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Make fun of your wife's spending habits in here (1 Viewer)

Getzlaf15 said:
So a year ago we paid off two used cars and some other debt.  The goal was to never go into debt again.  Was just told she has a $1500 balance on a credit union credit card. She said it was ok because it was zero interest.  I had to explain it was still debt.  :wall:
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Maybe she invested the $1500 in the stock market and she's going to pay off the credit card when the 0% offer expires, and she'll have a boatload of profit left over?? :arbitrage:

 
:lmao:

What is up with all the pillows?

We have the 2 we sleep with and 3 small ones that came with the sectional in the basement. Oh yeah, there's one on the couch upstairs.

 
Just dropped $1200 on XMas cards.  No way we have that many family and real friends.  Probably sent one to very person we've ever met.

ETA:  And that was with a 40% discount.  Which of course means we got a deal  :no:

 
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Brunell4MVP said:
Just dropped $1200 on XMas cards.  No way we have that many family and real friends.  Probably sent one to very person we've ever met.

ETA:  And that was with a 40% discount.  Which of course means we got a deal  :no:
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Holy crap.

My wife did Xmas cards for the 1st time this year. Let me find out if she spent $1200.

If I don't post in here ever again. Im locked up for homicide.

 
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A ### #### ####### package shows up at our house from Amazon every single day. My wife drops $3K a month and doesn't pay any of our bills. FML.

 
Brunell4MVP said:
Just dropped $1200 on XMas cards.  No way we have that many family and real friends.  Probably sent one to very person we've ever met.

ETA:  And that was with a 40% discount.  Which of course means we got a deal  :no:
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Naw dude.  Your wife's got a nasty habit she ain't trying you about.  Trust me, if there is a way to overspend on anything, my wife has done it and she has never crossed $300 on Christmas cards.  

You need to check her activities 

 
The guy has said numerous times and for years that his wife makes bank - I have no problem believing there’s designer Xmas cards that cost that much.  I’m guessing it may also be a service where she gives them all the names and addresses and they send them out for her.  

 
AAABatteries said:
The guy has said numerous times and for years that his wife makes bank - I have no problem believing there’s designer Xmas cards that cost that much.  I’m guessing it may also be a service where she gives them all the names and addresses and they send them out for her.  
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Now we know who her side piece is. What did she buy you with the $1150?

 
100 cards wife was about to order this morning, $400 - I interrupted, changed the site from minted to vistaprint, ordered something almost identical for about 80% cheaper. 

Good thing the investment guru has this super high paying job of housewife.

 
Shutout said:
Naw dude.  Your wife's got a nasty habit she ain't trying you about.  Trust me, if there is a way to overspend on anything, my wife has done it and she has never crossed $300 on Christmas cards.  

You need to check her activities 
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I agree, no way she spent $1,200 on Christmas cards.  Otis thinks that's absurd. 

 
It's astonishing to me what people waste money on.  Christmas cards?  Lolz.  

My wife doesn't waste money, except electricity. If a light can be turned on during the day, it's on.  But that's nothing, she's really quite frugal. :pickle:   

 
fantasycurse42 said:
100 cards wife was about to order this morning, $400 - I interrupted, changed the site from minted to vistaprint, ordered something almost identical for about 80% cheaper. 

Good thing the investment guru has this super high paying job of housewife.
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Wish I was there to interrupt. That’s just about what I just saw on the banking. Ridiculous. 

 
You mother####ers aren’t going to believe what just happened to me. Tl;dr my wife made us $125 with her toy hustle :lmao:

So after making about 4 trips to Target returning Hatchimals and wasting endless time, I had 5 LOL Big Surprises left. Now, these are prob the best toys she got and they were selling on EBay for like $100-$125, but after fees/shipping/etc my net would’ve been like $10-$15 per each sold, so I said #### it and was gonna return them, the last things to go back from her genius plan.

I had to go to Target anyways to pick up this Hot Wheels Gorilla Super Garage bc Im dying to buy this monstrosity that takes up about 40 square feet and will be played with exactly 4 times before it starts collecting dust. 

Target at the Atlantic Terminal in Brooklyn - think Walmart Black Friday meets the hood meets hipster gentrification Brooklyn chaos before Christmas.

I grab my 5 LOL packages and head to the toys section, grab this Gorilla Garage, and as I’m walking away an employee asks me where I got the LOLs. I told him I’m returning them and he looks shocked. I explain it’s a waste of time for me to sell them for a tiny profit and I’m just returning them - he guarantees me someone will buy them before I leave and says he’s been asked for it 20x today.

Anyways, Gorilla Garage and 5 LOLs in hand, I head to the returns line, about 50 people in this line, I get ready to settle in when some hipster chick with an “Im with Her” button on her Fjallraven bag runs over and asks where I got the LOLs. I tell her I’m returning them and she instantly offers me $80 bucks each for 3. This big fat Spanish chick with ketchup on her baggy sweatpants 2 people in front of me turns around and offers me $90 for 3 instantly... I get a tap on my shoulder from shorty with the super multi colored fur and gold teeth behind me and she says “here’s $500, I want em all boo!”

I was in shock and dying to start laughing (they cost $75 with tax), but I kept my cool, took the nickel and thanked her. She said if I had any other toys I should look her up (no joke)... I thought “yea, this big white **** baby,” but kept that to myself... she was def hitting on me (prob in a i just hooked her up friendly manner, but whatever, I’ll take all the scraps I can get at this point) but I was there to return the LOLs and grab the Gorilla Garage, not the hood sechs. I was gone and some arguing ensued between the 3 women, I didn’t stick around... self check-out, no line, paid, and gone!! 

I was so excited to talk about the huge profit from the wife, I’m still sitting in the car now typing this up  :excited:

 
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fantasycurse42 said:
You mother####ers aren’t going to believe what just happened to me. Tl;dr my wife made us $125 with her toy hustle :lmao:

So after making about 4 trips to Target returning Hatchimals and wasting endless time, I had 5 LOL Big Surprises left. Now, these are prob the best toys she got and they were selling on EBay for like $100-$125, but after fees/shipping/etc my net would’ve been like $10-$15 per each sold, so I said #### it and was gonna return them, the last things to go back from her genius plan.

I had to go to Target anyways to pick up this Hot Wheels Gorilla Super Garage bc Im dying to buy this monstrosity that takes up about 40 square feet and will be played with exactly 4 times before it starts collecting dust. 

Target at the Atlantic Terminal in Brooklyn - think Walmart Black Friday meets the hood meets hipster gentrification Brooklyn chaos before Christmas.

I grab my 5 LOL packages and head to the toys section, grab this Gorilla Garage, and as I’m walking away an employee asks me where I got the LOLs. I told him I’m returning them and he looks shocked. I explain it’s a waste of time for me to sell them for a tiny profit and I’m just returning them - he guarantees me someone will buy them before I leave and says he’s been asked for it 20x today.

Anyways, Gorilla Garage and 5 LOLs in hand, I head to the returns line, about 50 people in this line, I get ready to settle in when some hipster chick with an “Im with Her” button on her Fjallraven bag runs over and asks where I got the LOLs. I tell her I’m returning them and she instantly offers me $80 bucks each for 3. This big fat Spanish chick with ketchup on her baggy sweatpants 2 people in front of me turns around and offers me $90 for 3 instantly... I get a tap on my shoulder from shorty with the super multi colored fur and gold teeth behind me and she says “here’s $500, I want em all boo!”

I was in shock and dying to start laughing (they cost $75 with tax), but I kept my cool, took the nickel and thanked her. She said if I had any other toys I should look her up (no joke)... I thought “yea, this big white **** baby,” but kept that to myself... she was def hitting on me (prob in a i just hooked her up friendly manner, but whatever, I’ll take all the scraps I can get at this point) but I was there to return the LOLs and grab the Gorilla Garage, not the hood sechs. I was gone and some arguing ensued between the 3 women, I didn’t stick around... self check-out, no line, paid, and gone!! 

I was so excited to talk about the huge profit from the wife, I’m still sitting in the car now typing this up  :excited:
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She didn't ask if I had any other toys, but she was mad flirty, smiley, & overly friendly... Had to come clean on that. Everything else in there is factual. 

What am I going to do? I've been with the same woman for a decade, fantasizing about the inner city gold tooth chick with stacks gives me something to smile about. I bet I could've hit it, at least I'll tell myself that.

Anyways, wanted to be upfront about that. 

 
So, my MIL gives my wife a check every year for between $500-$1,000 on Christmas - to her, not me, bc she knows I put it right in the bank and she gets more pleasure seeing her daughter light it on fire. Anyways, I preface this story with that.

So a month ago, I get home, and I find two large boxes in our lobby - I obviously know it is for me, bc this was in the midst of some sort of package streak where I would arrive home to a new package every single day for about 35 days. The boxes say West Elm and I'm already pissed, I hate West Elm. I carry them upstairs and my wife is so happy, new hanging lights for the house... Don't worry, I'm using my mom's Christmas money to pay for these. I ask how much (she opened a West Elm card a few years ago and that is the only place I don't have a detailed look at her spending) - she tells me $750... Fine, great, you've spent your mom's Christmas money 2 weeks before the actual gift was received, congrats, idiot!

Two days later, I arrive home and there is this gargantuan package sitting there, as I open the door (and it was a long day to begin with at work) I scream at the top of my lungs YOU ####### #####!!!! (I just couldn't help myself) I assume everyone in my building thinks I'm a lunatic. Package weighed 100 pounds which I proceeded to lug up 2 flights of stairs. Not only was the weight a PITA, but the mirror (some artsy fartsy ugly as #### mirror nonetheless) inside was like 5 feet in height and like 3 feet wide, so you can imagine the difficulty in actually carrying a package of that weight with those dimensions. I inquired about the cost and now she is about 2x what her anticipated Christmas gift is... Needless to say, I'm not happy.

Fast forward to last week and I had a handyman fixing some stuff in the house, wife wanted him to hang the mirror due to the huge weight, she didn't trust my handy work, whatever, I can deal, I didn't want to hang that monstrosity anyways. It was hung up and I think it is ####### hideous. Wife had her sister sleep over Mon/Tues - Tuesday I get home and I just lay into this ugly thing hanging on our wall, just sharing my feelings of how disgusting it is, I mean the mirror itself has this brushed garbage on it so it can hardly even be used as a mirror. Her sister is cracking up as apparently they had spent a good part of the last two days discussing the same thing. 

Guess what I'm doing tonight? Taking this hideous, gigantic, heavy piece of garbage, lugging it back down the stairs, taking both car seats out of the back of our SUV, and off to return this waste of space. The good news is, the West Elm by us has absolutely no parking, so I'll prob get a ticket while running this thing inside for a refund. 

If anyone wants to punch my wife in the face, I'll turn a blind eye.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
So, my MIL gives my wife a check every year for between $500-$1,000 on Christmas - to her, not me, bc she knows I put it right in the bank and she gets more pleasure seeing her daughter light it on fire. Anyways, I preface this story with that.

So a month ago, I get home, and I find two large boxes in our lobby - I obviously know it is for me, bc this was in the midst of some sort of package streak where I would arrive home to a new package every single day for about 35 days. The boxes say West Elm and I'm already pissed, I hate West Elm. I carry them upstairs and my wife is so happy, new hanging lights for the house... Don't worry, I'm using my mom's Christmas money to pay for these. I ask how much (she opened a West Elm card a few years ago and that is the only place I don't have a detailed look at her spending) - she tells me $750... Fine, great, you've spent your mom's Christmas money 2 weeks before the actual gift was received, congrats, idiot!

Two days later, I arrive home and there is this gargantuan package sitting there, as I open the door (and it was a long day to begin with at work) I scream at the top of my lungs YOU ####### #####!!!! (I just couldn't help myself) I assume everyone in my building thinks I'm a lunatic. Package weighed 100 pounds which I proceeded to lug up 2 flights of stairs. Not only was the weight a PITA, but the mirror (some artsy fartsy ugly as #### mirror nonetheless) inside was like 5 feet in height and like 3 feet wide, so you can imagine the difficulty in actually carrying a package of that weight with those dimensions. I inquired about the cost and now she is about 2x what her anticipated Christmas gift is... Needless to say, I'm not happy.

Fast forward to last week and I had a handyman fixing some stuff in the house, wife wanted him to hang the mirror due to the huge weight, she didn't trust my handy work, whatever, I can deal, I didn't want to hang that monstrosity anyways. It was hung up and I think it is ####### hideous. Wife had her sister sleep over Mon/Tues - Tuesday I get home and I just lay into this ugly thing hanging on our wall, just sharing my feelings of how disgusting it is, I mean the mirror itself has this brushed garbage on it so it can hardly even be used as a mirror. Her sister is cracking up as apparently they had spent a good part of the last two days discussing the same thing. 

Guess what I'm doing tonight? Taking this hideous, gigantic, heavy piece of garbage, lugging it back down the stairs, taking both car seats out of the back of our SUV, and off to return this waste of space. The good news is, the West Elm by us has absolutely no parking, so I'll prob get a ticket while running this thing inside for a refund. 

If anyone wants to punch my wife in the face, I'll turn a blind eye.
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:pics:

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Guess what I'm my wife is doing tonight? Taking this hideous, gigantic, heavy piece of garbage, lugging it back down the stairs, taking both car seats out of the back of our SUV, and off to return this waste of space. The good news is, the West Elm by us has absolutely no parking, so I'll prob get a ticket while running this thing inside for a refund. 
Click to expand...

 
Kanil said:
MrsKanil: I know, I'm a genius.  Also, don't throw away the plastic, we'll put them back in the bags after the guests leave so they don't get dirty.  Now go hide the old ones in the closet.
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Yours and mine are definitely related.

My wife has gotten somewhat smart, though, and refuses to buy the small circular ones and the little cylindrical ones anymore.  Those were the only ones that provided the required entertainment when I was forced to arrange the pillows on the bed.

 
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