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Murky ultrasound results, wife is a basket case (1 Viewer)

rabidfireweasel said:
'pittstownkiller said:
Stay strong BK, not only for you but your wife.
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Actually, I would be careful with this. I played things way and it almost ended my marriage.Shortly after Katrina, while we were moving from Mississippi, my wife had a miscarriage. That was very difficult. Later she was pregnant again and the pregnancy was going very badly- extreme bleeding, bad ultrasounds, etc.I tried to be strong for my daughter and strong for my wife. I rarely showed how much it was tearing me up. I just lay awake at night, and tried to hold things together at home and make things work at my job. My wife and I had a distance growing between us. I thought it was just the stress of the situation, but I seemed like it might be bigger.One night, my wife is bleeding buckets. We call the hospital. They tell us she is miscarrying, and we need to sit tight. We can see the doctor in the morning. Now, we need to lay down and be still.My wife and I hold each other, and she says "What are we going to do? I can't take this again? I don't how I will get through this?' I try to be strong, but I can't. I just cry. I cry for my lost baby, I cry for tha baby I'm losing, I cry for my wife and I cry for me. My wife looks at me stunned- She says "I never knew this bothered you so much. I have felt so alone in my grief." I said "I was trying to be strong for you and for Charlotte."She said, "I married you to share this life with me and for us to walk the road together. We have been walking separately lately"She was right. We went to the doctor, and by some miracle, the baby was still hanging on and hanging in. He is 5 now. Life is awesome.There is a fine line between being strong and distant. Don't be distant.Again, I wish you the very best of luck during this absolutely devastating time of uncertainty.
Click to expand...
You're awesome. Great post.

 
T&P, we're all behind you here. Hang tough, be there with your family, we're pulling for you.

 
Good luck with all you are going through.

Don't forget to sleep. Ask a dr. for an rx to help you there if needed. Don't be afraid.

 
IvanKaramazov said:
rabidfireweasel said:
'pittstownkiller said:
Stay strong BK, not only for you but your wife.
Click to expand...
Actually, I would be careful with this. I played things way and it almost ended my marriage.Shortly after Katrina, while we were moving from Mississippi, my wife had a miscarriage. That was very difficult. Later she was pregnant again and the pregnancy was going very badly- extreme bleeding, bad ultrasounds, etc.I tried to be strong for my daughter and strong for my wife. I rarely showed how much it was tearing me up. I just lay awake at night, and tried to hold things together at home and make things work at my job. My wife and I had a distance growing between us. I thought it was just the stress of the situation, but I seemed like it might be bigger.One night, my wife is bleeding buckets. We call the hospital. They tell us she is miscarrying, and we need to sit tight. We can see the doctor in the morning. Now, we need to lay down and be still.My wife and I hold each other, and she says "What are we going to do? I can't take this again? I don't how I will get through this?' I try to be strong, but I can't. I just cry. I cry for my lost baby, I cry for tha baby I'm losing, I cry for my wife and I cry for me. My wife looks at me stunned- She says "I never knew this bothered you so much. I have felt so alone in my grief." I said "I was trying to be strong for you and for Charlotte."She said, "I married you to share this life with me and for us to walk the road together. We have been walking separately lately"She was right. We went to the doctor, and by some miracle, the baby was still hanging on and hanging in. He is 5 now. Life is awesome.There is a fine line between being strong and distant. Don't be distant.Again, I wish you the very best of luck during this absolutely devastating time of uncertainty.
Click to expand...
You're awesome. Great post.
Click to expand...
:goodposting:

 
pantagrapher said:
I hope everything turns out well. My wife is 3.5 mos. pregnant right now and is an emotional wreck every time we go in for status updates. It's still early, and everything is looking good so far. I can't imagine what you're going through or what I'd do in your position. Good luck.
Click to expand...
update?

 
10 months, 21 surgeries, and $5 million in medical bills later and it's only just begun.

I am Buddy's raging amygdala

We've spent the vast majority of the past 10 months inside a hospital, with only small windows of time at home and enjoying any sort of normal life with our daughter. Of course, normal is all relative if you consider the medicines, the in home nursing, and the constant trips to Dr Appts and middle of the night ER visits

If you want a Hollywood ending, stop reading. Though I suppose there is a silver lining and a hint of optimism for the most sanguine among us

Apparently when you take the insides of a human body and start dotting T's and crossing I's, instead of the other way around, all hell breaks loose. From internal bleeding to infections to major strokes to a common cold that is nothing to you and I but could kill her. Finally, after multiple attempts with every Dr that came into our view, i got one dept head to admit she has a 50/50 chance of making it to her 18th. Considering all that she's been through, i suppose thats a good thing. She's had so many complications stacked on top of one another that the medical journals don't even calculate her morbidity or mortality rates.

Amazingly, through it all, she's about the cutest kid you'll see. The few friends i have that were brave enough to visit have all said "you know i was really worried and nervous, but she looks like a normal kid, only more adorable".

And she's happy. Incredibly happy. If she's crying, which is rare, then something is wrong. Despite an entire lifetime of oxygen deprivation, a surgical procedure every other week, constant blood draws, needles, CT scans, MRIs, and virtually any other invasive procedure you can imagine...she's happy. Intensely curious about the world around her. Observant to a fault and keenly aware of anyone and everyone around her. Desperately attempting to communicate through her eyes, her one good hand, or her mouth which cannot speak or even make a sound.

Everything for the last 10 months and everything for the next X years will be about her. About putting forth every effort to give her a glimpse of a normal life. Holding on to the distant hope that we'll Andy Dufresne this ##### and come out clean on the other side. Probably not, but you never know
 
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