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My Brother's Fiancee (1 Viewer)

Steve Tasker said:
There is no way in hell I would be performing legal services on this.  You spoke with him, you gave him your honest brotherly opinion.  If he still wants to pursue it, he should find a new attorney.  If you're comfortable recommending someone you trust, go for it.  Just my two cents.
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I wouldn't even recommend someone. 

 
I'm not an attorney, so I may have some slightly erroneous facts here, but a coworker is going through a similar situation with a prolonged divorce right now.  He was the main breadwinner, she had/has virtually no income.  They had a kid pretty much immediately after they got married.  He went into the relationship already owning his own house, having his own mortgage, etc.  After a long time of her pestering him, he finally put her name on the house.

Immediately - like within a week - she filed for divorce and a restraining order claiming he was abusive.  I know this guy somewhat well, he's an oddball but I'm pretty sure he's not physically or verbally abusive.  Apparently she had been documenting fake claims - the way he tells it - of his abuse.  The restraining order was granted, and she was allowed to live in the house with the kid.  He had to move in with his parents (keep in mind he's still paying the mortgage; it's in his name only).

It's been about a year and a half now.  He has to be a certain distance from her at all times due to the restraining order.  She's finally moving out of their jointly-owned house.  Sounds great, right?  Well, she loves the neighborhood and their son goes to school in the neighborhood, so she just bought her own house - WITHIN THE RESTRAINING ORDER RANGE.  So now my coworker has to petition the court for an exemption or amendment to the restraining order so he can move back into his own house.  That he owned well before they ever met.  That he continues to pay 100% of the mortgage on.

Also, my understanding is that he is obligated to pay her attorney fees for the (still ongoing) divorce.

Don't let your brother get taken for a ride like my coworker.

 
This thread is great.  More crazy stories. Dont really even have to be true. Popcorn tastes just ad good either way

 
Sit down for a beer with your brother sans girlfriend(if she even allows that anymore).  This is a conversation that needs to be handled face to face.  A healthy relationship doesn't have someone giving up their assets pre-marriage and he needs to hear that.

Also, a few beers in him and you might be able to get him to open up more fully about how the relationship has really been the last month.  I'm guessing it's not good and she's already decided to leave him and is just trying to get whatever she can out of him before she does.  This sounds toxic and likely is.  You need to do what you can to help your brother see whatever truth there is.

 
I always wonder why more people aren't murdered when I read the divorce horror stories.  You're taking all my money and preventing me from seeing my kids?  Why do I care?  

Brutal. 

 
Pay for his vasectomy.  Get it done now.

See what you can do with your parents and any grandparents to keep inheritances from becoming marital property.

Tell him you miss your brother  Let him know you are happy for him if he is happy with how he has become under her constant supervision, but you miss your brother.  Ask him if he is happy, or he is hoping he will be happy once he has satisfied her demands.  Ask him what makes him think she will every run of demands he will have to satisfy before she makes him this imaginary future "happy".

See if he wants to go to Vegas.

Hire a private investigator to look into her past and present.  A dossier can make a very nice pre-wedding present.

 
These type of stories are what kept me from adding my fiancé at the time to my house title...she only asked once, I said I would think about it, that was 10 years ago, we've been married now for 7 and I hadn't thought about it until this thread. Guess I dodged a bullet. 

Man...I just wouldn't do it, especially because she's demanding it...no

 
jerry jones said:
These type of stories are what kept me from adding my fiancé at the time to my house title...she only asked once, I said I would think about it, that was 10 years ago, we've been married now for 7 and I hadn't thought about it until this thread. Guess I dodged a bullet. 

Man...I just wouldn't do it, especially because she's demanding it...no
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Not just that she's demanding it ultimatum style, but if she did send that email, that's  f'd up to the 100th degree. I'm wondering if she could be dangerous.

 
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Steve Tasker said:
I'm not an attorney, so I may have some slightly erroneous facts here, but a coworker is going through a similar situation with a prolonged divorce right now.  He was the main breadwinner, she had/has virtually no income.  They had a kid pretty much immediately after they got married.  He went into the relationship already owning his own house, having his own mortgage, etc.  After a long time of her pestering him, he finally put her name on the house.

Immediately - like within a week - she filed for divorce and a restraining order claiming he was abusive.  I know this guy somewhat well, he's an oddball but I'm pretty sure he's not physically or verbally abusive.  Apparently she had been documenting fake claims - the way he tells it - of his abuse.  The restraining order was granted, and she was allowed to live in the house with the kid.  He had to move in with his parents (keep in mind he's still paying the mortgage; it's in his name only).

It's been about a year and a half now.  He has to be a certain distance from her at all times due to the restraining order.  She's finally moving out of their jointly-owned house.  Sounds great, right?  Well, she loves the neighborhood and their son goes to school in the neighborhood, so she just bought her own house - WITHIN THE RESTRAINING ORDER RANGE.  So now my coworker has to petition the court for an exemption or amendment to the restraining order so he can move back into his own house.  That he owned well before they ever met.  That he continues to pay 100% of the mortgage on.

Also, my understanding is that he is obligated to pay her attorney fees for the (still ongoing) divorce.

Don't let your brother get taken for a ride like my coworker.
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i'll say 10 hail mary's for this guy

 
This sucks, wish you and your brother the best of luck, but I think we have all seen this movie before and know how the story ends. 

 
Christo said:
Have you asked him to explain to you why it is necessary to do this quickly?
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He emailed just now asking if they could sign tomorrow.  I asked if it needed to be tomorrow as I'm busy and leaving at noon.  He gave me sentences about how it should have been done weeks ago and how lucky he is to have her - i.e. didn't answer the question.  Probably her writing that email too.

 
Thorn said:
He emailed just now asking if they could sign tomorrow.  I asked if it needed to be tomorrow as I'm busy and leaving at noon.  He gave me sentences about how it should have been done weeks ago and how lucky he is to have her - i.e. didn't answer the question.  Probably her writing that email too.
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wow  :lmao:

 
Thorn said:
He emailed just now asking if they could sign tomorrow.  I asked if it needed to be tomorrow as I'm busy and leaving at noon.  He gave me sentences about how it should have been done weeks ago and how lucky he is to have her - i.e. didn't answer the question.  Probably her writing that email too.
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Good Christ.

Maybe scare them with the realty transfer tax?

"Ok here is the deed.  Now, to record this I need you guys to write a check for $2,450.  Why?  Well, you see when you change title to a property that is mortgaged in New Jersey there is a realty transfer tax that has to be paid.  It is based on the size of the mortgage.  So at your mortgage of "sumsuch" the RTF is 2450.  I can't record the deed without that."

 
Can't you give him some legal jargon to effectively tell him that you can't do this since you're related?  Is the only reason you're considering doing this (or seem to be at least) the fact you don't want to end up estranged from your brother? 

 
Yankee23Fan said:
Good Christ.

Maybe scare them with the realty transfer tax?

"Ok here is the deed.  Now, to record this I need you guys to write a check for $2,450.  Why?  Well, you see when you change title to a property that is mortgaged in New Jersey there is a realty transfer tax that has to be paid.  It is based on the size of the mortgage.  So at your mortgage of "sumsuch" the RTF is 2450.  I can't record the deed without that."
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There actually is about $600 worth of transfer tax that is due (which they would be exempt from if married) but he didn't even blink. :shrug:  

 
Does he have a mortgage on the place?  Many mortgage lenders won't allow quitclaim deeds as part of their contract.  You might ask him to check into that before going any further.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Can't you give him some legal jargon to effectively tell him that you can't do this since you're related?  Is the only reason you're considering doing this (or seem to be at least) the fact you don't want to end up estranged from your brother? 
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99.9% sure if I don't do it, he will go to someone else, and spend another $300 or whatever for deed prep.

 
Thorn said:
He emailed just now asking if they could sign tomorrow.  I asked if it needed to be tomorrow as I'm busy and leaving at noon.  He gave me sentences about how it should have been done weeks ago and how lucky he is to have her - i.e. didn't answer the question.  Probably her writing that email too.
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Both of my brothers went through marriages with ultra-controlling/crazy women.  My best friend since i was 19 has done it twice. 

Guys like this won't listen to reason.  If you press them, plead with them, they will choose the poon over you (like your other brother).  It's a sad thing to watch.  

If it were me I'd tell my brother "I'm sorry but I can't help you with the legal/real estate stuff.  If you were a guy off of the street I'd tell you the whole thing was a bad idea.  I'm telling you it is not just because you're my brother but I'm a lawyer and I'm supposed to look out for my client's best interests."

 
Thorn said:
He emailed just now asking if they could sign tomorrow.  I asked if it needed to be tomorrow as I'm busy and leaving at noon.  He gave me sentences about how it should have been done weeks ago and how lucky he is to have her - i.e. didn't answer the question.  Probably her writing that email too.
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obviously no way of asking what being lucky to have her has to do with getting her on the deed? 

 
Thorn said:
He emailed just now asking if they could sign tomorrow.  I asked if it needed to be tomorrow as I'm busy and leaving at noon.  He gave me sentences about how it should have been done weeks ago and how lucky he is to have her - i.e. didn't answer the question.  Probably her writing that email too.
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Send the cops, he is obviously being held against his will.

 
Thorn said:
So my brother is engaged to a pretty nutty chick.  She is very jealous, reads his emails and texts, and accuses him of stuff all the time.  A couple of months ago my brother called me, my mom, and my dad one day, and with her in the background yelling, "admitted" to each of us that he had cheated on her and that the wedding was off.  The wedding is planned for summer of 2018, so I don't even know what that means, but whatever.

FWIW, the "cheating" was my brother receiving a topless pic, and going to get a happy hour drink with, a co-worker, 18 months ago.  This was before he was engaged or living with the fiancee, but after they had been going out for a while.  At any rate, nothing physical, and after the happy hour he sorta wised up and stopped communicating with the co-worker.  She discovered this by reading his old work emails.

My brother has been in full-blown "I can't lose her" mode since.  Anyway, today I get an email from his work account that starts off "Hey [my full first name]".  The email asks me to write up a deed to put fiancee on title to his condo (I'm a real estate lawyer).  It didn't read like his writing, and to confirm my suspicion, I flipped through the last 50 or so emails from him to me, and none have a salutation of any kind.  Plus he's never called me my full first name in his life.

I have no idea how to respond.  If I call her out I fear that it will be the beginning of a wedge bxt us, and the first step towards estrangement (isn't this how it starts?).  Any bright ideas?
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Phone your brother and ask some question related to putting her on the deed. For instance, "Hey, I am working on getting [her name] on your deed. What is her middle name?"

This alerts your brother of the request without making any accusatory remarks. 

 
Oh and one of my brothers just got married for the third time this weekend.

Shockingly his new wife gave him a ridiculous ultimatum right after they got engaged last year.  He complied like she had a taser to his balls.   

 
Is it just be or does the thread title sound like it should be a new Brazzers series?

"Sure id be happy to draw up that paperwork for you"

:pickle:

 
Thorn said:
There actually is about $600 worth of transfer tax that is due (which they would be exempt from if married) but he didn't even blink. :shrug:  
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I'm running out of DEFCON's here.

1. Updated title search!  Tell them you need an updated title search to make sure that nothing on the public record would be a problem.  You don't have to say judgments, but that is the big issue.  It would be about a week to do that - because you want to protect them both from any issues.

2. You could always tell them that because you are related you can't notarize your brother's signature for the deed which is kinda technically true unless you know the New Jersey Administrative Code; or if your secretary isn't a notary.

3. How about this - at least - if you feel like you have to do it because "brother" don't designate the tenancy.  At least then it would be tenants in common and he owns 50% instead of survivorship.  Then he at least has the chance to partition her out of the property when this blows up.

I will keep thinking of something because this is vastly more intriguing then my current pile on desk.

 
Yankee23Fan said:
I'm running out of DEFCON's here.

1. Updated title search!  Tell them you need an updated title search to make sure that nothing on the public record would be a problem.  You don't have to say judgments, but that is the big issue.  It would be about a week to do that - because you want to protect them both from any issues.

2. You could always tell them that because you are related you can't notarize your brother's signature for the deed which is kinda technically true unless you know the New Jersey Administrative Code; or if your secretary isn't a notary.

3. How about this - at least - if you feel like you have to do it because "brother" don't designate the tenancy.  At least then it would be tenants in common and he owns 50% instead of survivorship.  Then he at least has the chance to partition her out of the property when this blows up.

I will keep thinking of something because this is vastly more intriguing then my current pile on desk.
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There's zero way he goes through with any of this.  The OP seems about as whipped as the OP's brother.

 
ArbyMelt said:
Wow, his fiancee sounds exactly like my friend's wife. We warned him. He is miserable now. It only gets worse. You have to sabotage the relationship now, its for his own good.
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agree with this.  You should have sex with the fiancee.

Do it for your brother.

 
Thorn said:
He emailed just now asking if they could sign tomorrow.  I asked if it needed to be tomorrow as I'm busy and leaving at noon.  He gave me sentences about how it should have been done weeks ago and how lucky he is to have her - i.e. didn't answer the question.  Probably her writing that email too.
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Oh my god.  Man, I'm sorry, GB.  

 

 
I'd go back to the "state won't let the title change unless mortgage changes to match" idea.  That will at least give her something to think about.

 
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