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My Brother's Fiancee (1 Viewer)

CurlyNight said:
My cousin a family lawyer will not be a part of anything like this that could cause problems if one of us asks for his help. If it was his brother in your brother's shoes, he'd advise him, show him the email, but stay out of it. If he wants to draw something up he should find someone else to do it. If he ever snaps out of this spell he's under and realises what's happened, he may forget you warned him and it would just create an uncomfortable situation for you, possibly for the rest of your lives. If you do the write up in a sense you are endorsing their relationship.
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I wish I had this fortitude. Oftentimes representing close friends and family just isn't worth it. But, it's pretty hard saying no. 

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Something that does not make sense for me.  If the castrating whore is into control why ask you to do the legal work? for a relatively small amount she could have had this done by any lawyer and kept the information, and thus the opportunity for intervention, away from his family.  Seems a risky move on her part.  I'm not getting the cost benefit analysis, unless she thought she could accomplish both the transfer and driving a wedge between you two all at the same time.  the latter still strikes me as too risky a play. 
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My assumptions are that 1) his brother probably told her that he trusts thorn to do this work and he may have held his ground on this; and 2) she probably didn't fight him on it because she knows how much in control she is and saw it as a minor issue. 

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Something that does not make sense for me.  If the castrating whore is into control why ask you to do the legal work? for a relatively small amount she could have had this done by any lawyer and kept the information, and thus the opportunity for intervention, away from his family.  Seems a risky move on her part.  I'm not getting the cost benefit analysis, unless she thought she could accomplish both the transfer and driving a wedge between you two all at the same time.  the latter still strikes me as too risky a play. 
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You don't understand why some woman who wants full control over someone's life would want to drive a wedge between those closest to him? 

 
Zow said:
I wish I had this fortitude. Oftentimes representing close friends and family just isn't worth it. But, it's pretty hard saying no. 
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He cites ethics and morals. Being a fam lawyer he's seen many alarming cases of crazy. In many cases, the crazy party seemed like a good person at the beginning. One ended in death, Lifetime movie style. One can never predict if someone is really just crazy or dangerous as well. I think the Thorn fam should do an intervention. Wisk him away. Have a counselor there who has done interventions. Bro has issues too. Co-dependence comes to mind. Letting him learn his lesson is not the right thing to do with someone who has issues himself and obviously needs psych help. As it stands now, Thorn doesn't have a bro, the real bro. Horrible situation to be in but if it were my bro and as much as I love him I couldn't do it, and esp if I thought the gal could very well be dangerous as well.

 
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jplvr said:
You don't understand why some woman who wants full control over someone's life would want to drive a wedge between those closest to him? 
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No, I get that as one might ascertain from me having raised that issue in the post you quoted.  what I do not get is why risk moving the financial matter and the family wedge in one move.  Its risky.  Taking care of the financial thing first makes way more sense because then it cannot be stopped.  After it is done she could find another wedge issue, or even ask his opinion on he transfer matter to raise many of the same issues discussed here, but after the fact, so it could not be stopped.  It is risk without reward.

 
:popcorn:   Also, you never really unpacked why he has not had steady access to vajajay in the past?  Is he a shy guy, something happen with an ex, etc?  Details dammit, we need details!

 
Ulysses Everett McGill: Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent. 

Delmar O'Donnell: Ok, Everett. 

Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a train! Truth means nothing to a woman, Delmar. Triumph of the subjective. You ever been with a woman? 

Delmar O'Donnell: Well, I... I... I gotta get the family farm back before I can start thinking about that. 

Ulysses Everett McGill: That's right, if then. Believe me Delmar, woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.

 
RokNRole said:
Ulysses Everett McGill: Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent. 

Delmar O'Donnell: Ok, Everett. 

Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a train! Truth means nothing to a woman, Delmar. Triumph of the subjective. You ever been with a woman? 

Delmar O'Donnell: Well, I... I... I gotta get the family farm back before I can start thinking about that. 

Ulysses Everett McGill: That's right, if then. Believe me Delmar, woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.
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http://i.imgur.com/FC1xSlK.gif

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
No, I get that as one might ascertain from me having raised that issue in the post you quoted.  what I do not get is why risk moving the financial matter and the family wedge in one move.  Its risky.  Taking care of the financial thing first makes way more sense because then it cannot be stopped.  After it is done she could find another wedge issue, or even ask his opinion on he transfer matter to raise many of the same issues discussed here, but after the fact, so it could not be stopped.  It is risk without reward.
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Oh, I doubt this woman thinks on those levels. I think she probably thinks this accomplishes two of her goals, so win win. 

 
Sucks man, there are no good options here.

I dealt with/am dealing with this same situation with a good friend of mine. Nothing worked, not even a full blow intervention with me, his other best friend and his family. Sorry. 

 
TheFanatic said:
Gonna need a Friday update here, @Thorn
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Well the deed is done. I have my objections known (reiterated them again today), told him I love him and will be here for him regardless, and that this was dumb. But I wrote up the deed and gave it to him. I couldn't see a way to prevent this without estranging him. 

I guess I'm at peace with it.

 
Thorn said:
Well the deed is done. I have my objections known (reiterated them again today), told him I love him and will be here for him regardless, and that this was dumb. But I wrote up the deed and gave it to him. I couldn't see a way to prevent this without estranging him. 

I guess I'm at peace with it.
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not much else to be done. 

and you slept with her, I presume?

 
Thorn said:
Well the deed is done. I have my objections known (reiterated them again today), told him I love him and will be here for him regardless, and that this was dumb. But I wrote up the deed and gave it to him. I couldn't see a way to prevent this without estranging him. 

I guess I'm at peace with it.
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How could you be?

 
Over/Under on how long before this relationship ends and she moves in with the guy she's been banging on the side and demands half the house?

 
Thorn said:
Well the deed is done. I have my objections known (reiterated them again today), told him I love him and will be here for him regardless, and that this was dumb. But I wrote up the deed and gave it to him. I couldn't see a way to prevent this without estranging him. 

I guess I'm at peace with it.
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Enabler

 
sbonomo said:
:popcorn:   Also, you never really unpacked why he has not had steady access to vajajay in the past?  Is he a shy guy, something happen with an ex, etc?  Details dammit, we need details!
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Part lazy, part shy, part fat/low confidence. He also had a couple of horrible chicks he briefly dated. One went home with another dude on their date, another was a fall down drunk. 

 
Thorn said:
Part lazy, part shy, part fat/low confidence. He also had a couple of horrible chicks he briefly dated. One went home with another dude on their date, another was a fall down drunk. 
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Besides the fat part your brother and I have a lot in common

 
Thorn said:
Well the deed is done. I have my objections known (reiterated them again today), told him I love him and will be here for him regardless, and that this was dumb. But I wrote up the deed and gave it to him. I couldn't see a way to prevent this without estranging him. 

I guess I'm at peace with it.
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There is no way this ends up well.  This poor sap is not only going to have a broken heart, he is also going to be broke.     you are in an impossible position here.  Keep us updated for the eventual disaster.

 
I really thought that telling him you love him and that you would do anything for him, but that you wouldn't be a part of this decision because it goes against your principles, would be a stronger message than just complying. 

At least he would need to find an unbiased third-party lawyer to do it, who would likely name off all the reasons why it's a bad idea too. Maybe he would listen? It prolongs the timeframe for possible turnabout and you're not a party to the debacle. Be prepared for those who tell you in real life, "How you could do this?"

Sucks, man. I hope your bro is ok. 

 
Thorn said:
Well the deed is done. I have my objections known (reiterated them again today), told him I love him and will be here for him regardless, and that this was dumb. But I wrote up the deed and gave it to him. I couldn't see a way to prevent this without estranging him. 

I guess I'm at peace with it.
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I hope you don't end up estranged from him anyway.  Controlling spouses tend to do that with to their weak-willed partners as others have said.

The irony will be 5 years down the road when all this goes to hell and your brother in looking for people to blame points to you and says, "Why did you write up that contract?  You could have said no!" and you end up estranged from him anyway.  I'd prefer he'd not look at it that way, but plenty of victims like him never truly own their role in their horrible marriages.

 
TheFanatic said:
The fact that this had to happen by today means I will take the under. There is a time importance here because she has plans. 
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Going to take her some more time to get access to all of his assets and she has to appear to have put some effort in to the marriage for court doesn't she?

 
Thorn said:
I understand this take. But for me it was a choice bxt enabling or estranging.  Plus they will likely have kids that I want to know, and if I didn't do it, he still would have gone to someone else. 
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Any chance that you've now put yourself in a position to be estranged from other family members?

 
pats3in4 said:
I hope you don't end up estranged from him anyway.  Controlling spouses tend to do that with to their weak-willed partners as others have said.

The irony will be 5 years down the road when all this goes to hell and your brother in looking for people to blame points to you and says, "Why did you write up that contract?  You could have said no!" and you end up estranged from him anyway.  I'd prefer he'd not look at it that way, but plenty of victims like him never truly own their role in their horrible marriages.
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I guess that's why I reiterated my objections today. Sort of a preemptive "told you so."

 
pats3in4 said:
I hope you don't end up estranged from him anyway.  Controlling spouses tend to do that with to their weak-willed partners as others have said.

The irony will be 5 years down the road when all this goes to hell and your brother in looking for people to blame points to you and says, "Why did you write up that contract?  You could have said no!" and you end up estranged from him anyway.  I'd prefer he'd not look at it that way, but plenty of victims like him never truly own their role in their horrible marriages.
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Then Thron just copy/pastes this thread link and sends it to him.  It is definitive proof that Thorn had his brother's best interest and wellbeing in mind but ultimately did not want to risk losing touch with him.  Reading this will exonerate Thorn completely and I for one think he should be admired for putting aside HIS OWN personal beliefs and doing what he felt was right, even though everybody here was screaming at him that he was going to do the wrong thing.  Not one person typing in this thread knows Thorn's brother or his family or the girl in question but that didn't stop us all from being experts.  Maybe give the guy who actually knows them the benefit of the doubt?

 
Limp Ditka said:
Any chance that you've now put yourself in a position to be estranged from other family members?
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Don't think so. For one, not sure how they would find out, for two they're pretty rational and, would therefore blame him or her, not me (I think).

 
General Malaise said:
Then Thron just copy/pastes this thread link and sends it to him.  It is definitive proof that Thorn had his brother's best interest and wellbeing in mind but ultimately did not want to risk losing touch with him.  Reading this will exonerate Thorn completely and I for one think he should be admired for putting aside HIS OWN personal beliefs and doing what he felt was right, even though everybody here was screaming at him that he was going to do the wrong thing.  Not one person typing in this thread knows Thorn's brother or his family or the girl in question but that didn't stop us all from being experts.  Maybe give the guy who actually knows them the benefit of the doubt?
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Where is the fun in that?

 
100% of the people here said don't do it.

OP went the other way.

What could possibly go wrong?

Absolutely insane you let yourself get dragged into this, no way this thing doesn't blow up and now you will be forced to unwind this later.  A simple "I don't don't do family work" would have been fine and in the end it would have gone the same way but you wouldn't have had a part here.

 
General Malaise said:
Then Thron just copy/pastes this thread link and sends it to him.  It is definitive proof that Thorn had his brother's best interest and wellbeing in mind but ultimately did not want to risk losing touch with him.  Reading this will exonerate Thorn completely and I for one think he should be admired for putting aside HIS OWN personal beliefs and doing what he felt was right, even though everybody here was screaming at him that he was going to do the wrong thing.  Not one person typing in this thread knows Thorn's brother or his family or the girl in question but that didn't stop us all from being experts.  Maybe give the guy who actually knows them the benefit of the doubt?
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:goodposting: Having Holed Thorn's Corn on a number of occasions, I feel I can speak favorably of his character. I am sure he struggled with this but in the end I would trust his judgement. I just wish I had some sort of advice to contribute.

 
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I had a buddy in a situation like this. Nobody could talk any sense into him. He married her despite all the warnings, including some that may have originated from a deity I'm not even sure I believe in (bridesmaid passing out mid-ceremony and loud foreboding thunder at "if anyone can show reason why this couple shouldn't be together". That was actually pretty fantastic.)

I think they lasted 2 years, absolute hell the whole time.  When he took the divorce papers for her to sign, she was already living in a trailer with some Indian guy. She stepped outside and tried to convince my friend that he shouldn't file the papers and that everything would be OK between them if they just had a kid.

Sooooo much crazy in that one.  I can see if she's available if you want.

 
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