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My eyes are open. - Open letter and apology to the FFA (1 Viewer)

STEADYMOBBIN 22

STEADYMOBBIN 22

Footballguy
TL/DR : If I’ve ever crossed you I am truly sorry. Life is short, don’t be a Richard, tomorrow is not promised. 

Maybe it takes something like a tragedy to occur before you realize how precious life is. As some of you know I lost my little brother recently and it’s absolutly rocked my world. Prior to his death I was already on a path of enlightenment and the betterment of myself but I think this event has really sped up the process. 

Point of this thread is that over the past 10+ years on this forum I could often come off as a compete Richard if you were in my crosshairs. I’ve been better about this the past few years but I wanted to make a point to apologize wholeheartedly to anyone on this board I may have upset. Maybe I made a smarmy comment or said something insensitive to you. If I did I am truly sorry. It was my own faults and deficiencies as a person that caused me type those words, not yours.

Even before this event in my life I have always been open to criticism and self reflection but that didn’t always stop me from being a Richard. 

So while it may seem like I’ve lost my marbles and/or I’m being overly emotional- I’m not. I’m actually in a great place right now. I had a pretty rough upbringing in a pretty rough surroundings so I started behind the eight ball. Since my brothers passing I’ve morphed into a better person who wants to treat everyone with respect and without judgment. I want to make amends for any wrong doings I have committed. I’m treating myself better and the people around me. I will still fail from time to time.

So.... I think a fellow FBG said it best with a post I’m about to quote. I left off the first part as that’s for him to share but please read what I have said today and what Sullie said below. Life is short, tomorrow is not promised. Be kind to each other. 

Read this and take it to heart and you’ll be a better person for it and I don’t mean in the eyes of others.

Sullie said:
....... And, you know, this really brings up another point, we ALL really need to be kind to each other you know?  It's so easy to $hi on people, make fun of people, talk $hit behind each other backs but damnit you really don't know what all everyone around you is going through you know?  You really have no idea what kind of pain other people are suffering through (mental, physical, emotional, etc.)  And, you know, you don't have to solve everyone's problems but it doesn't cost anything to just smile, say hi or hold open a door for God's sake you know?  Listen to your wife's work stories, let your kid(s) tell you their silly jokes, let a co-worker vent for a few minutes, none of that costs more than a few minutes of your time.  Again, life is terribly, terribly short, it's a good life lesson for all of us to just be a little more patient, a little more tolerant, a little more kind to each other.
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Have a great day my fellow FBGs.  :)

 
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I was very saddened to hear about your brother. Now I'm pist that I never got flamed by the old you. Anyways, hope things are better than expected for you and your family.

 
I only go back 4 or so years, but you've never come across as an ahole.  You should be proud to have found a good mental space and continue to improve yourself.  Most don't have the self awareness to even begin that journey.  Good luck to you!  

 
For starters my name is Richard so lay off the derogatory usage guy. 

Good for you though. I’m sorry about your brother. I’m sure this would make him happy. I too would like to be better. Thanks for the advice. 

 
Hey bro,

You've flamed me a few times, once about tattoos and once about a really stupid thing I said about Tony Romo (you had some real choice words for me) but you've also been really complimentary at times about sensitive subjects to me, so let me say this as someone who won't testify to the essence of your character from a message board, but has seen you, warts and greatness and all...

I'm sorry again to hear about the death of your brother. I hope -- hope -- that you listened to Henry about the circumstances surrounding it. He's wise beyond this board, even. My best to you, STEADY. I think you're at least an honest, meaningful cat, and some of us (and I include me) with the greatest faults can have the greatest sympathies and loves. You need not apologize, IMHO, but it's nice to know that we're all working on ourselves one day at a time, emotions and everything.

 
rockaction said:
Hey bro,

You've flamed me a few times, once about tattoos and once about a really stupid thing I said about Tony Romo (you had some real choice words for me) but you've also been really complimentary at times about sensitive subjects to me, so let me say this as someone who won't testify to the essence of your character from a message board, but has seen you, warts and greatness and all...

I'm sorry again to hear about the death of your brother. I hope -- hope -- that you listened to Henry about the circumstances surrounding it. He's wise beyond this board, even. My best to you, STEADY. I think you're at least an honest, meaningful cat, and some of us (and I include me) with the greatest faults can have the greatest sympathies and loves. You need not apologize, IMHO, but it's nice to know that we're all working on ourselves one day at a time, emotions and everything.
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You’re actually one of the people that immediately came to mind. I honesty don’t remember the specifics and while I believe some of my criticism may have been warranted, I’m positive I could have conveyed my thoughts in a less crass manner. 

You have become one of the posters I enjoy and while I don’t always agree (who does?), I think you’re an intelligent and thoughtful person. 

Im sorry I was a jerk. 

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
You’re actually one of the people that immediately came to mind. I honesty don’t remember the specifics and while I believe some of my criticism may have been warranted, I’m positive I could have conveyed my thoughts in a less crass manner. 

You have become one of the posters I enjoy and while I don’t always agree (who does?), I think you’re an intelligent and thoughtful person. 

Im sorry I was a jerk. 
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Thanks, man, for the compliment. Also thanks for kind words -- or even a like -- over emotionally sensitive stuff, like I mentioned. It's really water under the bridge. I will say that you speak with conviction and meaning, so it gets my attention more than silent disagreement. I think, at times, it's better to disagree and let it be known than to acquiesce and hold resentment. Allow me to accept the apology, apologize in return (which is what I was really going for) and just be quiet from hereon in. Best to you, STEADY. 

 
Sorry about your brother, that really sucks.  I am sure you have flamed me, but I have no recollection and don't keep a notebook.  Treating people with respect is something we can all improve upon.  

 
I don't think we have ever argued about anything.  I don't argue much here anyway since I feel that it's a waste of time.  However, I like and respect your effort to reconcile with people, apologize, and move forward in a positive way.  Very cool.

 
True story - I know a guy who was a real jerk for decades.  Always fighting with people.  Always saying that one comment that goes too far.  Always in conflict.  Then one day about 8 years ago, he happens to get invited by a client to go see the Dalai Lama speak in front of a group of maybe 1000 people.  The Dalai Lama's entire speech was about the importance of having compassion for others at all times, in all circumstances.  After hearing the Dalai Lama's speech, this guy totally committed himself to living a more compassionate life.  It's pretty powerful stuff and recommend watching/reading for those of us who want to be "better" people.

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best of luck on your own personal journey.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
TL/DR : If I’ve ever crossed you I am truly sorry. Life is short, don’t be a Richard, tomorrow is not promised. 

Maybe it takes something like a tragedy to occur before you realize how precious life is. As some of you know I lost my little brother recently and it’s absolutly rocked my world. Prior to his death I was already on a path of enlightenment and the betterment of myself but I think this event has really sped up the process. 

Point of this thread is that over the past 10+ years on this forum I could often come off as a compete Richard if you were in my crosshairs. I’ve been better about this the past few years but I wanted to make a point to apologize wholeheartedly to anyone on this board I may have upset. Maybe I made a smarmy comment or said something insensitive to you. If I did I am truly sorry. It was my own faults and deficiencies as a person that caused me type those words, not yours.

Even before this event in my life I have always been open to criticism and self reflection but that didn’t always stop me from being a Richard. 

So while it may seem like I’ve lost my marbles and/or I’m being overly emotional- I’m not. I’m actually in a great place right now. I had a pretty rough upbringing in a pretty rough surroundings so I started behind the eight ball. Since my brothers passing I’ve morphed into a better person who wants to treat everyone with respect and without judgment. I want to make amends for any wrong doings I have committed. I’m treating myself better and the people around me. I will still fail from time to time.

So.... I think a fellow FBG said it best with a post I’m about to quote. I left off the first part as that’s for him to share but please read what I have said today and what Sullie said below. Life is short, tomorrow is not promised. Be kind to each other. 

Read this and take it to heart and you’ll be a better person for it and I don’t mean in the eyes of others.

Have a great day my fellow FBGs.  :)
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Sorry for your loss Steady, but I am glad it is helping you change your demeanor. 

To the quote from Sullie: I had a pastor at Church tell a story about buying a big pan of Lasagna from the Church's Kitchen (they sold meals to go). The Lasagna came in one of those aluminum pans which was filled to the brim. He put it in his front seat to drive home from work, and because of the lasagna he had to go really slow so he wouldn't make a mess of his car. Well, the Church is on a road that is one way in each direction and is very windy. So he starts going but very quickly has a long line of cars behind him all honking for him to go faster. Obviously he had no way to tell all of them that he had a lasagna in his front seat. His moral: when someone's not acting the way you think they should, keep in mind they may have a lasagna in the front seat. It will help you treat them better.

 
dhockster said:
Sorry for your loss Steady, but I am glad it is helping you change your demeanor. 

To the quote from Sullie: I had a pastor at Church tell a story about buying a big pan of Lasagna from the Church's Kitchen (they sold meals to go). The Lasagna came in one of those aluminum pans which was filled to the brim. He put it in his front seat to drive home from work, and because of the lasagna he had to go really slow so he wouldn't make a mess of his car. Well, the Church is on a road that is one way in each direction and is very windy. So he starts going but very quickly has a long line of cars behind him all honking for him to go faster. Obviously he had no way to tell all of them that he had a lasagna in his front seat. His moral: when someone's not acting the way you think they should, keep in mind they may have a lasagna in the front seat. It will help you treat them better.
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There's a ton of wisdom in this little story.

Throughout my life I've seen numerous little incidences like this, where I was aggravated by something, or assumed something, and later found out more of the story that made me realise that I should have been more compassionate and considered that there could be extenuating circumstances.

I try my best to remember this constantly as I go through each day.

But man... sometimes the freeways... but I digress.

 
NotSmart said:
There's a ton of wisdom in this little story.

Throughout my life I've seen numerous little incidences like this, where I was aggravated by something, or assumed something, and later found out more of the story that made me realise that I should have been more compassionate and considered that there could be extenuating circumstances.

I try my best to remember this constantly as I go through each day.

But man... sometimes the freeways... but I digress.
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It's never easy to put yourself in the other guys shoes.....especially on the freeway  :D

 
dhockster said:
It's never easy to put yourself in the other guys shoes.....especially on the freeway  :D
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Agree, but it's always better to walk a mile in someone's shoes before criticizing them.  That way, when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

 
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