My girlfriend is close friends with her ex-boyfriend (1 Viewer)

[comfortably numb]

FYI

Costanza did this 1st with leaving his hat at his ex's apartment so he had a reason to go back.

Rusty is taking this to a WHOLE nother level

 

[Ned Ryerson]

Whatever dog is an excuse to spend time together. If it was a girl would it be different?

You mean if she had a female roommate that she lived with for five years, bought a dog with that they shared, who she saw after they stopped living together?

As opposed to a guy who she was banging for five years, that she dumped for vague reasons, and is now seeing frequently without her BF?

No, I don't see any difference at all.

I'm not saying she is cheating, but to claim there is no difference between the two is a bit naive.

 

[McGarnicle]

Sometimes I think about starting a thread about my personal life, and then I read one of these.

Im dying to hear true stories from the private life of a professional internet doosh

You shut your mouth, McGarnicle is an Internet treasure.

You can polish a turd but it still stinks

jeez man, I'd been laying off you lately. Did you lose your job at the tollbooth?

 

[MC Gas Money]

Sometimes I think about starting a thread about my personal life, and then I read one of these.

Im dying to hear true stories from the private life of a professional internet doosh

You shut your mouth, McGarnicle is an Internet treasure.

You can polish a turd but it still stinks

jeez man, I'd been laying off you lately. Did you lose your job at the tollbooth?

Im actually starting to slightly like you lately but I thought u could handle a good ribbing.

What is this tollbooth nonsense?

 

[Thorn]

I think we all know who's handling the good ribbing in this story.

 

[jhib]

It's really difficult because, on the one hand, I could see myself being with my current girlfriend forever; however, on the other hand, I would enjoy being single for a while before I settle down again. I just don't think keeping it casual is a realistic option because that's just not the way we are together. It's pretty much either serious or nothing.

For you or her?

I mean she is open to a 3some and letting you possibly bang someone once a year?

How "serious" can she be about the relationship?

She's very serious about the relationship. We were best friends for about a year before we started dating, and she refers to me as her "life partner." I think her proposing those things was her way of trying to convince me to stay with her despite my stated desires to have sex with other girls.

Could be. Or (and maybe I'm just stating the obvious here), the once a year sex with someone else part could be to make her feel better about her own actions and the the threesome part could be a trap that leads to "her turn" where you-know-who gets to join the two of you the next time.

 

[Chaos Commish]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

 

[Blind Tiger]

Don't change. Don't ask her to change. If it isn't right then leave and find one that is right. This isn't hard.

 

[chauncey]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

I wish I could comprehend what the hell you were trying to say in each of those paragraphs, it sounded relevant.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

I wish I could comprehend what the hell you were trying to say in each of those paragraphs, it sounded relevant.

Chaos projected his insecurities onto two stories told by his nieces. When they didn't agree with him, he became a condescending moron.

 

[Van Dyman]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

I wish I could comprehend what the hell you were trying to say in each of those paragraphs, it sounded relevant.

He's saying every time a female tells him she has relationship problem, he assumes her man must be cheating on her. This is how people on the message boards say "I cheated on my wife and now I think that's the root of every relationship problem." It's a cry for help.

ETA: Doh! Idiot Boxer beat me to it.

 

[Buckfast 1]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

Terrific news for you, I suppose, so congrats.

Now, on to the important stuff for our amusement, did the conversation take threesomes and hall passes off the board, because from my reading they are still in play.

 

[Buckfast 1]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

Terrific news for you, I suppose, so congrats.

Now, on to the important stuff for our amusement, did the conversation take threesomes and hall passes off the board, because from my reading they are still in play.

As far as I'm concerned, those are always on the table until expressly revoked.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Glad to hear it, Buck! It's amazing what talking about something can accomplish.

 

[Chaos Commish]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

I wish I could comprehend what the hell you were trying to say in each of those paragraphs, it sounded relevant.

Chaos projected his insecurities onto two stories told by his nieces. When they didn't agree with him, he became a condescending moron.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I was right in both cases. Niece #1 is shattered emotionally. She thought he was the one. She's been a wreck since finding the other woman on Instagram a month ago. In January niece #2 followed her fella to the other woman's apartment on a night he said he was having a few drinks with his brothers. I "liked" your first post in this thread yesterday IB. Don't be such a twerp.

 

[Thorn]

I don't understand why you did all this legwork to set up a Friday thread only to give up now.

 

[Chaos Commish]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

Terrific news for you, I suppose, so congrats.

Now, on to the important stuff for our amusement, did the conversation take threesomes and hall passes off the board, because from my reading they are still in play.

As far as I'm concerned, those are always on the table until expressly revoked.

Then this conversation has just begun.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

I wish I could comprehend what the hell you were trying to say in each of those paragraphs, it sounded relevant.

Chaos projected his insecurities onto two stories told by his nieces. When they didn't agree with him, he became a condescending moron.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I was right in both cases. Niece #1 is shattered emotionally. She thought he was the one. She's been a wreck since finding the other woman on Instagram a month ago. In January niece #2 followed her fella to the other woman's apartment on a night he said he was having a few drinks with his brothers. I "liked" your first post in this thread yesterday IB. Don't be such a twerp.

It was not clear.

It also appears that the doomsayers in this thread were wrong.

 

[Chaos Commish]

I don't understand why you did all this legwork to set up a Friday thread only to give up now.

All this legwork was for the threesome.

 

[nirad3]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

 

[Weeber]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

Lol he ate that up like it was candy. Hope you like next day sloppy seconds buck.

 

[comfortably numb]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

Lol he ate that up like it was candy. Hope you like next day sloppy seconds buck.

Ask to see her chat logs on facebook

BOOOOM!

 

[Zow]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

BASTION OF REASONABLENESS!!!!111

Seriously, either marry this one or dump her and start banging randoms.

 

[Zow]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

oh come on

 

[BobbyLayne]

Is Buckfast 1 revenge ####### the dog yet?

 

[eoMMan]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

Lol he ate that up like it was candy. Hope you like next day sloppy seconds buck.

Yeah, he's getting played. This is sad.

 

[BobbyLayne]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

Alright, what else we got teed up for Friday?

 

[irish eyes]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

Did anyone else not see the part that the ex has a key to her place?? Are you kidding me dude, man you are push over. Send her packing now!

 

[Zow]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

I am always humored by the apparent inability of the better sex to somewhat not comprehend (or at least claim to not comprehend) that, in a complicated situation, that it's plausible a guy is seeing another girl.

I've had this exact situation take place in complicated relationships, usually ones that have distance, involve me knowing that I'm moving somewhere soon, or that there has been expressed terms that a relationship isn't serious. And it always ends with the girl and her family concluding that they "thought" I was a great guy. It always went this way:

Woz: Hey, I know [situation is complicated], do you want to try an exclusive relationship though? I like you and am open about it. If not though I'm cool with that too I just want to keep everything above board.

Girl: Well... I think for now we just keep things as is. I still talk to [insert name of another guy] and you're gone/going to be gone. I don't think I can commit but I still want to talk and see each other. You're a really nice guy and my parents think I should marry you but I just don't know right now. I'm sorry, is that okay?

Woz: Okay great, no problem.

.... *Woz continues to talk and bang girl yet begins to date and bang other girls with no attempts to hide it...

Girl: Hey, I saw/heard that you were out on a date with another girl. You #######!

Woz: Well yeah. You indicated we weren't exclusive or anything. I'm confused.

Girl: Me and my family thought you were such a great guy... turns out we were wrong.

 

[Zow]

Is Buckfast 1 revenge ####### the dog yet?

I no longer find this joke funny.

 

[Kanil]

I don't understand why you did all this legwork to set up a Friday thread only to give up now.

Thursday night is the night he walks in on them. Have faith!

 

[Harry Manback]

So many insecure people here.

Good job, Buck.

 

[avoiding injuries]

I've skipped around this thread. Has anyone asked for pics of the gf with a penny and FBG sign to determine how much of this he should put up with?

 

[BobbyLayne]

Is Buckfast 1 revenge ####### the dog yet?

I no longer find this joke funny.

That's understandable. Yorkie breakups can take years to get over.

 

[Bull Dozier]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

oh come on

Gotta agree with nirad on this one.

 

[Thorn]

At Christmas I had two nieces in their mid/late 20s seeking relationship advice. With one, her mom my sis, told me the history for over an hour. It was so complicated and confusing to them. It was simple. He was seeing someone else and he was conflicted. They both flipped out about this, not because they agreed, but because... Buckfast... they were positive that wasn't it. Shame on me. A lot of anger vented my way for this accusation. Drama queens. He was too great a guy for that (also an attorney). I shrugged.

The other told a short story. I asked if it bothered her that he was doing the sex with someone else. She didn't flip out. She explained to me that they were just friends and they had been too honest (a work relationship) for her not to trust them. She was... Buckfast... positive that wasn't it, and disappointed wise old uncle Chaos didn't have some sort of clever strategic advice for her.

Welp.

I am always humored by the apparent inability of the better sex to somewhat not comprehend (or at least claim to not comprehend) that, in a complicated situation, that it's plausible a guy is seeing another girl.

You're almost always humored by all of us here as well, GB!

 

[CurlyNight]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

She did have advance notice of a talk coming down so...

 

[Buckfast 1]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

oh come on

I took her up on the offer to see the text messages right away, so she really didn't have the opportunity to delete anything. She also regularly lets me use her phone for stuff and is open with her phone password, so she's never been the type to try to hide her phone from me. You could tell from the tone of the text messages that there wasn't more going on than what was displayed in the texts. She also said that I am welcome to look at her text messages anytime that I want because she had absolutely nothing to hide, although I don't intend to take her up on that.

 

[Buckfast 1]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

BASTION OF REASONABLENESS!!!!111

Seriously, either marry this one or dump her and start banging randoms.

She really is the most logical woman I've ever encountered. She's certainly not the triflin' ho that many here are imagining.

 

[TheIronSheik]

So, I had the conversation about the ex-boyfriend yesterday. I think it was a pretty productive mature adult conversation.

I basically told her that I didn't think it was healthy for our relationship for her ex-boyfriend to be significantly involved in her life outside of what was minimally necessary for him to spend time with their dog. I said that I didn't have any problem with him picking up the dog occasionally or even them going out to lunch on rare occasions, but that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to hang out at her place while spending time with the dog or them going out to dinner together or texting frequently or anything else like that.

She said that she understood how I felt and thought that was completely reasonable. She said the last time she had seen him was several weeks ago after which I initially expressed that I was annoyed that he stayed for dinner after taking their dog for a run. She said that her friendship with her ex-boyfriend was not nearly as close as I thought it was and that practically all of their communications involved working out the logistics of him picking up the dog. She said that she typically doesn't even see him when he picks up the dog, as she usually arranges it so that he comes by to pick the dog while she is working or when she is out doing something else (he has a key to her place, which is kind of weird but it at least allows him to see the dog without her being around). Unprompted, she offered to let me look at all of her text messages with her ex-boyfriend on her phone. I figured that might help me better understand the nature of their friendship, so I went ahead and looked at the text messages with her. They were super boring text messages that repeatedly went like this:

Ex: "What does your schedule look like this week? Can I take Molly for a run one day?"

GF: "Buckfast and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. You can pick her up around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday if you want."

Ex: "Thanks. Have fun."

All of the text messages were completely innocuous and nearly all of them involved making arrangements to see the dog. There was nothing there that concerned me in the slightest. Seeing the text messages did make me feel better about the nature of their current relationship.

I also expressed that I didn't think it was healthy for him to serve as any type of emotional support for her, as I thought it could potentially interfere with the development of our relationship. She agreed and said that she no longer viewed him in in that way, but admitted that she thinks that he might still come to her for emotional support at times. I think that is mostly the result of the fact that the ex doesn't have as many friends in Denver (many of his friends were from my girlfriend's circle of friends), and my girlfriend was just too nice to not be there for him as a friend post-breakup. She said that she thought he had been relying less and less on her for emotional support, but that she would avoid playing that role in the future.

We also discussed the ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday, which is actually today. I asked her if she was planning on doing anything with him to celebrate, and she said no. She bought him a birthday card and a $20 Starbucks gift certificate, which she left for him at her place because he is taking the dog for a run today while she is at her monthly book club meeting. That seems pretty harmless to me.

Overall, I was really pleased with how the conversation went. As I have said all along, I was never concerned that she had any ongoing sexual relationship with the ex, and I don't think there is anything that even slightly suggests that she is. You don't trade in a prime bone-in ribeye for a standard sirloin. After seeing all of her text messages, I feel comfortable that their friendship is not nearly as close as I previously thought it was. I think we drew some pretty reasonable boundaries that she will take seriously because I know she truly wants to be with me and doesn't want this to be an ongoing source of conflict for us. And I think she knows that I will leave her if I am not satisfied with the ex-boyfriend situation going forward.

Perhaps it is a new world with exes sharing custody of a dog post-breakup. But it is the world that I live in considering that I also still interact with my crazy ex to the extent necessary for me to see our golden retriever occasionally.

BASTION OF REASONABLENESS!!!!111

Seriously, either marry this one or dump her and start banging randoms.

She really is the most logical woman I've ever encountered. She's certainly not the triflin' ho that many here are imagining.

Don't let other people's insecurities get in your way. You know her better than anyone on here. Hope all works out, GB.

 

[Buckfast 1]

Glad to hear it, Buck! It's amazing what talking about something can accomplish.

It definitely felt good to deal with a relationship issue with a calm, reasonable conversation where both people listen and consider what each person is saying, rather than through wild, irrational screaming and name-calling as I was more accustomed to with the ex-wife.

 

[Weeber]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

oh come on

I took her up on the offer to see the text messages right away, so she really didn't have the opportunity to delete anything. She also regularly lets me use her phone for stuff and is open with her phone password, so she's never been the type to try to hide her phone from me. You could tell from the tone of the text messages that there wasn't more going on than what was displayed in the texts. She also said that I am welcome to look at her text messages anytime that I want because she had absolutely nothing to hide, although I don't intend to take her up on that.

What the hell are u blabbering about? She had DAYS to delete any incriminating messages.Or you know delete them as soon as she reads/sends them.

 

[eoMMan]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

oh come on

I took her up on the offer to see the text messages right away, so she really didn't have the opportunity to delete anything. She also regularly lets me use her phone for stuff and is open with her phone password, so she's never been the type to try to hide her phone from me. You could tell from the tone of the text messages that there wasn't more going on than what was displayed in the texts. She also said that I am welcome to look at her text messages anytime that I want because she had absolutely nothing to hide, although I don't intend to take her up on that.

But did she let you see the text messages on her OTHER phone?

 

[Buckfast 1]

I really appreciate all the thoughts and advice in here. It was really helpful in thinking through the issue from different perspectives. I will certainly let you guys know if it turns out that I was wrong about the ex-boyfriend.

 

[General Malaise]

I really appreciate all the thoughts and advice in here. It was really helpful in thinking through the issue from different perspectives. I will certainly let you guys know if it turns out that I was wrong about the ex-boyfriend.

Did we ever get pics?

 

[Buckfast 1]

I really appreciate all the thoughts and advice in here. It was really helpful in thinking through the issue from different perspectives. I will certainly let you guys know if it turns out that I was wrong about the ex-boyfriend.

Did we ever get pics?

Nah, I'm not going to post pics of the current girlfriend. I've already given you guys tons of pics of the ex-wife, which is more than just about anyone else has ever done around here.

 

[Harry Manback]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

oh come on

I took her up on the offer to see the text messages right away, so she really didn't have the opportunity to delete anything. She also regularly lets me use her phone for stuff and is open with her phone password, so she's never been the type to try to hide her phone from me. You could tell from the tone of the text messages that there wasn't more going on than what was displayed in the texts. She also said that I am welcome to look at her text messages anytime that I want because she had absolutely nothing to hide, although I don't intend to take her up on that.

What the hell are u blabbering about? She had DAYS to delete any incriminating messages.Or you know delete them as soon as she reads/sends them.

You do realize, that you don't look "cool", or "smart" or anything other than a pathetic, insecure, looney tune...right?

 

[dhockster]

You seem to have resolved things for now.

But her ex definitely wanted to sleep with her since he was a personal trainer who is addicted to porn.

 

[Weeber]

She volunteered to show you text messages? Red flag.

You can easily go through a text conversation and delete ones you want.

oh come on

I took her up on the offer to see the text messages right away, so she really didn't have the opportunity to delete anything. She also regularly lets me use her phone for stuff and is open with her phone password, so she's never been the type to try to hide her phone from me. You could tell from the tone of the text messages that there wasn't more going on than what was displayed in the texts. She also said that I am welcome to look at her text messages anytime that I want because she had absolutely nothing to hide, although I don't intend to take her up on that.

What the hell are u blabbering about? She had DAYS to delete any incriminating messages.Or you know delete them as soon as she reads/sends them.

You do realize, that you don't look "cool", or "smart" or anything other than a pathetic, insecure, looney tune...right?

Wait, you think I'm trying to be cool for a bunch of neck beards on the internet lol.