My wife, she's... overweight. (2 Viewers)

[[icon]]

BTW, this has been a very good thread (even better with the ifight with beavers and icon).

Hey man... this forum is great for keeping me amused when its' a slow day at the office

 

[sbonomo]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

 

[sbonomo]

BTW, this has been a very good thread (even better with the ifight with beavers and icon).

Hey man... this forum is great for keeping me amused when its' a slow day at the office

BTW, not to hijack too much but your memphis bbq festival was on pittmaster this weekend (contestants were at the site cooking during the festival for the show)....Looks like a blast!

 

[Wrighteous Ray]

I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

I suspect this is true as well.

 

[[icon]]

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

If she's packing on weight with that diet then she is either KILLING it with loads of mayo on the sandwiches and horrible choices on the dinners.... or she's snacking when you're not looking and not being honest about it. Those veggies with a sauce are usually horrible for ya. Broccoli cooked to mush form then drowned in cheese sauce is no longer a healthy side

 

[[icon]]

nt some specific things that I plan on doing to help her.

I may come out of it with only 5 hours of sleep a night, but I have to give it a shot, and I want my healthy, happy wife back.

Good luck, man. You're pretty easy to root for.

hats off to the OP. He's reacting great to all sorts of feedback (shtick and legitimate) and seems to genuinely have a great mindset about all this. Your wife is a lucky woman.

 

[Nipsey]

gianmarco, which answer is correct:

In a make believe world we clone the OP's wife. There are now two identical Mrs. OP and we will feed them both exactly 2000 calories a day. They will both (not) exercise the same amount. One wife will eat a low carb diet of meats, nuts, veg, etc. The other will eat bread, pasta and potatoes. Again, both will consume exactly 2000 calories a day. After one year which will be true:

A) Low carb wife will have lost more weight (or not gain as much as B)

B) Bread/Pasta/Potato wife will have lost more weight (or not gain as much as A)

C) Both will weigh exactly the same

Answer:

Spoiler

A

 

[Invaded?]

So after all this bull####, did you decide on how to proceed?

I'm going to sit down with her this weekend and talk about how I really want to support her with her goals. I'm going to offer to help more in planning grocery trips and cutting out any extra crap we don't need to have in the house so she's not tempted, and focusing even more on cooking with fresh ingredients. I'm going to suggest that we both keep food logs (and check out myfitnesspal... I think keeping food logs will lead to some revelations about either her bad habits or portion control). I'm going to suggest that we find time in the mornings to do something together, or at minimum I will offer to help in whatever way I can (kids, etc.) to give her the time she needs to workout every day.I just plan on really conveying how I want her to be healthy and happy, and while I don't want to be the diet/exercise nazi, I do want to do more to support her. We've had the conversation before, but I am going to try to present some specific things that I plan on doing to help her.

I may come out of it with only 5 hours of sleep a night, but I have to give it a shot, and I want my healthy, happy wife back.

This sounds like basically the same approach you have taken before. Why do you think the results will be any different than before? BTW, this has been a very good thread (even better with the ifight with beavers and icon).

I believe in the past I have maybe focused more on "Just let me know what you need and I'll support you" rather than "Here's how I am specifically going to help you kick ###".I think I've just been too passive in my support and I need to step it up a notch and see what it brings.

 

[beavers]

BTW, this has been a very good thread (even better with the ifight with beavers and icon).

Meh, I've had better.

 

[Corky]

gianmarco, which answer is correct:In a make believe world we clone the OP's wife. There are now two identical Mrs. OP and we will feed them both exactly 2000 calories a day. They will both (not) exercise the same amount. One wife will eat a low carb diet of meats, nuts, veg, etc. The other will eat bread, pasta and potatoes. Again, both will consume exactly 2500 calories a day. After one year which will be true:A) Low carb wife will have lost more weight (or not gain as much as B)B) Bread/Pasta/Potato wife will have lost more weight (or not gain as much as A)C) Both will weigh exactly the same Answer:

Spoiler

A

Where is the extra 500 calories coming from.

 

[ATC1]

So after all this bull####, did you decide on how to proceed?

I'm going to sit down with her this weekend and talk about how I really want to support her with her goals. I'm going to offer to help more in planning grocery trips and cutting out any extra crap we don't need to have in the house so she's not tempted, and focusing even more on cooking with fresh ingredients. I'm going to suggest that we both keep food logs (and check out myfitnesspal... I think keeping food logs will lead to some revelations about either her bad habits or portion control). I'm going to suggest that we find time in the mornings to do something together, or at minimum I will offer to help in whatever way I can (kids, etc.) to give her the time she needs to workout every day.I just plan on really conveying how I want her to be healthy and happy, and while I don't want to be the diet/exercise nazi, I do want to do more to support her. We've had the conversation before, but I am going to try to present some specific things that I plan on doing to help her.

I may come out of it with only 5 hours of sleep a night, but I have to give it a shot, and I want my healthy, happy wife back.

This sounds like basically the same approach you have taken before. Why do you think the results will be any different than before? BTW, this has been a very good thread (even better with the ifight with beavers and icon).

Because you need to get beyond the generalization and get down to specifics. Instead of saying he will support her. He is saying how he will support her. The next step is a trail run.

 

[belljr]

BTW, this has been a very good thread (even better with the ifight with beavers and icon).

Meh, I've had better.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

 

[Invaded?]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

To clarify something I sort of mentioned earlier, while she is now probabaly 60-70 lbs heavier than when we got married, it was not until the last two years, and her most recent pregnancy, that she really got this far. I would guess she is probably 30 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and the other 20-30 lbs were just gained over the previous 8-9 years.

 

[ATC1]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

To clarify something I sort of mentioned earlier, while she is now probabaly 60-70 lbs heavier than when we got married, it was not until the last two years, and her most recent pregnancy, that she really got this far. I would guess she is probably 30 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and the other 20-30 lbs were just gained over the previous 8-9 years.

Not too late to breast feed your 2 year old until he/she is 9. I heard that helps get rid of calories and think of the money you save on food for the kids.

 

[Nipsey]

gianmarco, which answer is correct:In a make believe world we clone the OP's wife. There are now two identical Mrs. OP and we will feed them both exactly 2000 calories a day. They will both (not) exercise the same amount. One wife will eat a low carb diet of meats, nuts, veg, etc. The other will eat bread, pasta and potatoes. Again, both will consume exactly 2500 calories a day. After one year which will be true:A) Low carb wife will have lost more weight (or not gain as much as B)B) Bread/Pasta/Potato wife will have lost more weight (or not gain as much as A)C) Both will weigh exactly the same Answer:

Spoiler

A

Where is the extra 500 calories coming from.####.

 

[General Malaise]

Offer her a new husband.

It does seem as though the only real power a person has to try to change their spouse is to make a sincere threat to get a divorce. I'm just not willing to do that, though.

I was just joking, GB. There is no easy answer here for anybody. Weight loss is a real struggle for many people. My mother has dealt with it most of her adult life and I've watched her spend countless thousands of dollars over the years on various diets. She'll succeed and then put it back on, which depresses her. It's a bummer watching somebody you love go through this, especially when they get down on themselves.

 

[Wrighteous Ray]

I just hope the OP gets what he wants. Because if he takes a more active role and still doesn't see change, he's likely just to become more and more resentful.

 

[Exit 1]

Yeah, I think both you and your wife should use myfitnesspal.com. It's free and works great. As long as you don't lie about what you are putting in, it's very easy to track what you eat and very easy to lose weight. The smartphone app works great too.

After you put in your day's food/exercise, it'll say "if you eat like this every day, in 5 weeks you will weigh..."

 

[beavers]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

To clarify something I sort of mentioned earlier, while she is now probabaly 60-70 lbs heavier than when we got married, it was not until the last two years, and her most recent pregnancy, that she really got this far. I would guess she is probably 30 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and the other 20-30 lbs were just gained over the previous 8-9 years.

Not too late to breast feed your 2 year old until he/she is 9. I heard that helps get rid of calories and think of the money you save on food for the kids.

Is she breastfeeding now?

 

[gianmarco]

I simply disagree. You eat 2500 calories worth of pasta a day and i'll eat 2500 calories of meat a day. If we both started at 250 pounds and taking exercise out of the equation, I guarantee i lose weight and you don't (or not as much). 500 calories of carbs with no or little fiber is not the same as 500 carb free calories when it comes to weight gain/loss. It's not.

Some helpful information

There was no meaningful difference in weight loss among the participants, no matter which of four diets they were assigned to follow. The diets were based on nutritious foods with similar calories, but the ratio of fat, carbohydrates, and protein in the diets varied by group.

Don't get me wrong, in the end, cutting out some carbs is going to be helpful. Not because the carbs are "bad", but simply because the carbs are so calorie dense that people will feel hungry earlier eating those than they will other types of foods. Eating less calorie dense foods allows you to eat more which allows people to sustain their "diet" longer because they aren't as hungry. But from a pure weight loss standpoint, 250 calories of cake vs. 250 calories of fruit will have no difference on weight loss other than the cake person will want to eat sooner than the fruit person.

On one hand you're saying that a calorie is a calorie and on the other you're saying that they're not. I'm saying they're not and not only because you want to eat more when consuming certain types of calories. You're over simplify the deal in one paragraph, you contradict yourself in the next.

If you burn more calories than you take in, it's impossible to not lose weight. Nothing magical about it.

Sure, different styles of eating and diets will affect how your body metabolizes food

<>

We can go back and forth on this all day and I'm not really interested in doing so.

My initial post in response to your claim that it's the "carbs" that are doing it was stating that it's not the "carbs" that are bad. It's simply all the calories from the carbs. We're saying the same thing, just a little differently. I've lost weight eating mostly carbs. I had to significantly cut down what I ate, but it's very possible to lose weight while still eating a lot of carbs. It's just more difficult to do.

The point I was trying to get at is that there isn't a single "right" diet method for every single person. Any diet method CAN be successful, but some simply don't work well for people because they can't adhere to it well. And the goal of most every diet plan is to reduce caloric intake. If you increase protein intake and decrease carb intake, the protein will make you more full and you won't take in as much calorie dense food. Others will advocate cutting out fat. Still others talk about good carbs vs. bad carbs. The reason they all are able to work is because, if you follow them and keep the calories down, you'll lose weight. How you get there is up to you. Simply stating that carbs are "bad" is false. It's very possible to lose weight while still eating carbs. It may not have worked for you, but it has worked for others.

So yes, my statement is somewhat of an oversimplication. Yes, I know that there are some slight differences in how 2500 calories of protein is metabolized vs. 2500 calories of carbs. And yes, it's not a static issue either because as you decrease caloric intake, your body will reset it's basal expenditure rate and run "more efficiently", thus decreasing that difference between what you take in and what you burn. That's why you have to continue to readjust and why it's harder to keep losing weight as it goes on. But if you're aware of this, take it slowly, do some exercise (to burn more calories), and eat in moderation, weight loss can be done by following the simple concept of take in less than what you use. It's the basis of ANY diet system. There isn't a diet method in the world that will allow you to lose weight if you're taking in more calories than you burn. Not a single one. What diet methods are aiming to do is allow you to keep those calories down without starving yourself and while still getting in the proper nutrients that your body needs. This is also why lots of diets fail because they simply aren't sustainable long-term if you simply "cut out carbs" or "avoid the fat" or anything else drastic.

I really don't care to go back and forth on it any longer because I get where you're coming from and it's useful information for the most part. My advice for his wife, who has since struggled to lose weight with various diets, is to find one that fits what she likes to eat well and count calories. If she does that and adheres to it, she will lose weight. And if she can make it a lifestyle change and learn portion control, then she can sustain that long-term. For her, it may involve eating carbs and that's ok. That's all I'm trying to say.

 

[Wrighteous Ray]

Offer her a new husband.

It does seem as though the only real power a person has to try to change their spouse is to make a sincere threat to get a divorce. I'm just not willing to do that, though.

I was just joking, GB. There is no easy answer here for anybody. Weight loss is a real struggle for many people. My mother has dealt with it most of her adult life and I've watched her spend countless thousands of dollars over the years on various diets. She'll succeed and then put it back on, which depresses her. It's a bummer watching somebody you love go through this, especially when they get down on themselves.

Yeah, I knew it was shtick but there's a bit of truth in there too. [icon] said at the beginning of the thread that if his girlfriend gained a lot of weight and wouldn't lose it, he would break up with her. I think a lot of other guys are the same way. That's a pretty big motivator for a married woman -- lose the weight or have your marriage fall apart. There's nothing I can do that would be anywhere near as motivating.

 

[Invaded?]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

To clarify something I sort of mentioned earlier, while she is now probabaly 60-70 lbs heavier than when we got married, it was not until the last two years, and her most recent pregnancy, that she really got this far. I would guess she is probably 30 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and the other 20-30 lbs were just gained over the previous 8-9 years.

Not too late to breast feed your 2 year old until he/she is 9. I heard that helps get rid of calories and think of the money you save on food for the kids.

Is she breastfeeding now?

Nope.

 

[Chaka]

I simply disagree. You eat 2500 calories worth of pasta a day and i'll eat 2500 calories of meat a day. If we both started at 250 pounds and taking exercise out of the equation, I guarantee i lose weight and you don't (or not as much). 500 calories of carbs with no or little fiber is not the same as 500 carb free calories when it comes to weight gain/loss. It's not.

Some helpful information

There was no meaningful difference in weight loss among the participants, no matter which of four diets they were assigned to follow. The diets were based on nutritious foods with similar calories, but the ratio of fat, carbohydrates, and protein in the diets varied by group.

Don't get me wrong, in the end, cutting out some carbs is going to be helpful. Not because the carbs are "bad", but simply because the carbs are so calorie dense that people will feel hungry earlier eating those than they will other types of foods. Eating less calorie dense foods allows you to eat more which allows people to sustain their "diet" longer because they aren't as hungry. But from a pure weight loss standpoint, 250 calories of cake vs. 250 calories of fruit will have no difference on weight loss other than the cake person will want to eat sooner than the fruit person.

Carbs are no more calorie dense than protein (4 kCal/gram) fat is calorie dense (9 kCal/g).Generally speaking though a high carbohydrate diet creates less satiety than a high protein/fat diet. People tend to overeat on high carb diets and eat less on high protein/fat diets.

Also the law of conservation of energy is flawed when applied to the human system in that calories do get wasted. If you eat a standard high carb diet excess carbs will get stored as fat however if you eat a low carb high protein/fat diet your body will enter ketosis. What this means is that your body will use existing protein and fat (mostly fat) to create ketones to provide energy that typically is provided by carbs. However excess ketones are excreted in urine (conservation holds up in that they are potential energy but they are not stored in the human system) whereas on a typical high carb diet excess carbs are not excreted in urine (they are stored as fat) and if they are you had better see a doctor because you are likely becoming diabetic.

 

[beavers]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

To clarify something I sort of mentioned earlier, while she is now probabaly 60-70 lbs heavier than when we got married, it was not until the last two years, and her most recent pregnancy, that she really got this far. I would guess she is probably 30 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and the other 20-30 lbs were just gained over the previous 8-9 years.

Not too late to breast feed your 2 year old until he/she is 9. I heard that helps get rid of calories and think of the money you save on food for the kids.

Is she breastfeeding now?

Nope.

Then it's a little too late for ACT1s plan.

 

[Nipsey]

I simply disagree. You eat 2500 calories worth of pasta a day and i'll eat 2500 calories of meat a day. If we both started at 250 pounds and taking exercise out of the equation, I guarantee i lose weight and you don't (or not as much). 500 calories of carbs with no or little fiber is not the same as 500 carb free calories when it comes to weight gain/loss. It's not.

Some helpful information

There was no meaningful difference in weight loss among the participants, no matter which of four diets they were assigned to follow. The diets were based on nutritious foods with similar calories, but the ratio of fat, carbohydrates, and protein in the diets varied by group.

Don't get me wrong, in the end, cutting out some carbs is going to be helpful. Not because the carbs are "bad", but simply because the carbs are so calorie dense that people will feel hungry earlier eating those than they will other types of foods. Eating less calorie dense foods allows you to eat more which allows people to sustain their "diet" longer because they aren't as hungry. But from a pure weight loss standpoint, 250 calories of cake vs. 250 calories of fruit will have no difference on weight loss other than the cake person will want to eat sooner than the fruit person.

On one hand you're saying that a calorie is a calorie and on the other you're saying that they're not. I'm saying they're not and not only because you want to eat more when consuming certain types of calories. You're over simplify the deal in one paragraph, you contradict yourself in the next.

If you burn more calories than you take in, it's impossible to not lose weight. Nothing magical about it.

Sure, different styles of eating and diets will affect how your body metabolizes food

<>

We can go back and forth on this all day and I'm not really interested in doing so.

My initial post in response to your claim that it's the "carbs" that are doing it was stating that it's not the "carbs" that are bad. It's simply all the calories from the carbs. We're saying the same thing, just a little differently. I've lost weight eating mostly carbs. I had to significantly cut down what I ate, but it's very possible to lose weight while still eating a lot of carbs. It's just more difficult to do.

The point I was trying to get at is that there isn't a single "right" diet method for every single person. Any diet method CAN be successful, but some simply don't work well for people because they can't adhere to it well. And the goal of most every diet plan is to reduce caloric intake. If you increase protein intake and decrease carb intake, the protein will make you more full and you won't take in as much calorie dense food. Others will advocate cutting out fat. Still others talk about good carbs vs. bad carbs. The reason they all are able to work is because, if you follow them and keep the calories down, you'll lose weight. How you get there is up to you. Simply stating that carbs are "bad" is false. It's very possible to lose weight while still eating carbs. It may not have worked for you, but it has worked for others.

So yes, my statement is somewhat of an oversimplication. Yes, I know that there are some slight differences in how 2500 calories of protein is metabolized vs. 2500 calories of carbs. And yes, it's not a static issue either because as you decrease caloric intake, your body will reset it's basal expenditure rate and run "more efficiently", thus decreasing that difference between what you take in and what you burn. That's why you have to continue to readjust and why it's harder to keep losing weight as it goes on. But if you're aware of this, take it slowly, do some exercise (to burn more calories), and eat in moderation, weight loss can be done by following the simple concept of take in less than what you use. It's the basis of ANY diet system. There isn't a diet method in the world that will allow you to lose weight if you're taking in more calories than you burn. Not a single one. What diet methods are aiming to do is allow you to keep those calories down without starving yourself and while still getting in the proper nutrients that your body needs. This is also why lots of diets fail because they simply aren't sustainable long-term if you simply "cut out carbs" or "avoid the fat" or anything else drastic.

I really don't care to go back and forth on it any longer because I get where you're coming from and it's useful information for the most part. My advice for his wife, who has since struggled to lose weight with various diets, is to find one that fits what she likes to eat well and count calories. If she does that and adheres to it, she will lose weight. And if she can make it a lifestyle change and learn portion control, then she can sustain that long-term. For her, it may involve eating carbs and that's ok. That's all I'm trying to say.

Fair enough.

 

[Invaded?]

If there is anyone here that has been successful in planning healthy meals for a large family I would appreciate a PM.

 

[Chaka]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

I am guessing that she snacks during the weekdays when invaded? is not around. It is pretty standard behavior.

 

[Nipsey]

I simply disagree. You eat 2500 calories worth of pasta a day and i'll eat 2500 calories of meat a day. If we both started at 250 pounds and taking exercise out of the equation, I guarantee i lose weight and you don't (or not as much). 500 calories of carbs with no or little fiber is not the same as 500 carb free calories when it comes to weight gain/loss. It's not.

Some helpful information

There was no meaningful difference in weight loss among the participants, no matter which of four diets they were assigned to follow. The diets were based on nutritious foods with similar calories, but the ratio of fat, carbohydrates, and protein in the diets varied by group.

Don't get me wrong, in the end, cutting out some carbs is going to be helpful. Not because the carbs are "bad", but simply because the carbs are so calorie dense that people will feel hungry earlier eating those than they will other types of foods. Eating less calorie dense foods allows you to eat more which allows people to sustain their "diet" longer because they aren't as hungry. But from a pure weight loss standpoint, 250 calories of cake vs. 250 calories of fruit will have no difference on weight loss other than the cake person will want to eat sooner than the fruit person.

Carbs are no more calorie dense than protein (4 kCal/gram) fat is calorie dense (9 kCal/g).Generally speaking though a high carbohydrate diet creates less satiety than a high protein/fat diet. People tend to overeat on high carb diets and eat less on high protein/fat diets.

Also the law of conservation of energy is flawed when applied to the human system in that calories do get wasted. If you eat a standard high carb diet excess carbs will get stored as fat however if you eat a low carb high protein/fat diet your body will enter ketosis. What this means is that your body will use existing protein and fat (mostly fat) to create ketones to provide energy that typically is provided by carbs. However excess ketones are excreted in urine (conservation holds up in that they are potential energy but they are not stored in the human system) whereas on a typical high carb diet excess carbs are not excreted in urine (they are stored as fat) and if they are you had better see a doctor because you are likely becoming diabetic.

You guys are talking about what happens in between the light switch and the lamp. I'm just saying flick this switch and that light goes on.

 

[General Malaise]

Offer her a new husband.

It does seem as though the only real power a person has to try to change their spouse is to make a sincere threat to get a divorce. I'm just not willing to do that, though.

I was just joking, GB. There is no easy answer here for anybody. Weight loss is a real struggle for many people. My mother has dealt with it most of her adult life and I've watched her spend countless thousands of dollars over the years on various diets. She'll succeed and then put it back on, which depresses her. It's a bummer watching somebody you love go through this, especially when they get down on themselves.

Yeah, I knew it was shtick but there's a bit of truth in there too. [icon] said at the beginning of the thread that if his girlfriend gained a lot of weight and wouldn't lose it, he would break up with her. I think a lot of other guys are the same way. That's a pretty big motivator for a married woman -- lose the weight or have your marriage fall apart. There's nothing I can do that would be anywhere near as motivating.

I would think that threat would backfire in a big way. Knowing that you've got one foot out of the door with the second ready to follow if she fails is a terrible burden to have to carry and if she deals with stress by eating, I can only imagine what this would do.I admire the spouses who stick with their marriage through thick and thin...terrible pun not intentional.

 

[belljr]

Serious question - has she had her thyroid checked? I'm not saying she doesn't need a change could be snacking etc but my wife went undiagnosed for awhile and had to get iodine treatment. She's on medication now and while she is not grossly overweight 10-15 pounds she constantly struggles because of it, even with medication. It takes her a while for her body to adjust

ALso don't be surprised - even no sugar stuff etc woman don't need a whole lot of claories to maintain

 

[Chaka]

If there is anyone here that has been successful in planning healthy meals for a large family I would appreciate a PM.

Two words: Big ### Salad.

 

[Chaka]

I simply disagree. You eat 2500 calories worth of pasta a day and i'll eat 2500 calories of meat a day. If we both started at 250 pounds and taking exercise out of the equation, I guarantee i lose weight and you don't (or not as much). 500 calories of carbs with no or little fiber is not the same as 500 carb free calories when it comes to weight gain/loss. It's not.

Some helpful information

There was no meaningful difference in weight loss among the participants, no matter which of four diets they were assigned to follow. The diets were based on nutritious foods with similar calories, but the ratio of fat, carbohydrates, and protein in the diets varied by group.

Don't get me wrong, in the end, cutting out some carbs is going to be helpful. Not because the carbs are "bad", but simply because the carbs are so calorie dense that people will feel hungry earlier eating those than they will other types of foods. Eating less calorie dense foods allows you to eat more which allows people to sustain their "diet" longer because they aren't as hungry. But from a pure weight loss standpoint, 250 calories of cake vs. 250 calories of fruit will have no difference on weight loss other than the cake person will want to eat sooner than the fruit person.

Carbs are no more calorie dense than protein (4 kCal/gram) fat is calorie dense (9 kCal/g).Generally speaking though a high carbohydrate diet creates less satiety than a high protein/fat diet. People tend to overeat on high carb diets and eat less on high protein/fat diets.

Also the law of conservation of energy is flawed when applied to the human system in that calories do get wasted. If you eat a standard high carb diet excess carbs will get stored as fat however if you eat a low carb high protein/fat diet your body will enter ketosis. What this means is that your body will use existing protein and fat (mostly fat) to create ketones to provide energy that typically is provided by carbs. However excess ketones are excreted in urine (conservation holds up in that they are potential energy but they are not stored in the human system) whereas on a typical high carb diet excess carbs are not excreted in urine (they are stored as fat) and if they are you had better see a doctor because you are likely becoming diabetic.

You guys are talking about what happens in between the light switch and the lamp. I'm just saying flick this switch and that light goes on.

Sure, but I'm telling you why you are right.

 

[Nipsey]

I simply disagree. You eat 2500 calories worth of pasta a day and i'll eat 2500 calories of meat a day. If we both started at 250 pounds and taking exercise out of the equation, I guarantee i lose weight and you don't (or not as much). 500 calories of carbs with no or little fiber is not the same as 500 carb free calories when it comes to weight gain/loss. It's not.

Some helpful information

There was no meaningful difference in weight loss among the participants, no matter which of four diets they were assigned to follow. The diets were based on nutritious foods with similar calories, but the ratio of fat, carbohydrates, and protein in the diets varied by group.

Don't get me wrong, in the end, cutting out some carbs is going to be helpful. Not because the carbs are "bad", but simply because the carbs are so calorie dense that people will feel hungry earlier eating those than they will other types of foods. Eating less calorie dense foods allows you to eat more which allows people to sustain their "diet" longer because they aren't as hungry. But from a pure weight loss standpoint, 250 calories of cake vs. 250 calories of fruit will have no difference on weight loss other than the cake person will want to eat sooner than the fruit person.

Carbs are no more calorie dense than protein (4 kCal/gram) fat is calorie dense (9 kCal/g).Generally speaking though a high carbohydrate diet creates less satiety than a high protein/fat diet. People tend to overeat on high carb diets and eat less on high protein/fat diets.

Also the law of conservation of energy is flawed when applied to the human system in that calories do get wasted. If you eat a standard high carb diet excess carbs will get stored as fat however if you eat a low carb high protein/fat diet your body will enter ketosis. What this means is that your body will use existing protein and fat (mostly fat) to create ketones to provide energy that typically is provided by carbs. However excess ketones are excreted in urine (conservation holds up in that they are potential energy but they are not stored in the human system) whereas on a typical high carb diet excess carbs are not excreted in urine (they are stored as fat) and if they are you had better see a doctor because you are likely becoming diabetic.

You guys are talking about what happens in between the light switch and the lamp. I'm just saying flick this switch and that light goes on.

Sure, but I'm telling you why you are right.

I hear you. We're all just civilians here is what I'm saying.

 

[ATC1]

I still want to know what the wife is eating. It's one thing to eat 100 turkey sandwiches per day and be 60-70lbs overweight. It's quite another to be eating a grand slam breakfast, a couple of big macs, some ding dongs, and a quart of ice cream every day.So which is it? And what is she eating exactly?

She's not a gross over-eater.Typical day might be:- some cereal (non-sugary), toast, or fruit for breakfast- sandwich for lunch, maybe with some chips or something- dinners vary greatly... mostly some combination of a meat/veggie/carb... we probably eat more frozen stuff than we should (those packages of veggies with a sauce, etc.)I don't see her snack a lot when I'm home on the weekends, but I don't know about during the week. We don't keep boxes of ding dongs, etc. in the house. Most "junk food" we have is popcorn or cheese puffs that the kids eat, maybe some cookies. Lately she has given up regular and diet soda completely. She bought some of the naturally flavored sodas you find in places like Whole Foods though... not sure how good/bad those are. As far as I know she doesn't eat fast food during the week. If she does it's something like a grilled chicken sandwich and fries from Chic-fil-a. We probably go out once every weekend for pizza or a burrito place or something.

Unless she is a huge drinker (soda, juice, starbucks, beer, wine, hard stuff, etc) this does not add up. Even with a sedentary life style no one gains that much weight from reasonable meals....I would bet she is constantly snacking on something.....

To clarify something I sort of mentioned earlier, while she is now probabaly 60-70 lbs heavier than when we got married, it was not until the last two years, and her most recent pregnancy, that she really got this far. I would guess she is probably 30 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and the other 20-30 lbs were just gained over the previous 8-9 years.

Not too late to breast feed your 2 year old until he/she is 9. I heard that helps get rid of calories and think of the money you save on food for the kids.

Is she breastfeeding now?

Nope.

Then it's a little too late for ACT1s plan.

Getting preggers again down?

 

[gianmarco]

If there is anyone here that has been successful in planning healthy meals for a large family I would appreciate a PM.

When I worked on losing some weight for a couple months, doing it in conjunction with my family was probably the hardest task. For me, it was easy adhering to what I was trying to do. But when what I was trying to do was limit what was I eating, particularly during dinner time which is usually our only meal together, that made it difficult.So, the key is trying to find a middle ground.One of the best things I can recommend if you and your family members like it is fish. So many ways to make it, so tasty, so many different options, and overall, very healthy for all involved and helpful in losing weight.The second thing I would suggest is work on coming up with one or two "go-to" meals that are both healthy and pleasing to everyone that most won't get sick of. Trying to come up with something new all the time is tiring. One meal that we all enjoyed, was good for us, and was easy to make was a salmon dish with rice. During a busy week, it was not uncommon to have the same dinner 2-3 nights of the week. If you have that "go-to" meals, it can make the rest of it a little easier.FWIW, if interested, I'd be more than happy to share the recipe because it's super simple, super delicious, and super healthy.

 

[ATC1]

Serious question - has she had her thyroid checked? I'm not saying she doesn't need a change could be snacking etc but my wife went undiagnosed for awhile and had to get iodine treatment. She's on medication now and while she is not grossly overweight 10-15 pounds she constantly struggles because of it, even with medication. It takes her a while for her body to adjustALso don't be surprised - even no sugar stuff etc woman don't need a whole lot of claories to maintain

Is she always cold?

 

[Invaded?]

Getting preggers again down?

Oh God, yes. Definitely down.

 

[Invaded?]

Serious question - has she had her thyroid checked? I'm not saying she doesn't need a change could be snacking etc but my wife went undiagnosed for awhile and had to get iodine treatment. She's on medication now and while she is not grossly overweight 10-15 pounds she constantly struggles because of it, even with medication. It takes her a while for her body to adjustALso don't be surprised - even no sugar stuff etc woman don't need a whole lot of claories to maintain

Is she always cold?

No and no.I may get us both in for physicals to kick things off. Get our cholesterol, etc. checked.

 

[ATC1]

Getting preggers again down?

Oh God, yes. Definitely down.

Will power!!!

 

[Invaded?]

Getting preggers again down?

Oh God, yes. Definitely down.

Will power!!!

I still enjoy sex, I just don't want any more kids.

 

[beavers]

Getting preggers again down?

Oh God, yes. Definitely down.

Definitely not a good weight loss plan.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I suddenly understand Wrighteous Ray's desire for NYC to not only ban large sodas but to ban other junk foods as well. Much easier to put the blame elsewhere.

No advice for the OP but best of wishes that whatever advice you take from this thread ultimately gets you to a point you and the wife are both happy and healthy.

 

[Wrighteous Ray]

I suddenly understand Wrighteous Ray's desire for NYC to not only ban large sodas but to ban other junk foods as well. Much easier to put the blame elsewhere.

Yeah, gotta get them to ban a bunch of stuff where I live.

 

[Judge Smails]

If there is anyone here that has been successful in planning healthy meals for a large family I would appreciate a PM.

Seriously??Grill chicken, fish, lean beef. Buy tons of vegetables and make them different ways. Grilled zucchini or asparagus with olive oil, kosher salt/pepper and lemon on the grill? Awesome. Make good, creative salads. Make your own dressing (so easy with dijon, white wine vinegar, maybe garlic or shallots, salt, pepper, olive oil, lemon - tons of variations in any decent cookbook). Brown rice. Buy whole grain when possible, including pasta.Eliminate white flour, sugar, too much dairy. It's not complicated.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

It's not complicated.

It's may not be complicated but that doesn't mean it's easy. If you've spent your entire life with one mindset, it can be difficult and overwhelming to make sudden, drastic changes. Saying buy veggies and "make them different ways" doesn't help as much as actually listing some of those different ways. Which is what Invaded asked for.

 

[urbanhack]

If there is anyone here that has been successful in planning healthy meals for a large family I would appreciate a PM.

Seriously??Grill chicken, fish, lean beef. Buy tons of vegetables and make them different ways. Grilled zucchini or asparagus with olive oil, kosher salt/pepper and lemon on the grill? Awesome. Make good, creative salads. Make your own dressing (so easy with dijon, white wine vinegar, maybe garlic or shallots, salt, pepper, olive oil, lemon - tons of variations in any decent cookbook). Brown rice. Buy whole grain when possible, including pasta.

Eliminate white flour, sugar, MOST dairy. It's not complicated.

 

[UniAlias]

I think "counting calories" is essentially useless and usually grossly inaccurate, but if you're going to count anything start with sugar intake. In particular, liquids. I think there is a large disconnect in America in regards to soda, sweet tea, juice, etc. They do nothing for satiety and simply make people fat, yet many people just assume these drinks are a daily part of live.

There was a soda thread on FBG awhile back where people insisted they had to have something with "flavor" with their meals. I'm not sure if that's due to addiction/dependence on sugar or just a long history of bad habits that is hard to break, but it seems to be a common thing with overweight people. In my opinion the first step to weight loss for many is breaking the sugar addiction, which can be really difficult.

 

[Fullback Fro]

If there is anyone here that has been successful in planning healthy meals for a large family I would appreciate a PM.

Seriously??Grill chicken, fish, lean beef. Buy tons of vegetables and make them different ways. Grilled zucchini or asparagus with olive oil, kosher salt/pepper and lemon on the grill? Awesome. Make good, creative salads. Make your own dressing (so easy with dijon, white wine vinegar, maybe garlic or shallots, salt, pepper, olive oil, lemon - tons of variations in any decent cookbook). Brown rice. Buy whole grain when possible, including pasta.

Eliminate white flour, sugar, MOST dairy. It's not complicated.

You take away my cheeses and I fight.

 

[Fullback Fro]

I think "counting calories" is essentially useless and usually grossly inaccurate, but if you're going to count anything start with sugar intake. In particular, liquids. I think there is a large disconnect in America in regards to soda, sweet tea, juice, etc. They do nothing for satiety and simply make people fat, yet many people just assume these drinks are a daily part of live.I think there was a soda thread on FBG awhile back where people insisted they had to have something with "flavor" with their meals. I'm not sure if that's due to addiction/dependence on sugar or just a long history of bad habits that is hard to break, but it seems to be a common thing with overweight people. In my opinion the first step to weight loss for many is breaking the sugar addiction, which can be really difficult.

God Bless my soda stream. Bubbly water all day long.

 

[shadyridr]

I think "counting calories" is essentially useless and usually grossly inaccurate

wow big red X