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****Official**** depression thread (1 Viewer)

I think in another 5 years many of us are going to go back through these threads and laugh at our midlife crisises (GM, spell check?). I'm thinking of Abe's post about his business in the GMTAN, Zooks here, and my own clandestine confessions (pm me if you're curious). We seem to suck at finances, have a hard time dealing with failure, and especially have a rough time accepting how "the plan" of our twenties & early thirties didn't pan out. I think we're all, in our own separate ways, learning to deal with it.

Ever wonder if our parents went through this crap? Or are we a highly self-conscious generation? My grandfather just drank whiskey, parked his truck in snowbanks after 4 hours at the bar, and worked the same factory job for 40 years. My dad died too early to ask him. Any of you guys ask your dads about this nonsense? I'm curious what they say.

I'll hang up now and listen.

 
Wife had a miscarriage last night. She was 13 weeks pregnant. We are obviously devastated but the silver lining is at least this wasnt our first. Wife is holding up very well. I feel like sobbing like a baby but staying strong for her. I sneak a cry in every once in awhile. She had a dnc today and she was amazing. I was a nervous wreck however. The toughest part was telling our 4 yr old son that his brother or sister wasnt in mommys belly anymore and he asked if the doctor can fix the baby.

My MIL is back in the hospital with lung cancer complications and suffering from pneumonia. Everyone is doing great though and shes a strong woman. Tough times for our family.

Anyway, just venting a bit. My wife and I were putting off a vacation this year due to the upcoming money crunch but I told her we'll plan a trip TONIGHT. I think we deserve it.

 
Wife had a miscarriage last night. She was 13 weeks pregnant. We are obviously devastated but the silver lining is at least this wasnt our first. Wife is holding up very well. I feel like sobbing like a baby but staying strong for her. I sneak a cry in every once in awhile. She had a dnc today and she was amazing. I was a nervous wreck however. The toughest part was telling our 4 yr old son that his brother or sister wasnt in mommys belly anymore and he asked if the doctor can fix the baby.

My MIL is back in the hospital with lung cancer complications and suffering from pneumonia. Everyone is doing great though and shes a strong woman. Tough times for our family.

Anyway, just venting a bit. My wife and I were putting off a vacation this year due to the upcoming money crunch but I told her we'll plan a trip TONIGHT. I think we deserve it.
dude.

but big YES to the trip- you definitely deserve it.

 
Wife had a miscarriage last night. She was 13 weeks pregnant. We are obviously devastated but the silver lining is at least this wasnt our first. Wife is holding up very well. I feel like sobbing like a baby but staying strong for her. I sneak a cry in every once in awhile. She had a dnc today and she was amazing. I was a nervous wreck however. The toughest part was telling our 4 yr old son that his brother or sister wasnt in mommys belly anymore and he asked if the doctor can fix the baby.

My MIL is back in the hospital with lung cancer complications and suffering from pneumonia. Everyone is doing great though and shes a strong woman. Tough times for our family.

Anyway, just venting a bit. My wife and I were putting off a vacation this year due to the upcoming money crunch but I told her we'll plan a trip TONIGHT. I think we deserve it.
dude.

but big YES to the trip- you definitely deserve it.
:goodposting: Do the trip. I'm sorry for your loss. I think a lot of people here have been through this and could offer you help if you need it.

 
I think in another 5 years many of us are going to go back through these threads and laugh at our midlife crisises (GM, spell check?). I'm thinking of Abe's post about his business in the GMTAN, Zooks here, and my own clandestine confessions (pm me if you're curious). We seem to suck at finances, have a hard time dealing with failure, and especially have a rough time accepting how "the plan" of our twenties & early thirties didn't pan out. I think we're all, in our own separate ways, learning to deal with it. Ever wonder if our parents went through this crap? Or are we a highly self-conscious generation? My grandfather just drank whiskey, parked his truck in snowbanks after 4 hours at the bar, and worked the same factory job for 40 years. My dad died too early to ask him. Any of you guys ask your dads about this nonsense? I'm curious what they say. I'll hang up now and listen.
I think that the secret of life is that the hard stuff gets harder and the fun stuff is better the older you get. I wouldn't trade a moment of my daughter for anything I can imagine, but the hard stuff is a lot harder than when I was 24 and didn't have any real obligations. I didn't back then, but always thought I did. I'm sure in ten years the crushing weight of having enough for her college will make this seem like a breeze. And ten years after that the weight of trying to have enough for retirement will make that seem easy. I know a lot of people getting divorced, dealing with serious illness, etc. The hard stuff seems so much harder. I woke up last year on my birthday at 35 and realized I'm not a young man with lots of potential to change the world; I'm just a guy like most everyone else. I wish I had advice for the professor and for shady but I don't think I do. The way I deal with my own issues (and there are lots) is to realize (1) things could be a lot lot worse and (2) if I am improving things a little each day than that is one day I'm not going backwards. But it is hard. I'm an alcoholic. I'm broke. I gave a long line of business failures behind me that aren't a badge if honor at all because of the people I've hurt along the way. But I'm not going to curl up in a ball and cry - I have an amazing wife and daughter and a job finally where I feel affirmed professionally. I just have to improve a little each day. That would be my suggestion for anyone dealing with depression or a life crisis. Make today better than yesterday and over time it will add up. The best way out of a hole is to stop digging.
 
Wife had a miscarriage last night. She was 13 weeks pregnant. We are obviously devastated but the silver lining is at least this wasnt our first. Wife is holding up very well. I feel like sobbing like a baby but staying strong for her. I sneak a cry in every once in awhile. She had a dnc today and she was amazing. I was a nervous wreck however. The toughest part was telling our 4 yr old son that his brother or sister wasnt in mommys belly anymore and he asked if the doctor can fix the baby.My MIL is back in the hospital with lung cancer complications and suffering from pneumonia. Everyone is doing great though and shes a strong woman. Tough times for our family.Anyway, just venting a bit. My wife and I were putting off a vacation this year due to the upcoming money crunch but I told her we'll plan a trip TONIGHT. I think we deserve it.
:cry: but great idea on the vacation. Even something small, but do it.
 
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Both cars towed within 5 days, oven crapped out, wife having surgery on Thursday, and credit so bad I can't even get a $7500 auto loan.

Happy Holidays

:topcat: :(

 
Both cars towed within 5 days, oven crapped out, wife having surgery on Thursday, and credit so bad I can't even get a $7500 auto loan.

Happy Holidays

:topcat: :(
Sounds like you need a 'I Closed Down Wolski's' trip.

The cars, oven, and loan are small potatoes compared to your wife's health. Best wishes to her, and both of you have some Happy Holidays.

 
Sorry man :(

i know It doesnt seem like it, but it will get better.
Both cars towed within 5 days, oven crapped out, wife having surgery on Thursday, and credit so bad I can't even get a $7500 auto loan.

Happy Holidays

:topcat: :(
Sounds like you need a 'I Closed Down Wolski's' trip.

The cars, oven, and loan are small potatoes compared to your wife's health. Best wishes to her, and both of you have some Happy Holidays.
Thanks a ton.

I'll fight out of this, but right now it kind of sucks.

Oh and I might be the only Milwaukeean that has never been to Wolski's :bag:

 
Both cars towed within 5 days, oven crapped out, wife having surgery on Thursday, and credit so bad I can't even get a $7500 auto loan.

Happy Holidays

:topcat: :(
Sounds like you need a 'I Closed Down Wolski's' trip.

The cars, oven, and loan are small potatoes compared to your wife's health. Best wishes to her, and both of you have some Happy Holidays.
Had the exact same thoughts... minus the Wolski stuff.

money issues can really be the suck- but health- woof. Best of luck to you and your wife.

 
Both cars towed within 5 days, oven crapped out, wife having surgery on Thursday, and credit so bad I can't even get a $7500 auto loan.

Happy Holidays

:topcat: :(
Sounds like you need a 'I Closed Down Wolski's' trip.

The cars, oven, and loan are small potatoes compared to your wife's health. Best wishes to her, and both of you have some Happy Holidays.
Had the exact same thoughts... minus the Wolski stuff.

money issues can really be the suck- but health- woof. Best of luck to you and your wife.
Thank you

 
Between work, my wife, my kids and polar vortexes, I feel like life is out to get me. It really is a helluva a thing when you realize that most of the best of your life is behind you and it is extremely unlikely it will be as good as it once was.

ETA

And the Pinewood Derby. ####### sadist.

 
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Between work, my wife, my kids and polar vortexes, I feel like life is out to get me. It really is a helluva a thing when you realize that most of the best of your life is behind you and it is extremely unlikely it will be as good as it once was.

ETA

And the Pinewood Derby. ####### sadist.
You got kids.

You're still alive.

The Cardinals are still pretty decent.

Gambling is still awesome.

So is booze.

So is wimmen.

Keep your head up, bud.

 
Between work, my wife, my kids and polar vortexes, I feel like life is out to get me. It really is a helluva a thing when you realize that most of the best of your life is behind you and it is extremely unlikely it will be as good as it once was.

ETA

And the Pinewood Derby. ####### sadist.
You got kids.

You're still alive.

The Cardinals are still pretty decent.

Gambling is still awesome.

So is booze.

So is wimmen.

Keep your head up, bud.
OTOH

 
Not to diminish the sad news people are getting- but seems like it's more officially "depressing" than "depression". I only say this because I am in the latter camp and struggling.
Greetings depression thread. What floppo said above is me. Many of you have relayed stories in here that are real gut punches. Hell my best ifriend lost his dad about 3 weeks ago so just typing this feels selfish. I hope everyone is doing OK these days. Sorry to hear about your friend YSR. I have battled depression and OCD on and off for as long as I can remember. I have been on meds for OCD for about 12 or so years now and found a steady state where those symptoms are controlled. Everyone feels kind of meh from time to time and that definitely includes me. But for the past month, I have felt a deeper more consistent low than I remember feeling at any point in the last 10 years, easy. All of the "external"(?) things are great. I have a loving wife, 2 beautiful daughters, a steady job, family and extended family are healthy, etc. I have an appt with a psychiatrist next week to visit my medication/dosage but more importantly just to discuss what I am feeling. Along these lines, does anyone have a good book on depression they would recommend? A website? Im willing to listen to anything. My wife, my kids, and even myself deserve better than what I am giving right now. Thank you for listening.
Damn. Feeling pretty damn low for several days now. I think I may seek out some counseling. Like others have said in this thread, even just going through those steps of looking stuff up, making the calls, finding someone to talk to can feel like a struggle.

Maybe just typing that out here can get me started.

Hope everyone is hanging in.

 
Between work, my wife, my kids and polar vortexes, I feel like life is out to get me. It really is a helluva a thing when you realize that most of the best of your life is behind you and it is extremely unlikely it will be as good as it once was.

ETA

And the Pinewood Derby. ####### sadist.
You got kids.

You're still alive.

The Cardinals are still pretty decent.

Gambling is still awesome.

So is booze.

So is wimmen.

Keep your head up, bud.
OTOH
:lmao:

 
Not to diminish the sad news people are getting- but seems like it's more officially "depressing" than "depression". I only say this because I am in the latter camp and struggling.
Greetings depression thread. What floppo said above is me. Many of you have relayed stories in here that are real gut punches. Hell my best ifriend lost his dad about 3 weeks ago so just typing this feels selfish. I hope everyone is doing OK these days. Sorry to hear about your friend YSR. I have battled depression and OCD on and off for as long as I can remember. I have been on meds for OCD for about 12 or so years now and found a steady state where those symptoms are controlled. Everyone feels kind of meh from time to time and that definitely includes me. But for the past month, I have felt a deeper more consistent low than I remember feeling at any point in the last 10 years, easy. All of the "external"(?) things are great. I have a loving wife, 2 beautiful daughters, a steady job, family and extended family are healthy, etc. I have an appt with a psychiatrist next week to visit my medication/dosage but more importantly just to discuss what I am feeling. Along these lines, does anyone have a good book on depression they would recommend? A website? Im willing to listen to anything. My wife, my kids, and even myself deserve better than what I am giving right now. Thank you for listening.
Damn. Feeling pretty damn low for several days now. I think I may seek out some counseling. Like others have said in this thread, even just going through those steps of looking stuff up, making the calls, finding someone to talk to can feel like a struggle.

Maybe just typing that out here can get me started.

Hope everyone is hanging in.
My thinking as well, GB. You hang in there too my brother.

 
Between work, my wife, my kids and polar vortexes, I feel like life is out to get me. It really is a helluva a thing when you realize that most of the best of your life is behind you and it is extremely unlikely it will be as good as it once was.

ETA

And the Pinewood Derby. ####### sadist.
You got kids. This is what keeps me going. Really wish they didn't get in trouble doing things that most other kids don't do though. In this PC age, it's worrying.

You're still alive. Yeah

The Cardinals are still pretty decent. Doesn't really matter in the big picture.

Gambling is still awesome. Really can't any more

So is booze. I've cut down and probably need to cut down even more

So is wimmen. No comment.

Keep your head up, bud.
Thanks GBEomman.

 
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Just got word that my long time friend, with whom I've worked with for 25 years or so, her cancer has taken a turn for the worse. This is the kind of #### I'm talking about it. It's really hard to deal with. Man.

 
Not to diminish the sad news people are getting- but seems like it's more officially "depressing" than "depression". I only say this because I am in the latter camp and struggling.
Greetings depression thread. What floppo said above is me. Many of you have relayed stories in here that are real gut punches. Hell my best ifriend lost his dad about 3 weeks ago so just typing this feels selfish. I hope everyone is doing OK these days. Sorry to hear about your friend YSR. I have battled depression and OCD on and off for as long as I can remember. I have been on meds for OCD for about 12 or so years now and found a steady state where those symptoms are controlled. Everyone feels kind of meh from time to time and that definitely includes me. But for the past month, I have felt a deeper more consistent low than I remember feeling at any point in the last 10 years, easy. All of the "external"(?) things are great. I have a loving wife, 2 beautiful daughters, a steady job, family and extended family are healthy, etc. I have an appt with a psychiatrist next week to visit my medication/dosage but more importantly just to discuss what I am feeling. Along these lines, does anyone have a good book on depression they would recommend? A website? Im willing to listen to anything. My wife, my kids, and even myself deserve better than what I am giving right now. Thank you for listening.
Damn. Feeling pretty damn low for several days now. I think I may seek out some counseling. Like others have said in this thread, even just going through those steps of looking stuff up, making the calls, finding someone to talk to can feel like a struggle.

Maybe just typing that out here can get me started.

Hope everyone is hanging in.
My thinking as well, GB. You hang in there too my brother.
goodposting.

Sorry to hear you're back in it, Buck. head up and keep moving yourself towards better, no matter how small the steps seem.

 
Just got word that my long time friend, with whom I've worked with for 25 years or so, her cancer has taken a turn for the worse. This is the kind of #### I'm talking about it. It's really hard to deal with. Man.
Found out my friend has two tumors in her liver and they are growing. She has several others in her body. I would like the punch the mother ####### doctor in the face for saying "you could be around for 10, 20 years or maybe not that long". That' like saying "if you buy a lottery ticket, you could be a millionaire, or you might lose".

Plus my youngest kid has been getting in trouble in school now. So GD depressing. Just walked 8 miles in 4 degree weather and didn't want to go home.

ETA

Finally got to the office at 4:45 this afternoon to find out she has a blood clot too. :(

 
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Just got word that my long time friend, with whom I've worked with for 25 years or so, her cancer has taken a turn for the worse. This is the kind of #### I'm talking about it. It's really hard to deal with. Man.
Found out my friend has two tumors in her liver and they are growing. She has several others in her body. I would like the punch the mother ####### doctor in the face for saying "you could be around for 10, 20 years or maybe not that long". That' like saying "if you buy a lottery ticket, you could be a millionaire, or you might lose".

Plus my youngest kid has been getting in trouble in school now. So GD depressing. Just walked 8 miles in 4 degree weather and didn't want to go home.

ETA

Finally got to the office at 4:45 this afternoon to find out she has a blood clot too. :(
Good lord. T&P, GB.

 
Just got word that my long time friend, with whom I've worked with for 25 years or so, her cancer has taken a turn for the worse. This is the kind of #### I'm talking about it. It's really hard to deal with. Man.
Found out my friend has two tumors in her liver and they are growing. She has several others in her body. I would like the punch the mother ####### doctor in the face for saying "you could be around for 10, 20 years or maybe not that long". That' like saying "if you buy a lottery ticket, you could be a millionaire, or you might lose".

Plus my youngest kid has been getting in trouble in school now. So GD depressing. Just walked 8 miles in 4 degree weather and didn't want to go home.

ETA

Finally got to the office at 4:45 this afternoon to find out she has a blood clot too. :(
Good lord. T&P, GB.
Thanks GB. We've been friends since I was 17. She has 10 years on me but still young. She is a great person has been so involved in helping the poor her whole life. She's better than I ever could be.

ETA

and we have worked together the last 20+ years. She knows me better than most people. She is one of the few people in my life that knows just about everything about me. Everything I've ever done. She knows. The number of people I truly trust are very few. She is one of them. You are too.

 
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Just got word that my long time friend, with whom I've worked with for 25 years or so, her cancer has taken a turn for the worse. This is the kind of #### I'm talking about it. It's really hard to deal with. Man.
Found out my friend has two tumors in her liver and they are growing. She has several others in her body. I would like the punch the mother ####### doctor in the face for saying "you could be around for 10, 20 years or maybe not that long". That' like saying "if you buy a lottery ticket, you could be a millionaire, or you might lose".

Plus my youngest kid has been getting in trouble in school now. So GD depressing. Just walked 8 miles in 4 degree weather and didn't want to go home.

ETA

Finally got to the office at 4:45 this afternoon to find out she has a blood clot too. :(
Good lord. T&P, GB.
This. TPW GB.

 
St. Louis Bob said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Just got word that my long time friend, with whom I've worked with for 25 years or so, her cancer has taken a turn for the worse. This is the kind of #### I'm talking about it. It's really hard to deal with. Man.
Found out my friend has two tumors in her liver and they are growing. She has several others in her body. I would like the punch the mother ####### doctor in the face for saying "you could be around for 10, 20 years or maybe not that long". That' like saying "if you buy a lottery ticket, you could be a millionaire, or you might lose".

Plus my youngest kid has been getting in trouble in school now. So GD depressing. Just walked 8 miles in 4 degree weather and didn't want to go home.

ETA

Finally got to the office at 4:45 this afternoon to find out she has a blood clot too. :(
Good lord. T&P, GB.
Thanks GB. We've been friends since I was 17. She has 10 years on me but still young. She is a great person has been so involved in helping the poor her whole life. She's better than I ever could be.

ETA

and we have worked together the last 20+ years. She knows me better than most people. She is one of the few people in my life that knows just about everything about me. Everything I've ever done. She knows. The number of people I truly trust are very few. She is one of them. You are too.
Really sorry to hear Bob, That really sucks.

 
First call today was yet another large client is going away. They let almost everybody (150 or so jobs gone) go this morning and it looks like they won't make it.

Really ####### cool economy. :(

 
:kicksrock:

I'm in it. This time mostly financial related... but it's kicking the progress-limiting thing into high gear- it all starts to feed on eachother, affecting everything. Must. Fight. Back. Trying to initiate Operation Baby-Steps.

#### me.

 
I would like to thank United Healthcare for denying my appeal that they continue to cover one of son's medicines. Apparently all we have to do is experiment with other "like medications" and see what it does to him. According to the nurse at his pediatricians office with a lot of experience with this, if it completely ####s him up, then they'll cover it. We tried about 8 different combinations of "like medications" before finding this particular one that worked from him.

So now we get to use him as a lab rat so they can make some more money. I hope the people that made this decision has something really terrible happen to them. ####### #######s.

 
:hot:

sorry to hear, SLB
Thanks GB. I wrote the following letter somehow thinking that anybody with a heart and some sense would accept my appeal.

Appeals Department

United Healthcare

P.O. Box xxxxx

Atlanta, GA xxxxxxxxx

To whom it may concern:

I am writing, begging, that you will reconsider covering Intuniv for my oldest son, Calvin. Calvin is ten years old and was diagnosed with high functioning Autism, (Asperbergers), as well as severe ADHD when he was six years old. My wife Mrs. SLB and I first realized that there was something wrong when he was three. He could not sleep at night. We went to sleep specialists, we read books, we tried everything to get him to be able to sleep. We were told that he was just being defiant and we needed to stand our ground on the rules of bed time. Sometimes we were successful, sometimes we were not.

Shortly thereafter, we noticed other behavior that seemed different. Being parents for the first time everything is new so we weren’t quite sure what was normal and what was abnormal. It was very clear however that Calvin was extremely intelligent. At four years old he learned Excel quick commands and stole passwords to login to our computer by watching. At the same time he was almost terrified to be around other children and only wanted to be in the company of adults.

We were told by his pediatrician that he was too young to test for Autism but that is what she expected may be the issue. We were told about the medications available but his mother, a RN, and myself were vehemently against it. So we read books. We tried every kind of technique available to help Calvin. It seemed to work some of the time but it was apparent that it wasn’t a complete solution. He was a sad little boy. It still breaks my heart the day I talked to his teacher when he was in the first grade and how she told me he always ate lunch by himself. He always sat out on the playground, alone, every day.

As if the lack of sleep and the isolation wasn’t enough, he also had uncontrollable temper tantrums. This wonderful, sweet child, beloved by the teachers and principal at his school would just “go off”. He tipped his desk over one day. He threw a book a month later. I had to leave work early countless amounts of times to pick Calvin up from school early because of episodes like this. It was at the end of his first grade school year that we were told he wouldn’t be able to attend St. Catholic School any longer because they didn’t have trained personnel to properly help him.

Calvin wasn’t aware of his situation at school and his mother and I weren’t sure what we were going to do to help him ourselves. Then one Saturday something happened that I will never forget. He came crying his eyes out to me and said “daddy, please help me. I don’t like feeling this way. You have to help me. Please help me daddy”. Just writing those words is making me cry right now. So we called his doctor and she prescribed medication. I don’t remember exactly what because we tried so many different varieties and dosages for the next year or so.

We knew that medication wasn’t going to be enough though. He needed a school with some special people to help him. We scoured the Internet reading reviews of local schools and how they helped children like Calvin. Of course, the best schools were in districts that we couldn’t afford to move to. So we made the hard decision and moved 32 miles away to (a town with a population of 14,0000), so he could attend (School) Elementary. Far away from our families and friends that we are so close to and had grown accustomed to seeing on almost a daily basis. It was, and still is, extremely difficult as all of us miss seeing the ones we love.

After more than a year of trial and error, we discovered that when Calvin took (drug A) in the morning and (drug B) in the afternoon, it helped him focus and sleep at night. The teachers and principal at (School) also made a profound difference in his life for which I will forever be grateful. Calvin made the honor roll 7 out of 8 quarters in the 3rd and 4th grades once with straight A’s. He was even overwhelmingly elected to Student Council by his classmates.

We’re not out of the woods though. He still has anxiety issues about being around other children at times,but he is happy. Every day he learns a little bit more about himself and how to cope with his situation. So I’m begging you to please not take away his (drug B). The offered substitution, (drug C), isn’t the same thing. Instead of taking one (drug B) in the afternoon, he’ll have to take a lesser dosage of (drug C) two, to possibly four, times a day. His doctor isn’t sure how this will affect him. Even now, with the medication as is, there are some nights where he can’t sleep. He will literally be up all night long.

Thank you for your consideration and please feel free to contact me at 314-xxx-xxxx or at bob@xxxxxxxx.

Sincerely,

SLB
 
A LOT of little stuff has depressing me lately. Like my son is growing up so fast and going to kindergarten in Sept. Like he is an only child and is it too late to have another one. Like do I WANT another one. Like I just got back from vacation and have nothing else to look forward to all summer. #### like that. Then I get depressed that stupid stuff like that depresses me so much.

 
A LOT of little stuff has depressing me lately. Like my son is growing up so fast and going to kindergarten in Sept. Like he is an only child and is it too late to have another one. Like do I WANT another one. Like I just got back from vacation and have nothing else to look forward to all summer. #### like that. Then I get depressed that stupid stuff like that depresses me so much.
Man, I am in this boat BIG TIME. The boys didn't get out of school until June 13, and have to go back August 13th. Believe me, you're not alone.

 
A LOT of little stuff has depressing me lately. Like my son is growing up so fast and going to kindergarten in Sept. Like he is an only child and is it too late to have another one. Like do I WANT another one. Like I just got back from vacation and have nothing else to look forward to all summer. #### like that. Then I get depressed that stupid stuff like that depresses me so much.
If little stuff is getting me down, I try to look at the big things that are going well and focus on them. Things like health of my family, my marriage, finances, etc.....whatever is going well for you, be grateful. Don't let the small stuff get you down.

 
Oh and my son has a TON of anxiety too. Take him about two hours to warm up to new people (then hes fine). Hes TERRIFIED of bugs. He had a panic attack in the pool on our summer vacation when a fly landed on him. (Hes so cute he tells me he thought it was a tattoo at first on his arm and he was like "Cool" until he realized it was a fly). Hes constantly asking me if there are any bugs anywhere he goes. Hes scared of dogs too because hes allergic.

 
A LOT of little stuff has depressing me lately. Like my son is growing up so fast and going to kindergarten in Sept. Like he is an only child and is it too late to have another one. Like do I WANT another one. Like I just got back from vacation and have nothing else to look forward to all summer. #### like that. Then I get depressed that stupid stuff like that depresses me so much.
If little stuff is getting me down, I try to look at the big things that are going well and focus on them. Things like health of my family, my marriage, finances, etc.....whatever is going well for you, be grateful. Don't let the small stuff get you down.
Thats just the thing. All that stuff couldnt be better. My family is great, everyone is healthy and happy, my job is great, my marriage is great, I make decent money. But Im never truly happy. All I do is focus on the things that depress me. I got issues lol. I try to talk to my wife about it but she just rolls her eyes. Some people just dont understand.

 
SLB, how much is the medication that works for him? #### that ####. These ####### insurance companies are all ####### crooks.

 
Oh and my son has a TON of anxiety too. Take him about two hours to warm up to new people (then hes fine). Hes TERRIFIED of bugs. He had a panic attack in the pool on our summer vacation when a fly landed on him. (Hes so cute he tells me he thought it was a tattoo at first on his arm and he was like "Cool" until he realized it was a fly). Hes constantly asking me if there are any bugs anywhere he goes. Hes scared of dogs too because hes allergic.
FWIW, your son sounds like a #####.

no wait... I mean he sounds like every other 5 yo kid I know.

 
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Oh and my son has a TON of anxiety too. Take him about two hours to warm up to new people (then hes fine). Hes TERRIFIED of bugs. He had a panic attack in the pool on our summer vacation when a fly landed on him. (Hes so cute he tells me he thought it was a tattoo at first on his arm and he was like "Cool" until he realized it was a fly). Hes constantly asking me if there are any bugs anywhere he goes. Hes scared of dogs too because hes allergic.
FWIW, your son sounds like a #####.

no wait... I mean he sounds like every other 5 yo kid I know.
:lmao: I often wonder if its normal or he has real issues

 
Oh and my son has a TON of anxiety too. Take him about two hours to warm up to new people (then hes fine). Hes TERRIFIED of bugs. He had a panic attack in the pool on our summer vacation when a fly landed on him. (Hes so cute he tells me he thought it was a tattoo at first on his arm and he was like "Cool" until he realized it was a fly). Hes constantly asking me if there are any bugs anywhere he goes. Hes scared of dogs too because hes allergic.
FWIW, your son sounds like a #####.

no wait... I mean he sounds like every other 5 yo kid I know.
:lmao: I often wonder if its normal or he has real issues
I do the same thing with my kid... who sounds similar to yours. My guy is just a bit more shy/sensitive than most of the kids who go bombing through the playgrounds... but as he gets older, he's figuring out ways of dealing with new situations that work better for him.

but damn- it was hard not to impose my own concerns on him (why won't he just run off and play with those kids instead of hanging out with me?)

 
Jesus Christ now Im ####### more depressed reading that letter
:lmao:

Oh and my son has a TON of anxiety too. Take him about two hours to warm up to new people (then hes fine). Hes TERRIFIED of bugs. He had a panic attack in the pool on our summer vacation when a fly landed on him. (Hes so cute he tells me he thought it was a tattoo at first on his arm and he was like "Cool" until he realized it was a fly). Hes constantly asking me if there are any bugs anywhere he goes. Hes scared of dogs too because hes allergic.
From my experiences with my dozens of younger cousins, kids seem to love or hate bugs. I wouldn't look too much into it. Also :lmao: @ Floppy.

SLB, how much is the medication that works for him? #### that ####. These ####### insurance companies are all ####### crooks.
Only $280 a month out of pocket.

 
:hot:

sorry to hear, SLB
Thanks GB. I wrote the following letter somehow thinking that anybody with a heart and some sense would accept my appeal.

Appeals Department

United Healthcare

P.O. Box xxxxx

Atlanta, GA xxxxxxxxx

To whom it may concern:

I am writing, begging, that you will reconsider covering Intuniv for my oldest son, Calvin. Calvin is ten years old and was diagnosed with high functioning Autism, (Asperbergers), as well as severe ADHD when he was six years old. My wife Mrs. SLB and I first realized that there was something wrong when he was three. He could not sleep at night. We went to sleep specialists, we read books, we tried everything to get him to be able to sleep. We were told that he was just being defiant and we needed to stand our ground on the rules of bed time. Sometimes we were successful, sometimes we were not.

Shortly thereafter, we noticed other behavior that seemed different. Being parents for the first time everything is new so we weren’t quite sure what was normal and what was abnormal. It was very clear however that Calvin was extremely intelligent. At four years old he learned Excel quick commands and stole passwords to login to our computer by watching. At the same time he was almost terrified to be around other children and only wanted to be in the company of adults.

We were told by his pediatrician that he was too young to test for Autism but that is what she expected may be the issue. We were told about the medications available but his mother, a RN, and myself were vehemently against it. So we read books. We tried every kind of technique available to help Calvin. It seemed to work some of the time but it was apparent that it wasn’t a complete solution. He was a sad little boy. It still breaks my heart the day I talked to his teacher when he was in the first grade and how she told me he always ate lunch by himself. He always sat out on the playground, alone, every day.

As if the lack of sleep and the isolation wasn’t enough, he also had uncontrollable temper tantrums. This wonderful, sweet child, beloved by the teachers and principal at his school would just “go off”. He tipped his desk over one day. He threw a book a month later. I had to leave work early countless amounts of times to pick Calvin up from school early because of episodes like this. It was at the end of his first grade school year that we were told he wouldn’t be able to attend St. Catholic School any longer because they didn’t have trained personnel to properly help him.

Calvin wasn’t aware of his situation at school and his mother and I weren’t sure what we were going to do to help him ourselves. Then one Saturday something happened that I will never forget. He came crying his eyes out to me and said “daddy, please help me. I don’t like feeling this way. You have to help me. Please help me daddy”. Just writing those words is making me cry right now. So we called his doctor and she prescribed medication. I don’t remember exactly what because we tried so many different varieties and dosages for the next year or so.

We knew that medication wasn’t going to be enough though. He needed a school with some special people to help him. We scoured the Internet reading reviews of local schools and how they helped children like Calvin. Of course, the best schools were in districts that we couldn’t afford to move to. So we made the hard decision and moved 32 miles away to (a town with a population of 14,0000), so he could attend (School) Elementary. Far away from our families and friends that we are so close to and had grown accustomed to seeing on almost a daily basis. It was, and still is, extremely difficult as all of us miss seeing the ones we love.

After more than a year of trial and error, we discovered that when Calvin took (drug A) in the morning and (drug B) in the afternoon, it helped him focus and sleep at night. The teachers and principal at (School) also made a profound difference in his life for which I will forever be grateful. Calvin made the honor roll 7 out of 8 quarters in the 3rd and 4th grades once with straight A’s. He was even overwhelmingly elected to Student Council by his classmates.

We’re not out of the woods though. He still has anxiety issues about being around other children at times,but he is happy. Every day he learns a little bit more about himself and how to cope with his situation. So I’m begging you to please not take away his (drug B). The offered substitution, (drug C), isn’t the same thing. Instead of taking one (drug B) in the afternoon, he’ll have to take a lesser dosage of (drug C) two, to possibly four, times a day. His doctor isn’t sure how this will affect him. Even now, with the medication as is, there are some nights where he can’t sleep. He will literally be up all night long.

Thank you for your consideration and please feel free to contact me at 314-xxx-xxxx or at bob@xxxxxxxx.

Sincerely,

SLB
jeez, Bob. Good luck with this. I have found the key to dealing with insurance companies is to never give up. Keep being a PIA and they will give in at some point. While its important you document, also keep calling and asking for superiors.

PS I tried calling 314-999-9999 but you didn't answer you might want to fix that phone number.

 
Cal was really messed up today. He couldn't go to sleep last night and was up at the crack of dawn this morning. Sometimes he was borderline violent, which he's NEVER violent. Other times he was really needy for affection. He held my hand for our entire walk this morning. He would randomly give me long hugs.

He had no idea what my radar detector was. This would be like the average person not knowing what a television was. We've talked about it, at length, for a long, long, time a couple of years ago. This is a kid with a near photographic memory. He doesn't forget anything.

Several times today I found him just standing and staring into space. He told me he does that sometimes. No he doesn't. He was like a zombie and something or somebody else took over his body.

I hope everyone involved in making the initial decision to deny his medication and the gutless form letter sender(s) that denied my appeal all get to experience this with their child or somebody they care about. I'm so ####### filled with hatred right now.

 
Havent been feeling too good about finding work. Feeling unmotivated and scared. The driving school is doing my resume for me tomorrow and will be sending it out.

I have a couple connections through my family that may start in a month or two. I cant rely on them because they may not happen but I feel much more comfortable working for someone that knows my family because I wont expect to be treated poorly. Im scared of some place where I dont know what to expect and lose everything again because of a nervous breakdown in the future.

Been on lamictal and propanolol for nearly a year. Not sure if they are having any effect. I have had a few spats with my girl and they didnt effect me very much emotionally where as in the past things like that hurt me deeply. Dont know if its the meds or im just becoming more mature towards relatipnships after so many lousy ones. I have had a few emotional breakdowns that came out of tje blue when things were going fine between us.

Seeing my doc on monday. Will talk to her about all these things. Maybe finally try a new medication because im completely unmotivated and/or just very scared. Otherwise my depression and anxiety has been pretty mild but I dont know if its the meds or me. I usually have long stretches of feeling good and then will have a really horrible week or two.

 
gl, MC.

looking for work is nerve-racking stuff, even without the depression/anxiety... with it- woof. I can completely empathize. But only way to know if one job or another will work is to try and get the job... then you have to make it work. (easier said than done with the dep/anxiety shackling you).

best of luck- I know this, and other threads in here like it, have kept me honest and on target with myself.

 

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