Parents of 10yo Girl Not Happy With Their Soccer Coach--Your Thoughts? (1 Viewer)

[flapgreen]

Should send Chet to seduce wife.

 

[Mario Kart]

Mom needs to deal with it.

 

[krista4]

This is a rec league 10-yo girls' soccer team. The mother of the girl in question came up to the coach 5 minutes into the second half and demanded that her daughter be taken out of goal. The coach refused and the following ensued. I didn't witness the conversation

From the father:

Coach xxxxxxxx, I wanted to talk to you about tonight's game. You put xxxxx in goal tonight and I'm good with that, I respect that you do this job for free and for the girls. I would never try to tell you how to coach but my wife approached you because xxxxx was visibly upset and she was concerned. See soccer is SUPPOSED to be fun and at that point it was a nightmare for her.

I believe you're right to put every girl in at goal BUT what I can not believe is how you spoke to my wife. It was rude and unacceptable. You should be ashamed of yourself and I think you owe her an apology. She did what most other parents would have done and she did not disrespect you. xxxxx tries hard for you and the team and I believe she deserves better.

Coach's response:

Unfortunately, I am not afforded that luxury even though I am also a parent of a player.
If I felt that she needed to be moved out of goal (because she had lost her confidence), then I would have done so and put my own daughter there.

I can assure you when my daughter badly sprained her ankle in soccer a few seasons ago, she had absolutely no fun.

Why do people keep asking if the coach had a kid on the team?

 

[Craig_MiamiFL]

Nice job coach.

Kudos to him for putting up with this #### for free.

 

[carverlee]

Coach needs to adopt 'because I said so' approach.

I've coached rec and select softball for 10 years. Parents need to be kept in check way more than the kids. To attention seeking parents, an 8 paragraph response, regardless of content, is just fuel.

 

[Ilov80s]

The coach's response was too prolix, makes me wonder why he feels the need to explain so much for what is a pretty simple situation.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Remember that finishing move from Mortal Kombat when Scorpion rips off the opponents head and the spine is still dangling? That's what I thought of when I read the coach's email.

Coach wins

FATALITY

 

[Tom Skerritt]

The coach's response was too prolix, makes me wonder why he feels the need to explain so much for what is a pretty simple situation.

This was my thought too. Coach is absolutely in the right. But feeling the need to be so explanatory reduces his strength IMO. I hate parents in youth sports. They are the some of the worst.

 

[Ilov80s]

The coach's response was too prolix, makes me wonder why he feels the need to explain so much for what is a pretty simple situation.

This was my thought too. Coach is absolutely in the right. But feeling the need to be so explanatory reduces his strength IMO. I hate parents in youth sports. They are the some of the worst.

He probably is venting a bit himself, but it makes him seem like he feels guilty or unsure of his own decisions. It's an unpaid coaching position, there isn't a need to defend himself so much.

 

[NCCommish]

As an AD I would have preferred to handle the situation instead of the coach. However I would have backed him on his decision. By me buffering though I can let both sides blow off some steam and then we can move on.

AD for 10yo girls soccer.

Do you think leagues run themselves? I AD'd a league for several years and we had players as young as 4 and as old as 16. We had football, baseball, softball and basketball. Glad you find it humorous that someone is actually in charge. I live to entertain.

I just found it humorous that you didn't comment on what actually happened, but what you'd PREFER to have happened. The reality is the woman DIDN'T approach the "AD", she approached the coach. She wanted something done NOW. She wanted her child removed from the position she was being asked to play. So I don't see the value in your post. It's very much a Tim look at me post as opposed to a post commenting on what actually happened.

NCC hasn't been grounded in the real world for a long time now. Sad really. Guy just doesn't want to live in reality.

I think your problem is reality has a liberal bias.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Way to go coach.

 

[fatness]

Email? Parents and coaches of little kids leagues email each other? America is doomed.

Why can't they just fax like our forefathers did?

 

[Mr.Pack]

As an AD I would have preferred to handle the situation instead of the coach. However I would have backed him on his decision. By me buffering though I can let both sides blow off some steam and then we can move on.

AD for 10yo girls soccer.

Do you guys think leagues run themselves??

 

[Mr.Pack]

As an AD I would have preferred to handle the situation instead of the coach. However I would have backed him on his decision. By me buffering though I can let both sides blow off some steam and then we can move on.

AD for 10yo girls soccer.

Do you think leagues run themselves? I AD'd a league for several years and we had players as young as 4 and as old as 16. We had football, baseball, softball and basketball. Glad you find it humorous that someone is actually in charge. I live to entertain.

 

[Mr.Pack]

As an AD I would have preferred to handle the situation instead of the coach. However I would have backed him on his decision. By me buffering though I can let both sides blow off some steam and then we can move on.

AD for 10yo girls soccer.

Do you think leagues run themselves? I AD'd a league for several years and we had players as young as 4 and as old as 16. We had football, baseball, softball and basketball. Glad you find it humorous that someone is actually in charge. I live to entertain.

I just found it humorous that you didn't comment on what actually happened, but what you'd PREFER to have happened. The reality is the woman DIDN'T approach the "AD", she approached the coach. She wanted something done NOW. She wanted her child removed from the position she was being asked to play. So I don't see the value in your post. It's very much a Tim look at me post as opposed to a post commenting on what actually happened.

You obviously have a personal gripe with NCC, his post was spot on and is pretty much the way it should have been handled. I applaud the coach though for how he handled it.

Parents (Mostly the women) are the worst.

 

[mr roboto]

I like his approach. Just absolutely crush their argument with fact after fact after fact. It's a very passive aggressive way to put somebody in their place by clearly showing how much more thought out and reason your position as than theirs.

 

[bigbottom]

I like his approach. Just absolutely crush their argument with fact after fact after fact. It's a very passive aggressive way to put somebody in their place by clearly showing how much more thought out and reason your position as than theirs.

That was my thought. It is a thorough and cogent explanation of the team's philosophy and structure. It is basically unrebuttable.

 

[chet]

I like his approach. Just absolutely crush their argument with fact after fact after fact. It's a very passive aggressive way to put somebody in their place by clearly showing how much more thought out and reason your position as than theirs.

That was my thought. It is a thorough and cogent explanation of the team's philosophy and structure. It is basically unrebuttable.

This happened a month ago and it's been :crickets: ever since.

 

[bentley]

Big fan of coach response. The only thing I miss from being the president of the homeowners association was the random opportunity to fire off emails like this to fools who were completely wrong but also completely sure of themselves.

 

[Ghost Rider]

I don't see what is wrong with the coach's reply being so long. He explained everything well enough to where there should be no questions. A short reply would have only invited more questions and accusations.

 

[Tom Skerritt]

I don't see what is wrong with the coach's reply being so long. He explained everything well enough to where there should be no questions. A short reply would have only invited more questions and accusations.

Biggest problem I have with it is that he repeats his points in several of the numbered responses. Not necessarily wrong, just too verbose.

 

[Pots]

As an AD I would have preferred to handle the situation instead of the coach. However I would have backed him on his decision. By me buffering though I can let both sides blow off some steam and then we can move on.

AD for 10yo girls soccer.

Do you think leagues run themselves? I AD'd a league for several years and we had players as young as 4 and as old as 16. We had football, baseball, softball and basketball. Glad you find it humorous that someone is actually in charge. I live to entertain.

I just found it humorous that you didn't comment on what actually happened, but what you'd PREFER to have happened. The reality is the woman DIDN'T approach the "AD", she approached the coach. She wanted something done NOW. She wanted her child removed from the position she was being asked to play. So I don't see the value in your post. It's very much a Tim look at me post as opposed to a post commenting on what actually happened.

You obviously have a personal gripe with NCC, his post was spot on and is pretty much the way it should have been handled.

I disagree completely, what Strike said was spot on. You obviously have a personal attachment to NCC.

 

[otello]

So your brother is cool with you putting all this on the net?

 

[Abraham]

Way to go coach.

 

[chet]

So your brother is cool with you putting all this on the net?

If not, I am sure I will get a long email explaining why.

 

[Wrigley]

I can only hope my kids end up with coaches as awesome as this one

 

[Mr.Pack]

As an AD I would have preferred to handle the situation instead of the coach. However I would have backed him on his decision. By me buffering though I can let both sides blow off some steam and then we can move on.

AD for 10yo girls soccer.

Do you think leagues run themselves? I AD'd a league for several years and we had players as young as 4 and as old as 16. We had football, baseball, softball and basketball. Glad you find it humorous that someone is actually in charge. I live to entertain.

I just found it humorous that you didn't comment on what actually happened, but what you'd PREFER to have happened. The reality is the woman DIDN'T approach the "AD", she approached the coach. She wanted something done NOW. She wanted her child removed from the position she was being asked to play. So I don't see the value in your post. It's very much a Tim look at me post as opposed to a post commenting on what actually happened.

You obviously have a personal gripe with NCC, his post was spot on and is pretty much the way it should have been handled.

I disagree completely, what Strike said was spot on. You obviously have a personal attachment to NCC.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I think the wife was out of line and the coach's email was good. With that said, I coach a rec league team of girls the same age and some of the girls are absolutely terrified of playing goal. I would never force them to do it because they would be miserable and cry. I don't want to have kids quit because they're traumatized.

When I have had trouble getting a goalie volunteer, I use bribery.

 

[Pots]

When I have had trouble getting a goalie volunteer, I use bribery.

Go on...

 

[DA RAIDERS]

i coached my daughters u8 soccer team last year. he was way more long winded than i would have been. coaching is a thankless job, most parents are ##### at some point or another.

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Agree with the coach here.. I've never had a parent interrupt during a game, but If I had, I hope I could come up with a response as well thought out as his.

 

[gianmarco]

I have no issue with it being so long. Plus, it wasn't long as a response to why the girl was in goal. If that was what he was defending, then I agree, no need to make it that lengthy. However, the email was in response to why he was rude to the guy's wife and why he doesn't owe her an apology at all. And for that, his response was spot on and explained exactly why SHE was the one being completely disrespectful.

 

[Otis]

Coach wins in a landslide. Poor husband is probably now furious with wife for making him reach out in the first place, only to get his ### handed to him.

 

[Christo]

Coach wins in a landslide. Poor husband is probably now furious with wife for making him reach out in the first place, only to get his ### handed to him.

Can't you just imagine the twist she put on it to get her husband to react that way?

 

[Ilov80s]

There's no real response to the email other than:

Tl;dr

 

[dutch]

There's no real response to the email other than:

Tl;dr

The email from the coach was approriate in length, tone, attitude and demeanor to properly address all the concerns relating to mom's little girl being subjected to the same treatment as the rest of her teamates and mom's attempts to put the coach on the spot for mom's inability to accept that the coach meant what he said when he laid out his concerns and solutions to a potential problem. Mom sent dad to act the tough when all in all she was cearly in the wrong. Coach took his time and spelled it all out so there would be no confusion as to what's what.

 

[Ilov80s]

There's no real response to the email other than:

Tl;dr

The email from the coach was approriate in length, tone, attitude and demeanor to properly address all the concerns relating to mom's little girl being subjected to the same treatment as the rest of her teamates and mom's attempts to put the coach on the spot for mom's inability to accept that the coach meant what he said when he laid out his concerns and solutions to a potential problem. Mom sent dad to act the tough when all in all she was cearly in the wrong. Coach took his time and spelled it all out so there would be no confusion as to what's what.

I already said it was too prolix, but no doubt coach is right and that is evident. When I said there is no response but Tl;dr, I meant from the husband's perspective. The argument was so thorough and covers the issue so thoroughly that the only reply is be an ####### and say you didn't read it because it was too long.

 

[Smack Tripper]

Parents like this should raise golfers, gymnasts or tennis players.

 

[dutch]

Sorry for the misunderstanding, ILove80s, I misread your intent and your proposed response is spot on.

 

[Ilov80s]

Sorry for the misunderstanding, ILove80s, I misread your intent and your proposed response is spot on.

Not a problem Dutch. I'm glad coach got the best of these quixotic parents.

 

[tdog]

The coach has a dumb policy. He assumes all kids dislike the position at the same rate and therefore it is fair only if all share equally in covering the position. So the girl that dislikes the position is treated the same as the girl that has a debilitating anxiety attack at the thought of being placed in that position. So she quits because she is not "tough enough" to handle it at 10 years old. I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

 

[mr roboto]

The coach has a dumb policy. He assumes all kids dislike the position at the same rate and therefore it is fair only if all share equally in covering the position. So the girl that dislikes the position is treated the same a the girls that has a debilitating anxiety attack at the thought of being placed in that position. So she quits because she is not "tough enough" to handle it at 10 years old. I would suggest that is the type of caching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

 

[Christo]

The coach has a dumb policy. He assumes all kids dislike the position at the same rate and therefore it is fair only if all share equally in covering the position. So the girl that dislikes the position is treated the same as the girl that has a debilitating anxiety attack at the thought of being placed in that position. So she quits because she is not "tough enough" to handle it at 10 years old. I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

He's asking them to play GK for half a game not pilot the shuttle.

 

[tdog]

The coach has a dumb policy. He assumes all kids dislike the position at the same rate and therefore it is fair only if all share equally in covering the position. So the girl that dislikes the position is treated the same as the girl that has a debilitating anxiety attack at the thought of being placed in that position. So she quits because she is not "tough enough" to handle it at 10 years old. I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

He's asking them to play GK for half a game not pilot the shuttle.

Maybe he could go with "Suck it up little girl. Your problems are minor in the grand scheme of things. I can't believe you don't have a better perspective on life. Stop crying. It's only a half." Then she would respond, "You're right coach. I need to toughen up. Being 10 is no excuse for not having better control over my fears."

A better coach would figure out how to make his players want to play.

 

[bigbottom]

The coach has a dumb policy. He assumes all kids dislike the position at the same rate and therefore it is fair only if all share equally in covering the position. So the girl that dislikes the position is treated the same as the girl that has a debilitating anxiety attack at the thought of being placed in that position. So she quits because she is not "tough enough" to handle it at 10 years old. I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

It doesn't sound like anyone had a debilitating anxiety attack, and the coach said that he would have put his own daughter in again at goal if he didn't think the complainer's daughter could handle it.

 

[bigbottom]

I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

Requiring kids who sign up to play soccer to, you know, play soccer is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports?

 

[mr roboto]

I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

Requiring kids who sign up to play soccer to, you know, play soccer is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports?

Apparently if you ask real nice 10 year old girls will really want to play goalie.

 

[tdog]

I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

Requiring kids who sign up to play soccer to, you know, play soccer is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports?

OK a bit hyperbolic. How about-- if you are writing 3000 word emails defending forcing a 10-year-old to play a position she doesn't want to, maybe you should re-evaluate certain aspects of your coaching philosophy.

 

[Mr.Pack]

tdog and pots, the only 2 siding with the parent.

 

[Spartans Rule]

I would suggest that is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports.

Requiring kids who sign up to play soccer to, you know, play soccer is the type of coaching philosophy that is at the root of the problems with youth sports?

OK a bit hyperbolic. How about-- if you are writing 3000 word emails defending forcing a 10-year-old to play a position she doesn't want to, maybe you should re-evaluate certain aspects of your coaching philosophy.

Number of girls who wanted to play goalie on his team, as he said about 17 times in his email: ZERO.

So his options were: A. Force a girl to play goalie who didn't want to or B. Cancel the season.

Sometimes in life you have to do things you don't want to. They're usually not as bad as you think they'll be. That's a great lesson to learn and the girls are probably better off for it.