This is just more evidence of the need for a Mini-Me Division (I am not letting this go) you are like
6'11', Usain Bolt tall!!!
Tri-Man is much bigger than 6'11". While all of the below are true, number 14 reveals his actual height. 1. Tri-Man' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Tri-Man does not sleep. He waits.
3. Tri-Man is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Tri-Man is pain.
5. If you can see Tri-Man, he can see you. If you can't see Tri-Man, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Tri-Man has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Tri-Man does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Tri-Man goes killing.
8. Tri-Man doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
9. Tri-Man is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Tri-Man, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11. There is no chin behind Tri-Man' beard. There is only another fist.
12. Tri-Man once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
13. Crop circles are Tri-Man' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
14. Tri-Man is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
15. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Tri-Man out. It failed miserably.
16. If you ask Tri-Man what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
17. Tri-Man drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
18. Tri-Man sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Tri-Man roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
19. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Tri-Man allows to live.
20. Tri-Man once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
21. Tri-Man is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
22. Tri-Man doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
23. When Tri-Man sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Tri-Man has not had to pay taxes ever.
24. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tri-Man' fist.
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Tri-Man and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Tri-Man will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
27. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Tri-Man jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
28. Tri-Man originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Tri-Man replied, "That's no glitch."
29. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Tri-Man played in second grade.
30. Tri-Man once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
31. Tri-Man once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Tri-Man re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
32. Tri-Man has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
33. Someone once tried to tell Tri-Man that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
34. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Tri-Mantatorship.
35. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Tri-Man once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
36. Tri-Man is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Tri-Man
37. Tri-Man is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
38. Tri-Man can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
39. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Tri-Man instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
40. If you say Tri-Man' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Tri-Man himself.
41. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Tri-Man.
42. Tri-Man discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Tri-Man is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Tri-Man roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
43. The Tri-Man military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Tri-Man could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
44. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Tri-Man could use to kill you, including the room itself.
45. Tri-Man does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
46. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Tri-Man gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
47. When Tri-Man goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
48. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Tri-Man.
49. Tri-Man once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more ####?" contest. Tri-Man won by 5.
50. Tri-Man was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Tri-Man's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
51. Tri-Man sheds his skin twice a year.
52. When Tri-Man calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
53. Tri-Man once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
54. There are no races, only countries of people Tri-Man has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
55. Tri-Man can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
56. A Tri-Man-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
57. When Tri-Man falls in water, Tri-Man doesn't get wet. Water gets Tri-Man.
58. Tri-Man's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Tri-Man is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
59. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1TMRhK (Tri-Man Roundhouse Kick)
60. Tri-Man’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
61. When Tri-Man has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
62. How much wood would a woodTri-Man Tri-Man if a woodTri-Man could Tri-Man? ...All of it.
63. Tri-Man doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
64. In honor of Tri-Man, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Tri-Man-sized".
65. Tri-Man CAN believe it's not butter.
66. If tapped, a Tri-Man roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
67. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Tri-Man has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
68. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Tri-Man roundhouse kick.
69. Tri-Man invented his own type of karate. It's called Tri-Man-Will-Kill.
70. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Tri-Man just to be on the safe side.
71. While urinating, Tri-Man is easily capable of welding titanium.
72. Tri-Man once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
73. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Tri-Man kills a ninja, he uses every part.
74. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Tri-Man calls this "a slow Tuesday."
75. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Tri-Man to go around.
76. Tri-Man doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Tri-Man is Tri-Man.
77. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Tri-Man, each testicle is larger than the other one.
78. When taking the SAT, write "Tri-Man" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
79. Tri-Man invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
80. When you're Tri-Man, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
81. Tri-Man has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
82. On his birthday, Tri-Man randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
83. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Tri-Man.
84. Tri-Man doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Tri-Man throws down!
85. In the beginning there was nothing...then Tri-Man Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
86. Tri-Man has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
87. Tri-Man grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
88. Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Tri-Man"
89. Tri-Man ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
90. Tri-Man and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
91. If you Google search "Tri-Man getting his ### kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
92. Tri-Man doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
93. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Tri-Man. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
94. Tri-Man brings the noise AND the funk.
95. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Tri-Man will find you and kill you.
96. Tri-Man can slam a revolving door.
97. When Tri-Man is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
98. James Cameron wanted Tri-Man to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
99. Tri-Man can touch MC Hammer.
100. Little known medical fact: Tri-Man invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.
101. Tri-Man can divide by zero.