Random Reasons You Know You're OLD (3 Viewers)

[WDIK2]

Watching The Open while browsing the FFA.  Open a new browser tab, look up at the TV to see a shot, forget why I opened the new browser tab.

 

[Nipsey]

Go to google search and type "google" into the search box 30-40% of the time.

 

[zamboni]

Still call recording something on the DVR “taping”.

 

[CurlyNight]

Oh wow. Well, cancer at 50 with various complications and surgeries, knee replacement recently, arthritis in acromioclavicular joint and all along my spine, fuzzy/foggy head, severe fatigue, various aches..Those are the big ones. 

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Talking comic books/movies with a young guy at work.

Him: Who was your favorite Batman?

Me: Michael Keaton

Him, looking puzzled: Which one was he in?

Me, looking puzzled: What do you mean?

Him: Was he in the Christian Bale or Ben Affleck one?

Me: No, Micheal Keaton WAS Batman.

Him: What?  When?

Not only had he never seen the Batman from the 80s, he didn't even know it existed.

 

[urbanhack]

Grey hairs are now on my neck.  

 

[Jayrok]

When the guys you had on some of your original fantasy baseball teams back in the early 90s are now getting into the hall of fame.  

 

[Tom Skerritt]

I want to get to the airport at least 3 hours before my flight takes off. 

 

[trader jake]

When the guys you had on some of your original fantasy baseball teams back in the early 90s are now getting into the hall of fame.  

And/or their sons are now in the bigs long enough to sign a big FA contract.

I want to get to the airport at least 3 hours before my flight takes off. 

Why?  That's crazy talk.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

I've started to like 90's music A LOT.

 

[Rushmore]

Now being old enough to be fathers of MLB...umpires.

Exhibit A last night: 28-year-old rookie umpire Brennan Miller, who tossed Yankees’ manager Aaron Boone last night, but also victimized by an all-time tirade due to his bad calls behind the plate (beware NSFW profanity)

https://twitter.com/jomboy_/status/1151971547147583488?s=21

That in itself makes me feel old too 

 

[Osaurus]

I’m watching CHiPs

 

[rockaction]

I’m watching CHiPs

If you remember the episodes from prime time, then you are old.  

 

[Osaurus]

If you remember the episodes from prime time, then you are old.  

I do 

 

[TheIronSheik]

Took me about 5 seconds to recognize the old, fat guy on the JumboTron wearing the same clothes as me.

 

[WampusCat43]

My knees are shot.  I can't jump at all anymore, not even a little bit.  Sprinting, stopping and changing directions is very difficult and requires a solid 20 minutes of warm up before it is even possible.

Yeah, my vertical is measured in millimeters these days.

 

[WampusCat43]

Good point ...I'll check on that, thanks.  (Topic is restless legs.  No, not that 'leg.')

I tried Pramipexole (yes, I did have to look up the spelling - I'm old) for a while with mixed success.  You have to take it every night, just in case (my RL is infrequent), and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  I usually end up walking into the next room and stretching my calves while having deep conversations with the cat, and that takes care of it.

 

[WampusCat43]

Takes me longer to get up from where I am sitting or laying.  The longer I am down, the longer it takes me to get up. It hurts so much now.  I make old man sounds while doing so.  Once I'm up, I have to make sure my balance and strength are all there so I can then move to where I am going.  I'm 46.  Sucks.

Everything on me hurts, except for my left shoulder.  I'm not kidding.  My left shoulder is the mvp of my body right now.  The hero. 

This.  The balancing act, like a pro golfer lining up to putt.  "OK, got it.  Ready?  Now, rotate in place...there you go!  Now, go get 'em!"

(Why'd I get up again?)

 

[Kanil]

I felt old the first time the lady cutting my hair asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed.

Then I felt older when the lady cutting my hair didn't ask, and just did it.

Then, yesterday, I felt even older when she took the trimmers to my ears without asking.

 

[eoMMan]

Saying "Good Morning" to the office when walking in and only receiving a "Good Morning" back from the 50 something person.

The young 20 something, with no social skills like a lot of youngsters these days, doesn't say a peep.

 

[WainiacS]

I went to a strip club in Cleveland and was talking with one of the girls. I asked if all the girls got together for health insurance or if there was some kind of group option. 

 

[nirad3]

I'll get right to the point:  I threw my back out reaching down to flush the toilet on Sunday afternoon.  Like BAD.  

I took 4 ibuprofen after I did it and it had no effect.

It was to the point where I considered going to the emergency room... the pain was that bad.

Ended up going to my doctor on Monday and they prescribed muscle relaxers, high-dose ibuprofen and (thank God) pain pills.  Also got an x-ray.  That was fun.

So I've been hopped up on multiple drugs the past day or so, and while it still hurts when I get in/out of bed or have to bend over, I'm better than I was on Sunday night.

So what are some random things you've noticed lately that prove that you are, in fact, an old geezer?

2 weeks in and I thought I was in the clear but this ish just isn't going away.  Finally scheduled some physical therapy, which I guess can't hurt.  

The pain pill + muscle relaxer did a number on my mental well-being yesterday.  Far and away one of the weirdest days of my life.

I used to deal with pain well, now I feel like a big baby.  A big OLD baby.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I went to a strip club in Cleveland and was talking with one of the girls. I asked if all the girls got together for health insurance or if there was some kind of group option. 

I went to one that had both a mother and daughter as dancers. On top of that the daughter was 5 months pregnant. Have not since checked back on granny & company.

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

Old man achievement:   UNLOCKED

several months ago I was taking a dump and my sack touched the water for the first time in my life.  Slap it high?

 

[Christo]

Just had my first preventative colonoscopy.

 

[Quint]

Old man achievement:   UNLOCKED

several months ago I was taking a dump and my sack touched the water for the first time in my life.  Slap it high?

Happened to me a few months back. Called the water company immediately to find out who authorized raising the water level at our residence. 

Got voicemail, left message. Waiting for reply. 

 

[joffer]

just can't clear that fairway bunker anymore.  finally got me some old-man shafts.

 

[Bossman]

Some of the music I hear while shopping at the grocery store is on my "favorites" playlist.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Watching The Office and Michael Scott revealed he was 43 years old.  How can he be younger than me?

 

[Henry Ford]

just can't clear that fairway bunker anymore.  finally got me some old-man shafts.

Phrasing. 

 

[Sullie]

Talking comic books/movies with a young guy at work.

Him: Who was your favorite Batman?

Me: Michael Keaton

Him, looking puzzled: Which one was he in?

Me, looking puzzled: What do you mean?

Him: Was he in the Christian Bale or Ben Affleck one?

Me: No, Micheal Keaton WAS Batman.

Him: What?  When?

Not only had he never seen the Batman from the 80s, he didn't even know it existed.

 "Oh, I guess you’re only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer? Ha. The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt. And I didn’t need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure. West. And how come Batman doesn’t dance anymore? Remember the Batusi?"  -- Adam West

Simpsons reference.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

I bought 6 bags of frozen peas yesterday so that I can ice my knees each night before bed

 

[E-Z Glider]

buying frozen peas to ice your knees instead of using, you know, ice packs

 

[TheIronSheik]

buying frozen peas to ice your knees instead of using, you know, ice packs

I thought the same thing.  That is a total old man move.  "Grandpa, do you want an icepack?" "I don't need some fancy crap when a good old bag of peas will work just fine, whippersnapper."

 

[Copeman]

Sometimes I still prefer the bags of peas.  They are easy to form around your knee, where as sometimes and ice pack just lays across a certain part, not even contacting the part that needs it.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Sometimes I still prefer the bags of peas.  They are easy to form around your knee, where as sometimes and ice pack just lays across a certain part, not even contacting the part that needs it.

And how old are you?

 

[Henry Ford]

And how old are you?

“As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth, kid.”

 

[Copeman]

And how old are you?

98

 

[Mr. Mojo]

I bump into stuff at least once a day.

My smooth and fast moves have been replaced by klutziness. (oh yeah, klutz is an old term, too) 

 

[CGRdrJoe]

Sometimes I still prefer the bags of peas.  They are easy to form around your knee, where as sometimes and ice pack just lays across a certain part, not even contacting the part that needs it.

Yep, it's the reason I got the peas instead of ice packs. Don't hate on me Sheik, I'm a young 43

 

[TheIronSheik]

I bump into stuff at least once a day.

My smooth and fast moves have been replaced by klutziness. (oh yeah, klutz is an old term, too) 

Have you ever broken a couple of toes on an Ottoman? 

 

[TheIronSheik]

Yep, it's the reason I got the peas instead of ice packs. Don't hate on me Sheik, I'm a young 43

 

Wait.



I'm older than you?  Crap. 

 

[Mr. Mojo]

Have you ever broken a couple of toes on an Ottoman? 

Not yet, but give it time.

 

[Kanil]

I bump into stuff at least once a day.

My smooth and fast moves have been replaced by klutziness. (oh yeah, klutz is an old term, too) 

My 8yo called my dog a "big lummox" the other day.  I had to have him repeat it to make sure I heard it right.  Asked him where he heard it... Calvin and Hobbes.

 

[Van Dyman]

Sleep before 11 pm, even on weekends..

sometimes, now, i forget to drink completely

Yep. Several times this year I've thought "Oh, I'm gonna drink and have a blast tonight!" only to have one drink and fall asleep at 10. 

 

[jonessed]

Saying "Good Morning" to the office when walking in and only receiving a "Good Morning" back from the 50 something person.

The young 20 something, with no social skills like a lot of youngsters these days, doesn't say a peep.

It is pretty amazing how many millennials simply suck at communication.  Well educated people who struggle to hold a conversation. They are good with online marketing though.

It’s also good for HR.  When I was young an office full of 20-somethings would create all kinds of extra-curricular complications.  No social skills solves that.

Edit: I’ve recently had two 20-something women (one at a restaurant and one at the DMV) out of the blue tell me I remind them of their HS PE teacher.  It just kind of dawned on me that I should take that as a sign that I’m old.

 

[Tony Jabroni]

Have you ever broken a couple of toes on an Ottoman? 

Yes. Yes I have. Twice.

 

[trader jake]

After playing basketball my wife will ask me if I'm injured or old.  I now just reply yes.

 

[Henry Ford]

Have you ever broken a couple of toes on an Ottoman? 

I think they're called Turks.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I think they're called Turks.

Racist