So you screwed up and let your wife quit her job. (1 Viewer)

[trader jake]

Good luck with that.

GB having a woman who works hard, makes bank, and would be just fine if I got laid off, quit, died, etc.

 

[Christo]

OK, let's cut to the chase. If she's running through cash like this and not working, yet you don't want to leave her, she has to be a real hellcat in the sack?

and we'll need some visual proof

We still wrestle 4-5 times/week.Married 9 years and I am still all over that.

Cut her off. That'll show her!

 

[Zegras11]

OK, let's cut to the chase. If she's running through cash like this and not working, yet you don't want to leave her, she has to be a real hellcat in the sack?

and we'll need some visual proof

We still wrestle 4-5 times/week.Married 9 years and I am still all over that.

Cut her off. That'll show her!

I'm thinking the frequency is be used to keep the spending up :mergewithusingsechsasaweaponthread:

 

[Christo]

$800/week is $100 a day, EVERY day, for four months? Something is not right. You don't go through money like that by "picking up the tabs" for friends. Unless she is doing it every. single. day.

Something is amiss. I would add the fact that your wife flips out when you even mention it, and . . . well, something is not right here.

I have no idea what the "something" is. But there is something else here. You gotta find it out, man. Stat.

You do if you're picking up the tab for 4 women who like to go to nice restaurants and drink. A couple of drinks a piece at a decent place and the alcohol alone is costing $100. I highly doubt they're drinking Miller Lite from the bottle.

 

[SWC]

dude standing hampton would not like your wife at all just bring him over let it rip and then yuo are not the bad guy he is bam right there brohan

 

[Sweet J]

OK, let's cut to the chase. If she's running through cash like this and not working, yet you don't want to leave her, she has to be a real hellcat in the sack?

and we'll need some visual proof

We still wrestle 4-5 times/week.Married 9 years and I am still all over that.

Sweet Jesus, that changes everything. You have sex 4/5 times a week? And you've been married 9 years? Screw you buddy, I wish I had your "problems." Let your wife spend whatever she wants, dummy. I think I'd let her drown my dog if it got me sex 4/5 times a week.

 

[glock]

OK, let's cut to the chase. If she's running through cash like this and not working, yet you don't want to leave her, she has to be a real hellcat in the sack?

and we'll need some visual proof

We still wrestle 4-5 times/week.Married 9 years and I am still all over that.

Sweet Jesus, that changes everything. You have sex 4/5 times a week? And you've been married 9 years? Screw you buddy, I wish I had your "problems." Let your wife spend whatever she wants, dummy. I think I'd let her drown my dog if it got me sex 4/5 times a week.

How Long you hitched, Sweet??

 

[Zow]

OK, let's cut to the chase. If she's running through cash like this and not working, yet you don't want to leave her, she has to be a real hellcat in the sack?

and we'll need some visual proof

We still wrestle 4-5 times/week.Married 9 years and I am still all over that.

Sweet Jesus, that changes everything. You have sex 4/5 times a week? And you've been married 9 years? Screw you buddy, I wish I had your "problems." Let your wife spend whatever she wants, dummy. I think I'd let her drown my dog if it got me sex 4/5 times a week.

 

[Sweet J]

OK, let's cut to the chase. If she's running through cash like this and not working, yet you don't want to leave her, she has to be a real hellcat in the sack?

and we'll need some visual proof

We still wrestle 4-5 times/week.Married 9 years and I am still all over that.

Sweet Jesus, that changes everything. You have sex 4/5 times a week? And you've been married 9 years? Screw you buddy, I wish I had your "problems." Let your wife spend whatever she wants, dummy. I think I'd let her drown my dog if it got me sex 4/5 times a week.

How Long you hitched, Sweet??

12 years. But it feels like five minutes.Underwater.

 

[Sweet J]

I kid. I probably should have added a winky-thing so show I was kidding. Of course, I love my wife. I could definitely see selling one of my neices or nephews to a white-slave trader if it got me more sex with her.

 

[Psychopav]

Is this where we pick up the war on women now that the republican scapegoats are gone?

 

[SouthJersey]

Send her back to work full time. My wife was on this path with incessant needless shopping...she got a new job that pays much better (same amt of work, just much more enjoyable work environment) and she became more conscious of $$ again.

Granted our salary split is more 50/50 but when she saw the extra money in our account some sort of reverse psychology kicked in with her and she wanted to save more (or maybe spend more wisely?) now that we were bringing in more money.

Good luck bud!

 

[pittstownkiller]

You better get a second job; with the money she is squirreling away she is going to have a much better lawyer than you'll have, for the divorce.

 

[babydemon90]

I'd setup a separate account, with a monthly stipend that gets directly deposited into her account. This is the only account she would be allowed to use for non-bills...how she chooses to spend it is up to her. Don't include kids clothes or stuff like that on er budget, unless she is going way overboard there....

 

[Grady Wilson]

I feel your pain. We have $730 in credit card paymentsa month.

No offense, but that's beyond stupid. That's childish immature behavior.

 

[mr roboto]

I feel your pain. We have $730 in credit card paymentsa month.

No offense, but that's beyond stupid. That's childish immature behavior.

Wait till you catch up.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Quit her job 3 years ago, right before our first son was born. She's never going back

If we ever have a dispute over money, she threatens me saying she'll go back to work

No honey, anything but additional income!

 

[sbonomo]

Update!

 

[AAABatteries]

Well damn

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

 

[matuski]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

 

[James Daulton]

On the plus side I hear Tinder's the bomb!

Update: disregard, I posted this before the OP's update

Of course, once the wife starts pulling in mad bank perhaps the OP could be in line for palimoney?

 

[matuski]

I see I have dates overlapping/mixed up here... she quit the part time, then went full time months later with the help of surgeon wife.

Surgeon wife saved my life.

 

[The Commish]

What the hell is she buying?

A large chunk is nothing more than the daily lunches with friends.They can never go somewhere normal.. you would never find them at Chili's. She spends $50+ on these lunches easily. When she isn't working these lunches include wine/margaritas, etc... runs up the tab real quick.

ALSO - she somehow feels the need to pick up the tab for the others quite often. When I see this, we have the sweetest little arguments.

This was my wife. She has the "keeping up with the Joneses" syndrome it sounds like. She got three warnings and I took her off the bank accounts. She opened credit cards (but with no bank accounts had like $500 limits) that she maxed but couldn't pay for. Eventually, she learned and decided it was better to work WITH me on this stuff. She now has the check card back, but I still watch things very closely. It took putting her credit in the pooper and having credit agencies calling her before she "got it". YMMV.

 

[The Commish]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

Damn...didn't even look at the dates of the thread Ignore what I said

 

[comfortably numb]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

yep, she is banging the surgeon friend.

 

[GOB]

Does she have a sister? Specifically a trashy sister?

 

[matuski]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

yep, she is banging the surgeon friend.

 

[matuski]

I should've let whoever is running Gecko run with it for a bit.

Nothing kills threads faster than good news.

 

[eoMMan]

Wait....so she's boinking the surgeon now?

 

[xulf]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

Well, WTF. At least make your update believable. Oh, woe is me, my life is so friggin great and perfect. Throw us normal folks a bone and at least say she doesn't put out anymore. Have some class, guy.

 

[matuski]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

Well, WTF. At least make your update believable. Oh, woe is me, my life is so friggin great and perfect. Throw us normal folks a bone and at least say she doesn't put out anymore. Have some class, guy.

I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately, and have decided I owe all of this to my parents forcing me into tennis at age 13. High School tennis team becomes my circle of friends. Several from tennis team end up being best friends through college.

After college I go into sales, they go off to more school. They move back and become big timers, and our families stay close. Wife becomes best friends with my best friends' wives. My wife falls victim to keeping up with the Joneses, and we nearly lose our marriage, but being connected to the Joneses (the surgeons) saves our marriage and creates this opportunity we have now.

I would never have known these people if my parents didn't make me do something I didn't want to do as a teen. Thanks Mom and Dad.

 

[xulf]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

Well, WTF. At least make your update believable. Oh, woe is me, my life is so friggin great and perfect. Throw us normal folks a bone and at least say she doesn't put out anymore. Have some class, guy.

I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately, and have decided I owe all of this to my parents forcing me into tennis at age 13. High School tennis team becomes my circle of friends. Several from tennis team end up being best friends through college.

After college I go into sales, they go off to more school. They move back and become big timers, and our families stay close. Wife becomes best friends with my best friends' wives. My wife falls victim to keeping up with the Joneses, and we nearly lose our marriage, but being connected to the Joneses (the surgeons) saves our marriage and creates this opportunity we have now.

I would never have known these people if my parents didn't make me do something I didn't want to do as a teen. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Great, now you are just throwing in loving and supportive parents who are always looking out for you...

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

How old was the kid (or children) when the wife went back to work?

 

[Rove!]

Hey thanks for bumping.

Great update actually:

Shortly after this we had it out, biggest fight of our lives. I thought it was over actually.

The a couple/few months later - one of the surgeon friends of mine mentioned in the OP was complaining about his staff and how his office manager quit. Without thinking I threw it out there. If it hadn't gone down exactly this way it would not have happened at all - but he went and told his wife. They knew we were in a rough patch, surgeon wife calls my wife immediately. Wife has been working for him ever since.

As it turns out this has been awesome... my wife is truly the hardest working person I know (when she is working), and has won over not only my surgeon friend but the entire practice. Raise after raise, she is now up to $90k/yr. She gets along with everyone great, gets to go to lunch with the wives, gets to take days off when we need it for the kids.. just a laid back environment.

Better yet, a couple of the docs are starting up a new genetics lab and have approached her about being their head of HR/Office manager there. Pay will be more than double.

Better still - I have been able to better communicate to her that she could have more of the things WE AS A FAMILY want (nicer house, country club, vacations, etc) if she can pull back on all the spending on stupid ####. Somehow, someway she has. Looking for lots now on a new home, been on 2 vacations the last year, country club will be on the table when she starts lab job.

Imagine that.. a happily ever after story about an FFA wife. Sorry to disappoint!

yep, she is banging the surgeon friend.

Whatever it takes...

 

[Sheriff Bart]

I feel your pain. We have $730 in credit card paymentsa month.

He said they haven't used it in years.

He said HE hasn't used it in years.

This debt was inherited by current wife but incurred by my wonderful ex-wife. God, I hate that #####. Anyway, inheriting someone elses debt is for another thread. WE don't use the CC's. I guess you could say I was once married to the OP's wife.

You mean you pay $730 in interest every month or that's your entire balance?

My guess is that's their MINIMUM payment (which implies a solid 5-fgures in CC debt).

It really changes the tone of Sheriff Bart's

My wife has put about 30k on the cc the last 6 months. I pay it in full every month because I ball so hard but FML. :(

 

[matuski]

How old was the kid (or children) when the wife went back to work?

Part time at 4 and 6, then quit, then back full time in this position at 5 and 7 if I recall correctly.

 

[Kraft...]

The stay at home full time thing definitely isn't for every woman. My wife has been much happier working part time than when she was home full time. Different interactions and more using her brain seems to have helped. Having the right job is another thing, which I see the OP discovered.

 

[17seconds]

Looking at my older posts in this topic is a flashback...

Update from me: I divorced her last year and spent months trying to get her to work via the courts. I paid $2K for a vocational expert to evaluate her ability to work and the report he submitted to the court was very favorable. She could go out and make $40K right now. We ended up settling on a step down in alimony payments after some time because it is so easy for her to drag her feet for years.

So you could say I've had a worst-case scenario getting my wife (now ex) to work. Don't recommend marrying someone whose entire goal in life is to never work again. I was completely railroaded since it didn't start out that way.

Absolutely refuse to get serious with any woman again who doesn't have her own #### going.

 

[17seconds]

I feel your pain. We have $730 in credit card paymentsa month.

He said they haven't used it in years.

He said HE hasn't used it in years.

This debt was inherited by current wife but incurred by my wonderful ex-wife. God, I hate that #####. Anyway, inheriting someone elses debt is for another thread. WE don't use the CC's. I guess you could say I was once married to the OP's wife.

You mean you pay $730 in interest every month or that's your entire balance?

My guess is that's their MINIMUM payment (which implies a solid 5-fgures in CC debt).

It really changes the tone of Sheriff Bart's

My wife has put about 30k on the cc the last 6 months. I pay it in full every month because I ball so hard but FML. :(

See my post above - I've gone from doing very well but having no control over the budget with the wife, to having half of the take home I used to but complete control over everything I spend.

I much prefer how it is now. Absolutely no financial stress anymore. Just need to live a little more simply and enjoy.

Oh, and there's the dating of women 10-20yrs younger than me... Loving life being single again.

 

[NutterButter]

If my wife ever decided to stop working, I'd divorce her instantly. No way I'm going to be stuck with either a wife that just sits around all day or paying alimony.

 

[fantasycurse42]

My wife has put about 30k on the cc the last 6 months. I pay it in full every month because I ball so hard but FML. :(

Wat? You know Amex can cap spending on a card?

I don't know what you take home, but if it is less than at least $1M gross, you need to fix that.

If you earn $500k and come home with $300k, your wife is basically lighting 20% of your take home on fire a year.

 

[fantasycurse42]

If my wife ever decided to stop working, I'd divorce her instantly. No way I'm going to be stuck with either a wife that just sits around all day or paying alimony.

My notebook indicates you're a stay at home Dad, is that incorrect?

 

[Chadstroma]

Nice to see a happy ending.

We are a long way off from the point where my wife could stop working though she very much would like to. I am not too worried about that point if it ever comes because other than spending money on her family (picking up the tab for dinner type of stuff) she is fairly frugal. She is also very hard working- much more so than I am. I would expect her to throw that energy into managing the house but there are plenty of times when she has had time off where she could have done house stuff and she ends up sitting around all day and then going frolicking with her sister- usually shopping of some sort. It makes me wonder.

Obviously the thought of the bonus of the wife staying home is that you get a lot of the "share" of house/kid/chore stuff off your shoulders but the instances that I have seen it in real life- it does not seem like that happens. The wife still B's and moans about how the husband doesn't do anything around the house and how they need help. Now, I actually stayed home with our firstborn when she was born for the first year- so I know it is not 'easy' to stay home but at the same point, there has to be an extra pay off for being the one going to work everyday while the other one stays home. There is no way that I would allow childcare over normal 'school' time. That to me is just lazy and dang costly over the fact that she is not bringing income. The one thing I know I would not worry about is my wife tiring of the "mother" role.

 

[James Daulton]

I should've let whoever is running Gecko run with it for a bit.

Nothing kills threads faster than good news.

When Otis used to talk about the era before he met his current wife, he would talk about how he cheated on every last one of them. But that when he met his wife, it all changed, because she was the "hottest" or the premium of them all.

That's not a "character" change, that's a "circumstance" change.

Put Otis' wife in a massive car accident or some situation where she ends up 350 pounds or disfigured, and give it enough time, and that character will eventually pull through the mask. He'll be right back to cheating.

The "circumstance" is right now, his wife is young and nice looking and the envy of some people he knows. That circumstance might and does and could change. It wouldn't be the first time that someone with a real problem with the concept of fidelity ended up trading in their old model for the newer shinier model a few years down the road.

Did your wife have a change in CHARACTER or did she have a change in CIRCUMSTANCE?

A change in character would be if there was no sweetheart job with big pay, and she suddenly stopped and said to herself that she had to start considering what was best for the kids, the marriage and the family unit. She would have sat down and talked to you, not blamed you for the situation. She would have put the kids first, not made herself the primary consideration when under duress.

What she got was a change in circumstance. And what if that new job situation doesn't work out. What if the one she has doesn't work out. What then?

What she has proven is when times were tough, things were under duress, when stress was up, she chose herself. Above you, above your marriage, above your kids. It's when a person is at their lowest, when they are struggling, when they are suffering, when they are in pain, that's when you see, by their actions, their character emerge.

It would be a "happy story" if she chose to do what was right for your marriage and your family when it was the hardest thing in the world for her to do. Not when she could finally support her spending habits and still feel validated by her social circle.

When those circumstances change, you will have to deal with her character again, but then her character was made clear the last time you two had to duke it out over money.

It's your life, your choice, but is this what you want to teach your kids?

How can you have love without respect? How can you have respect without a basic sense of dignity? That's what you are teaching them.

If you believe this is a happy ending, then I feel sorry for your children.

Across the board for this one.

 

[NutterButter]

If my wife ever decided to stop working, I'd divorce her instantly. No way I'm going to be stuck with either a wife that just sits around all day or paying alimony.

My notebook indicates you're a stay at home Dad, is that incorrect?

Incorrecto mundo. That would be quite hypocritical of me considering I'd be just sitting around all day.

 

[Jamesbrownkid]

I should've let whoever is running Gecko run with it for a bit.

Nothing kills threads faster than good news.

When Otis used to talk about the era before he met his current wife, he would talk about how he cheated on every last one of them. But that when he met his wife, it all changed, because she was the "hottest" or the premium of them all.

That's not a "character" change, that's a "circumstance" change.

Put Otis' wife in a massive car accident or some situation where she ends up 350 pounds or disfigured, and give it enough time, and that character will eventually pull through the mask. He'll be right back to cheating.

The "circumstance" is right now, his wife is young and nice looking and the envy of some people he knows. That circumstance might and does and could change. It wouldn't be the first time that someone with a real problem with the concept of fidelity ended up trading in their old model for the newer shinier model a few years down the road.

Did your wife have a change in CHARACTER or did she have a change in CIRCUMSTANCE?

A change in character would be if there was no sweetheart job with big pay, and she suddenly stopped and said to herself that she had to start considering what was best for the kids, the marriage and the family unit. She would have sat down and talked to you, not blamed you for the situation. She would have put the kids first, not made herself the primary consideration when under duress.

What she got was a change in circumstance. And what if that new job situation doesn't work out. What if the one she has doesn't work out. What then?

What she has proven is when times were tough, things were under duress, when stress was up, she chose herself. Above you, above your marriage, above your kids. It's when a person is at their lowest, when they are struggling, when they are suffering, when they are in pain, that's when you see, by their actions, their character emerge.

It would be a "happy story" if she chose to do what was right for your marriage and your family when it was the hardest thing in the world for her to do. Not when she could finally support her spending habits and still feel validated by her social circle.

When those circumstances change, you will have to deal with her character again, but then her character was made clear the last time you two had to duke it out over money.

It's your life, your choice, but is this what you want to teach your kids?

How can you have love without respect? How can you have respect without a basic sense of dignity? That's what you are teaching them.

If you believe this is a happy ending, then I feel sorry for your children.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[sbonomo]

My wife has put about 30k on the cc the last 6 months. I pay it in full every month because I ball so hard but FML. :(

Wat? You know Amex can cap spending on a card?

I don't know what you take home, but if it is less than at least $1M gross, you need to fix that.

If you earn $500k and come home with $300k, your wife is basically lighting 20% of your take home on fire a year.

30/6=5 5*12 = $60 - how does this equate to needing a $1MM job? My amex bill is easily that every month and i don't make anywhere near the $1MM.

 

[GOB]

My wife has put about 30k on the cc the last 6 months. I pay it in full every month because I ball so hard but FML. :(

Wat? You know Amex can cap spending on a card?

I don't know what you take home, but if it is less than at least $1M gross, you need to fix that.

If you earn $500k and come home with $300k, your wife is basically lighting 20% of your take home on fire a year.

30/6=5 5*12 = $60 - how does this equate to needing a $1MM job? My amex bill is easily that every month and i don't make anywhere near the $1MM.

Got to factor in your watch budget.

 

[fantasycurse42]

My wife has put about 30k on the cc the last 6 months. I pay it in full every month because I ball so hard but FML. :(

Wat? You know Amex can cap spending on a card?

I don't know what you take home, but if it is less than at least $1M gross, you need to fix that.

If you earn $500k and come home with $300k, your wife is basically lighting 20% of your take home on fire a year.

30/6=5 5*12 = $60 - how does this equate to needing a $1MM job? My amex bill is easily that every month and i don't make anywhere near the $1MM.

His statement leads you to believe that his wife is basically spending $5k a month shopping on non-essentials (shoes, clothes, etc.), that's at least how it read to me. It certainly doesn't read that she spent $30k in the last 6 months, but $20k went to jr's school tuition or something like that. $60k a year on nonsense would equal 20% of $500k gross/$300k net - That would be an abundance of compounding waste IMO. Even at 10%, I'd consider it obnoxious, but more bearable.