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Soooooooooooooooooooooooo (1 Viewer)

sorry about the pain, facial hair and taste buds, gb. easy to write off relative to everything else... but still a big deal, and hoping you come through the other side of all of it.

SO stoked about the diptet...dopetest...whatever the hell was negative. LOVE THAT.

but even more... great googly boogly that letter from Cal. :cry:   :wub:     :cry:

you should be so proud, gb... I just slapped floppinho in the noggin for not ever writing me anything as amazing at that.

continued love and devotion from NYC, gb. 

 
No idea how I missed this until now, but it looks like I played it right.  Missed most of the bad news/worry/stress, but got here in time for the happy ending I deserved (but maybe not the one I needed?  Hmm...sounds sorta wrong, but I'm leaving it. #Yolo). 

So, anyhoo... congrats on not dying, I guess.

<bro hug>

 
Last edited by a moderator:
St. Louis Bob said:
2.    I’m still exhausted pretty much all day, every day.  I continue to sleep 12+ hours but push myself every day to do something.  In November the oncologist told me it would be 3-6 months before I would start to return normal, and it has been 2 months to the day so it’s still early.  I’ll get there!
Click to expand...
You beat the living crap out of your body to eject the cancer.  I can see why it's giving you the finger every morning.  Slow, steady progress, man!

 
Awesome update Bob. Glad you don’t seem to have to worry about this for awhile, but I truly believe that the most valuable thing we leave behind when we die are the impacts we have on those around us. What an awesome gift from your son to let you know how much treasure you’ve filled him with.

 
Good news!  My scan from last Wednesday was as clean as the last in December!  I was deeply concerned about this one as I’ve felt especially exhausted and in pain the last 3-4 weeks.  I contacted one of the oncologists on my team on 2/24 because of this concern and was told it could take another year or longer until I’m back to normal.  I admit, that was a kick in the shins.  Right now, I’m running at about 50% most days and still experience crashes where I need to lie down and sometimes even fall asleep.  I have been doing light exercise and weightlifting as I could hoping to get strength back but was told to dial that way back.   The oncologist I saw today agreed with the other’s assessment.  I will just have to learn to keep living as I have been and not attack life so rigorously.  :)

Thank you again for all of your love and support!

Bob

 
St. Louis Bob said:
Good news!  My scan from last Wednesday was as clean as the last in December!  I was deeply concerned about this one as I’ve felt especially exhausted and in pain the last 3-4 weeks.  I contacted one of the oncologists on my team on 2/24 because of this concern and was told it could take another year or longer until I’m back to normal.  I admit, that was a kick in the shins.  Right now, I’m running at about 50% most days and still experience crashes where I need to lie down and sometimes even fall asleep.  I have been doing light exercise and weightlifting as I could hoping to get strength back but was told to dial that way back.   The oncologist I saw today agreed with the other’s assessment.  I will just have to learn to keep living as I have been and not attack life so rigorously.  :)

Thank you again for all of your love and support!

Bob
Click to expand...


Wow - I was just thinking about you earlier today and wondering how you are doing.  Great update! 

 
St. Louis Bob said:
Good news!  My scan from last Wednesday was as clean as the last in December!  I was deeply concerned about this one as I’ve felt especially exhausted and in pain the last 3-4 weeks.  I contacted one of the oncologists on my team on 2/24 because of this concern and was told it could take another year or longer until I’m back to normal.  I admit, that was a kick in the shins.  Right now, I’m running at about 50% most days and still experience crashes where I need to lie down and sometimes even fall asleep.  I have been doing light exercise and weightlifting as I could hoping to get strength back but was told to dial that way back.   The oncologist I saw today agreed with the other’s assessment.  I will just have to learn to keep living as I have been and not attack life so rigorously.  :)

Thank you again for all of your love and support!

Bob
Click to expand...
So good to hear. The timeframe of being back to “normal” sucks on one hand, but considering the large uncertainty of when this started, being told that you can be around and back to normal in a year seems like a blessing just the same.

 
St. Louis Bob said:
Thank you again for all of your love and support!
Click to expand...


oh wow bob

I had no idea what was on my "One Drive" ...I have never paid for it ...

my daughter sent me something and had to show me how to find it (easy ...but  :bag: )

do you know what was a main thing there?  

there was only 7-8 things that showed up ...the only picture

YOU with a Boise State t-shirt and long b-ball shorts ... LOL 

hope you are kicking ### man   :hifive:

 
I’ve been frequently asked lately how I’m doing which is much appreciated!   The effects of treatment have really taken a toll.  On my best days I’m at about 50% of where I was prior to this journey.  The truth is I’m tired and ache all over as if I hit the gym WAY too hard the day before.  I still tire easily but continue to do a minimal daily “workout” routine.  On top of that, I still have issues with memory.

Because of these issues I haven’t hesitated to contact my medical team.  In that regard it helps that my wife makes sure of this.  I do as I’m told because I’m afraid she’s going to have enough of me and leave me in a ditch somewhere. 😉  Last week I was informed it may be another year or longer until I’m back to 100%   To quote one of the doctors “we did some terrible things to you, it will take time. Listen to your body, take it easy”.

That’s the reason you haven’t heard from me in a while.  I’ve been thinking “just one more day, one more day, and I’m going to be fine.”  I wanted nothing more than to post an update declaring that I’m back and everything is great!  However, as I recently told a friend, my desires aren’t compatible with reality.  Story of my life!

Make no mistake, I continue to fight and attend rehab several times a week. Spirits are generally good thanks to the support from all of you. 

Please know, I know,  I’m SO LUCKY to be alive and on the right track!  Absolutely, positively, not looking for any sympathy.  It is what it is.

Thank you again for your love, support, and patience. You’ve been there for me, I am here for you.

Bob

 
All the love, Bob. 

Still so sorry you're going through all this ..but still love seeing the updates and the light at the end of the tunnel that doesn't involve ditches.

 
Yeah, Bob! 

You keep keepin' on and I promise not to get maudlin or mawkish. 

Solid, bro. Love from this quarter. There is a light there, isn't there? Keep reaching for it. 

 
Thanks all!

Man, we were supposed to have dinner at GBJason's house last Saturday but his wife wasn't feeling well.  Turns out she had covid and he got it too.  Sucks for them, they're feeling better, but dodged a freaking bullet there.  Man, stick a fork in me if if I get that. :lmao:

 
It has been quite some time since I’ve sent one of these out and for good reason. As I told a friend a few weeks ago, I’ve been hesitant because the last thing I want is be viewed as complaining or looking for sympathy. I so appreciate her and all of you for the texts and emails checking on me. So, here it goes! 😊

I wrote the following on 4.1.22:

Please know, I know, I’m SO LUCKY to be alive and on the right track! Absolutely, positively, not looking for any sympathy. It is what it is.

This still holds true but since May it has been difficult. I woke up around 3am on 5.1.22 in so much pain I just couldn’t handle it. I’ve never experienced anything like it. My neck, teeth, eye hurt so bad it was like somebody was purposely trying to inflict as much pain as they could on me. As my wife held me while I was in the fetal position screaming in agony, I passed out. Unfortunately, when I woke things weren’t any better. Long story short, it took 5 weeks, a lot of trial and error, but three fentanyl patches at once on top of methadone every 12 hours and antibiotics was the winning combination to get me back to where I was in April.

Not much scares me but it was terrifying. Particularly so because the oncology doctors on my team didn’t have an explanation for what could cause this. Then I experienced a repeat on 7.26.22. Once again as I was sleeping. Fortunately, I had patches, a refill of the antibiotic etc., and the worst of it only lasted 24 hours.

Circling back, after I started feeling better towards the end of June, I asked my team if they thought any of this may have to do with the pain meds I had been taking. The answer I received was there’s only one way to find out but that was up to me. Over the next 10 days I slowly weaned myself off. Unfortunately, I can unequivocally tell you that they aren’t the problem. I don’t like taking them for a myriad of reasons, and take as few as possible, but for now I couldn’t function at all without them. I hurt all the darn time, my memory is still frustrating me, and I’m usually sleepy again.

Doing my best Amazing Kreskin, you’re probably asking yourself what the heck I plan on doing about all of this! 😊 I have an appointment with an infectious disease expert in a few weeks. Hopefully, they will have some insight. I have another eye surgery scheduled for 9.9.22. Until then, please know, as promised, I’ve continued to fight. I push myself every day. That’s just me but also what I was instructed to do by the rehab folks. It obviously hasn’t helped so I’m going to try and rest as much as possible and see if that yields better results.

As always, thank you for being there for me. Your love and kindness are what keeps me going. Because of my friends and loved ones like you, it gives me the strength to continue fighting towards getting healthy again!
 
Bob, I know how you feel regarding the complaining/sympathy thing, but just know that there is absolutely nobody here who would ever think that of you.

I think we all understand if you don’t want to post updates because it’s a difficult reminder/acceptance of just how tough things are when you have to write it out, but I’m 100% positive that there are many of us that appreciate the updates so that we can do what little we can to help. Whether that is simply voicing care and compassion, sending care packages, praying for those that pray, whatever.

We all know that in the face of what you are dealing with, what we can offer is very little. And if what little we can offer is less than the pain/difficulty of giving an update, I think we all understand and just want what’s best for you.
 
I hope your team finds solutions, I really admire your strength, courage, and patience in dealing with all this. It sounds like you've got a great support system in place too. Hang tough.
 
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