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Stable life, meet college flame (1 Viewer)

Fbguser said:
McGarnicle said:
I think I read somewhere that relationships that start like this have about a 5% long-term success rate. You need to be honest with your wife, divorce if that's what's best, then get over that and reestablish yourself as a single person. Once you're fully over that failed marriage and you can give 100% of yourself to the new chick, then maybe you'll have a chance. But as someone else mentioned, I would expect there to be inherent trust issues since you cheated on your wife with her.
Click to expand...
We've discussed the bolded. I wont go into detail on the discussion since those who feel that in inevitable won't be swayed. I can understand that mindset.
Click to expand...
Oh, you've talked about it? I guess that won't be an issue then. </GeneWilderWillyWonka>

 
There is absolutely no reason or any good that will come of you telling your wife. If you want to leave her fine, but you don't have to crush her on the way out the door.

 
You sir are terrible... YOU HAVE NO KIDS!!!!

If married life isn't going well:

A) Seek help with your wife for counseling if you still care

B) Talk to your wife

C) GROW SOME BALLS AND GET A ####### DIVORCE - PRETTY ####### SIMPLE SINCE YOU HAVE NO KIDS... SPLIT ASSETS AND MOVE THE #### ON!!

 
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A weekend away is glamorous. A life raising two kids with a women whos morals are low enough to sleep with a married man is not.

Why do you not have kids? This plays an important role on whether things will work out with old flame.

Either way, start preparing to end it with wife.

 
Fbguser said:
Yes this is an alias account. Mostly a lurker, but better safe than sorry.

Starting with the basics. Mid 30's and in a decade-long marriage. No kids. We're happy and we get along great. Much like best friends and care about each other. However, the physical side of things started off decent and waned quickly from there. Deeper connection through conversation and shared interests is somewhat limited as well. At times it feels like we're just coasting through life on auto-pilot. She's an amazing woman and I realize the issues are likely partially my fault.

In college there was a girl, flame, with whom I was tight as it gets with for a couple years. Inseparable, really. Never dated for a variety of reasons on both sides, but there was always underlying chemistry. We lost touch after school and have been out of touch for about 15 years, give or take. Recently we reconnected (she's separated, divorce coming, 2 kids). Through a stream of texts and calls it has surfaced that we've both attempted to reconnect periodically over the years, and there has been a strong "what if" in the back of both of our minds. No doubt that the lack of connection with wife is at least partially due to always wondering about flame.

This past weekend we decided to meet up to see where things stood. She flew in Saturday afternoon with plans for dinner and drinks. We immediately clicked. Dinner was great. The following 18 hours were spent in bed alternating between great conversation, and easily the best sex of my life. We squeezed in about 2 hours of sleep total. Dropping her off the next afternoon was tough, and subsequent talks have gone over what happened, and where that leaves us.

I realize that this is textbook case of "shiny new thing, inflating past memories, jumping at anything that fills a current void, beware the fresh divorcee", etc. Everything rational screams run back home and cut contact. I get it. However, I come to the FFA asking: "does this sort of thing ever end up working?" Curious for 1st and 3rd -person experiences.

Important FBG info: Flame has much better cans (30f) than wife. Both are petite. Sorry, no pics.
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Numbers aren't really adding up.

Flame is 30. You haven't seen her for 15 years. You were tight as hell for a few years. You were in college.

Was she 13 back then? To be 18 back when you met (usually minimum college age) and 30 now it would have to be out of touch for 10 years max assuming a couple years is 2. Is she more than 30?

 
Niles Standish said:
Fbguser said:
Yes this is an alias account. Mostly a lurker, but better safe than sorry.

Starting with the basics. Mid 30's and in a decade-long marriage. No kids. We're happy and we get along great. Much like best friends and care about each other. However, the physical side of things started off decent and waned quickly from there. Deeper connection through conversation and shared interests is somewhat limited as well. At times it feels like we're just coasting through life on auto-pilot. She's an amazing woman and I realize the issues are likely partially my fault.

In college there was a girl, flame, with whom I was tight as it gets with for a couple years. Inseparable, really. Never dated for a variety of reasons on both sides, but there was always underlying chemistry. We lost touch after school and have been out of touch for about 15 years, give or take. Recently we reconnected (she's separated, divorce coming, 2 kids). Through a stream of texts and calls it has surfaced that we've both attempted to reconnect periodically over the years, and there has been a strong "what if" in the back of both of our minds. No doubt that the lack of connection with wife is at least partially due to always wondering about flame.

This past weekend we decided to meet up to see where things stood. She flew in Saturday afternoon with plans for dinner and drinks. We immediately clicked. Dinner was great. The following 18 hours were spent in bed alternating between great conversation, and easily the best sex of my life. We squeezed in about 2 hours of sleep total. Dropping her off the next afternoon was tough, and subsequent talks have gone over what happened, and where that leaves us.

I realize that this is textbook case of "shiny new thing, inflating past memories, jumping at anything that fills a current void, beware the fresh divorcee", etc. Everything rational screams run back home and cut contact. I get it. However, I come to the FFA asking: "does this sort of thing ever end up working?" Curious for 1st and 3rd -person experiences.

Important FBG info: Flame has much better cans (30f) than wife. Both are petite. Sorry, no pics.
Click to expand...
Numbers aren't really adding up.

Flame is 30. You haven't seen her for 15 years. You were tight as hell for a few years. You were in college.

Was she 13 back then? To be 18 back when you met (usually minimum college age) and 30 now it would have to be out of touch for 10 years max assuming a couple years is 2. Is she more than 30?
Click to expand...
Boobs, not age.

 
plot twist,

op went raw and will have a baby in 9 months

& introduces std to his wife

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I think you should marry the old flame, get good and attached to the kids, and then have her leave you for her ex husband. You are being an idiot.

 
TheIronSheik said:
Fbguser said:
McGarnicle said:
I think I read somewhere that relationships that start like this have about a 5% long-term success rate. You need to be honest with your wife, divorce if that's what's best, then get over that and reestablish yourself as a single person. Once you're fully over that failed marriage and you can give 100% of yourself to the new chick, then maybe you'll have a chance. But as someone else mentioned, I would expect there to be inherent trust issues since you cheated on your wife with her.
Click to expand...
We've discussed the bolded. I wont go into detail on the discussion since those who feel that in inevitable won't be swayed. I can understand that mindset.
Click to expand...
Oh, you've talked about it? I guess that won't be an issue then. </GeneWilderWillyWonka>
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
Al O said:
saintfool said:
yeah, you're not going to come out of this one clean. at least she is divorcing her spouse? she has a reason for acting out maybe.
Click to expand...
Yeah, she's trying to rope in a new everyday daddy for her two kids. Enjoy being a step daddy, OP.
Click to expand...
Yeah, this. You might like the taste of those 30 F's, but how about dealing with teenagers.

Yeah... PASS

 
Dentist said:
Al O said:
saintfool said:
yeah, you're not going to come out of this one clean. at least she is divorcing her spouse? she has a reason for acting out maybe.
Click to expand...
Yeah, she's trying to rope in a new everyday daddy for her two kids. Enjoy being a step daddy, OP.
Click to expand...
Yeah, this. You might like the taste of those 30 F's, but how about dealing with teenagers.

Yeah... PASS
Click to expand...
The kids are very young. I like kids. :shrug:

 
there is always wonder and doubt in relationships. i don't think anyone of us will begrudge you that part. you get into trouble when you sneak around.

 
wadegarrett said:
Niles Standish said:
Fbguser said:
Yes this is an alias account. Mostly a lurker, but better safe than sorry.

Starting with the basics. Mid 30's and in a decade-long marriage. No kids. We're happy and we get along great. Much like best friends and care about each other. However, the physical side of things started off decent and waned quickly from there. Deeper connection through conversation and shared interests is somewhat limited as well. At times it feels like we're just coasting through life on auto-pilot. She's an amazing woman and I realize the issues are likely partially my fault.

In college there was a girl, flame, with whom I was tight as it gets with for a couple years. Inseparable, really. Never dated for a variety of reasons on both sides, but there was always underlying chemistry. We lost touch after school and have been out of touch for about 15 years, give or take. Recently we reconnected (she's separated, divorce coming, 2 kids). Through a stream of texts and calls it has surfaced that we've both attempted to reconnect periodically over the years, and there has been a strong "what if" in the back of both of our minds. No doubt that the lack of connection with wife is at least partially due to always wondering about flame.

This past weekend we decided to meet up to see where things stood. She flew in Saturday afternoon with plans for dinner and drinks. We immediately clicked. Dinner was great. The following 18 hours were spent in bed alternating between great conversation, and easily the best sex of my life. We squeezed in about 2 hours of sleep total. Dropping her off the next afternoon was tough, and subsequent talks have gone over what happened, and where that leaves us.

I realize that this is textbook case of "shiny new thing, inflating past memories, jumping at anything that fills a current void, beware the fresh divorcee", etc. Everything rational screams run back home and cut contact. I get it. However, I come to the FFA asking: "does this sort of thing ever end up working?" Curious for 1st and 3rd -person experiences.

Important FBG info: Flame has much better cans (30f) than wife. Both are petite. Sorry, no pics.
Click to expand...
Numbers aren't really adding up.

Flame is 30. You haven't seen her for 15 years. You were tight as hell for a few years. You were in college.

Was she 13 back then? To be 18 back when you met (usually minimum college age) and 30 now it would have to be out of touch for 10 years max assuming a couple years is 2. Is she more than 30?
Click to expand...
Boobs, not age.
Click to expand...
Oh, wow. Hadn't even considered that. Then again I normally like slimmer women myself.

 
TheIronSheik said:
Baloney Sandwich said:
TheIronSheik said:
Baloney Sandwich said:
The faux outrage that these types of threads

always produce is interesting to me.
Click to expand...
It's sad that you think it's faux outrage.
Click to expand...
Why in the world would you be outraged that someone you don't know cheated on his wife?
Click to expand...
Because I'm a decent human being.
Click to expand...
You must constantly be in a state of outrage then when you read the news online and watch it on TV. There are thousands and thousands of people every day doing worse stuff.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
TheIronSheik said:
Baloney Sandwich said:
TheIronSheik said:
Baloney Sandwich said:
The faux outrage that these types of threads

always produce is interesting to me.
Click to expand...
It's sad that you think it's faux outrage.
Click to expand...
Why in the world would you be outraged that someone you don't know cheated on his wife?
Click to expand...
Because I'm a decent human being.
Click to expand...
You must constantly be in a state of outrage then when you read the news online and watch it on TV. There are thousands and thousands of people every day doing worse stuff.
Click to expand...
The dialogue involved here makes it a bit more personal than hearing a news report.

I'm with IS on this one. Cheating on a spouse is a bad, bad deal 100% of the time.

 
Jayrod said:
Baloney Sandwich said:
TheIronSheik said:
Baloney Sandwich said:
TheIronSheik said:
Baloney Sandwich said:
The faux outrage that these types of threads

always produce is interesting to me.
Click to expand...
It's sad that you think it's faux outrage.
Click to expand...
Why in the world would you be outraged that someone you don't know cheated on his wife?
Click to expand...
Because I'm a decent human being.
Click to expand...
You must constantly be in a state of outrage then when you read the news online and watch it on TV. There are thousands and thousands of people every day doing worse stuff.
Click to expand...
The dialogue involved here makes it a bit more personal than hearing a news report.

I'm with IS on this one. Cheating on a spouse is a bad, bad deal 100% of the time.
Click to expand...
Exactly.

 
Fbguser said:
In college there was a girl, flame, with whom I was tight as it gets with for a couple years. Inseparable, really. Never dated for a variety of reasons on both sides, but there was always underlying chemistry. We lost touch after school and have been out of touch for about 15 years, give or take. Recently we reconnected (she's separated, divorce coming, 2 kids).
Click to expand...
BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD SIGN. This chick is just using you to get through her divorce. Once her head clears, she'll realize why she never wanted to date you in the first place. 

 
brohans times were that when you stood up in a church and took a vow in front of your family and hers and all your friends and the big kahuna himself it meant half a damn but the more i live the more i see that all it takes is a few clicks with some old pantscandy on a mytwitter or facebook and bam all that goes to hell it is a pretty sad state if you ask me take that to the bank brohans

 
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