Suicide (2 Viewers)

[MikeIke]

This may sound trite and almost certainly sounds stupid, but reading this thread every once in a while helps me out. There are times I feel very stressed and very sad and I think I'm depressed. Then I read this and see what some of you are dealing with and how true depression is a serous mental issue and it's not just being stressed and sad, it's a very serious thing and I have no idea what it is like and I feel better. I hope this makes sense. I'm pretty drunk and if it turns out I'm being offensive or a moron I will delete tomorrow. I do think this thread is great for those who need it, and sometimes I do.

Frosty I, for one, anm in no way offended. What you say makes a lot of sense. There's a big difference between being "down in the dumps" and being depressed. If this of you who aren't depressed need a thread like this to be reminded that things aren't that bad, then so be it.

 

[seahawk 17]

If you know someone who verbally states that they are depressed and walks the suicide line, what is the course of action?

 

[Hawks64]

If you know someone who verbally states that they are depressed and walks the suicide line, what is the course of action?

I would talk to them as best as you can and then involve their family to the best of your ability. If not family do what you can to get them to right people to help them.

 

[cstu]

If you know someone who verbally states that they are depressed and walks the suicide line, what is the course of action?

IMO it's actually to help them set up an appointment with a psychiatrist and get them there. When you're depressed the last thing you want to do is call to set up an appointment and worry about insurance. The tiniest things seem like huge obstacles.

 

[CurlyNight]

If you know someone who verbally states that they are depressed and walks the suicide line, what is the course of action?

Help get him help while being extremely supportive, non judgemental and compassionate. Don't try and tell him it shall pass or give any advice as that could make it worse- that no one gets it. Whoever he is closest too should become even closer now. Check on him daily or more. If he's really doing poorly, he shouldn't be left alone. I've told a sad tale in here somewhere about bro's bff who called him saying all is well now and the next day offed himself. He was left alone too long and shouldn't have been despite his protest to leave him alone.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I looked around today and realized I'm back in a deep depression. I don't know how long it's been going on - but long enough that I can't remember what it's like to feel normal. It's simultaneously the best and worst feeling to look around and realize why these thoughts are constant again. Wonderful because at least I remembered that these are signs of a problem before I put a gun in my mouth again. Terrible because every time I get out I'm convinced I can somehow keep from getting back here again - that place where every song brings tears to my eyes, and I remember every terrible thing I've ever done, and the idea of drawing another breath just seems... Exhausting.

A client of mine died yesterday. I can't help thinking if I could have made things better faster she wouldn't have killed herself. And her two kids wouldn't be in foster care. And I need a #######ed drink.

I hope you're all doing better than this. There's no need to worry, I'll be around in the morning. Just being a bit of a drama queen. Online and anonymous is kind of the only place I can do that.

I'd like to stop being responsible for awhile.

I've been there before, myself, GB. If you ever need to just vent, hit me up with a PM.

 

[BowieMercs]

Depression sucks. You can't will your way out of it, please talk to someone & get help. Lotta sympathetic ears here. Just sayin.

 

[Henry Ford]

If you know someone who verbally states that they are depressed and walks the suicide line, what is the course of action?

I think the IWillListen campaign and the RUOK campaign have some pages that discuss ways to help.

 

[johnnycakes]

It's amazing how much of my depression can be controlled with the right meds.... I just added 10mg Abilify a couple of weeks ago... makes a huge difference. I mean, I'm still not gushing over with joy but I'm not thinking of killing myself every day anymore, either. With me, the talk therapy only helps a little... the big thing is managing those meds; if they're where they're supposed to be, I'll be feeling fine regardless of what else is going on.

That's just me, though.

 

[CurlyNight]

It's amazing how much of my depression can be controlled with the right meds.... I just added 10mg Abilify a couple of weeks ago... makes a huge difference. I mean, I'm still not gushing over with joy but I'm not thinking of killing myself every day anymore, either. With me, the talk therapy only helps a little... the big thing is managing those meds; if they're where they're supposed to be, I'll be feeling fine regardless of what else is going on.

That's just me, though.

Great to hear you finally found the right combo! It's so hard to find and takes so very long for so many as what meds works for someone else with the 'same' diagnosis may not work for you. The problem is many people don't fall into having this or that only as the mental field has many shades of gray, unlike physical medicine. Then you have meds to deal with this very shades of gray field and finding combos. It's quite taxing for all involved.

Talk therapy doesn't do it for many, not just you. The key for you now that you are stabilized is working on your mind, which is really what talk therapy (cognitive behavioural therapy) is about. Only you don't need to see a therapist for that. You can get a good book that teaches those skills. There are some other books that are great to read that I mentioned in the Dr. Wayne Dyer died thread somewhere here as well. Some books have workbooks where you do what the therapist would have you practice doing.

The thing is that meds are always only 1/2 the battle. The other 1/2 is changing the way you view unpleasant situations/tragedies in your life, and managing not to slide down but at least to maintain even keel through these challenging times.

I wish you the best my friend. I'm always available in pm or by phone if you or anyone here wants to chat. Just let me know! X

 

[-arcK-]

My best friend was texting me earlier this evening that he was going to end his life, apparently he and his gf called it quits. I called and called and called, he wouldn't answer. Finally some guy he had barely met at a bar called me and said he was worried about my friend, but he was watching over him and would make sure he was ok. My friend finally called me back later and was an incoherent mess. I didn't want to talk sense into him, just have him tell me how he was feeling and be understanding and tell him it's ok to have these feelings. But it was impossible to even have a simple exchange in that condition and he hung up right away.

I'm just letting my emotions out. I don't know if this is the right thread. But if he would have followed through I would have been crushed. I kept calling and texting but got no reply. He lives across state so I felt powerless. thankfully his now ex-gf just texted me and said he was escorted back home and is still alive. At least I can go to sleep now knowing I'll be able to reach out to him again tomorrow. Phew.

Not sure the point of this, just hopefully those of you who are down and feeling suicidal might get a sense of how much you'd be missed. No matter how worthless you feel, there's someone who thinks you're worth the world. Ok I'm done venting and preaching.

 

[Wooderson]

My best friend was texting me earlier this evening that he was going to end his life, apparently he and his gf called it quits. I called and called and called, he wouldn't answer. Finally some guy he had barely met at a bar called me and said he was worried about my friend, but he was watching over him and would make sure he was ok. My friend finally called me back later and was an incoherent mess. I didn't want to talk sense into him, just have him tell me how he was feeling and be understanding and tell him it's ok to have these feelings. But it was impossible to even have a simple exchange in that condition and he hung up right away.

I'm just letting my emotions out. I don't know if this is the right thread. But if he would have followed through I would have been crushed. I kept calling and texting but got no reply. He lives across state so I felt powerless. thankfully his now ex-gf just texted me and said he was escorted back home and is still alive. At least I can go to sleep now knowing I'll be able to reach out to him again tomorrow. Phew.

Not sure the point of this, just hopefully those of you who are down and feeling suicidal might get a sense of how much you'd be missed. No matter how worthless you feel, there's someone who thinks you're worth the world. Ok I'm done venting and preaching.

If at all possible go see him as soon as you can. How many miles are we talking?

 

[BowieMercs]

This was yesterday. https://www.afsp.org/local-chapters/find-your-local-chapter/afsp-national-capital-area/upcoming-chapter-events/fairfax-nova-walk Niceto see the local news picked it up. Lost a friend to suicide in the 70s & the prevailing attitude then was "he should have manned up". Baby steps.

 

[3C's]

This was yesterday. https://www.afsp.org/local-chapters/find-your-local-chapter/afsp-national-capital-area/upcoming-chapter-events/fairfax-nova-walk Niceto see the local news picked it up. Lost a friend to suicide in the 70s & the prevailing attitude then was "he should have manned up". Baby steps.

:( http://rvabeermeister.com/2015/09/14/richmond-breweries-to-walk-out-of-the-darkness-in-honor-of-hardin-brotherton-saturday/

 

[-arcK-]

My best friend was texting me earlier this evening that he was going to end his life, apparently he and his gf called it quits. I called and called and called, he wouldn't answer. Finally some guy he had barely met at a bar called me and said he was worried about my friend, but he was watching over him and would make sure he was ok. My friend finally called me back later and was an incoherent mess. I didn't want to talk sense into him, just have him tell me how he was feeling and be understanding and tell him it's ok to have these feelings. But it was impossible to even have a simple exchange in that condition and he hung up right away.

I'm just letting my emotions out. I don't know if this is the right thread. But if he would have followed through I would have been crushed. I kept calling and texting but got no reply. He lives across state so I felt powerless. thankfully his now ex-gf just texted me and said he was escorted back home and is still alive. At least I can go to sleep now knowing I'll be able to reach out to him again tomorrow. Phew.

Not sure the point of this, just hopefully those of you who are down and feeling suicidal might get a sense of how much you'd be missed. No matter how worthless you feel, there's someone who thinks you're worth the world. Ok I'm done venting and preaching.

If at all possible go see him as soon as you can. How many miles are we talking?

750-800 or so.

He called me this morning, and did not respond when I said hello. I held on for a few seconds and then heard him snoring; thank goodness. He's going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up.

 

[wazoo11]

My best friend was texting me earlier this evening that he was going to end his life, apparently he and his gf called it quits. I called and called and called, he wouldn't answer. Finally some guy he had barely met at a bar called me and said he was worried about my friend, but he was watching over him and would make sure he was ok. My friend finally called me back later and was an incoherent mess. I didn't want to talk sense into him, just have him tell me how he was feeling and be understanding and tell him it's ok to have these feelings. But it was impossible to even have a simple exchange in that condition and he hung up right away.

I'm just letting my emotions out. I don't know if this is the right thread. But if he would have followed through I would have been crushed. I kept calling and texting but got no reply. He lives across state so I felt powerless. thankfully his now ex-gf just texted me and said he was escorted back home and is still alive. At least I can go to sleep now knowing I'll be able to reach out to him again tomorrow. Phew.

Not sure the point of this, just hopefully those of you who are down and feeling suicidal might get a sense of how much you'd be missed. No matter how worthless you feel, there's someone who thinks you're worth the world. Ok I'm done venting and preaching.

The world needs more first responders in managing crisis situations and preventing or responding to suicide.

 

[Phil Elliott]

Looking for some advice here to help a friend. He owns a boutique shop in Austin. He seems to be having, what I am going to describe as a nervous breakdown. something happened to him about 6 weeks ago and he has been in a downward spiral since. Forgetting things, worried about losing everything (basically his shop is all he has), despair, very paranoid the local building admin wants to terminate his lease (although he mentioned he always pays the monthly bills). Feels trapped in his business as he has been there every day for years and doesn't have any help and never takes a vacation. I know he is getting some therapy help from the county. I asked him if I could call his daughter, and he said yes and gave me her number. I left a message with her today. He is a brilliant person, maybe too smart, as he is playing out whatever is happening to him physically/mentally and is worried about everything. Seems the focus is on his failing mental capacities. He has no family in the state. 90 year old mother lives out West and a daughter that lives out East. He seems very worried about dying. Any advice would be appreciated. Thx.

Hopefully his dau gets back to you and they have a close relationship. Support is crucial when you feel you are going down, and if you can be a good one as his friend, that would be really good for him. It can get tough and ugly as I can attest from experience with my cousin in my guardianship, but you have to think of it as quite possibly saving your friend's mental life at the very least. That alone is rewarding for me even though there are so many times I just want to "quit" because after a few years, it wears on you very thin no matter who it is.

He's got himself a lot of negativity going on with his thoughts and I'm not sure if it really is all the dire as he puts it. Sounds like he's more frustrated than on the edge to me, but it's of course a wild guess being I don't know him. Best to err on it could be serious and keep tabs on him as your friend. The forgetting things is due to his depression. Lift that and the memory should approve. Maybe he can have a chat about his lease to get that worry out of the way. If it's not going to be renewed, start planning for that day. If it is, make plans on what you really want to do with your biz. That seems to be the 1st thing to get straightened out before you embark on the owning your own biz woes. You can try and point out all the stuff he has going for him to see if that helps, but I suspect you will get a bunch of yes buts. The best thing you can do as I mentioned is support him and keep tabs on him, especially with no family nearby. GL!

Looks like this turned out very positive so far...After this initial post I kept visiting him and he started talking about he was past the moral decision and was thinking how to end his life and just didn't want to screw it up. He talked about not filling customer orders because he probably wouldn't be around to care after the weekend. I called 911 (and his daughter) and the police and county assistance came by and talked to him for about 3 hours. I don't know if that brought him back to reality or not but he said he was fine and they left. My wife and I were ready to keep his shop open if we had to just to keep it open, since that is literally all he has. He continued to talk to the county assistance for probably about 6-8 weeks and went on some meds for a few weeks. I have continued to stop in every week and he seems to be back to his old self and much stronger emotionally.

This guy thought he was losing everything and didn't see a way out. For those of you struggling out there, please hang on. There is hope and things will get better.

 

[johnnycakes]

My best friend was texting me earlier this evening that he was going to end his life, apparently he and his gf called it quits. I called and called and called, he wouldn't answer. Finally some guy he had barely met at a bar called me and said he was worried about my friend, but he was watching over him and would make sure he was ok. My friend finally called me back later and was an incoherent mess. I didn't want to talk sense into him, just have him tell me how he was feeling and be understanding and tell him it's ok to have these feelings. But it was impossible to even have a simple exchange in that condition and he hung up right away.

I'm just letting my emotions out. I don't know if this is the right thread. But if he would have followed through I would have been crushed. I kept calling and texting but got no reply. He lives across state so I felt powerless. thankfully his now ex-gf just texted me and said he was escorted back home and is still alive. At least I can go to sleep now knowing I'll be able to reach out to him again tomorrow. Phew.

Not sure the point of this, just hopefully those of you who are down and feeling suicidal might get a sense of how much you'd be missed. No matter how worthless you feel, there's someone who thinks you're worth the world. Ok I'm done venting and preaching.

If at all possible go see him as soon as you can. How many miles are we talking?

750-800 or so.

He called me this morning, and did not respond when I said hello. I held on for a few seconds and then heard him snoring; thank goodness. He's going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up.

All I can tell you is that I made a 100% legit attempt at suicide. I never threatened suicide. After the fact I was talking with my pcp: Pcp: if you ever feel like that be sure to call someone

Me: if I feel like that why would I call someone? Kind of a catch-22 isn't it?

[ie if I really want to end my life, what's the point in calling anyone? I've already made up my mind and I don't want to be talked out of it. Why call anyone?]

Pcp: I get it. But you have to have some kind of a safety valve.

Me:

 

[rockaction]

My best friend was texting me earlier this evening that he was going to end his life, apparently he and his gf called it quits. I called and called and called, he wouldn't answer. Finally some guy he had barely met at a bar called me and said he was worried about my friend, but he was watching over him and would make sure he was ok. My friend finally called me back later and was an incoherent mess. I didn't want to talk sense into him, just have him tell me how he was feeling and be understanding and tell him it's ok to have these feelings. But it was impossible to even have a simple exchange in that condition and he hung up right away.

I'm just letting my emotions out. I don't know if this is the right thread. But if he would have followed through I would have been crushed. I kept calling and texting but got no reply. He lives across state so I felt powerless. thankfully his now ex-gf just texted me and said he was escorted back home and is still alive. At least I can go to sleep now knowing I'll be able to reach out to him again tomorrow. Phew.

Not sure the point of this, just hopefully those of you who are down and feeling suicidal might get a sense of how much you'd be missed. No matter how worthless you feel, there's someone who thinks you're worth the world. Ok I'm done venting and preaching.

If at all possible go see him as soon as you can. How many miles are we talking?

750-800 or so.

He called me this morning, and did not respond when I said hello. I held on for a few seconds and then heard him snoring; thank goodness. He's going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up.

All I can tell you is that I made a 100% legit attempt at suicide. I never threatened suicide. After the fact I was talking with my pcpcp: if you ever feel like that be sure to call someone

Me: if I feel like that why would I call someone? Kind of a catch-22 isn't it?

[ie if I really want to end my life, what's the point in calling anyone? I've already made up my mind and I don't want to be talked out of it. Why call anyone?]

Pcp: I get it. But you have to have some kind of a safety valve.

Me:

Jesus. johnnycakes. You're too ####### fun to not be with us anymore. Do it for the kids?

This is an ignorant comment, but what else will help?

 

[CurlyNight]

Looking for some advice here to help a friend. He owns a boutique shop in Austin. He seems to be having, what I am going to describe as a nervous breakdown. something happened to him about 6 weeks ago and he has been in a downward spiral since. Forgetting things, worried about losing everything (basically his shop is all he has), despair, very paranoid the local building admin wants to terminate his lease (although he mentioned he always pays the monthly bills). Feels trapped in his business as he has been there every day for years and doesn't have any help and never takes a vacation. I know he is getting some therapy help from the county. I asked him if I could call his daughter, and he said yes and gave me her number. I left a message with her today. He is a brilliant person, maybe too smart, as he is playing out whatever is happening to him physically/mentally and is worried about everything. Seems the focus is on his failing mental capacities. He has no family in the state. 90 year old mother lives out West and a daughter that lives out East. He seems very worried about dying. Any advice would be appreciated. Thx.

Hopefully his dau gets back to you and they have a close relationship. Support is crucial when you feel you are going down, and if you can be a good one as his friend, that would be really good for him. It can get tough and ugly as I can attest from experience with my cousin in my guardianship, but you have to think of it as quite possibly saving your friend's mental life at the very least. That alone is rewarding for me even though there are so many times I just want to "quit" because after a few years, it wears on you very thin no matter who it is.

He's got himself a lot of negativity going on with his thoughts and I'm not sure if it really is all the dire as he puts it. Sounds like he's more frustrated than on the edge to me, but it's of course a wild guess being I don't know him. Best to err on it could be serious and keep tabs on him as your friend. The forgetting things is due to his depression. Lift that and the memory should approve. Maybe he can have a chat about his lease to get that worry out of the way. If it's not going to be renewed, start planning for that day. If it is, make plans on what you really want to do with your biz. That seems to be the 1st thing to get straightened out before you embark on the owning your own biz woes. You can try and point out all the stuff he has going for him to see if that helps, but I suspect you will get a bunch of yes buts. The best thing you can do as I mentioned is support him and keep tabs on him, especially with no family nearby. GL!

Looks like this turned out very positive so far...After this initial post I kept visiting him and he started talking about he was past the moral decision and was thinking how to end his life and just didn't want to screw it up. He talked about not filling customer orders because he probably wouldn't be around to care after the weekend. I called 911 (and his daughter) and the police and county assistance came by and talked to him for about 3 hours. I don't know if that brought him back to reality or not but he said he was fine and they left. My wife and I were ready to keep his shop open if we had to just to keep it open, since that is literally all he has. He continued to talk to the county assistance for probably about 6-8 weeks and went on some meds for a few weeks. I have continued to stop in every week and he seems to be back to his old self and much stronger emotionally.

This guy thought he was losing everything and didn't see a way out. For those of you struggling out there, please hang on. There is hope and things will get better.

So glad to hear!

 

[simey]

Black and Blue

 

[cstu]

Black and Blue

It's a bad song but not worth killing yourself over.

 

[simey]

Black and Blue

It's a bad song but not worth killing yourself over.

The song has helped some people, but I can't imagine your negative energy has.

 

[Slapdash]

I PM'd badmojo a couple weeks ago and is not read. Hope they're doing ok... :(

 

[Spin]

I PM'd badmojo a couple weeks ago and is not read. Hope they're doing ok... :(

Same. I posted up thread about my concerns.. anyone heard from him?

 

[cstu]

Black and Blue

It's a bad song but not worth killing yourself over.

The song has helped some people, but I can't imagine your negative energy has.

Sense of humor down?

 

[3C's]

This was yesterday. https://www.afsp.org/local-chapters/find-your-local-chapter/afsp-national-capital-area/upcoming-chapter-events/fairfax-nova-walk Niceto see the local news picked it up. Lost a friend to suicide in the 70s & the prevailing attitude then was "he should have manned up". Baby steps.

:( http://rvabeermeister.com/2015/09/14/richmond-breweries-to-walk-out-of-the-darkness-in-honor-of-hardin-brotherton-saturday/

Joined in the walk here this past Saturday. Glad I did, it was a bit cathartic even after all the years. Made my fundraising goal too (asked family to donate in lieu of bday gifts). Oddly, I decided to look through an old storage chest and came across a bday card from my sister, which would have been the last I'd get from her.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

 

[AAABatteries]

Really sorry DD.

 

[Chaos Commish]

:(

 

[CurlyNight]

Sorry to hear about your good friend, DD. But I don't know any suicidals who aren't severely depressed. You'd be amazed how well they can hide it. The appear happy, positive and "normal" in front of everyone, but alone they are very alone. That's why you hear people say they had no idea, he didn't look like he was suffering. You have to be at the point where you don't see a way up and the pain is so great to actually pull the trigger. May he RIP. :(

 

[johnnycakes]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

We can be very good at covering up our feelings and putting on a really good front. Very few people, if any at all, get to know the real us. Just ask my shrink.

 

[fred_1_15301]

Sorry DD

 

[CurlyNight]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

We can be very good at covering up our feelings and putting on a really good front. Very few people, if any at all, get to know the real us. Just ask my shrink.

Hope things are going better for you. X

 

[shadyridr]

You may not want my sympathy but ya got it. Sorry for your loss DD

 

[SWC]

sorry to hear it dd best wishes

 

[Mr.Pack]

Damn DD. I can't imagine. So sorry for your loss.

Hang in there.

 

[Henry Ford]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

DD - I'm sorry for your loss. And he probably was one of the most troubled or depressed. As Johnny mentioned, most people don't know what we're really feeling inside, those of us who are/have been on the brink. We zip up our person suits in the morning to cover up what we feel like, go out and play human being for the day. We know no one wants to deal with what we are dealing with - most of us have heard it all our lives. So we don't make you. And it's exhausting. But I can tell you definitively, as someone who has been, at times, suicidally depressed and anxious, there wasn't a single person in my life who even knew.

 

[BowieMercs]

Condolences, t&p to you & his family, DD

 

[bigbottom]

So sorry to hear of your friend's passing, DD.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

We can be very good at covering up our feelings and putting on a really good front. Very few people, if any at all, get to know the real us. Just ask my shrink.

This is exactly right. I used to always think that if I had succeeded not one of my friends would have expected it. And I'm sure they would have had no clue why I had done it.

 

[El Floppo]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

DD - I'm sorry for your loss. And he probably was one of the most troubled or depressed. As Johnny mentioned, most people don't know what we're really feeling inside, those of us who are/have been on the brink. We zip up our person suits in the morning to cover up what we feel like, go out and play human being for the day. We know no one wants to deal with what we are dealing with - most of us have heard it all our lives. So we don't make you. And it's exhausting. But I can tell you definitively, as someone who has been, at times, suicidally depressed and anxious, there wasn't a single person in my life who even knew.

sorry for your loss DD... and as a dad- woof- I can't imagine what he was going through to get that point. I had a gb lose his dad to this- and to this day he's pissed at his dad about it. pretty massive pain and damage to leave behind to those closest to you.

but yeah- similar, but a little counter to Henry, I have a couple of externally happy and positive people in my life (myself included) who are also clinically depressed- but I only know because it's somehow come up and we've discussed it. Not something that any of these people (or myself) wear on our sleeves or openly discuss- even with our closest friends. And at this point, even a casual "how's it going?" with these folk becomes a seriously loaded question.

 

[The_Man]

DD, very sorry to hear that.

 

[Chaos Commish]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

DD - I'm sorry for your loss. And he probably was one of the most troubled or depressed. As Johnny mentioned, most people don't know what we're really feeling inside, those of us who are/have been on the brink. We zip up our person suits in the morning to cover up what we feel like, go out and play human being for the day. We know no one wants to deal with what we are dealing with - most of us have heard it all our lives. So we don't make you. And it's exhausting. But I can tell you definitively, as someone who has been, at times, suicidally depressed and anxious, there wasn't a single person in my life who even knew.

sorry for your loss DD... and as a dad- woof- I can't imagine what he was going through to get that point. I had a gb lose his dad to this- and to this day he's pissed at his dad about it. pretty massive pain and damage to leave behind to those closest to you.

but yeah- similar, but a little counter to Henry, I have a couple of externally happy and positive people in my life (myself included) who are also clinically depressed- but I only know because it's somehow come up and we've discussed it. Not something that any of these people (or myself) wear on our sleeves or openly discuss- even with our closest friends. And at this point, even a casual "how's it going?" with these folk becomes a seriously loaded question.

Good for you that discuss it. Henry far far far be it from me to tell you how to go about anything, but consider always finding someone to talk to. The simplest honest conversations seem to bring relief. Sorry if this didn't need to be said, you have excellent self-awareness.

 

[Henry Ford]

Good friend killed himself this morning, really blindsided us all. He was a well respected member of the Air Force, has three adult children one graduating college in the spring, and just had bought a house a few months back. He was having marriage issues but he has had those for as long as I've known him. We were in Iraq together, we drank Scotch together, and had a lot of long talks about life and ####. I don't think he was depressed, I mean clinically anyway. He was one of the happier and most positive guys I've ever known, which makes this even harder to understand.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything and that's not the purpose of this post, I'm just here to say that after what happened I'm now of a different mindset about suicide. I use to think only the most troubled or depressed can get caught up in it, but now I know that is not true. I'm pretty mad at him for leaving his 3 kids this way, but I also have no idea what was going on inside him today. He's like one of the last people I could have thought would do this, and now it's done. Just a lot of sadness and questions that will never be answered. Sucks. Must be really terrible being in the mindset of suicide, I feel bad for anyone having had to deal with this in their life.

DD - I'm sorry for your loss. And he probably was one of the most troubled or depressed. As Johnny mentioned, most people don't know what we're really feeling inside, those of us who are/have been on the brink. We zip up our person suits in the morning to cover up what we feel like, go out and play human being for the day. We know no one wants to deal with what we are dealing with - most of us have heard it all our lives. So we don't make you. And it's exhausting. But I can tell you definitively, as someone who has been, at times, suicidally depressed and anxious, there wasn't a single person in my life who even knew.

sorry for your loss DD... and as a dad- woof- I can't imagine what he was going through to get that point. I had a gb lose his dad to this- and to this day he's pissed at his dad about it. pretty massive pain and damage to leave behind to those closest to you.

but yeah- similar, but a little counter to Henry, I have a couple of externally happy and positive people in my life (myself included) who are also clinically depressed- but I only know because it's somehow come up and we've discussed it. Not something that any of these people (or myself) wear on our sleeves or openly discuss- even with our closest friends. And at this point, even a casual "how's it going?" with these folk becomes a seriously loaded question.

Good for you that discuss it. Henry far far far be it from me to tell you how to go about anything, but consider always finding someone to talk to. The simplest honest conversations seem to bring relief. Sorry if this didn't need to be said, you have excellent self-awareness.

I appreciate the sentiment. One thing you'll find is that most suicidal people are excruciatingly self-aware.

 

[bosoxs45]

Started doing CBT, going to therapy and taking anti-depressant meds.

Feels good to be happy for once.

 

[bosoxs45]

So sorry to hear of your friend's passing, DD.

 

[MikeIke]

Started doing CBT, going to therapy and taking anti-depressant meds.

Feels good to be happy for once.

Glad to hear it. Sorry if I missed an earlier post of yours, what are you doing g CBT for? Are you bipolar? Borderline? My wife is both , and she started with CBT but ended it pretty quickly. I wish you the best of luck, and believe me when I say if you need to vent, use the FFA. There are a lot of people here who have been through it, myself included.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Thank you for the kind words. I still don't have the specifics but he definitely had marital issues, and IMO it had to do with his impending departure from the Air Force which he would have been lost without.

My other friend who was in the field with me in Afghanistan when stuff went bad a few times, asked if he had PTSD or another identified condition. I just don't know the answer to that. I had PTSD (still do they say) pretty bad when I got out of the military, leading me to do really reckless and dangerous things. But I never considered taking my life, even when the #### got really bad about ten years ago.

Looking back on it my life was complicated and I had a lot of balls in the air, but it's nothing a normal person can't deal with...at least struggle through. But the PTSD amplified the pain and the circumstances making them seem bigger than they probably were. Also looking back, I brought a lot of the stuff on myself with poor decision making and lifestyle choices. Part of that was going from Afghanistan/Iraq were I spent almost two years, to Flint, Michigan. Believe it or not, you can't find the trouble in Flint you can find in Mosul. But I was looking for it anyway.

This guy was a Command Chief Master Sergeant in the Air Force, he had endless followers both formally and informally. He had a positive vibe, he was logical, and he didn't take things as seriously as some of his uptight contemporaries. I think he was extremely well adjusted, didn't have the combat stuff I had, and had about as good a career as any one person can have wearing the uniform. It's such a shame, and everyone who knew him is just floored by this.

His wife left a Facebook message today saying to remember all the good times and have a Scotch and cigar for him tonight. I think I'll go do that now.

 

[cstu]

We can be very good at covering up our feelings and putting on a really good front. Very few people, if any at all, get to know the real us. Just ask my shrink.

What's your reason for not being honest with your doctor?