The 30 Harshest Filmmaker-on-Filmmaker Insults In History (1 Viewer)

[jdoggydogg]

The 30 Harshest Filmmaker-on-Filmmaker Insults In History

 

[jdoggydogg]

Nick Broomfield on Quentin Tarantino:

“It’s like watching a schoolboy’s fantasy of violence and sex, which normally Quentin Tarantino would be wanking alone to in his bedroom while this mother is making his baked beans downstairs. Only this time he’s got Harvey Weinstein behind him and it’s on at a million screens.”

Ummmmm...Nick who?

 

[jdoggydogg]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

“Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith.”

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to “I would never read a comic book”):

“Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman.”

 

[hooter311]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

“Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith.”

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to “I would never read a comic book”):

“Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman.”

Hilarious.Burton thinking he is better than Smith because he is a different kind of freak.

 

[Abrantes]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

“Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith.”

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to “I would never read a comic book”):

“Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman.”

Yup, this was from Smith's hilarious account of his involvement with Superman Returns in "An Evening With Kevin Smith". Freakin' awesome.Also, Vincent Gallo is an insufferable jackass.

 

[Charlie Frown]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

“Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith.”

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to “I would never read a comic book”):

“Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman.”

 

[GroveDiesel]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

 

[badmojo1006]

11. Spike Lee on Tyler Perry:

“We got a black president, and we going back to Mantan Moreland and Sleep ‘n’ Eat?”

12. Tyler Perry on Spike Lee

“Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that… Spike needs to shut the hell up!”

13. Clint Eastwood on Spike Lee:

“A guy like him should shut his face.”

 

[jdoggydogg]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

"Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith."

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to "I would never read a comic book"):

"Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman."

Hilarious.Burton thinking he is better than Smith because he is a different kind of freak.

There's nothing more boring than pedantic behavior.

 

[jdoggydogg]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

Ok. But the difference is no one knows or cares about the guys in your league.

 

[jdoggydogg]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

"Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith."

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to "I would never read a comic book"):

"Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman."

Yup, this was from Smith's hilarious account of his involvement with Superman Returns in "An Evening With Kevin Smith". Freakin' awesome.Also, Vincent Gallo is an insufferable jackass.

Isn't he just?

 

[jdoggydogg]

There's a classic Shaw-Churchill exchange.George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one." Churchill to Shaw: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."

That is awesome.

 

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

"Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith."

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to "I would never read a comic book"):

"Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman."

Yup, this was from Smith's hilarious account of his involvement with Superman Returns in "An Evening With Kevin Smith". Freakin' awesome.Also, Vincent Gallo is an insufferable jackass.

Isn't he just?

Vincent Gallo it seems is in about 1/2 the list. I am an above average movie goer, but had to google his name.Here is the list of movies in which he was the Writer or director:

Promises Written in Water (2010)

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Buffalo ’66 (1998)

Before someone opens their mouth and criticize someone else they need to have some success in the field in order to lend credence to their opinion; upon viewing this list VG has none.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

Ok. But the difference is no one knows or cares about the guys in your league.

And I doubt many people care about this list or even made it all the way through. Are we supposed to be surprised that some people in Hollywood hate other people in Hollywood? The only surprise is how incredibly boring and uncreative their insults are to each other. It's about as much fun to read as listening to a couple of 4 year olds call each other names.

 

[Smack Tripper]

Uwe boll: "I'm not a ####### like Michael Bay"

I'm going to need some sort of proof here Uwe. MB looks like a genius next to this hack, at least Bay did the Rock.

 

[jdoggydogg]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

"Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith."

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to "I would never read a comic book"):

"Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman."

Yup, this was from Smith's hilarious account of his involvement with Superman Returns in "An Evening With Kevin Smith". Freakin' awesome.Also, Vincent Gallo is an insufferable jackass.

Isn't he just?

Vincent Gallo it seems is in about 1/2 the list. I am an above average movie goer, but have to google his name.Here is the list of movies in which he was the Writer or director:

Promises Written in Water (2010)

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Buffalo '66 (1998)

Before someone opens their mouth and criticize someone else they need to have some success in the field in order to lean credence to their opinion; upon viewing this list VG has none.

Yes. But even given that qualification, these comments are often ridiculous. If you read The 30 Harshest Author-on-Author Insults In History, what's fascinating to me is these great authors have such awful things to say about each other. For me, it reveals an important lesson: if these brilliant writers have such low opinions about other brilliant works, then we shouldn't be very upset when we get criticized by moronic, talentless hacks.

 

[jdoggydogg]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

Ok. But the difference is no one knows or cares about the guys in your league.

And I doubt many people care about this list or even made it all the way through. Are we supposed to be surprised that some people in Hollywood hate other people in Hollywood? The only surprise is how incredibly boring and uncreative their insults are to each other. It's about as much fun to read as listening to a couple of 4 year olds call each other names.

Tell you what: why don't you provide me with a list of topics you find interesting. That way, I'll be sure to only start new threads that you enjoy.Meanwhile, I'll go read the 25 new poop threads on page one.

 

[hooter311]

Uwe boll: "I'm not a ####### like Michael Bay"I'm going to need some sort of proof here Uwe. MB looks like a genius next to this hack, at least Bay did the Rock.

Boll is awesome. He embraces the suckitude of his films and knows exactly what he is doing, although I'm not sure he is capable of creating something truly great.My favorite thing about him is his open challenge to film critics that hate his films to a 10 round boxing match. He went 5 for 5 against them."You see what happens when people get hit in the head? They like my movies!"and you can't argue with the fact that he doesn't lose money on his productions, he'll be the first to admit he's not in it for the "art".

 

[GroveDiesel]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

Ok. But the difference is no one knows or cares about the guys in your league.

And I doubt many people care about this list or even made it all the way through. Are we supposed to be surprised that some people in Hollywood hate other people in Hollywood? The only surprise is how incredibly boring and uncreative their insults are to each other. It's about as much fun to read as listening to a couple of 4 year olds call each other names.

Tell you what: why don't you provide me with a list of topics you find interesting. That way, I'll be sure to only start new threads that you enjoy.Meanwhile, I'll go read the 25 new poop threads on page one.

It really wasn't meant as an attack in you in any way. The concept seemed good. It's just that, I'm not sure if this is really the best slams out there or if the author just sucks at finding stuff, but it's incredibly disappointing when you think about how creative and how well-spoken so many directors are.

 

[hooter311]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

Ok. But the difference is no one knows or cares about the guys in your league.

And I doubt many people care about this list or even made it all the way through. Are we supposed to be surprised that some people in Hollywood hate other people in Hollywood? The only surprise is how incredibly boring and uncreative their insults are to each other. It's about as much fun to read as listening to a couple of 4 year olds call each other names.

In any industry, talking #### about your peers is frowned upon. Well respected directors speaking candidly of each other is a good read and is usually insightful about both parties.

 

[jdoggydogg]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

Ok. But the difference is no one knows or cares about the guys in your league.

And I doubt many people care about this list or even made it all the way through. Are we supposed to be surprised that some people in Hollywood hate other people in Hollywood? The only surprise is how incredibly boring and uncreative their insults are to each other. It's about as much fun to read as listening to a couple of 4 year olds call each other names.

Tell you what: why don't you provide me with a list of topics you find interesting. That way, I'll be sure to only start new threads that you enjoy.Meanwhile, I'll go read the 25 new poop threads on page one.

It really wasn't meant as an attack in you in any way. The concept seemed good. It's just that, I'm not sure if this is really the best slams out there or if the author just sucks at finding stuff, but it's incredibly disappointing when you think about how creative and how well-spoken so many directors are.

I'm guessing that many directors feel the need to act professional. So these quotes may very well be hard to come by.

 

[Mr. Mojo]

20. Kevin Smith on Paul Thomas Anderson (specifically, Magnolia):

“I’ll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I’ll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work.”

Best of the list and most true.

 

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

20. Kevin Smith on Paul Thomas Anderson (specifically, Magnolia):

“I’ll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I’ll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work.”

Best of the list and most true.

Magnolia was great - sorry you didn't like it.

 

[johnadams]

#46 johnadams

Footballguy

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03-August 10 Posted Today, 02:03 PM

Some good stuff in the comments. Keep in mind that I've made no effort to verify any of this, but anyway...

1) Ebert called (Gallo's) movie “The Brown Bunny” the worst film to ever screen at Cannes, Gallo called him a “fat pig” (I sense a theme). Ebert responded “Although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of The Brown Bunny.” Also: ” I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.”

2) You missed Tarantino’s rejoinder to Spike Lee: “He’d have to stand on a chair to kick my ###.”

3)Paul W.S. Anderson:

“Don’t get me started on Citizen Kane. It took me five sittings to get through that so-called classic. It’s all talk, talk, talk. When you sit down to a Paul W.S. Anderson film, I guarantee you will not be bored like that.”

 

[17seconds]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

"Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith."

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to "I would never read a comic book"):

"Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman."

Yup, this was from Smith's hilarious account of his involvement with Superman Returns in "An Evening With Kevin Smith". Freakin' awesome.Also, Vincent Gallo is an insufferable jackass.

Isn't he just?

Vincent Gallo it seems is in about 1/2 the list. I am an above average movie goer, but had to google his name.Here is the list of movies in which he was the Writer or director:

Promises Written in Water (2010)

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Buffalo ’66 (1998)

Before someone opens their mouth and criticize someone else they need to have some success in the field in order to lend credence to their opinion; upon viewing this list VG has none.

Buffalo '66 is a really good movie.But you're right about Gallo. People think it is ####### shtick to get attention and be an edgy director.

 

[jdoggydogg]

1) Ebert called (Gallo's) movie "The Brown Bunny" the worst film to ever screen at Cannes, Gallo called him a "fat pig" (I sense a theme). Ebert responded "Although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of The Brown Bunny." Also: " I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny."

No way one of those is real. It's a riff on one of the famous exchanges between Chamberlain and Lady Astor.Astor to Chamberlain at a party: You, sir, are drunk!Chamberlain to Astor: And you, madam, are ugly. And in the morning I will be sober.They had another great one.Astor to Chamberlain: If you were my husband, sir, I would poison your tea.Chamberlain to Astor: And if you were my wife, madam, I would drink it.

"I've had a lovely time. Unfortunately, tonight wasn't it." ~ Groucho Marx

 

[jdoggydogg]

20. Kevin Smith on Paul Thomas Anderson (specifically, Magnolia):

"I'll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I'll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work."

Best of the list and most true.

Magnolia was great - sorry you didn't like it.

Magnolia is brilliant. Although you and I are in the minority.

 

[Mr. Mojo]

20. Kevin Smith on Paul Thomas Anderson (specifically, Magnolia):

"I'll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I'll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work."

Best of the list and most true.

Magnolia was great - sorry you didn't like it.

Magnolia is brilliant. Although you and I are in the minority.

I realize that there are those that love it. But I think it's possibly the worst movie with a really good cast (not some cheap production) that I've ever seen. Three hours (not two) of unlikable losers was excrutiating to watch. The frog storm didn't work. Even hearing "One is the loneliest number" said about 50 times too many in the first few minutes was an omen for awfulness.

 

[Tom Servo]

Most of these are awful. There's better trash talk in 90% of fantasy football leagues.

Ok. But the difference is no one knows or cares about the guys in your league.

Most people don't care who directs movies, either.

 

[McJose]

The one's directed at QT were great.

Dude is a hack.

 

[jdoggydogg]

The one's directed at QT were great.Dude is a hack.

Incorrect.

 

[Tom Hagen]

Vincent Gallo it seems is in about 1/2 the list. I am an above average movie goer, but had to google his name.Here is the list of movies in which he was the Writer or directorromises Written in Water (2010)The Brown Bunny (2003)Buffalo ’66 (1998)Before someone opens their mouth and criticize someone else they need to have some success in the field in order to lend credence to their opinion; upon viewing this list VG has none.

I don't know, I've seen about 3 minutes of The Brown Bunny and enjoyed it very much.

 

[rockaction]

This thread needs to be bumped.

 

[rockaction]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

"Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith."

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to "I would never read a comic book"):

"Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman."

Yup, this was from Smith's hilarious account of his involvement with Superman Returns in "An Evening With Kevin Smith". Freakin' awesome.Also, Vincent Gallo is an insufferable jackass.

Isn't he just?

Vincent Gallo it seems is in about 1/2 the list. I am an above average movie goer, but had to google his name.Here is the list of movies in which he was the Writer or director:

Promises Written in Water (2010)

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Buffalo ’66 (1998)

Before someone opens their mouth and criticize someone else they need to have some success in the field in order to lend credence to their opinion; upon viewing this list VG has none.

Agree with you on Magnolia, but anyone who follows movies even remotely should know about Buffalo '66 and Brown Bunny. Gallo is so insufferable, he's awesome?

 

[jdoggydogg]

This is gold, baby:

18. Tim Burton on Kevin Smith (after Smith jokingly accused Burton of stealing the ending of Planet of the Apes from a Smith comic book):

"Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith."

19. Kevin Smith on Tim Burton (in response to "I would never read a comic book"):

"Which, to me, explains ####ing Batman."

Yup, this was from Smith's hilarious account of his involvement with Superman Returns in "An Evening With Kevin Smith". Freakin' awesome.Also, Vincent Gallo is an insufferable jackass.

Isn't he just?

Vincent Gallo it seems is in about 1/2 the list. I am an above average movie goer, but had to google his name.Here is the list of movies in which he was the Writer or director:

Promises Written in Water (2010)

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Buffalo ’66 (1998)

Before someone opens their mouth and criticize someone else they need to have some success in the field in order to lend credence to their opinion; upon viewing this list VG has none.

Agree with you on Magnolia, but anyone who follows movies even remotely should know about Buffalo '66 and Brown Bunny. Gallo is so insufferable, he's awesome?

I liked Buffalo '66. Vincent Gallo was good in Coppola's Tetro, as well.

 

[MaxThreshold]

Maybe we should have a "30 Harshest FBG on FBG insults of all time"?

 

[timschochet]

1) Ebert called (Gallo's) movie The Brown Bunny the worst film to ever screen at Cannes, Gallo called him a fat pig (I sense a theme). Ebert responded Although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of The Brown Bunny. Also: I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.

No way one of those is real. It's a riff on one of the famous exchanges between Chamberlain and Lady Astor.Astor to Chamberlain at a party: You, sir, are drunk!Chamberlain to Astor: And you, madam, are ugly. And in the morning I will be sober.They had another great one.Astor to Chamberlain: If you were my husband, sir, I would poison your tea.Chamberlain to Astor: And if you were my wife, madam, I would drink it.

You mean Churchill. Kind of an insult to call him Chamberlain.

 

[flysack]

There's a classic Shaw-Churchill exchange. George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one." Churchill to Shaw: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."

That is awesome.

In the halls of wit and snark, Winston Churchill is god.

 

[timschochet]

There's a classic Shaw-Churchill exchange. George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one." Churchill to Shaw: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."

That is awesome.

In the halls of wit and snark, Winston Churchill is god.

Incidentally, the play in question was Pygmalion, Shaw's biggest success.

 

[packersfan]

20. Kevin Smith on Paul Thomas Anderson (specifically, Magnolia):

"I'll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I'll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work."

Best of the list and most true.

Magnolia was great - sorry you didn't like it.

Magnolia is brilliant. Although you and I are in the minority.

I'm with you guys. And while Kevin Smith is a funny guy and entertaining he really needs to shut the hell up when it comes to criticizing other filmmakers. His body of work since "Clerks" has been rather dreadful for the most part - and that's probably being kind.

 

[Insein]

This thread needs to be bumped.

I think we got by the last 2 years without it.