What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

The Colonblow Diaries (1 Viewer)

Can someone explain to me exactly why I can't stop thinking about this thread? I feel the uncontrollable need to check it every 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong, VD (how appropriate are those initials?) is a good guy and all, but it's not like we're related. Why the heightened interest on my part? Until now, I have never noticed an unusual draw to poop stories, but now I sit here and wait with bated breath for the next entry in this God forsaken diary. :confused:
Click to expand...
getting off the subway this morning and then walking to my favorite coffee house something kept nagging at me "Did I forget to finish up something at work yesterday?" then "Is there something that has to be finished before the weekend starts?" No, nothing THAT serious I thought..then it hit me, "OMG I forgot to check the CB thread last night at home!!!" I really can't get any lower than that to actually have this thread in the back of my mind, nagging at me. I suspect when this is over, I will get the same empty feeling from when fantasty football season has ended or the day after the super bowl when you know you have another 6 months until football.That said, keep it going! :thumbup: :thumbup:
 
Is smoking allowed when you're doing this? If so, I might give it a go. If not, there ain't no damn way I'm cutting out food, caffeine, and nicotine at the same time. Somebody would look at me crooked, I'd end up beating them to death, and I'd go to jail for the rest of my life. Not worth it for a clean colon. :no:

 
getting off the subway this morning and then walking to my favorite coffee house something kept nagging at me "Did I forget to finish up something at work yesterday?" then "Is there something that has to be finished before the weekend starts?" No, nothing THAT serious I thought..then it hit me, "OMG I forgot to check the CB thread last night at home!!!" I really can't get any lower than that to actually have this thread in the back of my mind, nagging at me. I suspect when this is over, I will get the same empty feeling from when fantasty football season has ended or the day after the super bowl when you know you have another 6 months until football.That said, keep it going! :thumbup: :thumbup:
Click to expand...
:rotflmao: I'm starting to obsess on this. Every time I get tired or god forbid I see a zit, I'm gonna blame it on the 20 pounds of decaying fecal matter in my colon.
 
Is smoking allowed when you're doing this? If so, I might give it a go. If not, there ain't no damn way I'm cutting out food, caffeine, and nicotine at the same time. Somebody would look at me crooked, I'd end up beating them to death, and I'd go to jail for the rest of my life. Not worth it for a clean colon. :no:
Click to expand...
I have the same question, but sub pot for cigs. If I'm giving up booze, I will switch to pot. But how would that effect this?
 
Is smoking allowed when you're doing this? If so, I might give it a go. If not, there ain't no damn way I'm cutting out food, caffeine, and nicotine at the same time. Somebody would look at me crooked, I'd end up beating them to death, and I'd go to jail for the rest of my life. Not worth it for a clean colon. :no:
Click to expand...
If you went to jail, I'm sure your colon could get cleansed and then sullied. Your choice.
 
**Newsflash**

I'm done. Couldn't take it any longer. The hunger was too much to handle. All I could think about on the train home was chicken curry. I got home, went straight for the kitchen and busted out a chicken curry feast.

I went a solid four days and had a great movement this morning. It was like nothing I had ever smelled.

Keep it going VD!

 
getting off the subway this morning and then walking to my favorite coffee house something kept nagging at me "Did I forget to finish up something at work yesterday?" then "Is there something that has to be finished before the weekend starts?" No, nothing THAT serious I thought..then it hit me, "OMG I forgot to check the CB thread last night at home!!!" I really can't get any lower than that to actually have this thread in the back of my mind, nagging at me. I suspect when this is over, I will get the same empty feeling from when fantasty football season has ended or the day after the super bowl when you know you have another 6 months until football.That said, keep it going! :thumbup: :thumbup:
Click to expand...
:rotflmao: I'm starting to obsess on this. Every time I get tired or god forbid I see a zit, I'm gonna blame it on the 20 pounds of decaying fecal matter in my colon.
Click to expand...
I don't think my ### has ever felt sooo heavy since I began to read this. Seriously, I feel like there is a 20 lb block inside the lower part of my bowels and seriously thinking about taking "the plunge" into colon cleaning. I have a buddy who does this twice a year where he gets his colon cleaned out at the doctors and SWEARS by it. Doesn't eat anthing solid for a day before (liquids only with vitamins) then gets rooted out (always exclaims he got more ### action than a gay brothel) then only has liquids for another day after the cleaning. You can CLEARLY see the difference in his face and tude, looks about 10 lbs lighter. I am getting closer and closer to trying this....
 
I have the same question, but sub pot for cigs. If I'm giving up booze, I will switch to pot. But how would that effect this?
Click to expand...
Can you imagine how paranoid you'd be that big black worms would actually find their way out your ### if you tried the "blow" while high? :ph34r:
 
**Newsflash**

I'm done. Couldn't take it any longer. The hunger was too much to handle. All I could think about on the train home was chicken curry. I got home, went straight for the kitchen and busted out a chicken curry feast.

I went a solid four days and had a great movement this morning. It was like nothing I had ever smelled.

Keep it going VD!
Click to expand...
Man... I just changed my sig to reflect your sacrafice too. Looks like the collective prayers of the FBGs was not strong enough for you to overcome your earthly desires.
 
Is smoking allowed when you're doing this? If so, I might give it a go. If not, there ain't no damn way I'm cutting out food, caffeine, and nicotine at the same time. Somebody would look at me crooked, I'd end up beating them to death, and I'd go to jail for the rest of my life. Not worth it for a clean colon. :no:
Click to expand...
I agreedenial of nicotine + lack of caffine + loss of sudden food = divorce from wife + death of innocent bystander(s)/co-workers
 
This strikes me as a different means to the same end. At the dawn of the Exploration Age, some men struck off across the sea, some across the mountains.I'm doing my part. Perhaps some other misguided soul will scale that mountain.
Click to expand...
Dude, that is absolutely beautiful, just pure genius.
 
**Newsflash**

I'm done. Couldn't take it any longer. The hunger was too much to handle. All I could think about on the train home was chicken curry. I got home, went straight for the kitchen and busted out a chicken curry feast.

I went a solid four days and had a great movement this morning. It was like nothing I had ever smelled.

Keep it going VD!
Click to expand...
And then there was one...
 
I challenge the whole premise! I seem to remember several articles and TV interviews that the whole "crap lining your intestinal walls" is a bunch of bunk. They even have those pills with camera's that you can swallow that reveal no evidence of said impacted crap. I think you guys need to try a healthy diet and exercise and stop worrying about your collective asses so much. Get some metamucil for heavens sake! Flame away.

 
**Newsflash**

I'm done. Couldn't take it any longer. The hunger was too much to handle. All I could think about on the train home was chicken curry. I got home, went straight for the kitchen and busted out a chicken curry feast.

I went a solid four days and had a great movement this morning. It was like nothing I had ever smelled.

Keep it going VD!
Click to expand...
And then there was one...
Click to expand...
:mellow: :lonely:

 
I challenge the whole premise! I seem to remember several articles and TV interviews that the whole "crap lining your intestinal walls" is a bunch of bunk. They even have those pills with camera's that you can swallow that reveal no evidence of said impacted crap. I think you guys need to try a healthy diet and exercise and stop worrying about your collective asses so much. Get some metamucil for heavens sake! Flame away.
Click to expand...
but this is so much easier than jogging.
 
I challenge the whole premise! I seem to remember several articles and TV interviews that the whole "crap lining your intestinal walls" is a bunch of bunk. They even have those pills with camera's that you can swallow that reveal no evidence of said impacted crap. I think you guys need to try a healthy diet and exercise and stop worrying about your collective asses so much. Get some metamucil for heavens sake! Flame away.
Click to expand...
Don't Mr Happy on my colonblow, dude.
 
bookmarkWhat does the cayenne pepper do?
Click to expand...
Well, I have to believe that the Cayenne Pepper is the "Bowl Irritant" causing "all the 10 year old funky gunk" to loosen from the intestine walls and "flow free" with the laxative.Cayenne is classiffied as an irritant, after all.Viv, I have to say... this thread has entertained me through out the afternoon. Good luck and enjoy the event. I am sure it will be legendary!
 
Didn't know you were getting all that, did you!

I tried this last year so I know a bit about it. I made it 3 days - nothing but lemonade and laxative tea - and NOTHING. I didn't even poo once! I even did the salt water wash where you chug 1/2 a gallon of warm water and sea salt and still nothing (EDIT - Do NOT attempt this - it's awful). I must have a colon of steel. I forget why we (my wife was also doing it) stopped but I'm intending to try again soon for a longer period.

Godspeed Viv.
Click to expand...
:shock: Not only could I NEVER do this with my wife/girlfriend, I can't even imagine what would happen if you both had to go at the same time. Or if you had to go immediately after her and smell the evil that was in her.

:shiver:

 
Hey guys -

What is the difference between what Viv is doing and buying a product called Colonblow?

http://store.yahoo.com/colonblow/colonblow3pack.html

The Colonblow 3-Pack contains three complete Colonblows. So, one person can accomplish three complete Colonblows, or three different people can Colonblow once. Therefore, the Colonblow 3-Pack is a great way to Colonblow with your friends, or, use the Colonblow 3-Pack to help address your own long-term colon health.For best results, Colonblow three complete times, 10 days apart, or up to 60 days apart. This aggressive time-frame format (10 days apart) may also expedite and assist your weight loss/management program. Not to mention help increase energy and most of all... get the crap out.

FREE short sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase two Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. FREE long sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase three Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. Please specify shirt size in Comment Field, (L, XL). NOTE: This promotion requires the purchase of MULTIPLE Colonblow 3-Packs.
Click to expand...
wouldn't this be cheaper and easier to do than what Viv is doing for the same net effect? :confused:
Click to expand...
This strikes me as a different means to the same end. At the dawn of the Exploration Age, some men struck off across the sea, some across the mountains.I'm doing my part.

Perhaps some other misguided soul will scale that mountain.
Click to expand...
I will scale that mountain. Just so long as the mountain has nice public bathrooms that get serviced regularly.
Click to expand...
And thus, a new fad is born. I can't wait till the guys at FFToday hear about this...

 
**Newsflash**

I'm done. Couldn't take it any longer. The hunger was too much to handle. All I could think about on the train home was chicken curry. I got home, went straight for the kitchen and busted out a chicken curry feast.

I went a solid four days and had a great movement this morning. It was like nothing I had ever smelled.

Keep it going VD!
Click to expand...
And then there was one...
Click to expand...
Not so fast...........I just took the plunge. I couldn't take it anymore. On my way home fro lunch I made a quick stop by the health food store. I did manage to pick up some distilled water, crushed cayenne pepper, lemon juice and some maple syrup.

My lunch consisted of one glass of "lemonade". So far no effects good or bad. I am anxiously awaiting the removal of the "worms" from my system. I'll also keep you updated, but am not trying to steal VD's thunder.

 
I jush thwallowed a vacume cweaner. I have the cowed hanging out my mououth. I wiw wait till it weaches my cowon before I pwug it in.

 
I jush thwallowed a vacume cweaner. I have the cowed hanging out my mououth. I wiw wait till it weaches my cowon before I pwug it in.
Click to expand...
Dude, be careful! That's colon suck , not colon blow . Your method could actually add 20 lbs of fecal matter to your bowels.
 
thut up honkey kowng, i'm therious
Click to expand...
... wondering if PlaymobileFro actully stuck something in his mouth (mind out of the gutter FBGs) to see what that sentance would have sounded like if he really did have a vaccuum in there...
 
As I sit here in amazement at this thread, I begin to consider my own #2 procedure. Not that I think people are interested in my poop, but the way this thread has taken off, I get a sense that poop is very fascinating for many of us. Here's my story....I only go once every 2, 3 or sometimes even 4 days. I can shat on monday, and not have to go again until wed or thurs. Is that normal? I mean, I don't feel bloated or anything. I just don't get that 'urge' to go. I eat breakfast bar for breakfast. A decent lunch. Then home-cooked supper at home. Some snacks in between meals. Plenty of food goes in, but no waste comes out. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day, and drink alcohol when I can. I'm in decent shape....5'10", 162 lbs. When I do go #2, it's nothing 'spectacular' at all. Just a couple loggers (medium consistency and nothing notable about color) once every 2, 3 or4 days and I'm good to go. I fart a lot. without shame. In front of my family. My wife used to laugh at me...but now I get the sense that she's getting annoyed. Rightfully so. But, what am I supposed to do? It would just be too impractical for me to get up and leave the room every time I had to fart. I'm not confined to my cubicle at work, so I do a lot of 'drive-by' farting.My wife says I have a shatting and farting problem and that I should get myself checked out. She's even mentioned the fecal worm thing to me. :eek: I'm 30yrs old and feel great...I don't see the concern for visiting a doctor. Now I read this thread and the topic is really starting to hit home. Am I a good candidate for Colonblow? Are there any potential health hazards if I don't consider colonblow? This thread could really save my life and/or my marriagePLEASE VD keep up the good work. My health (life) could depend on it.

 
As I sit here in amazement at this thread, I begin to consider my own #2 procedure. Not that I think people are interested in my poop, but the way this thread has taken off, I get a sense that poop is very fascinating for many of us. Here's my story....I only go once every 2, 3 or sometimes even 4 days. I can shat on monday, and not have to go again until wed or thurs. Is that normal? I mean, I don't feel bloated or anything. I just don't get that 'urge' to go. I eat breakfast bar for breakfast. A decent lunch. Then home-cooked supper at home. Some snacks in between meals. Plenty of food goes in, but no waste comes out. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day, and drink alcohol when I can. I'm in decent shape....5'10", 162 lbs. When I do go #2, it's nothing 'spectacular' at all. Just a couple loggers (medium consistency and nothing notable about color) once every 2, 3 or4 days and I'm good to go. I fart a lot. without shame. In front of my family. My wife used to laugh at me...but now I get the sense that she's getting annoyed. Rightfully so. But, what am I supposed to do? It would just be too impractical for me to get up and leave the room every time I had to fart. I'm not confined to my cubicle at work, so I do a lot of 'drive-by' farting.My wife says I have a shatting and farting problem and that I should get myself checked out. She's even mentioned the fecal worm thing to me. :eek: I'm 30yrs old and feel great...I don't see the concern for visiting a doctor. Now I read this thread and the topic is really starting to hit home. Am I a good candidate for Colonblow? Are there any potential health hazards if I don't consider colonblow? This thread could really save my life and/or my marriagePLEASE VD keep up the good work. My health (life) could depend on it.
Click to expand...
It was only a matter of time before a brown trout swam by...
 
As I sit here in amazement at this thread, I begin to consider my own #2 procedure. Not that I think people are interested in my poop, but the way this thread has taken off, I get a sense that poop is very fascinating for many of us. Here's my story....I only go once every 2, 3 or sometimes even 4 days. I can shat on monday, and not have to go again until wed or thurs. Is that normal? I mean, I don't feel bloated or anything. I just don't get that 'urge' to go. I eat breakfast bar for breakfast. A decent lunch. Then home-cooked supper at home. Some snacks in between meals. Plenty of food goes in, but no waste comes out. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day, and drink alcohol when I can. I'm in decent shape....5'10", 162 lbs. When I do go #2, it's nothing 'spectacular' at all. Just a couple loggers (medium consistency and nothing notable about color) once every 2, 3 or4 days and I'm good to go. I fart a lot. without shame. In front of my family. My wife used to laugh at me...but now I get the sense that she's getting annoyed. Rightfully so. But, what am I supposed to do? It would just be too impractical for me to get up and leave the room every time I had to fart. I'm not confined to my cubicle at work, so I do a lot of 'drive-by' farting.My wife says I have a shatting and farting problem and that I should get myself checked out. She's even mentioned the fecal worm thing to me. :eek: I'm 30yrs old and feel great...I don't see the concern for visiting a doctor. Now I read this thread and the topic is really starting to hit home. Am I a good candidate for Colonblow? Are there any potential health hazards if I don't consider colonblow? This thread could really save my life and/or my marriagePLEASE VD keep up the good work. My health (life) could depend on it.
Click to expand...
shatting or sharting?
 
If that post gets this thread locked, trout will be mercifully ridiculed
Click to expand...
A guy asking for advice about the subject matter at hand, shouldn't be a bannable offense. :( Besides, it's a question about poop. Who doesn't like to discuss poop?

 
A guy asking for advice about the subject matter at hand, shouldn't be a bannable offense. :( Besides, it's a question about poop. Who doesn't like to discuss poop?
Click to expand...
Dude, I think you do have some intestinal "issues"Firstly, if your breakfast bar is one of the "protein bar" varieties, these bars are well known to have some stopping power. You may not be eating enough fresh fruits and vegetables and drinking enough water. I bet if you added at least one piece of fruit to your breakfast and lunch and have vegetables with dinner along with perhaps a salad and drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day that you'd become much more regular.just my $0.02
 
A guy asking for advice about the subject matter at hand, shouldn't be a bannable offense. :( Besides, it's a question about poop. Who doesn't like to discuss poop?
Click to expand...
Dude, I think you do have some intestinal "issues"Firstly, if your breakfast bar is one of the "protein bar" varieties, these bars are well known to have some stopping power. You may not be eating enough fresh fruits and vegetables and drinking enough water. I bet if you added at least one piece of fruit to your breakfast and lunch and have vegetables with dinner along with perhaps a salad and drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day that you'd become much more regular.just my $0.02
Click to expand...
IBS
 
**Newsflash**

I'm done. Couldn't take it any longer. The hunger was too much to handle. All I could think about on the train home was chicken curry. I got home, went straight for the kitchen and busted out a chicken curry feast.

I went a solid four days and had a great movement this morning. It was like nothing I had ever smelled.

Keep it going VD!
Click to expand...
UH...sorry to hear that you jumped off of the program. Indeed it is difficult, but since you were already at the 4 day point (much longer than most people do it) you should have finished it up. What struck you was most likely a craving and not hunger. If the program is done correctly, there is no real hunger as the lemonade will quell all hunger pains.There is no subsitute for real food...that is for sure. I have done the Master Cleanser program twice in 2 years...that is 20 days without food over the past 2 years....and although the results were unreal and I felt the best I ever had, I have vowed to never do the program again. Greasy food and beer is just too damn important!

 
As I sit here in amazement at this thread, I begin to consider my own #2 procedure. Not that I think people are interested in my poop, but the way this thread has taken off, I get a sense that poop is very fascinating for many of us.

Here's my story....

I only go once every 2, 3 or sometimes even 4 days. I can shat on monday, and not have to go again until wed or thurs. Is that normal? I mean, I don't feel bloated or anything. I just don't get that 'urge' to go. I eat breakfast bar for breakfast. A decent lunch. Then home-cooked supper at home. Some snacks in between meals. Plenty of food goes in, but no waste comes out. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day, and drink alcohol when I can. I'm in decent shape....5'10", 162 lbs. When I do go #2, it's nothing 'spectacular' at all. Just a couple loggers (medium consistency and nothing notable about color) once every 2, 3 or4 days and I'm good to go.

I fart a lot. without shame. In front of my family. My wife used to laugh at me...but now I get the sense that she's getting annoyed. Rightfully so. But, what am I supposed to do? It would just be too impractical for me to get up and leave the room every time I had to fart. I'm not confined to my cubicle at work, so I do a lot of 'drive-by' farting.

My wife says I have a shatting and farting problem and that I should get myself checked out. She's even mentioned the fecal worm thing to me. :eek: I'm 30yrs old and feel great...I don't see the concern for visiting a doctor. Now I read this thread and the topic is really starting to hit home.

Am I a good candidate for Colonblow? Are there any potential health hazards if I don't consider colonblow? This thread could really save my life and/or my marriage

PLEASE VD keep up the good work. My health (life) could depend on it.
Click to expand...
It's called Fiber. Get some.
 
Didn't know you were getting all that, did you!

I tried this last year so I know a bit about it. I made it 3 days - nothing but lemonade and laxative tea - and NOTHING. I didn't even poo once! I even did the salt water wash where you chug 1/2 a gallon of warm water and sea salt and still nothing (EDIT - Do NOT attempt this - it's awful). I must have a colon of steel. I forget why we (my wife was also doing it) stopped but I'm intending to try again soon for a longer period.

Godspeed Viv.
Click to expand...
:shock: Not only could I NEVER do this with my wife/girlfriend, I can't even imagine what would happen if you both had to go at the same time. Or if you had to go immediately after her and smell the evil that was in her.

:shiver:
Click to expand...
I have one word that comes to mind if my wife partook in this adventure:divorce

 
A guy asking for advice about the subject matter at hand, shouldn't be a bannable offense.  :(   Besides, it's a question about poop.  Who doesn't like to discuss poop?
Click to expand...
Dude, I think you do have some intestinal "issues"Firstly, if your breakfast bar is one of the "protein bar" varieties, these bars are well known to have some stopping power. You may not be eating enough fresh fruits and vegetables and drinking enough water. I bet if you added at least one piece of fruit to your breakfast and lunch and have vegetables with dinner along with perhaps a salad and drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day that you'd become much more regular.just my $0.02
Click to expand...
IBS
Click to expand...
IBS??
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Deepster
Attending the Ryder Cup - Tips or advice?
Replies
6
Views
253
TLEF316
TLEF316
dgreen
Gettysburg, PA
Replies
33
Views
605
fatness
fatness
Wingnut
Daniel Day-Lewis is back! The GOAT seeks fourth Oscar for Best Actor in new film Anenome
Replies
0
Views
104
Wingnut
Wingnut

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top