1 Is it really the best use of Batman’s time, when millions of lives are at stake, to keep applying black make-up to the exposed areas around his eyes every time he puts his mask on?Looked more like flexible rubber to me.
2 How come none of the ‘exiles’ work out that if they crawl across the ice rather than walking, they’ll have a much better chance of making it to safety?
They've...never walked on ice before. Where would a super rich person have ever walked on ice?
3 Why does the Batcycle suddenly begin pushing the rider’s bum into the air once Catwoman starts using it?
Batman's bum was covered by his cape. And is this a complaint about Catwoman's bum?
4 Where is everyone?
Hiding indoors.
5 Why does the movie hate the Occupy movement so much, painting its activists as — at best — gullible puppets and — at worse — psychopathic mass murderers?
Because they're at least gullible puppets but more likely psychopathic mass murderers that just haven't gotten their chance yet what with all the cops around.
6 Just how great of a detective is Commissioner Gordon if he fails to notice the direct correlation between Batman’s eight-year inactivity and Bruce Wayne’s eight-year reclusion from society?
He's not exactly hobnobbing with Wayne's class.
7 Why does Bane blow up the majority of the city’s bridges but elect to leave one intact for the police to guard?
Did you miss the major part of Bane's plot where he tells Batman that he wants the people to have hope before he destroys them?
8 Why did anyone think Anne Hathaway wouldn’t make a good Catwoman?
Sanity is not statistical.
9 Is the ‘Wayne Manor Home For Orphaned Children’ or whatever it’s called this generation’s ’Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good’?
Very funny Mr. Jokey Jokemaker.
10 That was supposed to be FIVE MONTHS?!
I suppose we could have a half an hour of watching Bruce Wayne writhe in pain. That'd be fun.
11 Why doesn’t Bane blow up the city when he sees people walking out onto the ice, thereby disobeying his orders and attempting to leave Gotham?
Because he knows they're not going to make it.
12 Couldn’t there have been more scenes with Michael Caine softly weeping?
One more at the end would have been nice.
13 What ever happened to ‘I seriously doubt I will even be involved when Robin’s in the franchise’, Mr. Nolan?
Is there a fourth movie I'm unaware of?
14 Why can’t I hear Bane?
You picked the wrong theater, sillyhead.
15 Why can’t I hear Batman?
You picked the wrong theater, sillyhead.
16 Why can’t I hear Commissioner Gordon?
You picked the wrong theater, sillyhead.
17 If Joseph Gordon-Levitt was able to figure out Batman’s true identity just by looking at him, wouldn’t a gossip columnist or someone have done the same years ago?
How many gossip columnists could take over as Batman?
18 Is there only one café in Florence or did Alfred have to go on a bit of a crawl to find Bruce?
He went to the same one every year. Would it really be difficult for Batman/Wayne to figure out which one?
19 Does that thing Batman does where he shouts “WHERE’S ________?” very loudly into someone’s face, ever work?
Why wouldn't it? Worked for Jack Bauer in every single episode of 24.
20 Wasn’t it implicit in Bane’s agreement with the old man that he should keep Bruce in the prison, as well as keeping him alive?
What's the worst Bane would do to the old man? Throw him in the Pit of Dispair? Oh...wait...
21 Why does Batman #### Miranda Tate?
Because she's Marion Cotillard.
22 Why does Batman kiss Catwoman?
Because she's Anne Hathaway.
23 Why does their kiss look like two action figures being rubbed together by a sexually curious child?
Probably because one or more of them are truly gay.
24 Why does Catwoman follow Batman to Italy?
He probably has a stash there. You think all of his money was locked up in Wayne Enterprise stock?
25 Couldn’t Bruce Wayne very easily prove that it was Bane who made those fraudulent stock trades, what with his highly publicised recent occupation of the Gotham Stock Exchange?
Not in the timeframe in which he needed to do it. Plus, there were a lot of people that wanted to see Wayne fail, I'd wager.
26 Had nobody on the entire Gotham police force even seen Die Hard With a Vengeance?
Don't cross reality streams.
27 Couldn’t the film’s primary antagonist have benefitted from a more dramatic exit than death by being thrown across a room?
...I got nothing here.
28 Why did Bane give that guy on the plane a blood transfusion?
To fake the nuclear scientist's death.
29 Where did the production find a kid who could so capably pass for both Tom Hardy and Marion Cotillard?
From the ACC - Androgyny Casting Company
30 Since when is Matthew Modine still alive?
Finally a good question.
31 Why is the anarchy-ridden Gotham so clean and orderly?
It is?
32 How does Bane eat and drink?
Through a straw.
33 Where did Juno Temple go?
Away
34 Did Batman get stabbed at one point or did I imagine that?
He WAS in the older model Batsuit.
35 Could Bane’s mask be equipped with a ‘line out’ function that would allow him to be adequately amplified at, say, a large sporting event?
36 If the bomb had a six-mile blast radius, what use was Batman jumping into the ocean just before it blew up?
He had restored the autopilot and could have bailed out a long time before then.
37 Is punching really an effective method of resetting a vertebra?
Is rubbing your hands together an effective method of fixing a bum shoulder? Answer: HELL YES!
38 Since when is Batman an arsonist?
Probably a super special low heat fire that he whipped up in the Batcave.
39 How sweaty must Catwoman’s lycra outfit be if she’s been wearing it ever since the fancy dress party?
Women that look like that don't sweat.
40 Isn’t it a bit silly that Batman is still putting that voice on?
It's because of the corset that he's wearing.
41 Who was responsible for the film’s wisecracks, and from what date is their termination effective?
"and bring my copy of The Collected works of Ambrose Bierce!"
42 How can you exercise the level of restraint required to go 165 minutes without ever saying the word ‘Catwoman’ but still feel the need to shamelessly pack your closing 10 minutes with one lame, fanboy-pandering reveal after another?
And if it had gone the other way there would be complaints of "no closure". You can't win these days.
43 Am I reading too much into this?
You have no nits left to pick, that's for sure.
44 Am I not reading far enough into this?
I'm sure there's someone way more into it than you are...and has eight inch nails and pees into mason jars.
45 How was Catwoman able to gain employment at Wayne Manor when her rap sheet is readily available on Bruce’s weird supercomputer?
She wasn't on Wayne's radar until she showed up at the Manor. And would it really be that hard to fake?
46 How did Bruce manage to get from South Asia to Northeast U.S.A. in a matter of days with nothing but a pair of torn pants?
HE'S FREAKING BATMAN!!!
47 Why didn’t somebody just ####### shoot Batman when they had the chance?
Because then Bane would have been perturbed.
48 How did Alfred resist the urge to go and punch Bruce in his smug face when he found him alive and well at the café?
Because it was what he said he wanted. Did you come late to the movie?
49 What is Joseph Gordon-Levitt supposed to do with all the bizarre, impossibly complex gadgets in the Batcave?
Uh...become Batman?
50 Was this seriously the best way Christopher Nolan could think of to end the most mature, sombre, introspective superhero trilogy of all time?
I suppose we could have had a Holy Grail or Blazing Saddles type ending. That would have been EPIC.