Aunt Jemima - Mason Crosby 4 made, 0 missed, long 47 (actual = 2/3 long of 35)
Corn Rocket - McManus, 3 FG, 1 miss, 51 yrd long (actual = 2/2, long of 55)
Arodin - Tucker, 4 made, 1 miss, 48 yds (actual = 2/2 long of 49)
whole-show - Cairo Santos 4 made, 0 missed, long of 51 (actual = 4/4 long of 51)
bicycle_seat_sniffer - Josh Lambo, 4 made, 0 missed, 49 long (actual = 3/3 long of 36)
boltsfan - Santos, 3 made, 0 missed, long of 46 (actual = 4/4 long of 51)
FUBAR - Sebastian Janikowski, 4 made, 0 missed, long of 52 (actual = 3/4 long of 35)
VikingFrog - Blair Walsh, 4 made, 1 missed, long of 47 (actual 1/2 long of 33)
SayWhat? - Sturgis, 4 made, 0 missed, long of 46 (actual = 3/4 long of 38)
crusty crab - Lambo, 4 made, 0 missed, long of 46 (actual = 3/3 long of 36)
Stompin' Tom Connors - Wil Lutz, 3 made, 0 missed, long of 42 (actual = 2/3 long of 41)
SaintsInDome2006 - Hauschka, 4 made, 0 missed, long of 52 (actual = 1/1 long of 49)
@whole-show absolutely crushed this by picking all 3 metrics. That's pretty darn amazing.
So I'm going to go ahead and send him/her/they/it (damn you internet anonymity!) 2 bottles for the main contest, and 2 bottles for the bonus contest. Because that's an unreal call,
And finally, I went ahead and asked
@VikingFrog's wife for input, and she confirmed that he is, in fact, an idiot. Tough break buddy. :(
Thanks to everyone for playing along. You may now return to your regularly scheduled Kickers topic.