Parrothead
Footballguy
What do you do to an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino..
Walk him and pitch to the rhino..
I've also seen Hot Shots!What do you do to an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino..![]()
Black people know how to church.I think this belongs in here:

WASHINGTON–In the continuing controversy surrounding the president's U.S. citizenship, a new fringe group informally known as "Afterbirthers" demanded Monday the authentication of Barack Obama's placenta from his time inside his mother's womb. "All we are asking is that the president produce a sample of his fetal membranes and vessels—preferably along with a photo of the crowning and delivery—and this will all be over," said former presidential candidate and Afterbirthers spokesman Alan Keyes, later adding that his organization would be willing to settle for a half-liter of maternal cord plasma. "To this day, the American people have not seen a cervical mucus plug, let alone one that has been signed and notarized by a state-certified Hawaiian health official. If the president was indeed born in the manner in which he claims, then where is his gestation sac?" Keyes said that if Obama did not soon produce at least a bloody bedsheet from his conception, Afterbirthers would push forward with efforts to exhume the president's deceased mother and inspect the corpse's pelvic bone and birth canal.
These guysLast night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos and all of the people in them are actors with the exception of one person and we will be told who that is after we watch them. About a minute in I'm hating life and begin to start a thread here to give a play-by-play. Mrs. No Fun At All, gives me a dirty look and tells me to knock it off. Considering Cal's principal is in the room I comply.
As the video goes on and on I notice that all of the child molesters & the kids were white. Until the towards of the end when the narrator says "we hope this video gives you an idea on who to look for that might hurt your children" and they flash to a black couple pushing a little black girl on a swing.
A long way to go I know but I almost choked up a lung.
These guysLast night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos and all of the people in them are actors with the exception of one person and we will be told who that is after we watch them. About a minute in I'm hating life and begin to start a thread here to give a play-by-play. Mrs. No Fun At All, gives me a dirty look and tells me to knock it off. Considering Cal's principal is in the room I comply.
As the video goes on and on I notice that all of the child molesters & the kids were white. Until the towards of the end when the narrator says "we hope this video gives you an idea on who to look for that might hurt your children" and they flash to a black couple pushing a little black girl on a swing.
A long way to go I know but I almost choked up a lung.
This was some pretty sick & depressing #### they were showing us. It was like watching Schindler's List and having Krusty The Klown montage during the credits.That video is like a how-to on picking up teenage boys.Got any that would help with teenage girls?These guysLast night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos and all of the people in them are actors with the exception of one person and we will be told who that is after we watch them. About a minute in I'm hating life and begin to start a thread here to give a play-by-play. Mrs. No Fun At All, gives me a dirty look and tells me to knock it off. Considering Cal's principal is in the room I comply.
As the video goes on and on I notice that all of the child molesters & the kids were white. Until the towards of the end when the narrator says "we hope this video gives you an idea on who to look for that might hurt your children" and they flash to a black couple pushing a little black girl on a swing.
A long way to go I know but I almost choked up a lung.
You could have pulled this off anyway.During the video you should have chuckled and said "What a bunch of amateurs."Last night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos
That video is like a how-to on picking up teenage boys.Got any that would help with teenage girls?These guysLast night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos and all of the people in them are actors with the exception of one person and we will be told who that is after we watch them. About a minute in I'm hating life and begin to start a thread here to give a play-by-play. Mrs. No Fun At All, gives me a dirty look and tells me to knock it off. Considering Cal's principal is in the room I comply.
As the video goes on and on I notice that all of the child molesters & the kids were white. Until the towards of the end when the narrator says "we hope this video gives you an idea on who to look for that might hurt your children" and they flash to a black couple pushing a little black girl on a swing.
A long way to go I know but I almost choked up a lung.
That video is like a how-to on picking up teenage boys.Got any that would help with teenage girls?These guysLast night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos and all of the people in them are actors with the exception of one person and we will be told who that is after we watch them. About a minute in I'm hating life and begin to start a thread here to give a play-by-play. Mrs. No Fun At All, gives me a dirty look and tells me to knock it off. Considering Cal's principal is in the room I comply.
As the video goes on and on I notice that all of the child molesters & the kids were white. Until the towards of the end when the narrator says "we hope this video gives you an idea on who to look for that might hurt your children" and they flash to a black couple pushing a little black girl on a swing.
A long way to go I know but I almost choked up a lung.
lacingorder:Lucky. I get to take one every 3 years.So this happened:I just was hired permanently at my local college. Every employer here has to take a TB test every four years. I thought that was kind of odd since there are myriad infectious diseases out there.When the nurse was doing the test, I said, "I'm glad you're only testing for TB, 'cause I have a wicked case of Hepatitis B."No laugh, no guffaw, nary a chortle. Not even a smile![]()
The workers at Student Health Services have to take one every year.Lucky. I get to take one every 3 years.So this happened:I just was hired permanently at my local college. Every employer here has to take a TB test every four years. I thought that was kind of odd since there are myriad infectious diseases out there.When the nurse was doing the test, I said, "I'm glad you're only testing for TB, 'cause I have a wicked case of Hepatitis B."No laugh, no guffaw, nary a chortle. Not even a smile![]()
It's like they expect Doc Holliday to be walking around the quad or something.jdoggydogg said:The workers at Student Health Services have to take one every year.RudiStein said:Lucky. I get to take one every 3 years.jdoggydogg said:So this happened:I just was hired permanently at my local college. Every employer here has to take a TB test every four years. I thought that was kind of odd since there are myriad infectious diseases out there.When the nurse was doing the test, I said, "I'm glad you're only testing for TB, 'cause I have a wicked case of Hepatitis B."No laugh, no guffaw, nary a chortle. Not even a smile![]()
Forgive me. Did Holiday have TB?It's like they expect Doc Holliday to be walking around the quad or something.jdoggydogg said:The workers at Student Health Services have to take one every year.RudiStein said:Lucky. I get to take one every 3 years.jdoggydogg said:So this happened:I just was hired permanently at my local college. Every employer here has to take a TB test every four years. I thought that was kind of odd since there are myriad infectious diseases out there.When the nurse was doing the test, I said, "I'm glad you're only testing for TB, 'cause I have a wicked case of Hepatitis B."No laugh, no guffaw, nary a chortle. Not even a smile![]()
Some stuff I don't joke about GB. Although I was surprised at how the video too responsiblity for priests molesting kids.I can't say that half nelson, full nelson, Father Nelson, wasn't going through my mind though.RudiStein said:You could have pulled this off anyway.During the video you should have chuckled and said "What a bunch of amateurs."St. Louis Bob said:Last night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos
Oh...yeah...right. I was joking.Some stuff I don't joke about GB. Although I was surprised at how the video too responsiblity for priests molesting kids.I can't say that half nelson, full nelson, Father Nelson, wasn't going through my mind though.RudiStein said:You could have pulled this off anyway.During the video you should have chuckled and said "What a bunch of amateurs."St. Louis Bob said:Last night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos
oolThe one guy that turned to be real was one of the child molesters that lived around here. I know I've seen him at the bar, he is 6'2 240 easy, and one of my GB's knew him. I'm going to ask him about it at golf tomorrow. He said he molested hundreds of 7-10 yo girls over 17 years.Oh...yeah...right. I was joking.Some stuff I don't joke about GB. Although I was surprised at how the video too responsiblity for priests molesting kids.I can't say that half nelson, full nelson, Father Nelson, wasn't going through my mind though.RudiStein said:You could have pulled this off anyway.During the video you should have chuckled and said "What a bunch of amateurs."St. Louis Bob said:Last night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos
This is supposed to be the This is funny thread, right?oolThe one guy that turned to be real was one of the child molesters that lived around here. I know I've seen him at the bar, he is 6'2 240 easy, and one of my GB's knew him. I'm going to ask him about it at golf tomorrow. He said he molested hundreds of 7-10 yo girls over 17 years.Oh...yeah...right. I was joking.Some stuff I don't joke about GB. Although I was surprised at how the video too responsiblity for priests molesting kids.I can't say that half nelson, full nelson, Father Nelson, wasn't going through my mind though.You could have pulled this off anyway.During the video you should have chuckled and said "What a bunch of amateurs."Last night the wife and myself had to attend a class on child abuse since Cal just started Kindergarten at a new school. It was optional, but if you didn't attend you couldn't help volunteer with anything. I told Mrs. SLB that not volunteering would be fine with me but she was pretty adamant (####### out of her mind crazy) that I go with her.
First, I was surprised that the guy running it was a guy I grew up with that is now a deacon. Deacons can technically bang broads, priests not so much. I'm not sure of any of the other differences.
Anyhow, there is around 75 people in the room and it is a very diverse group. So we are told that we are going to see some disturbing videos![]()
"Darth Vader just happened to be in his Tie Fighter when the whole thing goes down?""You want another round."
I love it when the language filter gets a url
the blue milk is a nice touch