True story... only happens to me (2 Viewers)

[IC FBGCav]

We rented a place in the mountains of NC.  Great place 40 acres of tree farms.   So we have the place until Monday but wife after drinking sunday thinks we should head home.

 

[IC FBGCav]

We pack up and leave .   I am 100 sober.   We go to 5 gas stations, all are out.   I got 100 miles left.   

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Shoot her up with Fentanyl and make her watch the 1997 Stanley Cup Final.  Your problem will take care of itself.  

 

[cosjobs]

Hard to get enough tree farm in only four days.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

We pack up and leave .   I am 100 sober.   We go to 5 gas stations, all are out.   I got 100 miles left.   

Have you tried more drinking?

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Women: you can't live with them and you can't leave them at a rest stop. 

 

[Zegras11]

 I am 100 sober.   

unpossible

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Women: you can't live with them and you can't leave them at a rest stop. 

Well you could leave them at a rest stop, but they are coming home with Herpes.  So you'll have to do the math on that. 

 

[IC FBGCav]

I say in a bad tone, i am driving start problem solving.....so i pull over, she calls a place.  20 miles away but 45 minutes, but they have gas.

 

[TheMagus]

Is this going to read like a series of Twitter posts? Because by my calculation it is Wednesday/Thursday depending where you live so I have no idea what I'm reading or why. 

 

[Doctor Detroit]

You're not winning the fantasy hockey league at this pace.  Thanks, I need this. 

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

We pack up and leave .   I am 100 sober.   We go to 5 gas stations, all are out.   I got 100 miles left.   

Appalachians, huh?

Hear any banjos?

 

[IC FBGCav]

So we take mountain roads and 2 miles before our place we see a gas station with people filling up.  All is good i though.   They only have 93 but cool.

 

[[scooter]]

Wait, wait, don't tell me............BURMA SHAVE.

 

[IC FBGCav]

This is where things go bad.

 

[IC FBGCav]

Some stocky big guy starts doing hand gesters.   I am the car behind the car at the pump.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

 

[NorvilleBarnes]

This is where things go bad.

It's been pretty bad from the first post.

 

[IC FBGCav]

The car in front of me is a sports car so I cant tell if someone is in there or not.

 

[IC FBGCav]

So sports car guy comes out and and starts pumping gas and jumping guy walks up to me.

 

[IC FBGCav]

I roll down my window and and say whats up, what can i do for you. 

 

[rockaction]

 

[IC FBGCav]

He said, didnt you see me, i said yes but didnt know if you were talking to me.  He said his motorcycle has his gas tank on the left.......he walked closer and dog went off on him, wife asked if he wanted to go i  front, and he yelled, he will deal with it.

 

[[scooter]]

Are you typing this from the other guy's trunk?

 

[ShamrockPride]

This is like a bad Alfredo Hitchcock plot.

 

[IC FBGCav]

So I am still waiting and he is getting gas next to us.  He throws down his helmet 5 times and is just irrate. Looks back at me and says you have something else to say

 

[NorvilleBarnes]

This is like a bad Alfredo Hitchcock plot.

Better than the Hitchcock Parmesan though

 

[IC FBGCav]

He fills up and is done before i get to the pump

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

This is like a bad Alfredo Hitchcock plot.

The Italian subtitles should have clued you in.

 

[rockaction]

Better than the Hitchcock Parmesan though

wow. This thread wins. So what happened next?

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Start a fire somehow, this will make everything seem reasonable to your wife. 

 

[IC FBGCav]

I pull up at start filling up, and he says to me, you are not that smart are you?

 

[tommyboy]

You killed a guy. We get it

 

[TheMagus]

I think this story ends with the OP being in jail since Sunday, hence the update.

 

[NorvilleBarnes]

I pull up at start filling up, and he says to me, you are not that smart are you?

 

 

[Doctor Detroit]

You killed a guy. We get it

Seems like this is the way this is all headed.

Hopefully it's a truck driver, those guys are #####. 

 

[IC FBGCav]

I said, man, didnt mean to make your life harder.    He left, there was a sherriff in the place, plus i had a gun.   What would u do?

 

[tommyboy]

Was the other guys name sconch?

 

[rockaction]

So I am still waiting and he is getting gas next to us.  He throws down his helmet 5 times and is just irrate. Looks back at me and says you have something else to say

Did you say anything

 

[IC FBGCav]

Did you say anything

No

 

[ShamrockPride]

I said, man, didnt mean to make your life harder.    He left, there was a sherriff in the place, plus i had a gun.   What would u do?

When I read this all I can envision is you angrily mashing at your space key.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

I said, man, didnt mean to make your life harder.    He left, there was a sherriff in the place, plus i had a gun.   What would u do?

Don't shoot your wife, that's illegal in most states. 

 

[TheMagus]

I said, man, didnt mean to make your life harder.    He left, there was a sherriff in the place, plus i had a gun.   What would u do?

 

[IC FBGCav]

My first thought was to say fu.....but what happens then?   Kills me that i took the higher road but this guy was insane.  So all or nothing.

 

[-fish-]

So you framed your wife for robbing the gas station and the sheriff arrested her?

 

[NorvilleBarnes]

he says to me, you are not that smart are you?

"Well sir, that's what the people on the internet tell me."

 

[[scooter]]

I said, man, didnt mean to make your life harder.    He left, there was a sherriff in the place, plus i had a gun.   What would u do?

I'd offer him some Hitchcock alfredo.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

I'm going to bed, hopefully everyone lives in this story. 

 

[-fish-]

You should try 200 sober

 

[rockaction]

"Well sir, that's what the people on the internet tell me."

I was going with the likelihood that the quote needed a [sic]. The chances he said "are not" are rather slim, it appears. I'm going "ain't."