UGH! "We need to talk" (1 Viewer)

[Yankee23Fan]

The whole measurement of who works more crap in marriages is something I have no time for. And it's never ever the real ultimate reason that the subject matter is brought up anyway. There is always - always - something more in depth and real than her just thinking you need to vacuum the living room more.

Same with me when she starts up about this (which is rare but does happen). I just check out and begin the automated response sequence, yea, uh huh, yep, I understand...

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

You should be dressing like Shaq in Shazzam if she asks you to. Get off your lazy ### and make the woman a sammich!

No, automated responses give the illusion to her that you are actually listening. You need to specifically let her know that you aren't listening at all. Her speaking in that manner in that way on that topic is out of bounds and will not be tolerated under any circumstances.

 

[NutterButter]

Either you don't make much or you need to start hiring some people to help out.

I make myself around 65k a year.

Ok, so you're pulling in like 300K as a fam and you don't have someone to clean the house and your wife is sweating losing a grandfathered unlimited plan?

This is what we talked about, but it is not the "REASON!" The reason is she is pissed her friend is taking advantage of her. And, she is having displaced anger.

In that case, you just sit there and be a good listener. And hire a cleaning service already. Good god.

 

[shadyridr]

My wife whines that I dont clean enough around the house. I just roll my eyes and ignore her. Then one day she came home from work and the first thing out of her mouth was this house looks like a bomb hit it. I told her I pick up our son from school, do HW with him for 45 minutes, let him play while I cook dinner for all of us and then after all that I play with him because the ####### kid goes to school from 7-5 and then does HW and I want him to enjoy himself a little while so why dont you shut the #### up and realize how much #### I do around here after work. Pretty much shut her up and the next day she was all apologetic.

 

[Plorfu]

In that case, you just sit there and be a good listener. And hire a cleaning service already. Good god.

Just make sure to ask for a raise in your allowance to cover the cost.

 

[Quez]

When my wife pulls crap like this I say "stop yelling at me, and bossing me around, etc". Even when she isn't yelling. If you are as persistent as she is it will eventually flip the script, and make her think she is actually being mean to you. Oh, and persistently ask of bjs too.

 

[jonessed]

If your family makes the kind of money you are insinuating hiring someone to help around the house should be easy.

With the salary difference being so large I'm not even sure why you work at all.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

Whoa!! Good for you!!

However, she is the boss and you must do as she says.

 

[Insein]

Worst phrase in the English language. Nothing ever good comes from it.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

When my wife pulls crap like this I say "stop yelling at me, and bossing me around, etc". Even when she isn't yelling. If you are as persistent as she is it will eventually flip the script, and make her think she is actually being mean to you. Oh, and persistently ask of bjs too.

Never ask for them ever. Tell her.

 

[Eminence]

#### her, she's lucky you're not banging some skank who works at a tanning salon. Make sure she knows how good she has it. This stuff pisses me off.

You're on a roll today.

 

[Dentist]

Yeah, i'm super cheap but if my family household income was over 300K even I'd have a maid, quickly.

 

[Al O'Pecia]

The worst four word combo in the entire English language.

"I think I'm pregnant."

 

[Cjw_55106]

The worst four word combo in the entire English language.

Does it get bigger?

 

[jamny]

20 years married and my wife has never hit me with the "We Need To Talk" line. We've had only one disagreement (not even a fight/argument) in probably 10+ years.

:nokids:

 

[doowain]

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

Go in the kitchen and make her a sammich.

This.

Get off the computer and get back in the kitchen where you belong.

 

[doowain]

Worst phrase in the English language. Nothing ever good comes from it.

Yep.

Great advice

 

[chet]

Tell your wife to grow a pair and stand up to her friend.

I probably don't need to tell you the script but I will just in case it isn't crystal clear. You did a favor for her friend when she needed it. Now her friend is asking for another favor which will result in your family losing something you can't get back. No ####### way IMO. If your wife explains that to her friend and the friend still doesn't drop her request, the friend is a selfish #### who doesn't deserve the friendship.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So every now and then I get the "We Need To Talk" from my wife. Well this am I got just that while I was still half asleep. So of course my races a million miles per hour. So I think to myself did I delete my browser history? Have I said something to someone that is offensive? And, then she hits me with, "I feel like you are not doing your fair share around the house." I get this talk about once a year. Usually after she feels taken advantage of from someone, she does some self reflection and all the ways she feels she has been slighted. It always ends with me "NOT DOING MY FAIR SHARE." The most recent incident happened when her friend was on our AT&T plan for the past 8 years on the unlimited plan. Her friend is getting married and switching over to her husband's plan, but she wants to keep her phone number. Well you can't keep the number without taking that line away from us, and us losing that unlimited plan "Grandfathered. Today was the talk again. I just know at this point to be quiet and let her vent. I need to do more cleaning around the house, do more dishes, do more laundry, help out with the kids more, cook more. She starts to tear up and now I feel I like a POS. OMG! It basically sounded like I am a tenant renting out a room at her house.

So to help out more I got on the internet, searched for new fappening leaks, and posted this rant.

tl;dr

 

[Slapdash]

Sounds like you need to help out more

 

[El Floppo]

The worst four word combo in the entire English language.

"I think I'm pregnant."

"oops, ####"

 

[Dentist]

20 years married and my wife has never hit me with the "We Need To Talk" line. We've had only one disagreement (not even a fight/argument) in probably 10+ years.

:nokids:

Even in lieu of kids this really seems hard to believe. You either a) have the coolest wife of all-time and if so congratulations or b) are like my friend who claims the same thing and basically just lay down anytime there is a situation where you might upset her... basically you do whatever she wants, whenever she wants it... thus nothing to complain about... I never see this friend because he can't be away from his wife (aside from work) for more than an hour or two.

Throughout all the years I've dated girls I've only dated one that didn't nag or do "we need to talk" kind of stuff.. and it turns out that girl seeing other dudes and really wasn't very committed to me in the first place, so she really didn't care.

 

[Ned]

20 years married and my wife has never hit me with the "We Need To Talk" line. We've had only one disagreement (not even a fight/argument) in probably 10+ years.

:nokids:

Even in lieu of kids this really seems hard to believe. You either a) have the coolest wife of all-time and if so congratulations or b) are like my friend who claims the same thing and basically just lay down anytime there is a situation where you might upset her... basically you do whatever she wants, whenever she wants it... thus nothing to complain about... I never see this friend because he can't be away from his wife (aside from work) for more than an hour or two.

Throughout all the years I've dated girls I've only dated one that didn't nag or do "we need to talk" kind of stuff.. and it turns out that girl seeing other dudes and really wasn't very committed to me in the first place, so she really didn't care.

Meh, it's really not that hard to believe. My wife and I have had some fights (together 18yrs, married over 10), but it's always been because I am a #######. I married a saint of a woman and it took me a while to realize just exactly who I had. I read stories like this crap and thank my lucky stars.

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

Well just finished cleaning the house.

Thanks for the advice

 

[tdoss]

You wouldn't have that line if the friend didn't ask for the favor. Imagine a world where the friend never asked.

You'd be sitting with no unlimited line to give to your kid.

Let it go.

You make $300K a year. Get a damn maid...consider the unlimited line a charity move for a friend...be a damn bigger person than this...This is piddly crap.

It's beneath you.

And until you get the maid...clean the house and do whatever it takes to make this woman happy...she can buy and sell your @zz.

 

[jamny]

20 years married and my wife has never hit me with the "We Need To Talk" line. We've had only one disagreement (not even a fight/argument) in probably 10+ years.

:nokids:

Even in lieu of kids this really seems hard to believe. You either a) have the coolest wife of all-time and if so congratulations or b) are like my friend who claims the same thing and basically just lay down anytime there is a situation where you might upset her... basically you do whatever she wants, whenever she wants it... thus nothing to complain about... I never see this friend because he can't be away from his wife (aside from work) for more than an hour or two.

Throughout all the years I've dated girls I've only dated one that didn't nag or do "we need to talk" kind of stuff.. and it turns out that girl seeing other dudes and really wasn't very committed to me in the first place, so she really didn't care.

While I'll admit that my philosophy has always been "whatever makes her happy" and we spend most of our time together, I do it because I want to not because any demands on her part. She hates wimpy men. She works in a high level executive position and the last things she wants is to come home and have to make decisions. I am the alpha (hate that term) in the relationship but my big contribution is to cheer her up, make her laugh and get her to decompress from her job. She is easily the hardest working person I have ever met. And she's no nonsense, brutally honest. There's no drama or games. That's why she's done well in business. Her bosses always like her because she's not a yes man.

She would never let something stew to the point of having to say "we need to talk" She says it when it bothers her. I consider myself extremely lucky for finding her.

 

[eoMMan]

Well just finished cleaning the house.

Thanks for the advice

Now get that tongue warmed up for tonight, buddy. She's earned it.

 

[NutterButter]

Well just finished cleaning the house.

Thanks for the advice

WTF, you're supposed to say, I just finished hiring a cleaning lady. You're making 300k+. What the hell are you spending that on?

 

[jon_mx]

Either you don't make much or you need to start hiring some people to help out.

I make myself around 65k a year.

Ok, so you're pulling in like 300K as a fam and you don't have someone to clean the house and your wife is sweating losing a grandfathered unlimited plan?

This is what we talked about, but it is not the "REASON!" The reason is she is pissed her friend is taking advantage of her. And, she is having displaced anger.

In that case, you just sit there and be a good listener. And hire a cleaning service already. Good god.

Or hire the phone moocher to clean the house.

 

[Dentist]

20 years married and my wife has never hit me with the "We Need To Talk" line. We've had only one disagreement (not even a fight/argument) in probably 10+ years.

:nokids:

Even in lieu of kids this really seems hard to believe. You either a) have the coolest wife of all-time and if so congratulations or b) are like my friend who claims the same thing and basically just lay down anytime there is a situation where you might upset her... basically you do whatever she wants, whenever she wants it... thus nothing to complain about... I never see this friend because he can't be away from his wife (aside from work) for more than an hour or two.

Throughout all the years I've dated girls I've only dated one that didn't nag or do "we need to talk" kind of stuff.. and it turns out that girl seeing other dudes and really wasn't very committed to me in the first place, so she really didn't care.

While I'll admit that my philosophy has always been "whatever makes her happy" and we spend most of our time together, I do it because I want to not because any demands on her part. She hates wimpy men. She works in a high level executive position and the last things she wants is to come home and have to make decisions. I am the alpha (hate that term) in the relationship but my big contribution is to cheer her up, make her laugh and get her to decompress from her job. She is easily the hardest working person I have ever met. And she's no nonsense, brutally honest. There's no drama or games. That's why she's done well in business. Her bosses always like her because she's not a yes man.

She would never let something stew to the point of having to say "we need to talk" She says it when it bothers her. I consider myself extremely lucky for finding her.

sounds fortunate for you.. sounds like you don't push the envelope either.

I fight tooth and nail for every amount of alone time or bro time as much as possible.. thus the rifts that occur.... but without those times I'd rather be dead.

 

[jon_mx]

My suggestion is to move into a huge house and become house poor and have even more house work to do.

 

[jamny]

20 years married and my wife has never hit me with the "We Need To Talk" line. We've had only one disagreement (not even a fight/argument) in probably 10+ years.

:nokids:

Even in lieu of kids this really seems hard to believe. You either a) have the coolest wife of all-time and if so congratulations or b) are like my friend who claims the same thing and basically just lay down anytime there is a situation where you might upset her... basically you do whatever she wants, whenever she wants it... thus nothing to complain about... I never see this friend because he can't be away from his wife (aside from work) for more than an hour or two.

Throughout all the years I've dated girls I've only dated one that didn't nag or do "we need to talk" kind of stuff.. and it turns out that girl seeing other dudes and really wasn't very committed to me in the first place, so she really didn't care.

While I'll admit that my philosophy has always been "whatever makes her happy" and we spend most of our time together, I do it because I want to not because any demands on her part. She hates wimpy men. She works in a high level executive position and the last things she wants is to come home and have to make decisions. I am the alpha (hate that term) in the relationship but my big contribution is to cheer her up, make her laugh and get her to decompress from her job. She is easily the hardest working person I have ever met. And she's no nonsense, brutally honest. There's no drama or games. That's why she's done well in business. Her bosses always like her because she's not a yes man.

She would never let something stew to the point of having to say "we need to talk" She says it when it bothers her. I consider myself extremely lucky for finding her.

sounds fortunate for you.. sounds like you don't push the envelope either.

I fight tooth and nail for every amount of alone time or bro time as much as possible.. thus the rifts that occur.... but without those times I'd rather be dead.

Yeah, that's a definite difference. I work from home a lot and have plenty of alone time. And as corny as it sounds, she's my best friend and there's no one else I'd rather hang out with. Most of our friends moved out of NY a long time ago but I'll have a few beers with some friends to watch a game now and then but it's not anything I need to do to keep my sanity.

 

[urbanhack]

My wife whines that I dont clean enough around the house. I just roll my eyes and ignore her.

Sounds like you are a great partner.

 

[McGarnicle]

Wife: We need to ta--

Me: SHUT THE #### UP!!!

Wife: I wish you would do more around he-

Me: SHUT THE #### UP!!!

Wife: I found a pair of red thong panties in the pool. Definitely not mine.

Me:

Me: SHUT THE #### UP!!!

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

She just got home, and acting like nothing happened.

 

[Green and Gold]

If my wife made that kind of cash I'd be a stay at home dad.

 

[urbanhack]

She just got home, and acting like nothing happened.

Tell her you want to talk about your cleaning job.

 

[17seconds]

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

I have a buddy in the same situation... wife makes a lot more money that he did. He did the same thing... supported her in school and everything... but once she started making the dough she walked around like she owned the place and the wife feels like she's "better" than he is.

It's not a recoverable situation.

I've got a buddy who is most likely divorcing for something similar.

They married when they were 20. He was the breadwinner until a few years ago. She went back to get a degree and is now in education on the fast track. She was a kindergarten teacher for a couple of years, moved right into district administration and all of a sudden is making like $85k. They have one daughter who will be going off to college in a year.

So now, the wife tells him she's done. Has her own thing, doesn't need him anymore, put up with his #### for so long and they'll be empty nesters so

 

[cstu]

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

Why don't you hire a cleaning lady?

 

[17seconds]

If my wife made that kind of cash I'd be a stay at home dad.

If my wife made half of what I make I'd go back to being an "individual contributor" and would enjoy working again

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

She just got home, and acting like nothing happened.

Tell her you want to talk about your cleaning job.

I want to wait until about 3am, wake her up and say, "I can't sleep we need to talk."

 

[Gene Sackman]

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

I didn't realize this. Sorry, you have to do whatever she says.

 

[Gene Sackman]

SHIZNITTTT: See guys, I'm washing lettuce, soon I'll be on fries, then the grill, couple years I'll hit assistant mamager, and that's when the starts to roll in and she'll have to listen to me..

 

[Sabertooth]

My wife accused my houses of all being money pits. I'm a house flipper. I reminded her that I made more money than she did this year. She shut up for a little while.

 

[Sabertooth]

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

I have a buddy in the same situation... wife makes a lot more money that he did. He did the same thing... supported her in school and everything... but once she started making the dough she walked around like she owned the place and the wife feels like she's "better" than he is.

It's not a recoverable situation.

I've got a buddy who is most likely divorcing for something similar.

They married when they were 20. He was the breadwinner until a few years ago. She went back to get a degree and is now in education on the fast track. She was a kindergarten teacher for a couple of years, moved right into district administration and all of a sudden is making like $85k. They have one daughter who will be going off to college in a year.

So now, the wife tells him she's done. Has her own thing, doesn't need him anymore, put up with his #### for so long and they'll be empty nesters so

So he basically hit the lottery? Oooh tough break. Now he's going to be what 40? Single and with his wife paying him alimony? Tough break. Golfing all the time. Banging much younger women? Is he in shape? Because he really needs to get in shape before the divorce is final. Much hotter chicks if you are in shape.

 

[17seconds]

Does your wife work?

Yeah this is the pisser! She makes about 4 times what I do. She went back to school when the twins were small. I worked my ### off while she was in school, but I have been coasting a little bit of late.

I have a buddy in the same situation... wife makes a lot more money that he did. He did the same thing... supported her in school and everything... but once she started making the dough she walked around like she owned the place and the wife feels like she's "better" than he is.

It's not a recoverable situation.

I've got a buddy who is most likely divorcing for something similar.

They married when they were 20. He was the breadwinner until a few years ago. She went back to get a degree and is now in education on the fast track. She was a kindergarten teacher for a couple of years, moved right into district administration and all of a sudden is making like $85k. They have one daughter who will be going off to college in a year.

So now, the wife tells him she's done. Has her own thing, doesn't need him anymore, put up with his #### for so long and they'll be empty nesters so

So he basically hit the lottery? Oooh tough break. Now he's going to be what 40? Single and with his wife paying him alimony? Tough break. Golfing all the time. Banging much younger women? Is he in shape? Because he really needs to get in shape before the divorce is final. Much hotter chicks if you are in shape.

He makes more than she does.

Sure it's a great deal if you don't love your wife. He wants to stay married though. He was really looking forward to the DINK lifestyle

 

[Sabertooth]

Hopefully he can use the fact that she's cheating on him to leverage a better divorce settlement. Because I can almost guarantee she is.

 

[17seconds]

Hopefully he can use the fact that she's cheating on him to leverage a better divorce settlement. Because I can almost guarantee she is.

That doesn't really matter in this state. She is actually trying to find chicks for him. lol..

Word to the wise: When your wife is trying to hook you up, it might be over.

 

[Sabertooth]

Hopefully he can use the fact that she's cheating on him to leverage a better divorce settlement. Because I can almost guarantee she is.

That doesn't really matter in this state. She is actually trying to find chicks for him. lol..

Word to the wise: When your wife is trying to hook you up, it might be over.

Yeah. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he ends up with a better replacement for her than she does for him. A 40 year old man is established, a 40 year old woman is just....well not a 30 year old woman. Tell him to get in shape.

 

[17seconds]

20 years married and my wife has never hit me with the "We Need To Talk" line. We've had only one disagreement (not even a fight/argument) in probably 10+ years.

:nokids:

Even in lieu of kids this really seems hard to believe. You either a) have the coolest wife of all-time and if so congratulations or b) are like my friend who claims the same thing and basically just lay down anytime there is a situation where you might upset her... basically you do whatever she wants, whenever she wants it... thus nothing to complain about... I never see this friend because he can't be away from his wife (aside from work) for more than an hour or two.

Throughout all the years I've dated girls I've only dated one that didn't nag or do "we need to talk" kind of stuff.. and it turns out that girl seeing other dudes and really wasn't very committed to me in the first place, so she really didn't care.

While I'll admit that my philosophy has always been "whatever makes her happy" and we spend most of our time together, I do it because I want to not because any demands on her part. She hates wimpy men. She works in a high level executive position and the last things she wants is to come home and have to make decisions. I am the alpha (hate that term) in the relationship but my big contribution is to cheer her up, make her laugh and get her to decompress from her job. She is easily the hardest working person I have ever met. And she's no nonsense, brutally honest. There's no drama or games. That's why she's done well in business. Her bosses always like her because she's not a yes man.

She would never let something stew to the point of having to say "we need to talk" She says it when it bothers her. I consider myself extremely lucky for finding her.

sounds fortunate for you.. sounds like you don't push the envelope either.

I fight tooth and nail for every amount of alone time or bro time as much as possible.. thus the rifts that occur.... but without those times I'd rather be dead.

That's gonna be a problem for a long time, and it may end up destroying the whole thing if it is that important to you and if she starts thinking that all you want to do is get away from your family. Even if it's just some good 'ol bro time, you don't want to end up in that spot.

 

[Henry Ford]

"I feel like you are not doing your fair share around the house." I get this talk about once a year.

What are you complaining about? I get that talk every other day.

Man it sucks.

Yes, yes it does suck.My wife makes no sense with her complaints either. For instance, I was yelled at like I was a child just this morning. I stayed up late to watch last night's games, and promised her I'd do the dishes before I went to bed. I got too sloshed and didn't do the dishes last night so I woke up early to do the dishes before work and before anyone else got up. I was just wrapping up the dishes this morning when my wife came downstairs and instantly started leaning into me about not doing the dishes last night. I explained to her that I was a little too tired to do the dishes at the end of the game last night (I left out the drunk part) so I put the dishes off until the morning knowing full well that I'd wake up early and do the dishes before I left for work and before she could find them and have to do them herself. And "Voila!" they're done!

It didn't matter that I upheld the spirit of my promise to do the dishes so that she didn't have to do them, and it didn't matter that I accomplished this before she usually wakes up or before the kid was awake. I had failed to live up to my promise to do the dishes last night while everyone was asleep. And for that I deserved to be treated like a #####.

I don't even care anymore. She's like a football coach who has lost the team. I see the lips moving, but my mind is in a completely different place.

Tell her that this crap will no longer be tolerated and from this point forward if she acts like a child again you will treat her like one.

Stop drumming up business.