What one thing - that you can do "OK" - do you wish you could do a LOT better? (1 Viewer)

[nirad3]

Schtick clearly encouraged here, but what one thing... that you can do "OK".... do you wish you did a whole lot better?

For me the first thing to came to mind (since there are plenty of things) is singing. I sang backup in a HS/college band with a few buddies but was always too nervous (or perhaps not good enough) to ever take the lead. When I do karaoke, it's to something like Rage Against the Machine or De La Soul, where there isn't much "singing" per se.

I can carry a tune decently, certainly not too off-key, but probably sound way better to myself or in the shower. But yeah, I'd love to maybe take voice lessons and improve on my singing voice. If for nothing else to rock and impress the fairer sex with my singing voice.

What say you?

 

[Zow]

For the amount of time, effort, and energy I put into baseball from like ages 12 - 27 (and then a decade or so of competitive softball) I do wish I was more than just "okay" at it. I'm just not that naturally talented and while I don't really regret to hundreds of hours I put into baseball, I do wish I would have been a bit better at it.

 

[ProstheticRGK]

Golf. I am really not even OK at it. I break 100, usually, on the fairly easy local courses I play. I don't play often or regularly enough to get down to a single-digit handicap. Maybe when I retire and play every day.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Figure out people. If they don't know what they are doing from one moment to the next, how am I supposed to know?

 

[TripItUp]

another vote for golf

I'm like a 20 handicap and would love to be a 5

 

[CletiusMaximus]

Chess. Have always wanted to be a better than average player my entire life. Have read books and used apps to learn and get better over the past 30+ years of my life but it’s never clicked for me and at my age never will. I still watch YouTubes and buy learning apps, as recently as last week, but I know I’ll never be an above average player.

 

[snellman]

I wish I was good at handy man things. I have seen my brother completely remodel his basement, build a whole new porch that looked really good, etc. When it comes down to it, no matter how hard I try I just can't do it or if I do, it doesn't look good.

 

[bigbottom]

I’m an OK guitar player. A good rhythm player, but I’d love to be a great lead player who could shred solos. You’d think after playing for 39 years I’d be better than just OK.

 

[BeTheMatch]

Golf

 

[The Dreaded Marco]

My first thought was also singing but that was immediately eliminated because I've never even been an OK singer. I'm pretty terrible.

So, I'd also go with golf. I've played since I was pretty young and I've been an OK player over the years but never "really good". It's also a sport you can (hopefully) play into old age---another bonus.

 

[Mister CIA]

I’m an OK guitar player. A good rhythm player, but I’d love to be a great lead player who could shred solos. You’d think after playing for 39 years I’d be better than just OK.

Rhythm guitar rules: Exhibit A

 

[Drunken knight]

Languages: I have a decent aptitude but haven’t practiced much, so have lost grammar and vocabulary over time

 

[AAABatteries]

Nice try getting me banned!

 

[AAABatteries]

Only thing I can think of is being more knowledgeable about camping - feeling a little more self-sufficient when outdoors.

 

[PIK95]

I wish I was better at keeping track of FBG's, and all the alias. I never know who I am talking to, and I have been here a while.

 

[-OZ-]

Swimming, biking and running.

Home repair, auto repair, etc. I can handle most things in our house but no doubt I could do better and if it wasn’t for my father in law I wouldn’t do most of what I have done. My dad has many positive attributes but every time anything needed fixing he’d either call a pro or our neighbor - GREAT guy, he became like my grandpa. But dad had no blue collar skills and I’ve largely taken after him but I try.
If I had the experience I would have bought a few houses a couple years ago and would buy a vacation home without question.

 

[brun]

It's too late to have much of an impact. Wish I had been a better parent.

 

[bushdocda]

Motors and the like and maybe being more willing to small talk. But yeah motors and fixing stuff.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Climbing and skiing.

 

[beer 30]

Fixing/building stuff around the house. Always been jealous of the guys who could just put on addition over the weekend and not break a sweat.

Outdoorsman stuff would be the guilty pleasure I’d like to be better at as a close second.

 

[BobbyLayne]

It's too late to have much of an impact. Wish I had been a better parent.

We can't go back and change the past. This is one area that is especially painful bc we loom large in their lives, and frankly, we tend to be doing parenting at suboptimal stages of our lives. I know so much more now about myself, interpersonal communication, long term effects of disappointment, (unintentional) childhood traumatic events, than I did in my 20s, 30s, 40s. It can be haunting.

I'll offer this. I did not have a good relationship with my father. I gave him no credit and saw only the flaws. I determined to live my life by the mantra of asking "what would Big D do?" and then doing the opposite. I was convinced he was a Grade A butthole in every area of his life: as a father, a husband, and an entrepreneur. Whatever my life became, I wanted only to be the opposite of him. An offhand remark or maybe it was an idiom I read in my late 20s caused me to alter my worldview.

"At some point - say age 25, or perhaps 30 - you have to stop blaming your parents. Fix yourself instead."

They did the best they could, and they had no manual or training. They could only know how to parent based on their own dysfunctional childhoods. Know this: there is no such thing as a generational curse, you can - and will - break cycles of abuse or neglect. A good starting point is to forgive them, know they love you (even if they suck at expressing it), and choose to love them. Make the positive choice of forgiveness and accept them as the flawed humans they are.

I did that with my old man. He didn't love sports or history like I do. He liked to follow the markets and boating the great lakes. So I decided to educate myself a bit and pursue those interests, to the extent we could have stuff to talk about. I did not make it easy for him. I set boundaries and insisted he treat me as a fully functioning adult capable of good decisions. But I also began treating him with more deference and respect, and I stopped hating him for being imperfect.

TBF Nothing too magical or spectacular happened over the last 20 years of his life. We did grow to have a warmth and mutual respect that wasn't present before. When I stopped trying to gain his approval and just accepted he was probably an ******* to the core, his opinion became less important to me. I loved him as best I could, forgave him to the extent I was able, and was appreciative that our relationship evolved from parent-child to one more akin to an imperfect companionship.

I don't have the best relationship with my son. I understand why (I think), he has insecurities, possibly abandonment issues - I wasn't always there for him. I can't change that. But i'll keep trying. I am hopeful one day he'll have an epiphany similar to mine. If not, I will have known I did my best. I won't ever stop trying to make things better between us, though. I can't change what happened, but I can try to be the best version of myself going forward. Maybe our relationship evolves over time, as mine did with my father. There's no guarantee it will, but I won't ever give up on trying to understand him better. I won't stop hoping he will understand and accept me better. We cannot control others, and accepting that is a hard thing. But all we can do is focus on that which is within our sphere of influence, the things we are able to change. I can change myself, incrementally, slowly, over time, if I live with mindful intentionality. I can't change others.

HTH

edit typo

 

[Zow]

another vote for golf

I'm like a 20 handicap and would love to be a 5

My index just hit 5 for the first time so I'll try to explain what you're missing.

Pros:
1. No truly bad rounds. I know in my last 60-70 rounds I've never shot 90 or worse and I'm honestly not remembering a score worse than 86 or 87. So, it's very comforting stepping on the first box and knowing that no matter how "badly" I may play, it may be frustrating but never embarrassing.
2. I can play with anybody except for maybe the pros at a very challenging course with Major conditions. This kind of ties in with point 1, but I now commonly often play with scratches/plus handicaps and what separates us over 18 holes is general the aggregation of their seemingly de minimis better proximity to the hole and total putts. In other words, their 72 is obviously better than my 78 or whatever at the end of the round, but it doesn't look at that different during the round. So, barring those incredibly challenging conditions where my flaws would be exacerbated, I can probably tee it up with like a John Rahm and not at least look or, more importantly, feel silly if I got paired with him. Don't get me wrong, he'd crush me and I think would be giving me almost a stroke per hole which is nuts, but my point is that I wouldn't significantly slow him down, annoy him, and we'd least appear to the novice neutral observer that it makes sense we're playing together. In short, to quote my plus-handicap playing partners, as a 5 I generally hit the ball where I want to.

Cons:
1. It's really, really hard to get better. Unless I quit my day job and focus on golf, I doubt I'll ever get a ton better because I just don't have the time to and, right now, my margin for error in getting better is really, really tight and probably requires significantly more practice (e.g. improving proximity to hole, three-putt avoidance, course and tee box management). Additionally, with turning 40 and my length inevitably plummeting here in the next few years/decade, I will need to work hard to improve make short game to make up for my lost length so I probably never improve just based on my regular play.
2. It's really, really hard to win tournaments now. I say this because where I had this wonderfully dangerous variance and volatility as a double-digit handicap and I could legitimately beat my handicap by several strokes on a good day, I now basically live in this 6ish or stroke window (76-82) that makes it really challenging for me to win a 100% handicapped net game. For example this past weekend I shot a 76 on the last day of a three-day tournament - which is me playing really well with very few mistakes and no disastrous errors - but still barely moving the overall needle in the net game as higher handicaps had a few putts go in that maybe normally wouldn't and shot multiple strokes better than their handicap whereas my very solid to really good day only beat my handicap by 1 stroke.

Tl;dr: Being a 5 handicap is fun because you can hold your own with anybody, but it's really, really hard to win tournaments and can feel monotonous over the course of time.

 

[General Malaise]

Disc Golf. I don't care about ball golf anymore. But I'd like to be able to hang with Hack one day.

Cooking. I'm great at a few things, but I can ruin other dishes that shouldn't be that hard (looking at you, Orange Chicken).

Investing. 25 years in the hedge fund space has given me prime seats to the action of pro portfolio managers and generally, I just trail their trades when I can. But when I go out on my own with stock picks, I don't do so well (screw you in particular NKE and BROS). It's why I've never been given a book to run myself.

 

[Gally]

Tl;dr: Being a 5 handicap is fun because you can hold your own with anybody, but it's really, really hard to win tournaments and can feel monotonous over the course of time.

You good golfers do take all the fun out of the game. I mean when you know where the ball is going every time there is no excitement....hahaha. When I hit the ball it go anywhere from 100 yds OB to right down the middle. Now that is excitement. Plus you really are short changing your view of the course......only seeing the fairways. I get to see the whole course. Plus you pay much more per swing for a round. I really get my money's worth.

All kidding aside, really the biggest thing that would help my game is learning to manage the course and play to my distance strengths. For example, I am terrible in the 70-100 yd range because I don't have a club that is consistent in those distances. I either have to go 70% on a bigger club or over swing a smaller club and I don't play enough to learn that touch. But I don't manage the course to avoid those distances. I typically try and hit the ball as far as I can every shot to get closer to the hole rather than layup to a distance I am more consistent with. When I do that I usually shave 5-10 shots off my score just by that one adjustment. But when I am out on the course drinking a few pops I go back to the "let's see if I can get there from here" and swing from the heels to hit it as far as I can. If I ever want to get serious about score improvement this is the first step. In addition, I probalby need a lesson to really improve so that I know how to make adjustments on my swing when things go haywire.

 

[Gally]

It's really, really hard to get better.

But at this point do you really NEED to get better. Being a 5 is outstanding and affords you the chance to have a really good round. Like you said, you are 99% there and the effort to get that last 1 % is probably more than it took you to get to where you are.

 

[Zow]

Disc Golf. I don't care about ball golf anymore. But I'd like to be able to hang with Hack one day.

Cooking. I'm great at a few things, but I can ruin other dishes that shouldn't be that hard (looking at you, Orange Chicken).

Investing. 25 years in the hedge fund space has given me prime seats to the action of pro portfolio managers and generally, I just trail their trades when I can. But when I go out on my own with stock picks, I don't do so well (screw you in particular NKE and BROS). It's why I've never been given a book to run myself.

Stop this.

 

[belljr]

I don't want to say home repairs because I can fix a lot of stuff..... but say replacing a window or putting a new window in..... or building out a new room. I can do it but I'm just ok and it takes a long time because I will screw something up or forget what I need to do. In the end it will come out fine but I lose patience especially with the finishing touches.....

 

[Gally]

Since so many people have already gone the golf path I will change it up and go with bowling. I am about a 160 average but can go anywhere from 230 down to 130 on any given day. I just can't quite figure out the release at this point to be consistently in the pocket to string strikes which is what I need to take the next step. I am consistent on most spares and am around the pocket most throws but I see other guys that are just like robots. I haven't been able to get there.

 

[Zow]

It's really, really hard to get better.

But at this point do you really NEED to get better. Being a 5 is outstanding and affords you the chance to have a really good round. Like you said, you are 99% there and the effort to get that last 1 % is probably more than it took you to get to where you are.

Need? No, probably not, other than just for my own ego - which is why golf isn't my answer in this thread.. I suppose it's like anything in life where @TripItUp wants to be a 5, as a 5 I want to be at where a couple of my buddies are as a scratch or a plus (just to say I got there).

 

[General Malaise]

Disc Golf. I don't care about ball golf anymore. But I'd like to be able to hang with Hack one day.

Cooking. I'm great at a few things, but I can ruin other dishes that shouldn't be that hard (looking at you, Orange Chicken).

Investing. 25 years in the hedge fund space has given me prime seats to the action of pro portfolio managers and generally, I just trail their trades when I can. But when I go out on my own with stock picks, I don't do so well (screw you in particular NKE and BROS). It's why I've never been given a book to run myself.

Stop this.

Precisely why I stopped playing this sport. Y'all is wound up too tight. You probably correct people when they say "British Open". Ball golf guys need to lighten up.

 

[Moe.]

For stuff that matters, I wish I was more patient with my son when he’s in a mood. He is 4 and gets really particular about certain things. He wants to wear a specific shirt, have a different brand of yogurt for breakfast, whatever. He gets really emotional really fast when it’s not exactly his way and I don’t handle it as well as I should. I get frustrated and raise my voice. Then I feel horrible about it the rest of the day.

For stuff that doesn’t really matter, my backhand drives are abysmal relative to the rest of my game in disc golf. When I play with strangers I get a lot of “you throw a forehand here?” and then they see me throw a backhand and I don’t get that question anymore.

 

[Zow]

Disc Golf. I don't care about ball golf anymore. But I'd like to be able to hang with Hack one day.

Cooking. I'm great at a few things, but I can ruin other dishes that shouldn't be that hard (looking at you, Orange Chicken).

Investing. 25 years in the hedge fund space has given me prime seats to the action of pro portfolio managers and generally, I just trail their trades when I can. But when I go out on my own with stock picks, I don't do so well (screw you in particular NKE and BROS). It's why I've never been given a book to run myself.

Stop this.

Precisely why I stopped playing this sport. Y'all is wound up too tight. You probably correct people when they say "British Open". Ball golf guys need to lighten up.

I bet you loved Trump's tweets where he'd just randomly change the names of things, too.

 

[General Malaise]

Disc Golf. I don't care about ball golf anymore. But I'd like to be able to hang with Hack one day.

Cooking. I'm great at a few things, but I can ruin other dishes that shouldn't be that hard (looking at you, Orange Chicken).

Investing. 25 years in the hedge fund space has given me prime seats to the action of pro portfolio managers and generally, I just trail their trades when I can. But when I go out on my own with stock picks, I don't do so well (screw you in particular NKE and BROS). It's why I've never been given a book to run myself.

Stop this.

Precisely why I stopped playing this sport. Y'all is wound up too tight. You probably correct people when they say "British Open". Ball golf guys need to lighten up.

I bet you loved Trump's tweets where he'd just randomly change the names of things, too.

I blocked him as soon as I could and don't let him live in my head anymore. He gets the same treatment Stephen A Smith and the Kardashians get....the second I hear their names, my brain puts up a forcefield and I tune it out like I do all my kids' tv programming.

Now go outside and play some golf, young man.

 

[TripItUp]

I was going to say pickleball but I'm pretty good now and am getting better...might be able to play Senior pro soon. Look at me.

 

[General Malaise]

For stuff that matters, I wish I was more patient with my son when he’s in a mood. He is 4 and gets really particular about certain things. He wants to wear a specific shirt, have a different brand of yogurt for breakfast, whatever. He gets really emotional really fast when it’s not exactly his way and I don’t handle it as well as I should. I get frustrated and raise my voice. Then I feel horrible about it the rest of the day.

For stuff that doesn’t really matter, my backhand drives are abysmal relative to the rest of my game in disc golf. When I play with strangers I get a lot of “you throw a forehand here?” and then they see me throw a backhand and I don’t get that question anymore.

Sooooooooooo, you're a parent? Lol....you'll get through it. 4 is a challenge. Remember that it's way easier for your to control your emotions than it is for him and try to give him a wider margin for exploring his emotional range. This too shall pass and just be glad you don't have TWO 4-year old sons at the same time (with a 7 year old daughter and two teenage sons all under one roof).

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I wish I was good at handy man things. I have seen my brother completely remodel his basement, build a whole new porch that looked really good, etc. When it comes down to it, no matter how hard I try I just can't do it or if I do, it doesn't look good.

This

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Ball golf.

 

[Gally]

Ball golf.

I am wondering when footgolf is gonna make an appearance

 

[nirad3]

I wish I was good at handy man things. I have seen my brother completely remodel his basement, build a whole new porch that looked really good, etc. When it comes down to it, no matter how hard I try I just can't do it or if I do, it doesn't look good.

This

Another vote for handyman stuff. I could be a singing handyman.

 

[Courtjester]

Cooking--I really love to cook and I do 95% of it for my family. I think I am pretty good at it, but I wish I had like Gordon Ramsay type skills.

Like others have said, handyman repair stuff. I have a really impressive collection of Craftsman tools (some are still in the packaging), but when I try to fix stuff, my girls get their cameras out and my wife gets the first aid kit.

On a lesser degree, I would throw auto repair in this mix because I grew up with cars you could work on, but I get frustrated with newer vehicles that I need computers to diagnose and fix.

 

[grateful zed]

golf, chess and ski raciing.

 

[MAC_32]

another vote for golf

I'm like a 20 handicap and would love to be a 5

My index just hit 5 for the first time so I'll try to explain what you're missing.

Pros:
1. No truly bad rounds. I know in my last 60-70 rounds I've never shot 90 or worse and I'm honestly not remembering a score worse than 86 or 87. So, it's very comforting stepping on the first box and knowing that no matter how "badly" I may play, it may be frustrating but never embarrassing.
2. I can play with anybody except for maybe the pros at a very challenging course with Major conditions. This kind of ties in with point 1, but I now commonly often play with scratches/plus handicaps and what separates us over 18 holes is general the aggregation of their seemingly de minimis better proximity to the hole and total putts. In other words, their 72 is obviously better than my 78 or whatever at the end of the round, but it doesn't look at that different during the round. So, barring those incredibly challenging conditions where my flaws would be exacerbated, I can probably tee it up with like a John Rahm and not at least look or, more importantly, feel silly if I got paired with him. Don't get me wrong, he'd crush me and I think would be giving me almost a stroke per hole which is nuts, but my point is that I wouldn't significantly slow him down, annoy him, and we'd least appear to the novice neutral observer that it makes sense we're playing together. In short, to quote my plus-handicap playing partners, as a 5 I generally hit the ball where I want to.

Cons:
1. It's really, really hard to get better. Unless I quit my day job and focus on golf, I doubt I'll ever get a ton better because I just don't have the time to and, right now, my margin for error in getting better is really, really tight and probably requires significantly more practice (e.g. improving proximity to hole, three-putt avoidance, course and tee box management). Additionally, with turning 40 and my length inevitably plummeting here in the next few years/decade, I will need to work hard to improve make short game to make up for my lost length so I probably never improve just based on my regular play.
2. It's really, really hard to win tournaments now. I say this because where I had this wonderfully dangerous variance and volatility as a double-digit handicap and I could legitimately beat my handicap by several strokes on a good day, I now basically live in this 6ish or stroke window (76-82) that makes it really challenging for me to win a 100% handicapped net game. For example this past weekend I shot a 76 on the last day of a three-day tournament - which is me playing really well with very few mistakes and no disastrous errors - but still barely moving the overall needle in the net game as higher handicaps had a few putts go in that maybe normally wouldn't and shot multiple strokes better than their handicap whereas my very solid to really good day only beat my handicap by 1 stroke.

Tl;dr: Being a 5 handicap is fun because you can hold your own with anybody, but it's really, really hard to win tournaments and can feel monotonous over the course of time.

I appreciate this perspective. While I generally can't blow up at most local public courses I absolutely can and have on more challenging tracks. I'll never forget one weekend from a few years ago. I am a really good pitch, chip, and putter for someone that only plays 10x per year but because of my lack of volume other areas of my short game (sand, navigating trees, bad lies) are quite terrible. So when I tried to navigate a country club with my driver flying all over the yard and an inability to square up irons it led to a horrendous day somewhere north of 100 - golf rarely ruins my half day Friday's but it did that day. I was concerned that Sunday when I started off with a triple (easier course - tight tree lined fairways and a lot of water, but not much sand and some room by the green), but then I played the next 13 holes 2 under. Just when I thought I figured things out I miss hit all three shots on 15 then imploded on the 16th tee dumping 4 in a row in the water. Fun game, huh?

But then I have a day like I did last August when for that one magical round it all comes together. Even my timely miss hits still left me in playable position. After a bogey-bogey start I played the last 16 holes three under par - five birdies with two bogies - to break par on 18 for the first time in my life. Not an easy course either. There are scoring opportunities on most holes, but penalties await aggressive misfires. Not this day though. And for a 10 rounder a year like me that feeling I had as I walked up 18 - belting a 280 yard rope down the middle settling in just in front of a bunker and a steep grade up to the green. Just a 60 degree flop and 2 putt away from an under par round - my buddies cheering me on, the other 3 in my 4some, and the other 4 groups that already finished...I get it, you can't experience that. And that double digit handicapper like me ensures you can't ever win those tourneys because one of us is going to have one of those rounds in most of those competitions.

 

[DocHolliday]

Playing guitar. I should have focused on being a better player decades ago. Strumming and singing is fine but my lead work struggles.