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What to buy Ex Wife for her wedding (1 Viewer)

Bankerguy said:
How am I being a door mat?
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This wedding is a celebration of her banging another dude while she was married to you.

It's great to be forgiving and accepting of your wife, move on, and work together to raise your kids the best you can. All of that is good. But you don't have to celebrate her betraying you.

 
Seems like you have already made up your mind you are getting her something.  So, since you will not take our advice that we don't agree on whether or not getting a gift is appropriate maybe take this as advice.

Have your kids make something for their mom to commemorate the occasion.  Then, when she ####s around on the new guy they will be prepared to make her something the next time without you having to coordinate everything.

 
flranger said:
Seems like you have already made up your mind you are getting her something.  So, since you will not take our advice that we don't agree on whether or not getting a gift is appropriate maybe take this as advice.

Have your kids make something for their mom to commemorate the occasion.  Then, when she ####s around on the new guy they will be prepared to make her something the next time without you having to coordinate everything.
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No, I was just needing to talk to randoms and get different opinions. Thinking I will just ask my boys. 

 
Do they have at home STD tests?  You could get them a box of those and in the card let the groom know he might need these as she's prone to straying.  ;)

 
Call me a sentimental fool, but I think it's a great idea to consider how this event is a learning moment for your sons at an impressionable age.  I would go for a gift that is not too ostentatious but is still practical and would deliver the right dose of humor at a time when tensions could potentially be running high.  The best thing is, this gift can be had for less than $15.  You're welcome.  

 
If the boys are in a good relationship with their mother, then I would think about doing something. Doesn't have to be something huge $$$.

 
you probably already bought her a house...so maybe something nice, like a picture frame to hold her and picture of someone else to go on the wall you are still making payments on? 

 
Just to be clear, my answer has absolutely nothing to do with whether I think you would be acting like a "cuck" or something.  Let's just look at it as a simple Emily Post etiquette question.  Or, I guess, two questions.

1.  Is it customary for someone who is not invited to a wedding (as opposed to someone who has to decline an invitation) to give a wedding gift?  No, right?

2.  Is it customary for the minor children of the bride or groom to give a wedding gift?  Not in my experience.  Maybe some posters who have been remarried can weigh in, but that doesn't seem typical.

 
Nothing. Kids don't owe anyone a wedding gift either.

Even if you had said birthday, at best I'd drive the kids to the store to buy something for her from chore money they'd earn. At best.

 
Yeah, nobody expects her kids to get a gift, and if they were, the new step-dad should be the one to get it. Don't overthink this. Don't get them a gift. 

 
Show your sons poopsenders.com and explain that many other guys would send her a gift from there. Explain that because you are a good man and want them to be good men that you will refrain and keep it amicable.

Sometimes the best gift is no gift. Be that role model.

 
Bankerguy said:
Trying to be classy and show my young men how to behave in adversity. 
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Don't get her a gift FFS. Doing so will only confirm to your boys that you are a cuck. It's ok to teach your boys that when people hurt you you generally do not purchase them gifts.  

Congrats on the hot young thing. 

 
Bankerguy said:
She is about the $$$. She "upgraded" financially speaking. 
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So she's a gold digger to boot!  You should be thankful you left this whore harpy. Your 12 year old is having a difficult time because he knows what his mommy is. A home wrecking cheater!  

A lock that can only be opened by one key is called a good lock. A lock that can be and has been opened my many keys we call a whore!!  

Glad your happy now. 

 
So I got sideswiped last month and she fled the scene. By a crazy stroke of luck a traffic cam caught it, photographed her tag and she's in jail. From the case record I see her birthday is in 2 weeks and I was able to track down her Facebook, looks like she's into the nightclub scene, big Beyoncé fan and has a Boston terrier. My budget is $200; thoughts?

 
McGarnicle said:
So I got sideswiped last month and she fled the scene. By a crazy stroke of luck a traffic cam caught it, photographed her tag and she's in jail. From the case record I see her birthday is in 2 weeks and I was able to track down her Facebook, looks like she's into the nightclub scene, big Beyoncé fan and has a Boston terrier. My budget is $200; thoughts?
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:lmao:  You are the funniest guy on this board. 

No doubt. 

I'd love to see the terrier. 

 
fantasycurse42 said:
The sting of a hotter younger woman will never fade, I'd throw this in her face every chance I get.

Love to know the success rate of marriages born on affairs, I'd guess somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-20%.
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:thumbup:

 
A dildo molded in the shape of your (must be PG Must be PG) "special" parts. 

PS: if you thought the URL http://www.penismolding.com was still available, you are wrong.

ETA: might as well add a couple inches, You know, for effect and good memories.

 
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I think that the most special gift you could give her is to SWAT the wedding reception and have someone outside to film the action.

 
tri-man 47 said:
Like JaxBill says, ask the boys and let them have the final say.  It'd be a good life lesson for them to consider this.  If they want to extend a courtesy, then do so, but if they're hurting from all of this and don't like the idea, then of course drop it.  I can't really think of what an appropriate gift would be.  Maybe the best thing would be a nice, heartfelt card from the boys ...again, if they really do want to wish her well.  (My wife keeps lots of cards that the kids have given her.)
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Solid idea. Have a conversation with your sons. Be honest and open. Might be an important moment for all three of you. 

 
whiskey7 said:
Candlesticks always make a nice gift. Maybe you could find out where she's registered and get a place setting or a silverware pattern.
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There's a joke here, right? If so what am I missing?

 
Trying to follow here. I recall you idating like a decade ago (when I was tripping through it while still getting over the ex). I recall you doing very well with idating. Is the ex wife you're referring to one that you actually married and had the two kids with that you met while idating? 

Also, I gotta agree with those saying just send the boys and tell them to have fun. Honestly I think the gift idea is weird. If I were your ex's new husband I'd find it really strange. Not that you should care about his thoughts and feelings, but I can't see any social pressures here to send a gift so I can't see an upside to doing so. 

 
Christo said:
As long as you don't tell them your whore mother is getting ready to make another man miserable, I think you're doing okay.
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No kidding. 

I have a few ex girlfriends. Plenty amicable with them and no ill will. Still Facebook friends, etc. Never crossed my mind to send them anything congratulatory for their weddings, births, etc. I did send a sympathy text when one of their brothers took his own life unexpectedly, but that was about it. I'm sure if I ever happen to see them in public I'd say something nice about their kids but otherwise  I think there is zero social expectations here. Especially if it's an ex marrying the guy she cheated on you with. 

 
Zow said:
Trying to follow here. I recall you idating like a decade ago (when I was tripping through it while still getting over the ex). I recall you doing very well with idating. Is the ex wife you're referring to one that you actually married and had the two kids with that you met while idating? 

Also, I gotta agree with those saying just send the boys and tell them to have fun. Honestly I think the gift idea is weird. If I were your ex's new husband I'd find it really strange. Not that you should care about his thoughts and feelings, but I can't see any social pressures here to send a gift so I can't see an upside to doing so. 
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Yes, that i.dating spree was epic lol...and during our first Separation.  After 14 months, she asked for another chance and we tried it again. During our Round 2 we had our second son and stayed together about 5 or 6 years until the infidelity. At least she married the guy.  The after math was brutal. toughest time of my entire life. I was gutted.

The wedding is today. The boys of course are attending, I am not. Nor was I invited. After talking to the boys, no gifts or cards were purchased.  I encouraged them (especially my 12 year old) to make the best of this. The younger one is fine. He likes his step dad and that is great.. My oldest knows more about what went on and also doesn't especially like Step Dad.  I told him he just needs to do his best to get through it and not ruin the day for Mom.

Gotta admit today is weird. It's like the last day where I think I feel that twinge of old hurt.  Honestly though, so over it and happy it's about to be totally behind me.

New girl is wonderful.  She is 29, I am 43. Very happy and very much in love.

 
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