But that's the thing. When I was married (15 yrs ago), it was "our" money and me and her were on an equal plane of income, etc. That relationship just didn't work out...had nothing to do with money. We were just young and realized incompatible.
This last relationship we never got married basically because of her huge money issues. So, yes with that it was still "my" money because she literally hardly had any. I still used "my" money to give her and the kids anything they could ever want without questions or holding it over their head at all. I just wasn't about to sign over that money to someone who has proven to not be good with finances. I came up with a logical plan for her to quickly build up her credit with the premise that if it got to a reasonable point that we could be on equal footing then we'd consider marriage. But until then I acted and treated her and the kids just as a husband and father would. It just wasn't legally binding. And of course, she just didn't take the credit building seriously, didn't follow through with paperwork, forgot to use her credit card for gas, it's gonna take too long, etc, etc, excuse after excuse after excuse. If she wasn't going to take an issue I thought was important seriously then why should I take her issue with not being married seriously?
Believe it or not, I am a very good and loving partner. It may not be coming off like that at all in here (and I get that because I'm very strong with my opinions) but I am very selfless when it comes to relationships with someone I love. And that's probably part of the problem now...I'm dating a group of women that I just "like" and don't really see a future with so they are just entertainment for me (right or wrong). And yes, I'm very honest with all these women...they know I'm not in a place for a big serious thing. The ones that are not ok with that bail and the ones that are ok with that stick around. And you'd be surprised how many women of all ages actually just want casual and aren't interested in anything serious either (or at least that's what they are telling me).
If/when I find my girl I'll have no problems devoting myself to her. I just don't know at this age (46) if I'll ever truly be comfortable with getting married again. But, you never know I guess if I'm blinded by love again. : Mental note to myself to come back and read this thread thoroughly when that time comes :