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What's the upside of marriage for men? (1 Viewer)

I disagree.
I respect that you disagree.  But, do you not agree that married men and women can still cheat, steal, lie, abuse and walk out on the other at any time they want?   Just because they are more “legally” committed doesn’t automatically make them a more healthy couple than ones that decide marriage isn’t for them.  
 

(And so I don’t get berated…married couples can also be healthy, loving and supportive. Just as unmarried couples can be as well) 

 
I respect that you disagree.  But, do you not agree that married men and women can still cheat, steal, lie, abuse and walk out on the other at any time they want?   Just because they are more “legally” committed doesn’t automatically make them a more healthy couple than ones that decide marriage isn’t for them.  
 

(And so I don’t get berated…married couples can also be healthy, loving and supportive. Just as unmarried couples can be as well) 
Sure, but that’s not what you said.

“isn’t for them”. That’s the whole point - there’s no upside to marriage for offdee but there is for AAA.  Most people in here aren’t trying to convince you to get married - you obviously aren’t that good at it ;)  

 
Sure, but that’s not what you said.

“isn’t for them”. That’s the whole point - there’s no upside to marriage for offdee but there is for AAA.  Most people in here aren’t trying to convince you to get married - you obviously aren’t that good at it ;)  
Below is what you highlighted and said you disagree with.  What exactly about that statement do you disagree with? 

Getting legally married does not allow a couple to be any more healthy, committed or in love than a couple that decides to live a life together unmarried.

 
Below is what you highlighted and said you disagree with.  What exactly about that statement do you disagree with? 

Getting legally married does not allow a couple to be any more healthy, committed or in love than a couple that decides to live a life together unmarried.
I’ve already explained my position on this.  
 

Just because you think that doesn’t mean I do.  It’s possible for that to be true for you (and others) but to not be true for me (and others).  You realize people are different, right?

 
-fish- said:
I remember why I left this place. 

Sorry to interject.   Happy Easter, all.   Even you poor married suckers.


I think you made that about as difficult on yourself as you could have.

 
I’ve already explained my position on this.  
 

Just because you think that doesn’t mean I do.  It’s possible for that to be true for you (and others) but to not be true for me (and others).  You realize people are different, right?
Of course, I get that. But you disagreed with that statement, but then next post you agreed with the below statement. I’m trying to understand the difference in your eyes.  We’re both on extreme ends of the spectrum, no doubt, but there has to be a reasonable middle stance no?   Take your own personal marriage out of the mix…you truly believe the most loving and supportive unmarried relationship is less committed than the most unhealthy and toxic married relationship?  
 

But, do you not agree that married men and women can still cheat, steal, lie, abuse and walk out on the other at any time they want?   Just because they are more “legally” committed doesn’t automatically make them a more healthy couple than ones that decide marriage isn’t for them.  

 
Andy Dufresne said:
But not all guys are like you and not all women are like the ones you seem to surround yourself with.
Both parts of this are important. It's hard to imagine a woman worth marrying if you don't date people with whom you have long-term compatibility. A lot of guys (people) don't realize their "type" is a major part of their relationship failures.

 
Of course, I get that. But you disagreed with that statement, but then next post you agreed with the below statement. I’m trying to understand the difference in your eyes.  We’re both on extreme ends of the spectrum, no doubt, but there has to be a reasonable middle stance no?   Take your own personal marriage out of the mix…you truly believe the most loving and supportive unmarried relationship is less committed than the most unhealthy and toxic married relationship?
I never said anything close to that.  There’s not a whole lot more to be said - although I’m happy to keep discussing.  You came in with a premise/question and got several replies, which you are either choosing to ignore or just not understanding.

I’ll give you one example of why you and I aren’t alike.  You said “my” money and you didn’t want to risk it. From the day I got married I’ve never once thought about “my” money.  It’s “our” money.  If that’s the type of mentality you approached marriage with then you are probably not cut out for marriage or really any long-term serious relationship.  No offense intended.

 
You should also highlight how I purchased a nice house so we could all be together and I supported her and her three kids for 4 years. 
I think she wanted more permanence. You mentioned she wanted to be married. When you were clearly against it, I think she started to shop other options. Tough to be living in some one else’s house with three kids without a contractual commitment. 

 
offdee said:
Lol.    Some moron who is putting her body on a pedestal (albeit a very nice body) is agreeing to sign over half of his million dollar + worth to someone he's only known for 4 months.

She was always wanting us to get married and I just never agreed to it because her credit was so terrible from her ex-husband ruining it. Her ex stole her entire 401K to buy drugs.  She has 3 kids under the age of 16 on a hair dresser's salary with no child support from the ex husband/father of her kids, cuz he has no job and will never be able to hold one down. 

I work hard for my money and I wasn't about to put that at risk.  But, I also moved out of a downtown condo and bought us a 3,000 sq ft beautiful house in a nice area for all of us to live in together... and never asked her for anything.  All she was responsible for financially was groceries and any expenses that the kids had with school, etc.   All home improvements, bills, any nights out, trips, mortgages, clothes, shoes, etc that she ever wanted I covered without batting an eye or asking anything of her.    Apparently that wasn't enough for her though so on to the next sucker so she can survive and keep up with the lifestyle she's used to.
If her credit score was 800+, would you have married her?

 
offdee said:
So I push all my stack in that’s 100x greater (literally) than her stack and should just hope for the best given the reality and actual statistics showing marriage ends more often than not?  And for what…to live absolutely no differently than we were for those last 4 years? Seems incredibly naive and silly to me. 
 

But she found a guy in 4 months to push his 500x greater stack all in, so good on her I guess. I’m sure they’re soulmates and be happy for the long haul. 
Would you consider marrying someone with equal or greater financial resources?

 
But that's the thing.   When I was married (15 yrs ago), it was "our" money and me and her were on an equal plane of income, etc.   That relationship just didn't work out...had nothing to do with money.  We were just young and realized incompatible.

This last relationship we never got married basically because of her huge money issues.  So, yes with that it was still "my" money because she literally hardly had any.  I still used "my" money to give her and the kids anything they could ever want without questions or holding it over their head at all.   I just wasn't about to sign over that money to someone who has proven to not be good with finances.    I came up with a logical plan for her to quickly build up her credit with the premise that if it got to a reasonable point that we could be on equal footing then we'd consider marriage.  But until then I acted and treated her and the kids just as a husband and father would.  It just wasn't legally binding. And of course, she just didn't take the credit building seriously, didn't follow through with paperwork, forgot to use her credit card for gas, it's gonna take too long, etc, etc, excuse after excuse after excuse.  If she wasn't going to take an issue I thought was important seriously then why should I take her issue with not being married seriously?

Believe it or not, I am a very good and loving partner.  It may not be coming off like that at all in here (and I get that because I'm very strong with my opinions) but I am very selfless when it comes to relationships with someone I love.    And that's probably part of the problem now...I'm dating a group of women that I just "like" and don't really see a future with so they are just entertainment for me (right or wrong). And yes, I'm very honest with all these women...they know I'm not in a place for a big serious thing.  The ones that are not ok with that bail and the ones that are ok with that stick around.  And you'd be surprised how many women of all ages actually just want casual and aren't interested in anything serious either (or at least that's what they are telling me).

If/when I find my girl I'll have no problems devoting myself to her.  I just don't know at this age (46) if I'll ever truly be comfortable with getting married again.  But, you never know I guess if I'm blinded by love again.  : Mental note to myself to come back and read this thread thoroughly when that time comes :  ;)
I'm with @AAAABatterieshere. Even if she didn't earn the money through working your job, it's not productive to think of your assets separately in a committed relationship. Buying her "everything" on your terms and keeping tabs on who is paying for gas is not the same as truly sharing. 

It's kinda like going to a restaurant with a group of friends. Some people itemize their food and drink to split the bill precisely. Others divide the total by the number of people. Both methods are fine, of course. But with my closest friends, one of us just picks up the entire check, with no expectation the favor will be returned. The value of the relationship is such we aren't worried somebody isn't pulling their weight.

Interestingly, it seems like my wealthiest friends and acquaintances are usually the ones who focus the most on finances. Maybe that's a part of why they're wealthy, but worrying about money, even a lot of it, isn't a recipe for happiness.

A couple other questions:

1. Did you ask her what she wanted when you separated?

2. Why do you assume she'd take half your assets if you married, then divorced?

 
I'm with @AAAABatterieshere. Even if she didn't earn the money through working your job, it's not productive to think of your assets separately in a committed relationship. Buying her "everything" on your terms and keeping tabs on who is paying for gas is not the same as truly sharing. 

It's kinda like going to a restaurant with a group of friends. Some people itemize their food and drink to split the bill precisely. Others divide the total by the number of people. Both methods are fine, of course. But with my closest friends, one of us just picks up the entire check, with no expectation the favor will be returned. The value of the relationship is such we aren't worried somebody isn't pulling their weight.

Interestingly, it seems like my wealthiest friends and acquaintances are usually the ones who focus the most on finances. Maybe that's a part of why they're wealthy, but worrying about money, even a lot of it, isn't a recipe for happiness.

A couple other questions:

1. Did you ask her what she wanted when you separated?

2. Why do you assume she'd take half your assets if you married, then divorced?
Yes this woman is/was clearly trying to protect her children - the situation she was in left them vulnerable to the whims of offdee.

 
I’ll give you one example of why you and I aren’t alike.  You said “my” money and you didn’t want to risk it. From the day I got married I’ve never once thought about “my” money.  It’s “our” money.  If that’s the type of mentality you approached marriage with then you are probably not cut out for marriage or really any long-term serious relationship.  No offense intended.


Yup. To me, it boils down to "I don't trust you quite enough to put the cash at risk, and never will". Which I can 100% see and agree with for tons of people. But it's not the relationship a lot of people (men and women both) want. 

 
Even if she didn't earn the money through working your job, it's not productive to think of your assets separately in a committed relationship. Buying her "everything" on your terms and keeping tabs on who is paying for gas is not the same as truly sharing. 
lol at keeping tabs on paying for gas.   Wasn't like that at all....that comment was part of researching best way to help build her credit.   You get a new high interest rate credit card (because that's all she would be accepted for), use it to pay a smallish amount each month a percentage of your limit (we discussed just her using it for gas) and then paying it off in time.   It's a strategy to help build up credit easily. 

I didn't "control" any spending.  I just paid for everything that came in for the house (all bills in my name) and if we were ever out together and a bill came I just paid for it.  Simple as that.

 
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lol at keeping tabs on paying for gas.   Wasn't like that at all....that comment was part of researching best way to help build her credit.   You get a new high interest rate credit card (because that's all she would be accepted for), use it to pay a smallish amount each month a percentage of your limit (we discussed just her using it for gas) and then paying it off in time.   It's a strategy to help build up credit easily. 

I didn't "control" any spending.  I just paid for everything that came in for the house (all bills in my name) and if we were ever out together and a bill came I just paid for it.  Simple as that.


Heh, I don't think he quite meant it that way, even if that's what he typed. You always seemed like a good dude - I doubt you kept spreadsheets/etc. And the rebuild credit strategy is smart, of course.

But no matter how loose or generous you are with the wallet, there will always be a (mostly unsaid in the background) financial power dynamic at play. And it's probably uncomfortable for the lesser well-off partner, especially as more time goes by. They always know it could all blow up in an afternoon, with zero recourse. That's always hanging there, no matter how committed you say you were, or what you bought. 

To me, it's less "I want half his IRA" as it is "I'd like to be on equal footing in this relationship".

 
Sounds like you went into the relationship expecting it to fail and it did.  So good job, I guess, in not getting married but you set yourself up imo.

 
I can't believe this discussion is almost 10 pages. Isn't the obvious answer - "to each his own?"  We are all individuals with different needs and goals in life. No point in judging the decisions of others. 
Just meant to be a lively discussion.  I was curious to hear the success stories as well as the crash and burns of marriage.

As said a few times, I ended up in purgatory on the situation....could've been really burned but ended up lucky in my situations...all opened my eyes though. 

I'm sure it's a lot easier on here to proclaim your amazing marriage than to come in with your tail between your legs saying you definitely got burned.  (shout out to Fish!).  Or to truthfully say you're presently still in a crappy marriage and wish you could get out, but not able to for whatever reason.

 
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Heh, I don't think he quite meant it that way, even if that's what he typed. You always seemed like a good dude - I doubt you kept spreadsheets/etc. And the rebuild credit strategy is smart, of course.

But no matter how loose or generous you are with the wallet, there will always be a (mostly unsaid in the background) financial power dynamic at play. And it's probably uncomfortable for the lesser well-off partner, especially as more time goes by. They always know it could all blow up in an afternoon, with zero recourse. That's always hanging there, no matter how committed you say you were, or what you bought. 

To me, it's less "I want half his IRA" as it is "I'd like to be on equal footing in this relationship".
I can get on board with this, appreciate the insight.

I knew full well going from 10 yrs living solo in a 1,000 sq ft downtown condo to now living with 4 other people in a 3,000 sq ft house in the suburbs, with no parenting experience, was going to be a MAJOR life shift and adjustment challenge.   So maybe you're right...I didn't jump fully into it on the monetary side with a bit of me wondering if I could do it.  That was my personal way to keep some semblance of control I guess, while also feeling like I was being generous at the same time. Interesting.

So, let's look at it from the other perspective.....her perspective as someone with all the baggage and no money.   You think it's OK for her to get engaged 4 months after because some Millionaire promised to give her half of his money?    No care of how that looks/feels to her 3 young kids...just securing the bag to protect her financial future?   This is noble and smart of the guy to jump head first into the comittment?

The logical part of me says "good for you girl...I'm happy you and the kids will be taken care of". The other part of me is "damn, gold digger at its finest.  No way she moves that fast with a guy who didn't have that money.   I'm happier now, so not my problem, but really curious if deep down she truly is in love or if this was a scared move in hopes it works out, but if not, she's now rich.  

 
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So, let's look at it from the other perspective.....her perspective as someone with all the baggage and no money.   You think it's OK for her to get engaged 4 months after because some Millionaire promised to give her half of his money?    No care of how that looks/feels to her 3 young kids...just securing the bag to protect her financial future?

The logical part of me says "good for you girl...I'm happy you and the kids will be taken care of". The other part of me is "damn, gold digger at its finest.  No way she moves that fast with a guy who didn't have that money.   I'm happier now, so not my problem, but really curious if deep down she truly is in love or if this was a scared move in hopes it works out, but if not, she's now rich.  
Sounds like this really hurt you more than you care to admit. And maybe this is the purpose of this thread.

 
Sounds like this really hurt you more than you care to admit. And maybe this is the purpose of this thread.
Nah, not hurt...like I said, I'm happier now and wish her the best.  Guess more concerned for the kids emotional health through all of this.    Don't they say rule of thumb is to wait until 6 months after a new relationship to even introduce the kids to a new partner?    And in this case they are moving into a new house with him and his 2 kids after only 7 months.   Just seems unhealthy to me for the kids, but what do I know.

 
I can get on board with this, appreciate the insight.

I knew full well going from 10 yrs living solo in a 1,000 sq ft downtown condo to now living with 4 other people in a 3,000 sq ft house in the suburbs, with no parenting experience, was going to be a MAJOR life shift and adjustment challenge.   So maybe you're right...I didn't jump fully into it on the monetary side with a bit of me wondering if I could do it.  That was my personal way to keep some semblance of control I guess, while also feeling like I was being generous at the same time. Interesting.


No doubt you were justified in your feelings. Especially in the beginning. And I don't know her at all, but I would guess in the beginning she was quite happy about all of it (who wouldn't be?), but after a few years, maybe started thinking "I need more of that "us" feeling instead of always on the outside, no matter what he spends". 

So, let's look at it from the other perspective.....her perspective as someone with all the baggage and no money.   You think it's OK for her to get engaged 4 months after because some Millionaire promised to give her half of his money?    No care of how that looks/feels to her 3 young kids...just securing the bag to protect her financial future?   This is noble and smart of the guy to jump head first into the comittment?

The logical part of me says "good for you girl...I'm happy you and the kids will be taken care of". The other part of me is "damn, gold digger at its finest.  No way she moves that fast with a guy who didn't have that money.   I'm happier now, so not my problem, but really curious if deep down she truly is in love or if this was a scared move in hopes it works out, but if not, she's now rich.  


Yea, this I don't know. I got married in a month (and was hardly a lovestruck teen - I was 33, her 37). I've also left great jobs because I didn't like the boss or got bored or whatnot. So I have a history of throwing caution to the wind. I can definitely see where "it's only four months" is meaningless. 

That said, with three kids... unless she already knew him, I'd agree it's odd in that respect. Maybe you were 100% right to keep it all separate? Maybe something undefinable about her held you back? Totally valid. 

 
-fish- said:
"this is going to cost me a lot of money" is one of the worst reasons I can think of to stay in a relationship. 

if the only reason you're together is you can't afford to leave, you're just trapped in a bad contract  what a horrible existence.
It's not the only reason for getting married, but it's a really nice side benefit.  You can enjoy a significantly higher standard of living just by splitting household expenses and household duties with another person.  If you actually like that person, it's even better.  Great even.

That said, this is getting to be a weird thread.  People are asking what the social value is in an institution that has existed since the dawn of human civilization.  It's an institution that extremely well-studied and extremely well-understood.  It's been "invented" by every little sub-culture that has come along.  By all means, if you don't want to get married, don't get married.  But does a 50 year old person really need to have the economic utility of marriage explained to them?  I get not understanding that when you're 16 and just thinking about living on love for the rest of your life, but adults should have no problem following along.

 
I can get on board with this, appreciate the insight.

I knew full well going from 10 yrs living solo in a 1,000 sq ft downtown condo to now living with 4 other people in a 3,000 sq ft house in the suburbs, with no parenting experience, was going to be a MAJOR life shift and adjustment challenge.   So maybe you're right...I didn't jump fully into it on the monetary side with a bit of me wondering if I could do it.  That was my personal way to keep some semblance of control I guess, while also feeling like I was being generous at the same time. Interesting.

So, let's look at it from the other perspective.....her perspective as someone with all the baggage and no money.   You think it's OK for her to get engaged 4 months after because some Millionaire promised to give her half of his money?    No care of how that looks/feels to her 3 young kids...just securing the bag to protect her financial future?   This is noble and smart of the guy to jump head first into the comittment?

The logical part of me says "good for you girl...I'm happy you and the kids will be taken care of". The other part of me is "damn, gold digger at its finest.  No way she moves that fast with a guy who didn't have that money.   I'm happier now, so not my problem, but really curious if deep down she truly is in love or if this was a scared move in hopes it works out, but if not, she's now rich.  
Based on the profile you’ve provided of her, I’m shocked — truly shocked !! — that she quickly jumped into a permanent relationship with a rich guy who is supporting her now.

 
It's not the only reason for getting married, but it's a really nice side benefit.  You can enjoy a significantly higher standard of living just by splitting household expenses and household duties with another person.  If you actually like that person, it's even better.  Great even.

That said, this is getting to be a weird thread.  People are asking what the social value is in an institution that has existed since the dawn of human civilization.  It's an institution that extremely well-studied and extremely well-understood.  It's been "invented" by every little sub-culture that has come along.  By all means, if you don't want to get married, don't get married.  But does a 50 year old person really need to have the economic utility of marriage explained to them?  I get not understanding that when you're 16 and just thinking about living on love for the rest of your life, but adults should have no problem following along.
I just wanted use of the dragons ......

 
Like...why?

And this is coming from someone who's been married (late 20's) and divorced (early 30's).   7 yr relationship living with a woman and her 3 kids (late 30's - early 40's), but smart enough not to get married.   Now single (mid 40's) and just enjoying life to the fullest with disposal income, all the personal time I'd ever want, and dating multiple younger women to keep me company/entertained whenever I want that.

It's so clear to me that marriage is just an archaic and terrible idea for men to ultimately be happy and satisfied with life.

I know this topic will probably upset many and we'll get the outlier stories of "wife is my best friend", "the kids make it worth it", etc. etc.  But I also know for a fact there is more of a majority that wish they never got married and want out but are miserable and stuck and just letting life play itself out.  That sucks.


I have not read any responses but I would be shocked if you're right about the majority wishing they never got married.  My wife is ####### awesome and after 18 years together (14 married), I can't imagine not being married to her.

 
Nah, not hurt...like I said, I'm happier now and wish her the best.  Guess more concerned for the kids emotional health through all of this.    Don't they say rule of thumb is to wait until 6 months after a new relationship to even introduce the kids to a new partner?    And in this case they are moving into a new house with him and his 2 kids after only 7 months.   Just seems unhealthy to me for the kids, but what do I know.
This is to your point though. Whole lot easier when your not married for some kid to call you Dad and then you’re out of their life. One of the reasons for marriage. Understand the divorce angle, but at least it’s a firm commitment that takes more to break. 

 
But does a 50 year old person really need to have the economic utility of marriage explained to them?  I get not understanding that when you're 16 and just thinking about living on love for the rest of your life, but adults should have no problem following along.
Yep. There's a longevity benefit and an economic benefit to marriage, unless you're that person who the law works against in a divorce proceeding, which gave birth to the MRA movement, which went all sorts of uncouth and untoward places. 

But for the majority of people, marriage is a net economic benefit, and that's part of why it is treated by Anglo jurisprudence as a contract. 

 
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I am 100% against marriage.  And I'm married, here is why.

I hate a lot of traditions, like wrapping electrical cords around a dead pine tree for Christmas.  Like a lot of marriages you are just begging for a house fire.  I don't like that the government gets involved in your personal business.  I've had bad relationships with women.  And why would I want to give the ability to a woman to take half of my stuff.

But, I lived with my current wife for almost 20 years before we got married, because I don't believe in marriage.  After a certain amount of time you start to realize that you are going to be together forever, and if not, she's done enough for me that she deserves half of our stuff.  And honestly, I wouldn't need half the stuff if it weren't for her. Yeah you get some tax advantages, but the really big thing for me as I get older is if something happens to me I want her to be taken care of.  As I get older I want her to get my social security, not the government.

 
Been married 18 years today. She's my best friend, we still have amazing sex 3 times a week, and we have a wonderful son. We rarely argue. She never gives me a hard time about any of the #### i wanna do and vice versa. Dont get me wrong it took years to get to this point but were very happy now. We make a great team. Can't imagine being single.

 
It's cool having this thread right next to the Disney one. I like to go in there sometimes, and try and translate some of the phrases in there. Without kids, it's truly an alien language in there. 

 
-fish- said:
Government should just get out of the marriage business entirely.   Any two people can file taxes together. and share insurance.

That effectively eliminates all benefits of formal marriage.   You want to get married for your church or family, knock yourself out.
Your wife get's one half of your social security while you're alive and 100% if you die.  

 
lol at keeping tabs on paying for gas.   Wasn't like that at all....that comment was part of researching best way to help build her credit.   You get a new high interest rate credit card (because that's all she would be accepted for), use it to pay a smallish amount each month a percentage of your limit (we discussed just her using it for gas) and then paying it off in time.   It's a strategy to help build up credit easily. 

I didn't "control" any spending.  I just paid for everything that came in for the house (all bills in my name) and if we were ever out together and a bill came I just paid for it.  Simple as that.
@jwbexplained it better.

As one who never really paid much attention to scores, why were you worried about her bad credit? It’s not like you guys would change the financial arrangements much after being married (ie., you’d still pay for nearly everything) and marriage in and of itself doesn’t impact an individual’s score. Were you planning on taking a bunch of joint loans?

ETA I see you didn’t answer my other questions. I just wanted to point out that amicable, financially non-ruinous divorces are possible - you said you experienced one yourself (me too). Maybe seek out future partners where you believe this possibility is less likely?

 
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I can't believe this discussion is almost 10 pages. Isn't the obvious answer - "to each his own?"  We are all individuals with different needs and goals in life. No point in judging the decisions of others. 
If you want more nuanced, cerebral discussion, there’s a 45-page psf thread on the “Let’s Go Brandon” phenomenon.  :grad:

 
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Just meant to be a lively discussion.  I was curious to hear the success stories as well as the crash and burns of marriage.

As said a few times, I ended up in purgatory on the situation....could've been really burned but ended up lucky in my situations...all opened my eyes though. 

I'm sure it's a lot easier on here to proclaim your amazing marriage than to come in with your tail between your legs saying you definitely got burned.  (shout out to Fish!).  Or to truthfully say you're presently still in a crappy marriage and wish you could get out, but not able to for whatever reason.
You’re right that it’s hard to admit failure, but I wonder how prevalent nasty, lose 50%+ of one’s assets divorces really are.

Like you, my divorce was lawyerless and amicable. And my bitter divorcee friends didn’t lose half their sh!t either.

ETA I do have one unhappily married friend who uses the expression “cheaper to keep her”. I think his stance is ridiculous, fwiw.

 
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19 years this month.

Highs and lows, laughter and tears, fights and foxholes, no kids through two teens....

I mean I don't know what to argue for or against here other than to just say I wouldn't be who I am or have the life I do (pretty damn good) without my family.  Wife has had career opportunities through me, I have had business opportunities through her... financially I have no regrets and if we ever divorced I'd still be fine $ wise.

I know the single friends have grown apart from us married friends.. which sucks, but I get it.

Maybe I would stay in better shape if I was single, but the dating game looks exhausting and stressful itself.

 

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