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What's the upside of marriage for men? (1 Viewer)

Andy Dufresne

Footballguy
She decided to officially end things, not me.  We did really work on our relationship for a couple years knowing the importance of it for the kids and just how we couldn't grapple with the idea of ending things even though we had great chemistry.   She ultimately used "living in offdee's house" was uncomfortable for her and never felt financially secure, even though I never once held any of that over her head and provided her whatever she wanted in life. 

4 months after our split she was engaged to a Millionaire who bought a McMansion in the suburbs and put her name on it.   She's a drop dead gorgeous woman who can have any guys she wants.  Interesting hey?
I think these things conflict with each other.

 

jwb

Footballguy
"this is going to cost me a lot of money" is one of the worst reasons I can think of to stay in a relationship. 

if the only reason you're together is you can't afford to leave, you're just trapped in a bad contract  what a horrible existence.


To me, the I love you hon and sure I am committed,  but there will always be a clear monetary division between 'mine' and 'yours' is not how I (and a ton of people apparently) want to do a committed relationship.  Because, to me, it's not all that committed then. 

 

Andy Dufresne

Footballguy
I don't know why this is hard to believe.  I went through the hell that is marriage once, lost nearly a million dollars, and will never do it again.

That doesn't mean I can't have a monogamous relationship (I've been in one for the last 5 years).   It just means I'll never be stupid enough to get married again.  It's an outdated governmental institution that has nothing to do with an actual relationship.
In general, it's not.

Concerning a guy that has gone out of his way to start a thread like this, discount all refutations, and brag about how much better it is to play the field - it is.

 

-fish-

Footballguy
To me, the I love you hon and sure I am committed,  but there will always be a clear monetary division between 'mine' and 'yours' is not how I (and a ton of people apparently) want to do a committed relationship.  Because, to me, it's not all that committed then. 
Totally cool.   My relationships aren't based on possessions.   But you do you.   

 

Andy Dufresne

Footballguy
Not really.   You can offer someone whatever they want.   If they choose something else, even if it's lesser, that's on them.
In this case, it didn't sound like "something else". It sounded like "something more". Even if that more seemingly materialistic and shallow.

Which gets us back to the idea of attracting a certain type.

 

-fish-

Footballguy
In general, it's not.

Concerning a guy that has gone out of his way to start a thread like this, discount all refutations, and brag about how much better it is to play the field - it is.
Marriage, from it's outset, is a contractual relationship that was an exchange of goods/land/money for a woman,  because she had no other intrinsic value other than helping men carry on their bloodline.

It continues to be a contractual relationship.   It's governmental.   I personally don't need a piece of paper or a governmental blessing to be in a monogamous relationship.   Again, if you need the blessing of your church, your family or the government, knock yourself out.   I think it's unnecessary.

 

-fish-

Footballguy
Luckily, my significant other is like-minded.   We can share finances, live together (or not), buy a house (or not), enter into contracts under our own terms, and spend our time together without outside administration.   Other than filing taxes jointly, there is zero benefit to us getting married.   

 

-fish-

Footballguy
That's a serious reach, and adds prettymuch zero to the thread. But you do you. 
He literally said he thinks that relationships shouldn't have a division of monetary funds.   That's not a reach at all.   His dividing line was possessions.

 

offdee

Footballguy
Four months after severing ties with you she "committed" to someone who have her more.
Lol.    Some moron who is putting her body on a pedestal (albeit a very nice body) is agreeing to sign over half of his million dollar + worth to someone he's only known for 4 months.

She was always wanting us to get married and I just never agreed to it because her credit was so terrible from her ex-husband ruining it. Her ex stole her entire 401K to buy drugs.  She has 3 kids under the age of 16 on a hair dresser's salary with no child support from the ex husband/father of her kids, cuz he has no job and will never be able to hold one down. 

I work hard for my money and I wasn't about to put that at risk.  But, I also moved out of a downtown condo and bought us a 3,000 sq ft beautiful house in a nice area for all of us to live in together... and never asked her for anything.  All she was responsible for financially was groceries and any expenses that the kids had with school, etc.   All home improvements, bills, any nights out, trips, mortgages, clothes, shoes, etc that she ever wanted I covered without batting an eye or asking anything of her.    Apparently that wasn't enough for her though so on to the next sucker so she can survive and keep up with the lifestyle she's used to.

 

jwb

Footballguy
He literally said he thinks that relationships shouldn't have a division of monetary funds.   That's not a reach at all.   His dividing line was possessions.


Be cooler, guy. 

 
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Andy Dufresne

Footballguy
Lol.    Some moron who is putting her body on a pedestal (albeit a very nice body) is agreeing to sign over half of his million dollar + worth to someone he's only known for 4 months.

She was always wanting us to get married and I just never agreed to it because her credit was so terrible from her ex-husband ruining it. Her ex stole her entire 401K to buy drugs.  She has 3 kids under the age of 16 on a hair dresser's salary with no child support from the ex husband/father of her kids, cuz he has no job and will never be able to hold one down. 

I work hard for my money and I wasn't about to put that at risk.  But, I also moved out of a downtown condo and bought us a 3,000 sq ft beautiful house in a nice area for all of us to live in together... and never asked her for anything.  All she was responsible for financially was groceries and any expenses that the kids had with school, etc.   All home improvements, bills, any nights out, trips, mortgages, clothes, shoes, etc that she ever wanted I covered without batting an eye or asking anything of her.    Apparently that wasn't enough for her though so on to the next sucker so she can survive and keep up with the lifestyle she's used to.
And what were you getting out of the relationship? And was it what you were hoping for?

 

offdee

Footballguy
And what were you getting out of the relationship? And was it what you were hoping for?
I loved her and loved the kids.  We had a lot of good memories together.  The ex and I had great one on one chemistry.  Quarantine exposed some differences in how we like to live and make life decisions and we just couldn’t recover from that period. 

 

BeTheMatch

Let it burn!
I don't know why this is hard to believe.  I went through the hell that is marriage once, lost nearly a million dollars, and will never do it again.

That doesn't mean I can't have a monogamous relationship (I've been in one for the last 5 years).   It just means I'll never be stupid enough to get married again.  It's an outdated governmental institution that has nothing to do with an actual relationship.
Prenups illegal where you live or something?

 

offdee

Footballguy
Prenups illegal where you live or something?
I think he’s saying he’s learned from his naivety and it opened his eyes to not risk that again unnecessarily. And a prenup goes against most of the emotional reasoning for marriage in this thread….commitment, trust, equal partnership, etc.  Not to mention women LOVE to have the prenup conversation during the romance of engagement.  Really brings you closer together. 

 
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-fish-

Footballguy
Prenups illegal where you live or something?
Don't need a prenup when you don't get married.   Why would I enter into a contract to get out of a contract?

Seems silly.  Just have a relationship with someone that doesn't require a piece of paper to justify your relationship.  If I need the tax break I'll start a limited liability company with her.

 

-fish-

Footballguy
I think he’s saying he’s learned from his naivety and it opened his eyes to not risk that again unnecessarily. And a prenup goes against most of the emotional reasoning for marriage in this thread….commitment, trust, etc. 
Slightly more than that.   A prenup is just a contract that lays out what happens when you want to breach your marriage contract.   I don't want or need to enter into a contractual relationship.  I'd rather have an emotional one.   

Marriage is an outdated governmental relationship based on owning women's property.   Unless you're getting a dowery, there's really no purpose in it unless it's religious or your family demands it.   My family doesn't care, and I'm not a believer.

 

BeTheMatch

Let it burn!
Don't need a prenup when you don't get married.   Why would I enter into a contract to get out of a contract?

Seems silly.  Just have a relationship with someone that doesn't require a piece of paper to justify your relationship.  If I need the tax break I'll start a limited liability company with her.
It seems silly to me to refuse to enter into a "contract" because you're afraid it will fail or cost you money. If you think that, I agree you definitely shouldn't get married. But again, I think that's a reflection of you and your relationship, not the idea of marriage itself.

I didn't require a piece of paper to justify my relationship. Neither did my wife. We did it to demonstrate the ultimate commitment to one another. Does that mean we couldn't get divorced? No. Not at all. I don't view it as some unbreakable vow no matter what.

But I think you're deluding yourself if you think there's no difference between getting married and being in a monogamous long-term relationship without being married. Should it be that way? That's a separate conversation. But this is the real world. And it is different.

If that's not what either of you want, great. But I don't think it's unreasonable for a man or a woman to want to get married at some point in a relationship. If you don't want that and would rather just end the relationship at that point, great. Do that. I don't care. I have no pro-marriage drum to bang. I'm not trying to talk anyone into anything.

It just seems funny and sad at the same time that a divorced guy who appears to me to not respect women at all started a thread to convince himself that he's the smart one and anyone who disagrees with his opinion is some type of lemming that can't possibly be happy.

 
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jwb

Footballguy
She was always wanting us to get married and I just never agreed to it because her credit was so terrible from her ex-husband ruining it. Her ex stole her entire 401K to buy drugs.  She has 3 kids under the age of 16 on a hair dresser's salary with no child support from the ex husband/father of her kids, cuz he has no job and will never be able to hold one down. 

I work hard for my money and I wasn't about to put that at risk.  
I work hard for mine too. But I pushed all my chips to the center (for the second time) and so did she (and she had as much, if not more, than I did.) 

You didn’t push your chips in. You held them back, and were adamant about that. Which is totally fine. But you keep insisting your hand is the same, just without pushing them in (the piece of paper). It’s not the same. You are holding back. You cannot possibly say you’re all in when you actually aren’t.

Can you see the commitment difference now? Mind you I’m not saying mine is better, or that there’s any guarantee with it. But it’s different.

 

offdee

Footballguy
I work hard for mine too. But I pushed all my chips to the center (for the second time) and so did she (and she had as much, if not more, than I did.) 

You didn’t push your chips in. You held them back, and were adamant about that. Which is totally fine. But you keep insisting your hand is the same, just without pushing them in (the piece of paper). It’s not the same. You are holding back. You cannot possibly say you’re all in when you actually aren’t.

Can you see the commitment difference now? Mind you I’m not saying mine is better, or that there’s any guarantee with it. But it’s different.
So I push all my stack in that’s 100x greater (literally) than her stack and should just hope for the best given the reality and actual statistics showing marriage ends more often than not?  And for what…to live absolutely no differently than we were for those last 4 years? Seems incredibly naive and silly to me. 
 

But she found a guy in 4 months to push his 500x greater stack all in, so good on her I guess. I’m sure they’re soulmates and be happy for the long haul. 

 
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Alex P Keaton

Footballguy
It seems silly to me to refuse to enter into a "contract" because you're afraid it will fail or cost you money. 
Contracts are silly.  Cool.  I’m going to suggest tomorrow that company stop worrying about written contracts.  We’ll just go back to the era of handshake deals.

 

ChiefD

Footballguy
So I push all my stack in that’s 100x greater (literally) than her stack and should just hope for the best given the reality and actual statistics showing marriage ends more often than not?  And for what…to live absolutely no differently than we were for those last 4 years? Seems incredibly naive and silly to me. 
So did you ever intend to marry that girl? Because from the outside looking in, a guy that buys a house for her and supports her and her kids and allows those kids to develop a relationship with a father figure type guy sure acts like a husband and father. 
 

And in the end just acts like a child when push comes to shove. As you know marriage is a commitment on both sides. Emotionally, legally, financially….

But at the end of the day, it really boils down to money, right? If all you are worried about is losing what’s rightfully earned by you, then don’t get married.  Sounds like it’s worked out great for you.

 

offdee

Footballguy
So did you ever intend to marry that girl? Because from the outside looking in, a guy that buys a house for her and supports her and her kids and allows those kids to develop a relationship with a father figure type guy sure acts like a husband and father. 
 

And in the end just acts like a child when push comes to shove. As you know marriage is a commitment on both sides. Emotionally, legally, financially….

But at the end of the day, it really boils down to money, right? If all you are worried about is losing what’s rightfully earned by you, then don’t get married.  Sounds like it’s worked out great for you.
I definitely considered myself a good husband and good father.  I don’t need a piece of paper to make that official for me.  My actions as a partner and father figure should be more important.  And exactly the point I’m trying to make with this thread. 

And how did I act like a child when push came to shove again?  Did you read the post of what happened?

When SHE wanted things to be over, I sold the house IN MY NAME ONLY for a healthy profit and gave her half of the profits even though I had zero liability to do that. It was always “our” house in my mind and I honored that because I wanted what was best for her and the kids. 

 
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BeTheMatch

Let it burn!
Of course it wasn’t.  But…..you really can’t see how protecting your assets via a marriage contract would be a smart decision if you have a massive mismatch in assets?  C’mon.  Give me a break.
I'm the one who suggested a prenup. I'm not arguing with you on that one.

 

jwb

Footballguy
So I push all my stack in that’s 100x greater (literally) than her stack and should just hope for the best given the reality and actual statistics showing marriage ends more often than not?  And for what…to live absolutely no differently than we were for those last 4 years? Seems incredibly naive and silly to me. 
 

But she found a guy in 4 months to push his 500x greater stack all in, so good on her I guess. I’m sure they’re soulmates and be happy for the long haul. 


I wouldn't put too much stock into the 4 months thing. What, did you expect her to sit on a block of ice for a predetermined amount of time? I married my wife after knowing her less than a month. It happens.

You said: So I push all my stack in that’s 100x greater (literally) than her stack and should just hope for the best

Yup.

 

offdee

Footballguy
I wouldn't put too much stock into the 4 months thing. What, did you expect her to sit on a block of ice for a predetermined amount of time? I married my wife after knowing her less than a month. It happens.

You said: So I push all my stack in that’s 100x greater (literally) than her stack and should just hope for the best

Yup.
Ok then. Agree to disagree. 
 

There’s absolutely no way in hell that she moves that fast with this guy if she didn’t see a quick payday. She has 3 kids all under age 16. He has 2 kids both under the age 10.  You think to get engaged to a new guy 4 months after an emotional break of 7 yrs, and move the kids into a new house with 2 other kids (now 5 kids total under one roof) 7 months after that breakup is healthy for them?   Give me a break.  

 
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Caveman33

Footballguy
Ok then. Agree to disagree. 
 

There’s absolutely no way in hell that she moves that fast with this guy if she didn’t see a quick payday. She has 3 kids all under age 16. He has 2 kids both under the age 10.  You think to get engaged to a new guy 4 months after an emotional break of 7 yrs, and move the kids into a new house with 2 other kids (now 5 kids total under one roof) 7 months after that breakup is healthy for them?   Give me a break.  
She could certainly move that fast, especially if she already knew the guy before you two broke up.  A lot of guys in this thread have stated that they are happily married, and I have no reason to disbelieve them.  But I'm guessing that they didn't shack up with a hairdresser who previously birthed a litter with a druggie deadbeat.  Are you saying that you sold your house and gave her half the proceeds before she moved into the McMansion?  Sounds like you got played, playa.

 

offdee

Footballguy
She could certainly move that fast, especially if she already knew the guy before you two broke up.  A lot of guys in this thread have stated that they are happily married, and I have no reason to disbelieve them.  But I'm guessing that they didn't shack up with a hairdresser who previously birthed a litter with a druggie deadbeat.  Are you saying that you sold your house and gave her half the proceeds before she moved into the McMansion?  Sounds like you got played, playa.
I did the right thing based on our relationship and what the house symbolized for us.  It was always “ours” in my mind so giving her half was the right thing to do…especially knowing that her half was survival for her and my half didn’t make any difference in the big scheme for me…just more in my savings. 
 

And nobody got played because I never agreed to get married which is what she wanted. Again…kinda the point of this thread.   Giving her half the house money was my choice out of good faith and honoring my word.  Nobody forced me to do anything. Legally married and I’d also be out half my savings and 401K (much much more than house profit) and all lawyer fees because she could whip out a piece of paper. That would be getting played. 

 
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Caveman33

Footballguy
I did the right thing based on our relationship and what the house symbolized for us.  It was always “ours” in my mind so giving her half was the right thing to do…especially knowing that her half was survival for her and my half didn’t make any difference in the big scheme for me…just more in my savings. 
 

And nobody got played because I never agreed to get married which is what she wanted. Again…kinda the point of this thread.   Giving her half the house money was my choice out of good faith and honoring my word.   Legally married and I’d also be out half my savings and 401K and all lawyer fees because she could whip out a piece of paper. That would be getting played. 
You did do a nice thing, but you're failing to recognize that not all women are after men for their money. The problem might be what type of women you are attracted to and those that you are attracting.  So marriage may not be ideal for you, but it works for a lot of other couples, even if that number is less than half. 

Marriage was a good thing for my parents.  There were occasional disagreements but I never saw them fight. My mom also never wore any make-up, she was better looking than most women without it.  Marriage would not be a good thing for me.  Even relationships do not interest me.  Everyone has to do what is right for them.

 

offdee

Footballguy
So marriage may not be ideal for you, but it works for a lot of other couples, even if that number is less than half. 
Nothing I disagree with here.

But again, that’s kind of the point of the thread. It’s great if it works for some, but as you said, the facts show that success rate is less than half. And that’s just the half where it’s so bad they are willing to make the effort/cost to divorce.    Of those remaining still married half, how many of those are miserable but just don’t have the effort or means in them to go through the ugly divorce process? Nobody truly knows that answer but earlier someone guessed probably another 20-25% of those married are unhappy.  So guesstimating…close to 70% once happy married couples end up divorced or are just unhappy. 

Nobody goes into a wedding day unhappy or ever thinking it won’t be for forever. Everyone believes they are with their soulmate in that moment, otherwise why would they be taking that official step?   But numbers prove that changes for many. 

And the reality is, all those married couples don’t get any major advantages in life versus couples just living together not married.   The idea of marriage is a romantic idea, I get it, but is it really worth the risk knowing the facts of divorce/trapped in unhappiness is more likely than not? 

 
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Nugget

Footballguy
Nothing I disagree with here.

But again, that’s kind of the point of the thread. It’s great if it works for some, but as you said, the facts show that success rate is less than half. And that’s just the half where it’s so bad they are willing to make the effort/cost to divorce.    Of those remaining still married half, how many of those are miserable but just don’t have the effort or means in them to go through the ugly divorce process? Nobody truly knows that answer but earlier someone guessed probably another 20-25% of those married are unhappy.  So guesstimating…close to 70% once happy married couples end up divorced or are just unhappy. 

Nobody goes into a wedding day unhappy or ever thinking it won’t be for forever. Everyone believes they are with their soulmate in that moment, otherwise why would they be taking that official step?   But numbers prove that changes for many. 

And the reality is, all those married couples don’t get any major advantages in life versus couples just living together not married.   The idea of marriage is a romantic idea, I get it, but is it really worth the risk knowing the facts of divorce/trapped in unhappiness is more likely than not? 
Do you think if you had married her, you would still be together? Is that beneficial?

 

BeTheMatch

Let it burn!
I read something yesterday that rang so true...women will love you unconditionally until they make you undesirable to them. It's not their fault, that's just who they are.


Out of all the horrible, revolting things posted on this forum - especially among those comments that haven't been taken down - this really does have to be near the top of the list.

Believe me, I'm not arguing to have it taken down or have you suspended. Not in the slightest. I'm just surprised given how heavy handed the moderation can be at times that this escaped the filter.

I actually think it's good for people to reveal their character like this, so everyone can see who they really are and judge for themselves.

The misogyny here is revolting. I can just picture you patting all the women of the world on the head and mansplaining to them how it's not their fault how horrible they all are, that they're just not as good/smart/strong/whatever as men.

It's disturbing enough to me that you think this way, but even more so that you feel comfortable enough with this garbage to post it in on a forum. I'm curious as to whether you'd be willing to post this stuff online under your real name and face the justifiable real-life consequences of your caveman mentality.

That some people agree with you is disgusting and that more people aren't calling you out for it is disappointing.

It would be a valid debate to discuss the merits of marriage in today's society. But that's not what you're doing. You have and continue to bash all women because of your limited experience with some women. Your question is not whether marriage is a good thing. Your question is whether it's a good thing for men. You've differentiated between the two, and I'm not sure why, especially given the far more equal roles men and women play in today's workforce and households.

Your argument is far more archaic and outdated than the institution of marriage.

And you keep citing the failure rate of marriages as some sort of proof that you're right. While the numbers you cite may be statistically accurate, so what? There are a lot of stupid people in the world making really stupid decisions. So we should base our decisions in life on what these morons do?

There are millions and millions of people who have gotten married for horrible reasons or without any careful consideration. Everyone in their lives probably knew they were doomed from the start. So that means marriage is bad? I don't think so. I think it means those two people shouldn't have married each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

No one made you marry the woman you did. I don't know anything about your relationship with her. But that was your decision. Not hers alone. And certainly not anyone else's. But instead of just owning your actions, you want to blame half the population on earth "because that's just who they are." You're trying to make yourself feel better about the poor choices you've made in life. And you've come to this forum seeking validation.

Maybe you'll get it from some people. But I'm not one of those people. I think it's sickening.

 

offdee

Footballguy
Do you think if you had married her, you would still be together? Is that beneficial?
I don’t think it would have mattered.  Quarantine really did a number on us and just our compatability with how we live and make important life decisions became very magnified.   If we would still be together then we’d be one of the “married but unhappy” demographics just trying to get through the days. 
 

I’m a much happier and fulfilled man with where I’m at in life now. I don’t regret any of it…learned a lot, have good memories, know that I’m a good father figure, etc. But I enjoy my life better now. 

 

the rover

Footballguy
It seems silly to me to refuse to enter into a "contract" because you're afraid it will fail or cost you money. If you think that, I agree you definitely shouldn't get married. But again, I think that's a reflection of you and your relationship, not the idea of marriage itself.

I didn't require a piece of paper to justify my relationship. Neither did my wife. We did it to demonstrate the ultimate commitment to one another. Does that mean we couldn't get divorced? No. Not at all. I don't view it as some unbreakable vow no matter what.

But I think you're deluding yourself if you think there's no difference between getting married and being in a monogamous long-term relationship without being married. Should it be that way? That's a separate conversation. But this is the real world. And it is different.

If that's not what either of you want, great. But I don't think it's unreasonable for a man or a woman to want to get married at some point in a relationship. If you don't want that and would rather just end the relationship at that point, great. Do that. I don't care. I have no pro-marriage drum to bang. I'm not trying to talk anyone into anything.

It just seems funny and sad at the same time that a divorced guy who appears to me to not respect women at all started a thread to convince himself that he's the smart one and anyone who disagrees with his opinion is some type of lemming that can't possibly be happy.
other than the tax benefit what is the difference?  are you unable to stay in a relationship without a piece of paper or. a ceremony? 

 

offdee

Footballguy
no one made you marry the woman you did. I don't know anything about your relationship with her. But that was your decision. Not hers alone. And certainly not anyone else's. But instead of just owning your actions, you want to blame half the population on earth "because that's just who they are." You're trying to make yourself feel better about the poor choices you've made in life. And you've come to this forum seeking validation.
I have owned my actions and not blaming any woman for anything.    My life is good and I never made any poor relationship choices that got me really burned.    I'll copy and paste again my history (below, for the 3rd time).   Based on my history I can guarantee you to a tee that all of my exes would not have bad things to say about me and my character...usually ends on a decent note and with respect (much like my recent posting with my ex of 7yrs who I treated very fairly given the situation)

---

I have pretty good/friendly relationships with all of my long term ex's.  I'm Facebook friends with my ex-wife and we still wish each other a Happy BDay (we divorced over 15 yrs ago).  The divorce was lawyer free and amicable split of stuff....so was very lucky there.

And my last relationship of 7yrs, with kids involved, we never married...and I'm realizing now that it's over how lucky I am to not have taken that step of getting married.  I was the breadwinner and provided everything for her and the 3 kids financially.    I wouldn't be nearly as well off financially now if I caved to her wanting to get married (and she did, rightfully so...no downside for her).   

I also have many friends who are in loveless relationships and more or less just coasting through life trying to not upset their wives.   Just a miserable existence.

So, ultimately I have this view from all of the blessings I have from past relationships and how it could've easily been very different.

 
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pollardsvision

Footballguy
Just on a random question , and I really don't have a dog in this fight (I think marriage is a great thing on the rare occasion that you find two adults making a great decision at the same time. Given how poorly we make decisions, I can certainly understand being skeptical of marriage).

Anyway.....has DNA testing eliminated the real need for marriage?

For most of human history,  there was no way to be sure who created a child. Marriage was a great protection for women in case the man wanted to knock her up and move on. It's been a terrible institution for women for a lot of other reasons, but to keep this dude on the hook for making a child with me, it was good for that. With DNA testing, once the genetic material is sent, the lady is going to get her cut. Unless she got knocked up by a real POS that will work cash jobs and avoid it. But marriage won't protect her from that. 

Marriage was originally terrible for women, but just gave them this one protection that made it worth it. Now, it's a raw deal for men too.

Now that we have women's rights, DNA testing, and child support, marriage does seem kind of pointless. 

Again, no dog in this fight, but DNA testing seems like it's at least shifted the importance. 

 

FBG26

Footballguy
offdee said:
 Quarantine really did a number on us and just our compatability with how we live and make important life decisions became very magnified.
Well people shouldn't get married if they  aren't compatible at making important life decisions. That's the kind of thing that'd be good to learn while dating. 

Several posters have made this point, but I like having the piece of paper because I know my wife isn't going to just up and leave like this hair dresser did. I like having the piece of paper because it makes it way easier to handle each other's affairs should one of us become incapacitated or die. Others have mentioned taxes and such. But mostly, the paper says I'm committed, which no matter how much someone professes to be committed, they aren't committed enough to sign the paper. 

 

AAABatteries

Footballguy
offdee said:
Lol.    Some moron who is putting her body on a pedestal (albeit a very nice body) is agreeing to sign over half of his million dollar + worth to someone he's only known for 4 months.

She was always wanting us to get married and I just never agreed to it because her credit was so terrible from her ex-husband ruining it. Her ex stole her entire 401K to buy drugs.  She has 3 kids under the age of 16 on a hair dresser's salary with no child support from the ex husband/father of her kids, cuz he has no job and will never be able to hold one down. 

I work hard for my money and I wasn't about to put that at risk.  But, I also moved out of a downtown condo and bought us a 3,000 sq ft beautiful house in a nice area for all of us to live in together... and never asked her for anything.  All she was responsible for financially was groceries and any expenses that the kids had with school, etc.   All home improvements, bills, any nights out, trips, mortgages, clothes, shoes, etc that she ever wanted I covered without batting an eye or asking anything of her.    Apparently that wasn't enough for her though so on to the next sucker so she can survive and keep up with the lifestyle she's used to.
This is very telling. 

 

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