Why I Don’t Want My Kids to Play Team Sports (1 Viewer)

[cstu]

I was not very good at sports, but I loved playing them and played multiple sports through high school. I was fortunate to MOSTLY have good coaches that encouraged and pushed me. One of the lessons I learned was that I needed to work hard if I wanted to get better. My father also had a rule that I could play whatever sport I wanted, but I could not quit during a season. He said that I made a commitment and I had to stick with it. I could decide not to play the next season, but I could not quit on my team. That is another great lesson I learned.

I loved football but I was "too small" to play allegedly. In fact when I made my high school Freshman team I wasn't even 5 ft yet. But I got lucky in that I had coaches who recognized how badly I wanted it and how hard I was willing to work. And I did work hard. Couldn't get taller but I could work on my technique to try to overcome it. And I did. Never was a starter but I got into most every game and I made the team over guys who were much closer to the prototype than I was.

Football is much more beneficial to the marginal athlete than baseball.

 

[Abraham]

If you brother wanted to play more, he should've practiced. One of the big benefits of organized youth sports is that it teaches kids to practice and work hard to be better.

Please stop this, some kids are simply #### athletes, or at the very least shouldn't be playing certain sports - such as baseball which requires a high degree of hand eye coordination.

Yup. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

[Treynwreck3]

Too many parents now have a sense of entitlement that they pass along to their kids. Success in sports or any competitive activity isn't about entitlement. It's about hard work and dedication to improvement. That is the key to success in any endeavor. It is a lesson that is all too often lost in today's world.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Too many parents now have a sense of entitlement that they pass along to their kids. Success in sports or any competitive activity isn't about entitlement. It's about hard work and dedication to improvement. That is the key to success in any endeavor. It is a lesson that is all too often lost in today's world.

Some people just want to have fun and run around.

 

[NCCommish]

I was not very good at sports, but I loved playing them and played multiple sports through high school. I was fortunate to MOSTLY have good coaches that encouraged and pushed me. One of the lessons I learned was that I needed to work hard if I wanted to get better. My father also had a rule that I could play whatever sport I wanted, but I could not quit during a season. He said that I made a commitment and I had to stick with it. I could decide not to play the next season, but I could not quit on my team. That is another great lesson I learned.

I loved football but I was "too small" to play allegedly. In fact when I made my high school Freshman team I wasn't even 5 ft yet. But I got lucky in that I had coaches who recognized how badly I wanted it and how hard I was willing to work. And I did work hard. Couldn't get taller but I could work on my technique to try to overcome it. And I did. Never was a starter but I got into most every game and I made the team over guys who were much closer to the prototype than I was.

Football is much more beneficial to the marginal athlete than baseball.

I would agree.

 

[Treynwreck3]

Too many parents now have a sense of entitlement that they pass along to their kids. Success in sports or any competitive activity isn't about entitlement. It's about hard work and dedication to improvement. That is the key to success in any endeavor. It is a lesson that is all too often lost in today's world.

Some people just want to have fun and run around.

Nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of opportunities for kids to do that in organized sports. More and more "equal play" leagues are popping up all the time. The problem lies in the fact that parents want their kids to be more competitive than the kids want to be. They put them in situations where the kid is likely to fail, instead of realizing their kid's motivation is more about participation than competition.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of opportunities for kids to do that in organized sports.

In my experience, even in the lowest-level recreational leagues, lots of the coaches don't treat it that way. Finding those opportunities is a challenge.

 

[Treynwreck3]

Nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of opportunities for kids to do that in organized sports.

In my experience, even in the lowest-level recreational leagues, lots of the coaches don't treat it that way. Finding those opportunities is a challenge.

The world might have better coaches if more people would volunteer instead of criticize those that do.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of opportunities for kids to do that in organized sports.

In my experience, even in the lowest-level recreational leagues, lots of the coaches don't treat it that way. Finding those opportunities is a challenge.

The world might have better coaches if more people would volunteer instead of criticize those that do.

I agree. I coach my kid's youth soccer team and really enjoy it. But the league is always desperate for coaches. They can't turn away bad coaches or even really enforce sportsmanship rules, because if those coaches quit, the teams have to disband. I think for really egregious stuff they'll tell somebody he can't coach, but not for run-of-the-mill stuff like being too competitive and shouting at the kids.

 

[Treynwreck3]

To get back to the original post...Jeff Pearlman is a whiny #####. His brother sucked at sports, his kid sucks at sports and he sucks at sports. Get over it and stop blaming everyone else for your own suckitude.

 

[rascal]

I think the overwhelming emphasis on sports in this country is doing a serious disservice to our children and our country. I have seen kids in 8th grade being recruited to attend a highschool or college. WTF is up with that. We are seeing college atheletes with third grade reading levels. The point of a school is to educate.

I coached my sons 4 year old tball team and was horrified to see other coaches yelling at their players, keeping score, and having practices twice or three times a week. Congratulations for making the game unbearable and ruining the children's desire to play.

I've refereed games and been cursed at, swung at, and even had my tires slashed. All because some of these idiotic parents and coaches are channeling their "west-Canaan" mentality. Wake the #### up people. Combining this with other horrible parenting, my wife is a counselor so I get lots of interesting stories, and truly feel sorry for the kids.

 

[SteevieG]

Isn't Pearlman the guy who wrote the article about John Rocker?

 

[gameday]

Bottom line - kids that aren't good at sports shouldn't be made to join teams where they will be made to feel like crap about themselves.

Good point. My two sons are each on the extreme. The 9th grader is 6' 153 lb and was a starter on both sides for his Frosh HS football team, and is starting catcher on his travel Baseball team. He loves team sports and works hard to continually improve.

His younger brother, on the other hand, is only in the 15th percentile for height/weight and he absolutely hates team sports. We figured that out early on and quit pushing him to play soccer, baseball, etc. Instead he took up karate when he was in 1st grade. He is now in 6th grade, is a Black Belt, competes in National tourneys, and recently won a National title.

If we had kept pushing the little guy I probably would be feeling like the author of the article.

But, I have to wonder about parent's motives. My sons will not be pro athletes and I don't even expect them to be looking for College scholarships. All I want out of sports is for them to have buddies, learn how to set and achieve goals, and to avoid falling into traps like drugs. I think it's all about finding the right fit.

 

[Spin]

If you brother wanted to play more, he should've practiced. One of the big benefits of organized youth sports is that it teaches kids to practice and work hard to be better.

Please stop this, some kids are simply #### athletes, or at the very least shouldn't be playing certain sports - such as baseball which requires a high degree of hand eye coordination.

When I was 6 I played youth soccer. After one game the coach came up to my mom and dad and told them I needed to find a new sport, that I'd never be good at soccer, it just wasn't my thing.

I went on to get a full ride to a division 1 soccer program. Maybe a kids ability at age 6 isn't the best measure for whether or not he will be good at a certain sport.

Even at age 12, some kids just mature at different levels, everyone goes through those awkward growing phases where you're insanely uncoordinated.

 

[Boston]

Since I'm pretty much knee-deep in youth sports right now here are a few more observations:

*There is an obsession with many about skill...they feel that all a coach should do is teach skill...while it's obviously a big part of any sport the main focus of the Coach should be building a healthy team environment...I'm a big fan of what I call "disciplined fun"...you need to have full control of your team but make sure it is still fun...you don't want to be a drill Sergeant (yelling is the laziest form of coaching)but you can't let the kids run the show (disruptive kids need to be identified right away and nipped in the bud)...if this isn't accomplished there's a good chance the season will be a wash...also, the skill needs to be translated to live game situations...I watch some coaches and all they do is have their kids do drills around cones...those same kids than lose it once they have a real body guarding them because they have been given a false sense of security and don't actually know how to play the game...

*So many parents (especially those who did not play)are beyond clueless about how good you need to be to play College...and that means D3 not even D1...for the most part D1 kids are physical specimens whether it's with size or skill (or probably both)...these kids are pretty easy to identify because they usually dominate...but the D3 kid nowadays is a stud as well...I played D3 puck a long time ago and the kids that play D3 now look like D1 players from my era...these are not kids that are noticeably too small or too slow...they are high quality players who just happen not to be not good enough for the big time...any parent who thinks their kid is on the fast-track should be made to attend a D3 game...it will be quite sobering...

*Winning...this topic always comes up with regard to youth sports...there is the win at all cost faction and the let's hold hands and not keep score crowd...frankly I think the correct way to do it is somewhere in the middle...I think every team should play to win...it's freakin' sports and anyone who doesn't think kids enjoy winning more than losing is fibbing to themself...that being said you need to be realistic and not make that the be all end all because losing is going to be a huge part of any sports experience...if you play hard and lose than you don't lose any sleep and to be honest most young kids forget about a loss about five minutes after the game...yet, I do believe as a Coach you are not doing a kid any favors if you are not trying to get the most out of them to have them help their team try to get a win if that's possible...sometimes the other team is simply better and that's life but when you Coach a team and see the excitement in their actions after they worked hard for a win...now that is a real rewarding experience...

 

[NCCommish]

Nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of opportunities for kids to do that in organized sports.

In my experience, even in the lowest-level recreational leagues, lots of the coaches don't treat it that way. Finding those opportunities is a challenge.

The world might have better coaches if more people would volunteer instead of criticize those that do.

I agree. I coach my kid's youth soccer team and really enjoy it. But the league is always desperate for coaches. They can't turn away bad coaches or even really enforce sportsmanship rules, because if those coaches quit, the teams have to disband. I think for really egregious stuff they'll tell somebody he can't coach, but not for run-of-the-mill stuff like being too competitive and shouting at the kids.

It's hard to do but you have to do it. I bounced a coach for being a doosh at the T-ball level. Seriously T-ball. I made our league president take over his team and coach it.

And I have had to go rescue coaches from lunatic parents that were pissed because they weren't winning enough games. Again this happened at the T-ball level. I get there and it's all villagers have the pitchforks and torches. So I asked the big mouth leading the charge when he wanted to start coaching the team. He said he was too busy. I then asked the mom who was his cohort when she would like to start coaching the team, she too had better things to do. Then I turned to the crowd of parents asked if any one of them would do more than #####? No one stepped up and by now people were wandering off. So I told the two instigators the next time they started some crap they would be happy because their kid would be off the team and they would be gone with them. Never heard another word from any of them. All were back the next season.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I agree. I coach my kid's youth soccer team and really enjoy it. But the league is always desperate for coaches. They can't turn away bad coaches or even really enforce sportsmanship rules, because if those coaches quit, the teams have to disband. I think for really egregious stuff they'll tell somebody he can't coach, but not for run-of-the-mill stuff like being too competitive and shouting at the kids.

It's hard to do but you have to do it. I bounced a coach for being a doosh at the T-ball level. Seriously T-ball. I made our league president take over his team and coach it.

And I have had to go rescue coaches from lunatic parents that were pissed because they weren't winning enough games. Again this happened at the T-ball level. I get there and it's all villagers have the pitchforks and torches. So I asked the big mouth leading the charge when he wanted to start coaching the team. He said he was too busy. I then asked the mom who was his cohort when she would like to start coaching the team, she too had better things to do. Then I turned to the crowd of parents asked if any one of them would do more than #####? No one stepped up and by now people were wandering off. So I told the two instigators the next time they started some crap they would be happy because their kid would be off the team and they would be gone with them. Never heard another word from any of them. All were back the next season.

That's great. All I know is that before every season the league sends out an email to all the existing coaches with a list of orphan teams that will be disbanded if they can't find a coach. Parents willing to volunteer coach are scarce.

 

[gameday]

Since I'm pretty much knee-deep in youth sports right now here are a few more observations:

*There is an obsession with many about skill...they feel that all a coach should do is teach skill...while it's obviously a big part of any sport the main focus of the Coach should be building a healthy team environment...I'm a big fan of what I call "disciplined fun"...you need to have full control of your team but make sure it is still fun...you don't want to be a drill Sergeant (yelling is the laziest form of coaching)but you can't let the kids run the show (disruptive kids need to be identified right away and nipped in the bud)...if this isn't accomplished there's a good chance the season will be a wash...also, the skill needs to be translated to live game situations...I watch some coaches and all they do is have their kids do drills around cones...those same kids than lose it once they have a real body guarding them because they have been given a false sense of security and don't actually know how to play the game...

*So many parents (especially those who did not play)are beyond clueless about how good you need to be to play College...and that means D3 not even D1...for the most part D1 kids are physical specimens whether it's with size or skill (or probably both)...these kids are pretty easy to identify because they usually dominate...but the D3 kid nowadays is a stud as well...I played D3 puck a long time ago and the kids that play D3 now look like D1 players from my era...these are not kids that are noticeably too small or too slow...they are high quality players who just happen not to be not good enough for the big time...any parent who thinks their kid is on the fast-track should be made to attend a D3 game...it will be quite sobering...

*Winning...this topic always comes up with regard to youth sports...there is the win at all cost faction and the let's hold hands and not keep score crowd...frankly I think the correct way to do it is somewhere in the middle...I think every team should play to win...it's freakin' sports and anyone who doesn't think kids enjoy winning more than losing is fibbing to themself...that being said you need to be realistic and not make that the be all end all because losing is going to be a huge part of any sports experience...if you play hard and lose than you don't lose any sleep and to be honest most young kids forget about a loss about five minutes after the game...yet, I do believe as a Coach you are not doing a kid any favors if you are not trying to get the most out of them to have them help their team try to get a win if that's possible...sometimes the other team is simply better and that's life but when you Coach a team and see the excitement in their actions after they worked hard for a win...now that is a real rewarding experience...

Agreed. Last week my son attended a baseball assessment run by current and former major league players/coaches and a former college coach (19 years). Even Brad Fischer, Field Coordinator for the Pirates helped run it. They went through the numbers. There are slightly less than 1,000 college baseball programs (D1, D2, and D3). That means there is room for only about 5.6% of high school players to make one of those rosters. Parents are fooling themselves if they think young Jimmy is going to get a scholarship. And, as was pointed out by another poster, at most a student/athlete gets just a fraction of a scholarship anyway, and they have to be re-earned each year.

 

[Scoresman]

A World of Warcraft subscription and an invite to a good raiding guild will teach a child just as much about teamwork.

 

[Jobber]

Maybe his parents shouldnt have put his brother into soccer for the first time AT AGE 12!

Exactly. And if you do join a sport "late", shop around for a rec league where they usually have a policiy of equal playing time.

 

[The_Man]

Agreed. Last week my son attended a baseball assessment run by current and former major league players/coaches and a former college coach (19 years). Even Brad Fischer, Field Coordinator for the Pirates helped run it. They went through the numbers. There are slightly less than 1,000 college baseball programs (D1, D2, and D3). That means there is room for only about 5.6% of high school players to make one of those rosters. Parents are fooling themselves if they think young Jimmy is going to get a scholarship. And, as was pointed out by another poster, at most a student/athlete gets just a fraction of a scholarship anyway, and they have to be re-earned each year.

That 5% stat is interesting - 1 in 20 high school players. So that means in any given HS game, roughly one kid from the combined starting line-ups will play in college.

Here in Baltimore, lacrosse has always been insane but now it's reached a new level. At my son's high school, a freshman just made a verbal commitment to Johns Hopkins. Before playing a single high school game, just based on camps and travel teams. Of course "verbal commitments" aren't worth the paper they're written on, but still. The online newsletter that covers lax recruiting said "He led all midfielders on his 8th grade team in scoring last season."

 

[cstu]

If you brother wanted to play more, he should've practiced. One of the big benefits of organized youth sports is that it teaches kids to practice and work hard to be better.

Please stop this, some kids are simply #### athletes, or at the very least shouldn't be playing certain sports - such as baseball which requires a high degree of hand eye coordination.

When I was 6 I played youth soccer. After one game the coach came up to my mom and dad and told them I needed to find a new sport, that I'd never be good at soccer, it just wasn't my thing.

I went on to get a full ride to a division 1 soccer program. Maybe a kids ability at age 6 isn't the best measure for whether or not he will be good at a certain sport.

Even at age 12, some kids just mature at different levels, everyone goes through those awkward growing phases where you're insanely uncoordinated.

If the kid loves the sport and wants to fight through being terrible - like your case - but it's a disservice to kids to encourage them to play a sport they are both bad at and don't really like.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

If the kid loves the sport and wants to fight through being terrible - like your case - but it's a disservice to kids to encourage them to play a sport they are both bad at and don't really like.

Kids don't always know how they're going to feel about something in the future. My daughter had one disastrous season of basketball when she was in second grade and vowed never to pick a basketball up again. She was terrible at it and hated it. Now she's in 5th grade and plays "knockout" basketball with her friends all the time at recess. But she has no interest in trying to play on a team again, and I'm sure she would suck at it even if she did. But I sorta wish we had tried to get her to stick with it.

 

[Zow]

A World of Warcraft subscription and an invite to a good raiding guild will teach a child just as much about teamwork.

I don't necessarily disagree with this, but you're kidding yourself if you think the added bonus of physical fitness that sports provides is something to be swept under the rug.

 

[CletiusMaximus]

The author's focus on team sports is really odd. He says he wants his kids to run track, do music, drama or "write poetry" instead. Individual sports are every bit as competitive as team sports and the coaches are no different in my experience. gymnastics, swimming, golf and (around here) speed skating can be intense at the youth level. Drama clubs are pressure cookers no different than sports at very young ages. My friends two daughters practice signing constantly, have personal coaches etc., and the try-outs for the big productions are crazy competitive, parents included. Music is similar. Its easy around here to find youth soccer and baseball teams that are fun but less competitive for kids (and their parents) who don't want to do the intense club/travel team route. Tons of kids play in public rec leagues with very little pressure. I think he has a point to make, perhaps a bit of an obvious one about youthful pursuits, but his demonization of team sports is off the mark imo.

 

[Del Griffith]

I was not very good at sports, but I loved playing them and played multiple sports through high school. I was fortunate to MOSTLY have good coaches that encouraged and pushed me. One of the lessons I learned was that I needed to work hard if I wanted to get better. My father also had a rule that I could play whatever sport I wanted, but I could not quit during a season. He said that I made a commitment and I had to stick with it. I could decide not to play the next season, but I could not quit on my team. That is another great lesson I learned.

I loved football but I was "too small" to play allegedly. In fact when I made my high school Freshman team I wasn't even 5 ft yet. But I got lucky in that I had coaches who recognized how badly I wanted it and how hard I was willing to work. And I did work hard. Couldn't get taller but I could work on my technique to try to overcome it. And I did. Never was a starter but I got into most every game and I made the team over guys who were much closer to the prototype than I was.

Rudy? Is that you?

 

[NCCommish]

I was not very good at sports, but I loved playing them and played multiple sports through high school. I was fortunate to MOSTLY have good coaches that encouraged and pushed me. One of the lessons I learned was that I needed to work hard if I wanted to get better. My father also had a rule that I could play whatever sport I wanted, but I could not quit during a season. He said that I made a commitment and I had to stick with it. I could decide not to play the next season, but I could not quit on my team. That is another great lesson I learned.

I loved football but I was "too small" to play allegedly. In fact when I made my high school Freshman team I wasn't even 5 ft yet. But I got lucky in that I had coaches who recognized how badly I wanted it and how hard I was willing to work. And I did work hard. Couldn't get taller but I could work on my technique to try to overcome it. And I did. Never was a starter but I got into most every game and I made the team over guys who were much closer to the prototype than I was.

Rudy? Is that you?

No movies here unfortunately.

 

[Todem]

My take:

My son started playing baseball at 8 years old. We started him in "fall ball" Little League because we were told that it was less competitive and it was a good place/time to learn the game. It didn't take long to realize that my son was behind the curve because most of these kids had been playing ball since they were 5-6 yrs old. But he loved it. Because he wanted to get better, I worked with him. We tossed balls. We hit a thousand balls off the tee. I threw ten thousand soft toss pitches. He got better. Not because of any LL coach who gets no time to spend individually with any kid outside his own. Too many parents toss their kids into youth sports expecting the volunteer dad/coach to teach them the game. There simply isn't time. It's the parents obligation to teach the kids the fundamentals. Youth seasons are too short to focus on individual development. That happens in the backyard with Dad. Yeah, it's too damn bad that some kids don't have a dad. Single parent households should be the exception, not the rule.

Great post.

I have been coaching youth baseball for over 20 years. I have had the pleasure to coach my (turning 9 in March) son for the past 3 years. He started at 4 years old with me teaching him the basics....and working with him a lot. We had a blast learning. We also went through some tough love and all that comes with a Dad trying to teach his son/daughter how to play a very difficult game. Baseball is not easy. I have been playing for 38 years...it is a tough gig even if your great.

We left Recreational baseball last year and went Travel full time this past spring. What I came to realize in my town about recreational baseball is parents toss their kids into baseball.....with absolutely no skills and expect us the coaches in the very limited time we have with them (2 practices a week then games) to teach all 11-13 kids how to catch, hit, throw, run the bases etc. Not going to happen. It is truly up to the parents to work with their kids as often as they can on the basics to at least give them a chance to succeed and then get some very good coaching to enhance and improve their skills.

My son loves baseball. He is a good young player. Do I expect him to be a high school player? Well no...I hope he can compete and make his high school squad one day. That would be great. But if he does not and still loves the game he can still play in junior travel leagues. There is plenty of baseball to be played in South Florida. I don't expect anything other than for him to learn valuable life lessons that come with team sports. If that happens......mission accomplished.

Everything after youth baseball (5-15) is a bonus in my eyes. Because in todays world I know he has little to no shot at playing beyond high school. But I really have no idea how he will develop between now and 15. He is a heck of a little pitcher and a great contact hitter and has a nice glove (typical middle infielder). This will be only his second season in kids pitch. This is where you truly have a weed out of kids who really want it.

Recreational baseball in my city is not for a kid who loves the game and needs better competition. Too many kids are not dedicated enough for my son. He told me himself he wants to be able to throw a ball to someone who can catch it. This was his frustration in his last season of recreational ball. He really had to hold back as half the team did not even have the basic skill of catching the ball. For me as a coach it was tough, but I stayed positive for all the kids and made it as fun as I could. There is nothing wrong with rec leagues for kids who just want to go out and play some ball, have fun. Nothing more...nothing less.

But when i was growing up......it seemed like parents did not just toss Melvins into the mix at todays alarming rate. There may have been a kid or 2 total in my city little league (1979-1985) that flat out stunk. Today half of the kids do not even know how to throw a ball. I am talking about my local city league. I am not making a general statement.

This idea of everyone get's a trophy.....not my cup of tea.

This idea of...it's ok good try. Yeah I understand that...but practice. If you can't practice your going to eventually get hurt badly and fail all the time. Not the best confidence builder for your young kid.

Tee-Ball and Coach Pitch are designed to encourage and keep kids playing. But the parents must help. There kid can't just roll out of bed and be a good baseball player. It takes a lot of patience and practice. Rarely do you get kids who are just good. Those are reserved for the top 2%.

Youth sports parents......crazy. Some really crazy people. In Travel ball....it's even worse. We make sure in our program that we really know the parents and the kid before they are welcomed to the squad. We will never be the best travel team. But I don't care about being the best. I just want an enviroment that is competitve, that the kids understand how to work hard, be respectful, and are learning the game the right way. It is all about life lessons. 99.5% of these kids will never play in the MLB. 70% will never make it to college ball in all liklyhood.

The thing I see too often today is kids being burnt out by age 12. Yes my son does play in the spring and in the fall....but I gave him a full month off in December. I told him other than a once a week 1 hour workout with me....no baseball.

Our season will run through May 5th. After that I am giving my kid 8 weeks off. Play other sports, I only ask he do his 200 swings a week and throw and practice with me once a week to stay sharp. But no team activites for 2 months. If he wants more practice....good his choice.

I see too many kids playing virtually year round......arm troubles at 10 years old. It's insane. It's too much. The body has to recover, their growth plates are still expanding. But some Travel Coaches are taking it to the extreme. 5 days a week practice, and 4 games a week in the form of 2 double headers on the Saturday and Sunday.

Absolute insanity.

Our program is one full squad practice, one week night game, one double header on Sunday and sometimes we will get in one more practice....so call it 4 days a week.....not 6-7.

Effort, hard work and a commitment to the game itself is all we ask. Winning comes. And winning is learned through good teammates playing together for a long time. The turnover in my town on the various teams is also crazy. The parents are like player agents!

I agre youth sports is pretty nuts.....but through all the noise and chaos there are good coaches and programs out there for those kids who are passionate about their respective sport. We are lucky we have a great group of parents and kids and we will be ok.

Like a lot of posts here you have two extremes.

1) Parents that insist their kid who has no business playing that sport play

2) Parents who are training their kid for college at age 8

Rec leagues are now called participation leagues and that is where catagory one falls into. Fine. I took my kid out of that enviroment. He was far to frustrated to deal with it anymore....and I can't blame him.

But catagory two also infests travel leagues and you have to pin point those and try to stay away from them on your squad....unless winning is everything. For us....winning is important. But not at the cost of good values, good fun and keeping these kids enthusiastic about baseball. I cringe when I see coaches ripping 9 year old kids during games.....it's really not called for. deal with it in a calm and professional manner. The practice feild is the practice field. If I see a lack of effort.....I let them know. If I see it on the field...the scoreboard will let the kids know and we will deal with it in practice. But don't embarres these young kids in front of their friends and parents. It pushes them away from the game quickly. We took on two new kids this spring who are totally gun shy. They were yelled at, ridiculed....good ball players too. That's the crazy thing. But their confidence level is so low right now and I am working hard on rebuilding that. I am sure they will be fine and do well....but incredible at this age they have been beaten down so badly by some moronic coaches.

Being competitive yet keeping it loose is a fine line. And it is to me the art of coaching. Our kids do not play in fear. But sometimes they also don't play so well. It's ok. That's why you play again and again and again and again. That is why the big boys play 162 games. Your gonna have some bad games. Some parents though....sheesh...they don't get it. We hit these kids 200 ground balls to maybe get 2-4 hit to them in a game. They take 200 swings a week to get 10-12 AB's a week. teaching these kids focus is the big lesson. teaching these kids to recover from setbacks is a big lesson. You can't do that yelling and screaming at them when they make an error or strike out looking. Not at 9 years old. When they get to 12,13,14....ok another level and by them you either are a ball player or not. But too much chaos and noise for young 8-10 year old kids today. Really incredible.

Baseball is tough people.

 

[sublimeone]

Pushing a non-athletic kid into sports at age 12 is a recipe for disaster. If the kid hasn't show any interest in sports up until that point there's a pretty good chance sports are not his thing. If we were talking about sports for kids 8 and under then I agree with the majority of the article. Play everyone equally, winning does not matter, it's about learning the rules, playing as a team and learning sportsmanship.

I do agree the level of competitiveness and the lengths some parents go to push their children is unfortunate for the 80+% of us that will never play competitively beyond age 15. For the more gifted, those who will play high school varsity and beyond it's a good thing.

Growing up, sports was more recreational, and it was fun. We took practice seriously but there weren't any clinics or private coaches. I don't know if I would enjoy youth sports as much if I was a kid today. Stuff like this makes me want to move to a small town, send my kids to a small school and let them enjoy life. Compete later in life, in stuff that matters, like your chosen profession. With that being said, if my wife and I were passing on superior athletic genes I'd think completely differently.

 

[Todem]

Pushing a non-athletic kid into sports at age 12 is a recipe for disaster. If the kid hasn't show any interest in sports up until that point there's a pretty good chance sports are not his thing. If we were talking about sports for kids 8 and under then I agree with the majority of the article. Play everyone equally, winning does not matter, it's about learning the rules, playing as a team and learning sportsmanship.

I do agree the level of competitiveness and the lengths some parents go to push their children is unfortunate for the 80+% of us that will never play competitively beyond age 15. For the more gifted, those who will play high school varsity and beyond it's a good thing.

Growing up, sports was more recreational, and it was fun. We took practice seriously but there weren't any clinics or private coaches. I don't know if I would enjoy youth sports as much if I was a kid today. Stuff like this makes me want to move to a small town, send my kids to a small school and let them enjoy life. Compete later in life, in stuff that matters, like your chosen profession. With that being said, if my wife and I were passing on superior athletic genes I'd think completely differently.

Travel baseball are for those kids who like the competition and want to really pursue the sport in high school. Most won't play high school, but at least they will have a chance playing against good to great competition. Down here a high school baseball coach does not scout in rec leagues.

It's so different today than it was for us gen X'ers. We did nto sniff travel ball till 13. Today they get going at freaking 6 years old!!!

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

The thing I see too often today is kids being burnt out by age 12. Yes my son does play in the spring and in the fall....but I gave him a full month off in December. I told him other than a once a week 1 hour workout with me....no baseball.

Our season will run through May 5th. After that I am giving my kid 8 weeks off. Play other sports, I only ask he do his 200 swings a week and throw and practice with me once a week to stay sharp. But no team activites for 2 months. If he wants more practice....good his choice.

"My eight-year-old kid won't get burned out because he only plays nine months out of the year, and I forbid him from playing the other three! (except for our weekly training routine)"

 

[Todem]

The thing I see too often today is kids being burnt out by age 12. Yes my son does play in the spring and in the fall....but I gave him a full month off in December. I told him other than a once a week 1 hour workout with me....no baseball.

Our season will run through May 5th. After that I am giving my kid 8 weeks off. Play other sports, I only ask he do his 200 swings a week and throw and practice with me once a week to stay sharp. But no team activites for 2 months. If he wants more practice....good his choice.

"My eight-year-old kid won't get burned out because he only plays nine months out of the year, and I forbid him from playing the other three! (except for our weekly training routine)"

No he probably won't. I played 8 months out of the year too......loved the game. And when your really good at something....you tend to want to do it more than less.

My kid loves the game. He plays January through May and Sep thru November....8 months out of the year in actual season play. He will go three full months of no baseball...the other month...up to him if he wants to practice more.

And he is 9(bascially 3 months away). Kids change drastically each year.....believe me. He may tell me after this season he is done....I have no clue. But all I know is he loves it.

Every kid is different.

And oh weekly training can be anything like us taking some BP.....or pitching a simulated game (which he loves) or playing some HR derby with me, or playing gold glove with me....I make it a lot of fun. And we bring either a football or basketball or his street hockey set and go play something else when we are done. You don't know anything about my kid nor my methods.

Huge difference for a kid when you keep it fun (yet they are learning at the same time). it's all about how you coach and teach. A lot of kids get burnt out because they are being treated and training like a freaking 16 year old.

It's ridiculous.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

The thing I see too often today is kids being burnt out by age 12. Yes my son does play in the spring and in the fall....but I gave him a full month off in December. I told him other than a once a week 1 hour workout with me....no baseball.

Our season will run through May 5th. After that I am giving my kid 8 weeks off. Play other sports, I only ask he do his 200 swings a week and throw and practice with me once a week to stay sharp. But no team activites for 2 months. If he wants more practice....good his choice.

"My eight-year-old kid won't get burned out because he only plays nine months out of the year, and I forbid him from playing the other three! (except for our weekly training routine)"

No he probably won't. I played 8 months out of the year too......loved the game. And when your really good at something....you tend to want to do it more than less.My kid loves the game. He plays January through May and Sep thru November....8 months out of the year in actual season play. He will go three full months of no baseball...the other month...up to him if he wants to practice more.

And he is 9(bascially 3 months away). Kids change drastically each year.....believe me. He may tell me after this season he is done....I have no clue. But all I know is he loves it.

Every kid is different.

Agreed, and I hope you and your kid continue to thrive.

From my perspective, though, you don't exactly seem like the right guy to be critical of the kids who are playing ball all year at 10. You come across as pretty intense yourself.

 

[Todem]

The thing I see too often today is kids being burnt out by age 12. Yes my son does play in the spring and in the fall....but I gave him a full month off in December. I told him other than a once a week 1 hour workout with me....no baseball.

Our season will run through May 5th. After that I am giving my kid 8 weeks off. Play other sports, I only ask he do his 200 swings a week and throw and practice with me once a week to stay sharp. But no team activites for 2 months. If he wants more practice....good his choice.

"My eight-year-old kid won't get burned out because he only plays nine months out of the year, and I forbid him from playing the other three! (except for our weekly training routine)"

No he probably won't. I played 8 months out of the year too......loved the game. And when your really good at something....you tend to want to do it more than less.My kid loves the game. He plays January through May and Sep thru November....8 months out of the year in actual season play. He will go three full months of no baseball...the other month...up to him if he wants to practice more.

And he is 9(bascially 3 months away). Kids change drastically each year.....believe me. He may tell me after this season he is done....I have no clue. But all I know is he loves it.

Every kid is different.

Agreed, and I hope you and your kid continue to thrive.

From my perspective, though, you don't exactly seem like the right guy to be critical of the kids who are playing ball all year at 10. You come across as pretty intense yourself.

Yeah....I can understand that. I am an intense competitor (I won't lie). I love competition. I love to win. I am no doubt instilling the ethics of hard work and practice into my son. But not in a "intense you better practice or you will suck" way.

I will let my son learn through his own failures about the importance of practice. For example. During this past fall season...we were playing 2 games a week with one team practice. So three days a week in the fall. We keep a light schedule in the fall. I did not push any extra batting practice on him (just pitching because this was his first full season pitching and he wants to pitch) at all. Well....low and behold he was slumping at the plate. After 4 games he say's "dad.....I have not hit the ball well at all what is going on?"

Son......have you been taking extra swings? No. Well.....your not going to hit the ball well if you don't practice. So he started using his swing away every day for 2 weeks....without me saying a word. He then wanted to get extra cage time....."he" wanted.

That is my goal.

I want him to care enough to learn the value of hard work....and that it will pay off. And it did. He went on a tear.

I tell my players all the time.....you gotta want it. Go get what you want. If you don't want this....it's ok. But there are other kids who would love your spot. So make a choice. That is part of learning and growing up. Making choices. Sports is a perfect playground for kids to learn about making choices, dedication, team work and sportsmanship on any level.

Ages 9-12 is the most critical time for youth sports. It makes or breaks most kids. Handle it wrong.....and a decent athlete may never experience the joy of team sports at any level. Which stinks. And it is becoming a problem in our country IMO.

 

[Brony]

I didn't think my 5 y.o. kid was that gifted at gymnastics, but the teacher there things she might have some special talent. All I have to do is sign her up for a 12 week personalized training session on Saturday mornings. Will run about $1,400 and I'll have to get us up at 530AM, but it's worth it when she's in the Olympics someday!!!

 

[Captain Quinoa]

kids pitching at 7-8 years old seems crazy to me.

 

[Todem]

kids pitching at 7-8 years old seems crazy to me.

Kids pitch starts at the 9U level. My son started practicing to pitch January of 2013. He did not pitch his first inning till April 2013.

It is when we all started pitching (I know I stated pitching at 8 years old) tee ball was 5-6 years old coach pitch 7-8. By your second year in coach pitch....you can start learning....because next season it is kids pitch.

But a kid who is 7?.....yeah should not really be happening. I am very dilligent about pitch counts, ice after an outing etc.

Nothing but fastballs and then eventually changeups.....no breaking stuff till my son grows. 16 years old is my target. Unfortunately I see kids as early as 12 throwing breaking balls and sliders.

But now there are studies that say the fastballs are worse.....honestly who knows. What I do know is the kids have to rest their arms. hence why I give my kid a mandatory 2 months off, save for once a week to throw, hit whatever...just to stay sharp. I am hearing about arm injuries at a far too early age in the travel circles and that is coaches who are crazy and mis-manging their kids arms in the name of win at all costs.

Screw that!!!

We cap my son and the other pitchers at 60-65 pitches a game. I typically have him start one game a week and he is available to come in for one inning if needed. The key is to develop 6-7 arms on a team so your not leaning on 3-4 kids. But I see teams that do that and they won't give lesser kids a shot because they want to win every game. It's nuts. Sometimes you just need to suck it up.....rest those kids and hit more. These are only 9 and 10 year old kids for the love of christ.

It get's tricky when you play tournaments. If I know we have a tourny coming up....he will not pitch for week. Then he may need to pitch in 2 games in a tourny (consecutive days). I put a 80 pitch max on him total for that weekend. It really needs to be monitored. And our coaching staff keep strict pitch counts. Typically at this level kids pitch 3 innings max. Maybe 4 if they are really having a great outing and a low pitch count.

 

[Gianni Verscotchie]

Like I always say - soccer is for kids who can't throw, catch or shoot.

 

[roadkill1292]

Like I always say - soccer is for kids who can't throw, catch or shoot.

What a curious, and stupid, comment.

 

[The_Man]

It would be funny if someone wrote a reply to the original author entitled "Why We Don't Want Your Kids to Play Team Sports Either"

 

[Jeremy]

There are several points that may have been touched already, so sorry if this sounds like a broken record:

- Kids need to have athletics in their lives. It teaches them teamwork, respect, hard work and, more importantly, it keeps them off their fat asses. We have an obesity problem and poetry and science are not going to fix that. You need balance in your life between athletics, social and academics.

I agree with the need for kids to be active. I can even get behind the teamwork and hard work benifits of athletics, though sports isn't the only place to develop these attributes.

But respect? I don't know. It's been 25 years since high school, but the athletes were not the nice guys. They were pretty much the Alpha Beta's straight out of the Revenge of the Nerds movie. With very few exceptions, they were entitled pricks and bullies. I haven't seen much since then to indicate that's changed much.

Children need physically activity, but I don't think they need athletics in the form of competitive team sports. Leastwise I don't think it should be forced on them. I don't think it's especially character building to be honest.

 

[Steve Tasker]

It's hard to do but you have to do it. I bounced a coach for being a doosh at the T-ball level. Seriously T-ball. I made our league president take over his team and coach it.

And I have had to go rescue coaches from lunatic parents that were pissed because they weren't winning enough games. Again this happened at the T-ball level. I get there and it's all villagers have the pitchforks and torches. So I asked the big mouth leading the charge when he wanted to start coaching the team. He said he was too busy. I then asked the mom who was his cohort when she would like to start coaching the team, she too had better things to do. Then I turned to the crowd of parents asked if any one of them would do more than #####? No one stepped up and by now people were wandering off. So I told the two instigators the next time they started some crap they would be happy because their kid would be off the team and they would be gone with them. Never heard another word from any of them. All were back the next season.

Do you ever have trouble finding umps? Or are there none at that level?

I quit reffing rec soccer because of one ####### coach. U-12 town rec soccer, the kind where everyone gets to play and everyone gets a trophy. The coach had a bad rep and one of our refs had already quit earlier in the year because of him. I was an undersized 15 year old, not much bigger than this guy's kids and certainly far smaller than he was. One of his kids (ETA - to be clear, one of his sons; he had 2 sons on the team) spent the entire game talking ####, and intentionally hard fouled the other team's best player, a dirty as hell slide-tackle from behind after the other player scored a goal. We weren't allowed to give cards in this league, so I had no real authority to kick the kid out....only in extreme circumstances, they had told us. I told the coach to pull his son and basically put him in "timeout" for a few minutes, otherwise I was going to toss him, and he went ballistic. He had already been screaming at me all day from the sidelines. He threatened to fight me in the parking lot. That was when it snapped...#### just got way too real. $10/hour is not nearly enough for me to waste my Saturday mornings on this ####.

Another parent from the other team started yelling that Coach ####### had intentionally told his son to hurt the other player (I have no idea if this is true), and they started going at it verbally. After a few minutes, Coach ####### pulled his kid for a 5-minute rest. He gave me a stern talking to after the game, and I basically gave him a "#### off" attitude. I called the league that night and let them know that after the season, I was done. I finished it out and didn't have any more of his games and quit at the end of the season. He was asked not to return, and the league called me to see if I wanted back in and I said no. Cause if it's not this guy, it's going to be some other #######.

 

[Gianni Verscotchie]

Like I always say - soccer is for kids who can't throw, catch or shoot.

What a curious, and stupid, comment.

Truth, Pele

 

[NCCommish]

It's hard to do but you have to do it. I bounced a coach for being a doosh at the T-ball level. Seriously T-ball. I made our league president take over his team and coach it.

And I have had to go rescue coaches from lunatic parents that were pissed because they weren't winning enough games. Again this happened at the T-ball level. I get there and it's all villagers have the pitchforks and torches. So I asked the big mouth leading the charge when he wanted to start coaching the team. He said he was too busy. I then asked the mom who was his cohort when she would like to start coaching the team, she too had better things to do. Then I turned to the crowd of parents asked if any one of them would do more than #####? No one stepped up and by now people were wandering off. So I told the two instigators the next time they started some crap they would be happy because their kid would be off the team and they would be gone with them. Never heard another word from any of them. All were back the next season.

Do you ever have trouble finding umps? Or are there none at that level?

I quit reffing rec soccer because of one ####### coach. U-12 town rec soccer, the kind where everyone gets to play and everyone gets a trophy. The coach had a bad rep and one of our refs had already quit earlier in the year because of him. I was an undersized 15 year old, not much bigger than this guy's kids and certainly far smaller than he was. One of his kids (ETA - to be clear, one of his sons; he had 2 sons on the team) spent the entire game talking ####, and intentionally hard fouled the other team's best player, a dirty as hell slide-tackle from behind after the other player scored a goal. We weren't allowed to give cards in this league, so I had no real authority to kick the kid out....only in extreme circumstances, they had told us. I told the coach to pull his son and basically put him in "timeout" for a few minutes, otherwise I was going to toss him, and he went ballistic. He had already been screaming at me all day from the sidelines. He threatened to fight me in the parking lot. That was when it snapped...#### just got way too real. $10/hour is not nearly enough for me to waste my Saturday mornings on this ####.

Another parent from the other team started yelling that Coach ####### had intentionally told his son to hurt the other player (I have no idea if this is true), and they started going at it verbally. After a few minutes, Coach ####### pulled his kid for a 5-minute rest. He gave me a stern talking to after the game, and I basically gave him a "#### off" attitude. I called the league that night and let them know that after the season, I was done. I finished it out and didn't have any more of his games and quit at the end of the season. He was asked not to return, and the league called me to see if I wanted back in and I said no. Cause if it's not this guy, it's going to be some other #######.

Yeah we had a lot of problems getting enough refs to call games. Had to use older kids at times.

 

[roadkill1292]

Like I always say - soccer is for kids who can't throw, catch or shoot.

What a curious, and stupid, comment.

Truth, Pele

That's 20th century thinking right there. You need to run with smarter people who read stuff.

 

[Gianni Verscotchie]

Like I always say - soccer is for kids who can't throw, catch or shoot.

What a curious, and stupid, comment.

Truth, Pele

That's 20th century thinking right there. You need to run with smarter people who read stuff.

That's for nerds! I bet I could play half back for the Brazilian Olympic soccer team with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth and would not change the outcome of the games.

Let's see the outcome if you try to pitch a World Series game or play quarterback in the NFL.

:drops mic:

 

[roadkill1292]

Like I always say - soccer is for kids who can't throw, catch or shoot.

What a curious, and stupid, comment.

Truth, Pele

That's 20th century thinking right there. You need to run with smarter people who read stuff.

That's for nerds! I bet I could play half back for the Brazilian Olympic soccer team with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth and would not change the outcome of the games.

Let's see the outcome if you try to pitch a World Series game or play quarterback in the NFL.

:drops mic:

LOOK AT THE BIG 1950 BRAIN ON GIANNI!

 

[Long Ball Larry]

And while we're at it....can we bring back "bus stops"? Seriously, does every kid need to be picked up at their own driveway? It's maddening to be behind a school bus that picks up one kid and drives two houses to pick up another kid...then two more houses down, another kid. Come on. No one is gonna steal your little angel.

WTF is up with this #### now? Just drop them off on the ####### corner.

where is this happening?

 

[glock]

possible :honda:

I want my kids to run track and cross country—where the ultimate goal is to accomplish your personal best. I want them to learn an instrument, to master a craft, to join the drama club.

thoughts?

I was one who was good at pretty much everything- but excelled once I stepped on the x-country course- Ironically to get in shape for basketball. There is something to be said for those sports that pit individuals against themselves...as well as others. Those sports where it all boils down to you versus the clock or measuring tape. No favoritism. Neither the clock or tape can lie. No one to blame but one's self and no one to blow smoke up anyone's butt about how good they are. You either are what you say or you aren't.

I have coached soccer at the pee-wee level right on up to where travel begins and am glad that I got out at that point- my "innocence" still intact. I think I prepared my kids well with age appropriate drills, but I definitely stressed the fun and enthusiasm that is part of being a team over the winning. I like to think I did a good job of preparing the kids because the parents and kids asked to return to my teams season after season.

My eldest was nicknamed "the best rugby player on the team" early on and it is what kept him on the field through college. He didn't possess size, great agility or speed- but he had the grit and tenacity that can't be taught.

My next boy had the tools. ALL of them. Height, speed, agility. He scored goals on long break aways but would shy away from contact. After I had to give up coaching and he didn't make travel he ran into an ex-military retired detective coach who in the course of half a season lost half his kids. Kids who were playing because they liked the game. Kids with no pretense of playing beyond middle school. So, we walked away from this team and he, too tried a new sport at around age 13- baseball. At 6' (now 6'5") he was the fastest in the around the bases drill. He could throw- but with a hitch that he had trouble shaking. And he was Doctor Strangeglove in the field. And the equivalent on the base paths.



He also had a knack for hitting the ball. Nice soft line drives to all fields. I don't know where it came from, but he had it. And the coaches drooled.

But at age 13, coaches- most of them- apparently aren't teaching fundamentals anymore. Way too much scrimmaging. Here was a kid going 5-8 in a double header- getting thrown out on the base paths at times. Not knowing where to throw the ball. And though the coaches knew how raw he was coming in, NONE of them worked with him on his game. They instead called him out for his blunders and berated him. We tried the new tutorial baseball videos and he hit the batting cages. People would stop what they were doing at the indoor range and watch him stroke the ball...

Eventually he couldn't handle the coaches. I told him that it couldn't be that bad. He started finding reasons not to go to practice. Then I heard the message on the machine from one of his coaches and I knew why he was done with them. My wife had to talk me down from going to his house.

What is wrong with some of these guys?

Short story made long- he went out for x-country/track and flourished there as well. It wasn't that he didn't know how to or was afraid of working hard. It was about self respect and coaches not coaching for the kids.

Now a strapping 6'5" / lean 190lbs I say those coaches blew it...

 

[Apple Jack]

And while we're at it....can we bring back "bus stops"? Seriously, does every kid need to be picked up at their own driveway? It's maddening to be behind a school bus that picks up one kid and drives two houses to pick up another kid...then two more houses down, another kid. Come on. No one is gonna steal your little angel.

WTF is up with this #### now? Just drop them off on the ####### corner.

where is this happening?

The only place I've ever seen this was in rural Colorado.