Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (2 Viewers)

[Timmay]

Make sure you sneak off to the bathroom every 15 minutes so you can give us a play by play of whats happening. 

 

[chet]

It's irrelevant to the story. 

I doubt she smokes. Haven't seen her smoking. And she doesn't have the smoker look or voice.

It's not irrelevant.  It helps the huddling masses develop her character in their own minds.  

You have to be able to give us something.

 

[[icon]]

I'm really more excited for the aftermath... Like after a relationship fail with a neighbor, who moves? It's like a game of chicken, just it involves a house and mortgage. 

Personally I'd rather bang a coworker than a neighbor, easier getting a new job.

Once upon a time was banging two coworkers at the same time in an office of 25 or so. The slutty blonde traffic girl who was nothing more than a fun fling, and the sexy "BFF turned something more" copywriter who had long term potential. Didn't mislead anyone regarding relationships or anything. Traffic girl knew about it the whole time and managed to keep it to herself.. i think she dug the "on the sly" factor.

Then one night copy girl's friend saw the blonde and I out elsewhere and the whole thing blew up spectacularly. Didn't have to get a new job because copy girl was cool, and traffic girl wanted to keep things going for a while until it lost its luster for me and cut it all off. Then she got a little tough to deal with. 

Shocked that didn't end up in slashed tires and my office being set ablaze... 

 

 

[Evilgrin 72]

First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."

The lady will have the linguini with clam sauce.... and a Coke with no ice.

 

[bro1ncos]

So does this thread ever come up in conversation at any point of this relationship?

- Never

- 10th wedding anniversary (both ~40 yrs old)

- <10 yrs

- Before the wedding

- Within first 5 dates

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I have a vision of NRJ punching the steering wheel of his truck on the way home, second-guessing everything he said on the date and adjusting his Saints cap in the rearview mirror while "Kashmir" drones in the background.

 

[msommer]

So does this thread ever come up in conversation at any point of this relationship?

- Never

- 10th wedding anniversary (both ~40 yrs old)

- <10 yrs

- Before the wedding

- Within first 5 dates

Either never or when NRJ wants to get out of the relationship fast

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

How old are you NRJ?  I assumed since your kids are older than hers that you are also early to mid 40's.  I see nothing wrong here.

I seem to recall the Colonel saying she is 4 years his senior.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

He doesn't want to get wheelhoused by telling you her profession, but he's been hinting at it all thread.  She's the local weather lady.

 

[[icon]]

He doesn't want to get wheelhoused by telling you her profession, but he's been hinting at it all thread.  She's the local weather lady.

llo

 

[chet]

Too young?

 

[chet]

Probably too young too.

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

love that quotation... but, wha?

That's the response so the attention can get back to wooing this lovely lady. 

 

[Kanil]

My guess at this point is massage therapist.

 

[El Floppo]

That's the response so the attention can get back to wooing this lovely lady. 

link

 

[Buckfast 1]

Honestly.... thread on something simple or what should be at 40 doesn't make sense.  Figured this game is simple for you... like saying "walk in as if you own the place" applies to life. You sound really insecure/not confident.  total turn off... (mean nicely). You're the man remember not 15..

Shes single for a reason an not married. If you want to do whole bond based on asking about her ex  or past go ahead.... Its a ploy or YOU could be u an let her open up talking about anything but her past. .. coffee date not something id endorse.  Shes been there done that. Meet at nice hotel bar . Thats not friend zone like Starbucks... seem way more cool breeze. Trying to recreate excitement not a soccer mom special on lifetime.  Ya and stop going to trash 50x a day... and dont wear "business casual" like ever other dude your age at whole foods... be different but modest. Yes starched polo an shorts /pants ** light... ur a single dude not dip #### reg joe.... she sees him 100x week at grocery Store.. i say all this figuring ur.good.looking savy comedic etc.. if not ur funked...

An working out few days week saying i eat much carbs makes me know ur soft.  You  arent on level to brag... ur a reg guy no hard body an thats ok.. but guy like.me comes in same time .... better hope she likes "nice guys"... if shes as hot as u say. Good luck boss. U got one thing right.. mouth piece is impotant.. hope.goes well an end.day be u. All advice is bs if not who u are inside. She.may not want.game. 

When the Saints fan from rural Cajun country has a better grasp of the English language than you, you're not really in a place to criticize.

 

[worrierking]

Go get 'em Colonel. 

I have a feeling this thing is going to keep going on for a few weeks.  At some point, probably when our hero consummates the relationship, the colonel will stop posting, not wanting to put in writing anywhere that he is having relations.  The thread will turn into a giant mystery as we will never hear about the results.  It'll be like the Russian who disappeared on the Sopranos.

 

[Brony]

Coffee

 

[tommyboy]

It's irrelevant to the story. 

I doubt she smokes. Haven't seen her smoking. And she doesn't have the smoker look or voice.

if she smokes, she blows

 

[Soulfly3]

if she smokes, she swallows

Fixed

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

Darn, meant to tell him to order a grande flat white.

"Colonel Jessup, did you order the flat white?"

 

[tommyboy]

Fixed

that was implied, i assumed being we're all FBG's everyone knows that

 

[[icon]]

Honestly.... thread on something simple or what should be at 40 doesn't make sense.  Figured this game is simple for you... like saying "walk in as if you own the place" applies to life. You sound really insecure/not confident.  total turn off... (mean nicely). You're the man remember not 15..

Shes single for a reason an not married. If you want to do whole bond based on asking about her ex  or past go ahead.... Its a ploy or YOU could be u an let her open up talking about anything but her past. .. coffee date not something id endorse.  Shes been there done that. Meet at nice hotel bar . Thats not friend zone like Starbucks... seem way more cool breeze. Trying to recreate excitement not a soccer mom special on lifetime.  Ya and stop going to trash 50x a day... and dont wear "business casual" like ever other dude your age at whole foods... be different but modest. Yes starched polo an shorts /pants ** light... ur a single dude not dip #### reg joe.... she sees him 100x week at grocery Store.. i say all this figuring ur.good.looking savy comedic etc.. if not ur funked...

An working out few days week saying i eat much carbs makes me know ur soft.  You  arent on level to brag... ur a reg guy no hard body an thats ok.. but guy like.me comes in same time .... better hope she likes "nice guys"... if shes as hot as u say. Good luck boss. U got one thing right.. mouth piece is impotant.. hope.goes well an end.day be u. All advice is bs if not who u are inside. She.may not want.game. 

This guy is like @gordon gekko, but with downs syndrome.  Please go away. 

 

[[icon]]

If she does something somewhat uncommon it's likely she can be found with a Google search. In fact, he's probably already done it and knows that if he tells us what industry she is in there's a possibility he's given us enough info to find her. 

And that would be really dumb of him to do. 

 Proninja knows stuff

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/SMV.gif

That's actually a pretty awesome graphic 

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Lost in all of this is that unless Donald Trump spikes in the polls, Jessep only has 2 months left to have to keep taking cold showers.

 

[El Floppo]

nothing like young dumb white guy schtick to rile up the troops.

 

[money.never.sleeps]

Nice hotel bar?  They live in rural Louisiana, I doubt the Motel 6 has much of an ambiance.  Tom Bodett might leave the light on but it isn't the place to grab a coffee with this broad.

Coffee it is. Makes sense

 

[northern exposure]

I was getting a little annoyed reading the military analogies in some of the responses (that shtick is played out imo). But, then money.never.sleeps showed up and showed me what really is annoying. Thanks mns!

 

[culdeus]

Well?  

Can we designate someone to @ everyone when he comes back?

 

[TakiToki]

She being on the wrong side of 40 and with two kids I imagine one of her tattoos could be a bar coded expiration date, and she is fast approaching that date.  She is definitely past her maximum freshness date, and maybe her sell by date.

You Colonel, are the catch here, not her.  She should be pursuing you.

OP, you are the Colonel. You have the 350k house and 6-figure income .She may be hot, flirty divorcee, but you are the prize.

 

[The Hank]

Well?  

Can we designate someone to @ everyone when he comes back?

I think you just volunteered!

 

[Funkley]

OP, you are the Colonel. You have the 350k house and 6-figure income .She may be hot, flirty divorcee, but you are the prize.

 

[Tom Servo]

 

[money.never.sleeps]

This guy is like @gordon gekko, but with downs syndrome.  Please go away. 

Bit rude. Whole point is she's 40. Shes seen the magic show as Rod Tidwell would say. And I'm not using her past as a source of topic off bat. Why brimg up a guy shes wanting to forget? I want to ask her about her/present and her wanting to know about me until she brings IT up. But you either have confidence and strike while irons hot or you go into the friend zone... mean if you want to be "he's just my nice neighbor"& watch from the side lines thats fine. Not my style but again I'm a talker/in person type so OP should know what she likes. I didnt sift through all rabble. 

The only.people who don't see this are the people making condescending off topic responses but no sir I dont have down syndrome.  You have a great day and gl OP.. hopefully she has the qualities, personality and life goals that are in the same mold as yourself to go along with the physical attraction.  

 

[rodg12]

Mods, please remove the @money.never.sleeps drivel from an otherwise awesome thread.  When you're worse than cheese schtick, you really need to reevaluate what you're doing with your life.

 

[money.never.sleeps]

When the Saints fan from rural Cajun country has a better grasp of the English language than you, you're not really in a place to criticize.

Please with the grammer police bs. I have large hands and a note 7.. Sorry if my novel to help OP confused you and icon to point of me being an illiterate mongoloud... Why this thread is 51 pages an guy just got a cup joe with her today.... sheesh.

 Like I meant to come off initially insteady of cocky d bag.. be confident and nice  etc.. and hopefully rural saints fan in LA has a good day. 

Btw u cant type out a novel on how to pick up your neighbor on the internet  and not open yourself up to whatever. Obviously he has no clue or else he wouldnt be asking random strangers.. just saying. Carry on

 

[VA703]

this just got good

 

[Limp Ditka]

illiterate mongoloud...

 

[Coeur de Lion]

this just got good

If by "good" you actually mean "agonizingly terrible," then 

 

[Tom Servo]

Please with the grammer police bs. I have large hands and a note 7.. Sorry if my novel to help OP confused you and icon to point of me being an illiterate mongoloud... Why this thread is 51 pages an guy just got a cup joe with her today.... sheesh.

 Like I meant to come off initially insteady of cocky d bag.. be confident and nice  etc.. and hopefully rural saints fan in LA has a good day. 

Btw u cant type out a novel on how to pick up your neighbor on the internet  and not open yourself up to whatever. Obviously he has no clue or else he wouldnt be asking random strangers.. just saying. Carry on

Guy gives advice with more spelling and syntax errors than a blind French dyslexic with no understanding of the English language.

 

[money.never.sleeps]

To be fair I & O are next to each other. Arrest me though .. im butchering this thread. 

GL OP. No more from me today

 

[Bob Sacamano]

In a nutshell, you're not planting a flag anywhere.  If she wants to talk about her past, OK.  But there's no point in asking.  You're more likely to end up her ear than her ####toy.

 

[Soulfly3]

After this coffee date, you need to not do anything w her for a few days

Packing too much, in too short a timeframe. Dont look desperate. Let her build the desire. Otherwise this will fizz out like a "Josh Gordon will never play again" comment

 

[Take_The_Shot]

You know that feeling when you have a party and every body is enjoying themselves......and then that one uninvited guy walks in that nobody wants there because he just annoys the piss out of everybody with his "look at me" schtick all night? I feel like we just hit that part of this party.........

 

[culdeus]

Anyone Google hourly motels in Monroe?

 

[jonessed]

Don't ask about her past.  That's way too fast and way too serious at this juncture.  Flirt, have fun, plan a casual date for next week.  

Solidifying a relationship outside the friend zone is not about what you do, it's about how you do it.  Be yourself and have fun.  You have to play the game.

 

[Steve Tasker]

After this coffee date, you need to not do anything w her for a few days

Packing too much, in too short a timeframe. Dont look desperate. Let her build the desire. Otherwise this will fizz out like a "Josh Gordon will never play again" comment

Honestly, I was kinda thinking this too.  BBQ Sunday, half-day together Monday, coffee date Wednesday.  Both sides have indicated interest, keep it going but 3 in 4 days is a quick progression, IMO.

That said, I haven't dated in years so what the hell do I know?

 

[Chemical X]

here is a major issue that our hero may not have planned for.....if he goes to starbucks, they carry lunch items.  what in the hell happens if this  turns into someone ordering a lunch item?  jeebus, is he prepared?  I suspect he is going to get the "speech" this morning.

-I just got out of a serious relationship

-It's complicated.

-I am an escort.

-The Saints once employed a kicker with 1/2 a foot.

 

[Kanil]

here is a major issue that our hero may not have planned for.....if he goes to starbucks, they carry lunch items.  what in the hell happens if this  turns into someone ordering a lunch item?  jeebus, is he prepared?  I suspect he is going to get the "speech" this morning.

-I just got out of a serious relationship

-It's complicated.

-I am an escort.

-The Saints once employed a kicker with 1/2 a foot.

I hope this is the case and AZ Ron loans OP 3 racks to entwine these stories.

 

[James Daulton]

Longest coffee date ever?  Could our hero be having some MILF desert?