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You have to go #2 but are out of TP...what do you do? (1 Viewer)

What do you do?

  • Hold it in, go to the store and buy TP

    Votes: 4 4.3%
  • Use napkin/paper towel to wipe

    Votes: 49 52.7%
  • Don't wipe and shower right after

    Votes: 14 15.1%
  • Start a poll on FBG's asking what to do

    Votes: 9 9.7%
  • Knock on neighbor's door, ask to "borrow" TP

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Send SO/family member to the store for TP

    Votes: 2 2.2%
  • Wipe with something other than TP/napkin/paper towel

    Votes: 5 5.4%
  • Bidet #####!

    Votes: 5 5.4%
  • Go somewhere where they have TP and poop there

    Votes: 2 2.2%
  • Other

    Votes: 3 3.2%

  • Total voters
    93

Nipsey

Footballguy
You have to go #2. You're not at DEFCON 1 yet but under normal circumstances you would go to the bathroom right now. Before you sit on the toilet you realize you're completely out toilet paper. What do you do?

 
I'd probably poop then shower, but if it was recently after I already showered or I didn't have time for that, I may just use a paper towel and throw it away in the trash outside.

 
Napkin or paper towel at home.

I've been hit by a red alarm need to dump on a couple occasions while out for a long run.  I wear a bandana when running.  I was no longer wearing the bandana when I got home on those two days.

 
It is almost impossible for a household to be out of napkins, tp, tissues, baby wipes and paper towels all at the same time.   There are too many options for this to ever be a concern ahead of time.

 
Hand held shower head does the job.  Just make sure you rinse all the fecal matter down the drain good.

 
WhatDoIKnow said:
Napkins or paper towels. I did mistakenly buy some terrible single ply TP a while ago. That stuff only gets used in an emergency. 

I think I still have 7 and a half of the original 8 rolls.
Scott's is always a rookie mistake.

 
To the tune of Branded.  For you young folks a western in the 60s with Chuck Connors.

Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl
Stranded
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl
What do you do when you’re stranded
And there ain’t nothing on the roll?
To prove you’re a man
You must wipe it with your hand
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl!

 
I need 2 ply quilted at all times. But I have 2 friends who live together who are perpetually low on TP; and if they do have it, it's ####ty Scott. How grown ### men won't pay for their butts to have good toilet paper, I won't understand

 
I need 2 ply quilted at all times. But I have 2 friends who live together who are perpetually low on TP; and if they do have it, it's ####ty Scott. How grown ### men won't pay for their butts to have good toilet paper, I won't understand
I would call them The Sandpaper Twins.

 
Next best paper product, used sparingly (half-### it?) and then shower.  Audible to exclusively either depending on the, uh, outcome.

 
First thing I'd do is sit and try to figure out why someone broke in to my house and only stole the toilet paper, nothing else. Because that's the only way I'd ever be out.

 
This one was a no brainer.  When I read the thread title I was thinking about being in the middle of nowhere with no access to anything but what you had on.  I was about to be walking without socks on for the rest of the day.

 
This one was a no brainer.  When I read the thread title I was thinking about being in the middle of nowhere with no access to anything but what you had on.  I was about to be walking without socks on for the rest of the day.
Sounds like a rhetorical question a bear would ask another bear.

"Does a sockless hiker #### in the woods?"

 
This one was a no brainer.  When I read the thread title I was thinking about being in the middle of nowhere with no access to anything but what you had on.  I was about to be walking without socks on for the rest of the day.
:goodposting:

Having napkins, paper towels and a shower available takes this scenario completely out of the crisis category.  Crisis is when you're out on a boat, at least an hour from shore, and know you'll never make it.  Camping for 4 days and realize you have no TP, and your choices are leaves, a newspaper, socks/t-shirts and any squirrels you can catch or kill.

 
Strange question not sure who would ever run out of TP at home.  If so though just use a napkin or paper towel just hop in the shower when done to clean up. 

On the road or somewhere where you just don't have those options then it's the old use the underwear then go commando option. :bag: .  Happened just one time.

 
Strange question not sure who would ever run out of TP at home.  If so though just use a napkin or paper towel just hop in the shower when done to clean up. 

On the road or somewhere where you just don't have those options then it's the old use the underwear then go commando option. :bag: .  Happened just one time.
In a house with two sons, you would be surprised.  :ph34r:

 
Strange question not sure who would ever run out of TP at home.  If so though just use a napkin or paper towel just hop in the shower when done to clean up. 

On the road or somewhere where you just don't have those options then it's the old use the underwear then go commando option. :bag: .  Happened just one time.
Stash the drawers in the ceiling tiles, amirite?

 

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