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Your baby is not invited (1 Viewer)

Apple Jack said:
Yep. One man's crazy, debaucherous weekend is another's relatively quiet weekend. Need to see the manifest. Still, one or both of those parents are likely being inconsiderate and selfish somewhere in there.
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And pics of the wife, if she's hot and dad's worried about everybody trying to bang her.

 
The guy is out of line IMO. As a father of three kids, I can't believe this guy thinks he's still part of this lifestyle and even if he is, the kid doesn't belong. The bottom line is, kids can be annoying to others even if they are good. Assuming it's ok to bring the kid is douchy.

 
Courtjester said:
First of all, your friend is stupid for even considering bringing the child. When you are a parent, there are certain things you need to pass on bottom line. Even though our kids were very well mannered, we didn't take them to movies or fancy restaurants until they were older just out of courtesy to other people. Heck, there were several times one of us would attend a wedding, while the other one stayed home with the kids. It just is the right thing to do.
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This is such a great posting! As someone who deals with the public on a daily basis, I wish more used this line of thinking. Nothing worse than being in a public place seeing some parents letting their child run around at will. I don't understand how some people think it's acceptable. Leave the kid at home if you can't or don't try to control it.
 
Really weird he wants to bring an 18 month old to that kind of thing. Up all night, drunk, barely sleeping? 18 month olds need to sleep a crapload, seems like a terrible idea.

He needs to let go of the old lifestyle, or bribe the wife with something for her to stay home with the kid, and maybe even then only come for one or two nights.

 
Freelove said:
Friends are useless between the time their children are born and the time the kids go to college, anyway. I know we were, and it's certainly been true of every relationship we've maintained over the years.

The good news is that every couple you manage to keep on your radar will be totally down to orgy in their mid 40's once the kids are gone. It's worth the wait if any of your friends married well.
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Babies........any creature that ####s it's own pants :thumbdown:

 
Courtjester said:
First of all, your friend is stupid for even considering bringing the child. When you are a parent, there are certain things you need to pass on bottom line. Even though our kids were very well mannered, we didn't take them to movies or fancy restaurants until they were older just out of courtesy to other people. Heck, there were several times one of us would attend a wedding, while the other one stayed home with the kids. It just is the right thing to do.

if they don't want to get a nanny, then you need to have a talk with him. You need to make it very clear there will be no changing how the group will act just because of the baby. You plan on being vulgar. You plan on getting drunk and being loud and it is frankly no place for a baby. It may cause hurt feelings, but it is better that be upfront, then for something to occur during the party and an argument to ensue.

I can see if this was just a party that you guys hold every weekend. If that was the case, I can see a situation where a person could get in a jam and HAVE to bring a baby because of unforeseen circumstances. However, since this is a once a year thing, there is no excuse to bring a baby.
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Likely stupid, but more likely he is just selfish. "But I want a pony daddy" type. He cannot see past how he has justified to himself how it could work out fine ...not considering anyone else. In fact, he is likely to be insulted if you suggest that they don't bring "Todder."

 
Sounds like the friend is not very bright. Why would you want to bring a kid that young to something like this?

Maybe a friendly reminder of what goes on will make him see the light. Probably not, though. :lol:

 
Leave the kid in the car. During the day they might want to check on the kid every few hours, but at night the kid should be fine.

 
Snickers said:
I would be willing to bet the husband went solo last year and doesn't want the wife there by herself this year. The kid is just a way to avoid his wife whoring around while he changes diapers.
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this right here.

what's the wife's rating?

 
Courtjester said:
First of all, your friend is stupid for even considering bringing the child. When you are a parent, there are certain things you need to pass on bottom line. Even though our kids were very well mannered, we didn't take them to movies or fancy restaurants until they were older just out of courtesy to other people. Heck, there were several times one of us would attend a wedding, while the other one stayed home with the kids. It just is the right thing to do.

if they don't want to get a nanny, then you need to have a talk with him. You need to make it very clear there will be no changing how the group will act just because of the baby. You plan on being vulgar. You plan on getting drunk and being loud and it is frankly no place for a baby. It may cause hurt feelings, but it is better that be upfront, then for something to occur during the party and an argument to ensue.

I can see if this was just a party that you guys hold every weekend. If that was the case, I can see a situation where a person could get in a jam and HAVE to bring a baby because of unforeseen circumstances. However, since this is a once a year thing, there is no excuse to bring a baby.
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Pretty much

 
daddy went solo last year, but now that it's his turn to take care of the kid (and let his wife attend the party solo) he wants to bring the kid along.

shocker

 
Fatherhood changes a person, or at least it should. That being said, it is important for both parents to get some time to themselves, because it's important for that person's well being. The best way I learned was via advice from men who had been there before, and could give advice on what to expect. Some men handle it better than others, but the point is to let this guy figure it out and keep him involved.

 
Rick James said:
daddy went solo last year, but now that it's his turn to take care of the kid (and let his wife attend the party solo) he wants to bring the kid along.

shocker
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The only problem with that theory is that the mom has identified a solution where both parents can go without the baby. I feel like the OP didn't put enough effort into constructing his original story.

 
Er. The Father is the one with the irrational fear of leaving the toddler home with the sitter? The Father is the one who would be reciprocally responsible for the care of the child otherwise since the wife stayed home last year? Yea... not your problem, the kid shouldn't be at the event for his, or all of the other participant's benefit. He knows this, and you know this since you even asked the question in the first place.

If he still has an issue with it, he wasn't a friend or had ulterior motives (didn't trust the Mrs., no regard for the child, too selfish or never grew up.)

 
Hastur said:
One of the following scenarios is taking place:

1.) The father of the toddler is not adjusting to being a parent, and wants to hold on to the way life was before the baby.

2.) The father of the toddler is an irrational jerk.

3.) The father of the toddler 'mis-remembers' what this annual party is like, and thinks his baby will 'be fine'.

4.) The father of the toddler does not want his wife at a party with Steve in the outhouse.

5.) The OP 'mis-remembers' what this annual party is like, and it is more like a bible study than it is a coke fueled booze fest.
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You can easily make a soundproof cage using a dog crate and a bunch of pillows. Stick that in an upstairs bedroom and you'll never hear a thing.

 
Everyone in the house could be charged with negligence if there is drug use going on with kids around. Just imagine, music is a little loud, cops knock on the door, some idiot drunk opens, cops smell weed... Party over.

 
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OP probably drinks 5 Zima and is a mess while the others sit around and have some drinks like responsible adults. Perfectly fine for the kid to come as long as they keep him from the OP.

 
Cliff Clavin said:
OP probably drinks 5 Zima and is a mess while the others sit around and have some drinks like responsible adults. Perfectly fine for the kid to come as long as they keep him from the OP.
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We were thinking this was more of a 'Turn Down for What?!' weekend, which would make this an issue. If this is the case, have at it, unless the other participants are going to explicitly get away from their children.

 
Nothing is worse when I make a point to get a sitter, even for a nice night out for dinner and someone's screaming kid is ruining my evening. For example, if I go to Ruth's Chris, I don't expect to hear someone's kid crying - Applebees totally different story.

I host parties at my house that range from wild adults only, business casual networking cocktail hour to family/kids cook out.

It's either a "adults only" party or "bring the kids" party.

Never both.

 
mrip541 said:
A group of friends and I have rented a beach house every year for while now. The goal is to go and let it all out once a year. Noise, booze, irresponsible behavior, no sleep, whatever you can think of. What happens at the beach house stays at the beach house. Last year, one of the couples had recently had a baby and decided one of them would stay home with said baby, but this year the father has let it be known that due to a family member backing out of weekend babysitting duty, they plan to bring their 18-month old to the bacchanal. I fully expect to get some hate for this, but the baby is just not invited. The mother told me that they have a nice grandmotherly nanny who looks after very young children for a weekend or more on a regular basis, but the father refuses to even consider leaving his kid for 3 days. I feel like having a child has messed with this guy's brain chemistry and he'll take any suggestion of perhaps leaving his child for more than 5 minutes as completely absurd and offensive. How do you convince a new father that it's ok to leave his kid with a nanny overnight for the first time?
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You don't. You simply tell him him the baby isn't welcome to an adult weekend, let him figure out what to do from there. There's nothing better than hearing the sweet sound of a baby wailing at 6am when I just passed out at 5am. :rant: Somebody better step up and tell this dude to leave his baby home. There's only bad things that can come out of this. Sounds like you talk to the wife, at least tell her it's not a good idea. Can't even imagine why they would think it's ok. I would have no problem telling a friend of years that they shouldn't bring a baby.

 
Missed a lot of events when the kids were little. Sometimes the wife or I went alone. Was just part of the parenting deal. :shrug:

I'm agreeing with others that it's daddy's turn to stay home, but he doesn't want to.

 
Billy Bats said:
mrip541 said:
A group of friends and I have rented a beach house every year for while now. The goal is to go and let it all out once a year. Noise, booze, irresponsible behavior, no sleep, whatever you can think of. What happens at the beach house stays at the beach house. Last year, one of the couples had recently had a baby and decided one of them would stay home with said baby, but this year the father has let it be known that due to a family member backing out of weekend babysitting duty, they plan to bring their 18-month old to the bacchanal. I fully expect to get some hate for this, but the baby is just not invited. The mother told me that they have a nice grandmotherly nanny who looks after very young children for a weekend or more on a regular basis, but the father refuses to even consider leaving his kid for 3 days. I feel like having a child has messed with this guy's brain chemistry and he'll take any suggestion of perhaps leaving his child for more than 5 minutes as completely absurd and offensive. How do you convince a new father that it's ok to leave his kid with a nanny overnight for the first time?
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You don't. You simply tell him him the baby isn't welcome to an adult weekend, let him figure out what to do from there. There's nothing better than hearing the sweet sound of a baby wailing at 6am when I just passed out at 5am. :rant: Somebody better step up and tell this dude to leave his baby home. There's only bad things that can come out of this. Sounds like you talk to the wife, at least tell her it's not a good idea. Can't even imagine why they would think it's ok. I would have no problem telling a friend of years that they shouldn't bring a baby.
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:goodposting:

It's going to be an unpleasant conversation but it has to happen. Or cancel the weekend.

 
I'm definitely surprised by the number of (amusing) responses and won't try to address them all, but I think the bottom line is it probably won't be safe for the baby to be crawling around all weekend, even if it's not quite as wild as I suggested, and one of us needs to tell him even though he should know this already. And his is definitely a situation where the mom will end up looking after the kid while the dad has fun.

 
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mrip541 said:
I'm definitely surprised by the number of (amusing) responses and won't try to address them all, but I think the bottom line is it probably won't be safe for the baby to be crawling around all weekend, even if it's not quite as wild as I suggested, and one of us needs to tell him even though he should know this already. And his is definitely a situation where the mom will end up looking after the kid while the dad has fun.
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So are people going to be discarding used syringes on the floor? I agree, probably not good for baby to be crawling around.

 
- My circle of friends have kid-friendly events and not-so-kid-friendly events. It's pretty clear up-front which is which. I tend to miss most of the kids not welcome events which is kind of what I signed up for when we had our little brats.

- It is crystal clear amongst my friends which events are which. If someone wanted to violate the expectations we would clarify for him. I don't have any friends for which this would be a big deal and cause any issues. Then again, I'm not sure I have any friends that wouldn't get this to begin with.

 
Worst part of entire thread is the WIFE is willing to use a babysitter for a couple days and the guy is saying no.

 
I'm hoping this is just the setup for a great camping-esque story in a few weeks. Dad stays home with kid, mom attends wild weekend. Things happen.

 
mrip541 said:
I'm definitely surprised by the number of (amusing) responses and won't try to address them all, but I think the bottom line is it probably won't be safe for the baby to be crawling around all weekend, even if it's not quite as wild as I suggested, and one of us needs to tell him even though he should know this already. And his is definitely a situation where the mom will end up looking after the kid while the dad has fun.
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18 month olds don't crawl around. They also sleep like rocks 12+ hours a day. They're not newborns.

I think people need a little more detail on this. Basically, anything more than weed and monogamous sex going on? If not, an 18 month old kid isn't gonna mess up anything. They're actually kind of hilarious when you're stoned ... as long as you're not the one who has to be responsible for them and whoever has to be responsible for them isn't stoned.

If you're ripping lines on the coffee table and getting midday BJs that's a different story.

 
These #######s just have to do it this year? They can't skip a year and get it going again next year?

 
mrip541 said:
And his is definitely a situation where the mom will end up looking after the kid while the dad has fun.
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And this represents the disconnect for me, because looking after the kid WAS fun for me- in fact, when my daughters were babies, there was nothing else I would have rather been doing. It wasn't a burden.
 
TobiasFunke said:
mrip541 said:
I'm definitely surprised by the number of (amusing) responses and won't try to address them all, but I think the bottom line is it probably won't be safe for the baby to be crawling around all weekend, even if it's not quite as wild as I suggested, and one of us needs to tell him even though he should know this already. And his is definitely a situation where the mom will end up looking after the kid while the dad has fun.
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18 month olds don't crawl around. They also sleep like rocks 12+ hours a day. They're not newborns.

I think people need a little more detail on this. Basically, anything more than weed and monogamous sex going on? If not, an 18 month old kid isn't gonna mess up anything. They're actually kind of hilarious when you're stoned ... as long as you're not the one who has to be responsible for them and whoever has to be responsible for them isn't stoned.

If you're ripping lines on the coffee table and getting midday BJs that's a different story.
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Pretty sure second hand smoke ain't great. And really even if they lay around in a pot haze all day it is an adult thing not a kid thing. They have a sitter with a good rep available there is no reason to bring the kid. Of course when you have kids things change. But they change for you not everyone else.

 
timschochet said:
mrip541 said:
And his is definitely a situation where the mom will end up looking after the kid while the dad has fun.
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And this represents the disconnect for me, because looking after the kid WAS fun for me- in fact, when my daughters were babies, there was nothing else I would have rather been doing. It wasn't a burden.
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Should I start the canonization process or do you have someone working on that already?

 
Homer J Simpson said:
timschochet said:
mrip541 said:
And his is definitely a situation where the mom will end up looking after the kid while the dad has fun.
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And this represents the disconnect for me, because looking after the kid WAS fun for me- in fact, when my daughters were babies, there was nothing else I would have rather been doing. It wasn't a burden.
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Should I start the canonization process or do you have someone working on that already?
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LOL. Most new parents I knew felt the exact same way.
 
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