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Funny things your kid has said (4 Viewers)

My 2 yo daughter will sing these songs that she learns in daycare. Various nursery rhymes. Bumblebee song. Twinkle twinkle. Normal stuff.

Tonight, out of nowhere, she busts out:

"Ba ba ba..ba bar bra ann..........Ba ba ba...ba ba ba bar bra aaaaaaaaa--aaaa---annn. Please take my hand.......Bar bra aaa-aaa-aaan. You got me rockin and a rollin...."

My wife and I just lost it.

 
gianmarco said:
My 2 yo daughter will sing these songs that she learns in daycare. Various nursery rhymes. Bumblebee song. Twinkle twinkle. Normal stuff.

Tonight, out of nowhere, she busts out:

"Ba ba ba..ba bar bra ann..........Ba ba ba...ba ba ba bar bra aaaaaaaaa--aaaa---annn. Please take my hand.......Bar bra aaa-aaa-aaan. You got me rockin and a rollin...."

My wife and I just lost it.
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My kid picked this up from his daycare too. No idea why that's a daycare song.

 
twin 3 yr olds ( boy/girl), and a 4 yr old daughter.

my son Cillian loves to watch Thomas and Friends..took him to Pa. to see Thomas and Percy - actually a really good time,anyone who has kids should go there , near Bird in hand/lancaster/intercourse Pa..

anyways, so as Thomas is going out for a ride down the tracks, Percy comes in to the station.

my son's head is about to explode from excitement! I'm holding him up so he can see Percy..

he starts yelling 'Percy daddy, Percy! I love Percy'.

only the boy can't pronounce the letter 'R'..so it comes out like he's saying 'pus*y'..LOL..

when I asked his twin, Orlaith , what she wanted to be when she grows up, she replied 'a cowgirl'.

she also likes to say 'Mommy, I'm a knacker"..being that her mom is from Dublin, Ireland, and the term knacker is a derogatory term used for Irish gypsies ( like Pikey in U.K)..it never gets old.

 
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My son (4yo) has recently been playing the Thor level on Disney Infinity. They have bad guy frost giants that shoot ice balls at you. Last night my kid was pretending he was running around pretending he was a frost giant. He turned to my wife and said "Don't touch my balls, they're frozen and will hurt you"!

 
My 10-year old is playing Minecraft and the 7-year old is watching him. Something happened that made the older one mad. The younger one stands up and says

"I'm gonna back up before you get all punchy. "

 
"Mommy your ###### has a beard!"

Apparently my 6 year old walked in on the wife while she was changing, and she had some stubble since it been a few days since she last shaved. Lol.

ETA: Filtered word is the anatomically correct term for female genitalia.

 
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11 year old daughter was watching TV last night and I asked her what she was doing Friday night. She said she was going to the movies with a friend. I said, "Are you spending the night or coming back home?"

She said, "People keep asking me if I'm coming back.... YEAH, I'M THINKING I'M COMING BACK!"

:lmao:

She totally has my sense of humor. :lol:

 
Tonight my mom posted one of her high school graduation pictures on Facebook. She honestly doesn't look much different now, 50 years later.

I showed the picture to my boys, telling them this was 50 years ago and Mimi looked almost exactly the same. My 10-year old's response?

"Yep, that's what happens when you use moisturizer."

 
MikeIke said:
Tonight my mom posted one of her high school graduation pictures on Facebook. She honestly doesn't look much different now, 50 years later.

I showed the picture to my boys, telling them this was 50 years ago and Mimi looked almost exactly the same. My 10-year old's response?

"Yep, that's what happens when you use moisturizer."
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So true.

 
My 7yo son was sitting next to the new baby I the car. He says "babies are so much fun to rake care of. They are so valuable. And you don't want to grab their heads with your hand and squish it as hard as you can."

 
My brother taught my now two year old to call his penis his Big Willie a while back. At the time, it was pretty funny so no harm no foul. He is now potty training and doing very well. We are out to eat last Friday, and he says he has to pee, so I take him to the handicap stall and help him get up on the toilet. He's had issues in the past with not holding it down and peeing over the toilet seat. The bathroom is fairly crowded, and he looks at me and asks, "Daddy, can you hold my big willie down?" Of course a couple of guys overheard it and started laughing.

 
Was over at a friends for his sons 1st bday this weekend. He has a 3yo sister who for the first time paid attention when he was getting his diaper changed. She saw his peemus and laughed as she said "HAHA, Levi has a looooong butt".

 
Not making this up - my 6 yo daughter at dinner tonight while eating chicken...

S: "I like skin. Not people skin, on chicken. People skin too, but only dead."

Me: :jawdrop: :changetopic:

 
My Son's birthday is coming up and he has been trying to butter us up to get more presents. So my other son told him to tell mom "mom I love you as much as you love Facebook do I get more presents". Wife put a beat down on our oldest son.

 
bucksoh said:
My Son's birthday is coming up and he has been trying to butter us up to get more presents. So my other son told him to tell mom "mom I love you as much as you love Facebook do I get more presents". Wife put a beat down on our oldest son.
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Truth hurts!

 
So I'm having a conversation with my 9 year old yesterday. We are talking about him turning 10 this year, and he's all cocky because he's gonna be in the double digits as far as age:

Me: Just remember, no matter how old you get, I'm still going to be smarter than you.

Him: Well, the older you get, you're going to start forgetting things. Then I'll be smarter than you.

Me: :kicksrock:

 
ChiefD said:
So I'm having a conversation with my 9 year old yesterday. We are talking about him turning 10 this year, and he's all cocky because he's gonna be in the double digits as far as age:

Me: Just remember, no matter how old you get, I'm still going to be smarter than you.

Him: Well, the older you get, you're going to start forgetting things. Then I'll be smarter than you.

Me: :kicksrock:
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Sounds like he's already smarter than you.
 
My two sons were having an argument this weekend and my oldest "mistakenly" broke the younger son's LEGO. When I told my oldest to apologize, they had this exchange:

OLDEST: "I'd apologize, but I can't since it was just a mistake. So, Ben, I'm sorry that I did nothing wrong."

(long pause)

YOUNGEST: "I don't accept your apology."

:lmao:

 
Today my 10 year old asked me if he could download "that game with the pretty lady with big boobies." (Kate Upton commercial for Game of War.)

He's taking after his old man, that's for sure. I had to explain to him that she isn't actually in the game, only the commercial. He seemed disappointed.

 
MikeIke said:
Today my 10 year old asked me if he could download "that game with the pretty lady with big boobies." (Kate Upton commercial for Game of War.)

He's taking after his old man, that's for sure. I had to explain to him that she isn't actually in the game, only the commercial. He seemed disappointed.
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otis wouldve disowned his kid
 
[SIZE=10.5pt]KanilJr's conversation with a dinosaur (wife was the dinosaur's voice) this morning:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]KanilJr: Guess what? Firefighters don't make jokes.
Dinosaur: They don't? Why not?
KanilJr: They're just not good at them.
Dinosaur: What about (firefighter neighbor)? He's funny.
KanilJr: (after a LONG pause) Wellllll, he's just funny at home. At fires he just sits and watches videos. But they are NOT funny videos.[/SIZE]

 
I have a pair of Ralph Lauren house pants that are blue with the horse logo all over them. I'm wearing them last night and my 2 yo comes over to sit with me.

Her: (pointing to the horse): "What's that?"

Me: "A horse"

Her: (pointing to another one): What's that?"

Me: "A horse"

Her: (pointing to another one): What's that?"

Me: "A horse"

Her: (pointing to another one): What's that?"

Me: "A dog"

Her: "No, it's a horse"

Me: "Oh, ok"

Her: (pointing to another one): What's that?"

Me: "A pig"

Her: "No, it's a horse"

Me: "Oh, ok"

Her: (pointing to another one): What's that?"

Me: "A cow"

Her: "No, it's a horse"

Me: "Oh, ok"

Her: (pointing to another one): What's that?"

Me: "A horse"

Her: "Good job, daddy"

:lmao:

 
Kanil said:
The other day KanilJr broke out into song out of no where. What song you ask? "Everyday I'm hustlin... Everyday I'm hustlin"

Thankfully he just repeated that line over and over. I think I need to be a bit more careful about what I listen to around him now!
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Similar but my 6 yo signing along too:

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

 
Yeah, I never realized how filthy the lyrics were to my music until I started carting around the kid. Even the "clean" versions of songs have me panicking to hit the "next" button at times.

 
TheIronSheik said:
Yeah, I never realized how filthy the lyrics were to my music until I started carting around the kid. Even the "clean" versions of songs have me panicking to hit the "next" button at times.
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I force my kids to listen to PJ radio sometimes and Eddie has let a few words go before i can catch it and i hear in the back seat that's a bad word. I just say yeah don't repeat it.

 
NetnautX said:
TheIronSheik said:
Yeah, I never realized how filthy the lyrics were to my music until I started carting around the kid. Even the "clean" versions of songs have me panicking to hit the "next" button at times.
Click to expand...
I force my kids to listen to PJ radio sometimes and Eddie has let a few words go before i can catch it and i hear in the back seat that's a bad word. I just say yeah don't repeat it.
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LINK

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
NetnautX said:
TheIronSheik said:
Yeah, I never realized how filthy the lyrics were to my music until I started carting around the kid. Even the "clean" versions of songs have me panicking to hit the "next" button at times.
Click to expand...
I force my kids to listen to PJ radio sometimes and Eddie has let a few words go before i can catch it and i hear in the back seat that's a bad word. I just say yeah don't repeat it.
Click to expand...
LINK
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The only thing you know about kids is how to yell at them to keep off your lawn.

 
NetnautX said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
NetnautX said:
TheIronSheik said:
Yeah, I never realized how filthy the lyrics were to my music until I started carting around the kid. Even the "clean" versions of songs have me panicking to hit the "next" button at times.
Click to expand...
I force my kids to listen to PJ radio sometimes and Eddie has let a few words go before i can catch it and i hear in the back seat that's a bad word. I just say yeah don't repeat it.
Click to expand...
LINK
Click to expand...
The only thing you know about kids is how to yell at them to keep off your lawn.
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OH SNAP!

 
This one is from my cousin and her daughter (I think she's 6 or 7 years old).

Daughter: Are we taking I-71 South today?

Mom: Not today. Traffic is too bad. We're going to take a different way.

Daughter: But I want to take I-71 South.

Mom: We'll probably take I-71 North home.

Daughter: But I like I-71 SOUTH.

Mom: Sorry, buddy.

Daughter: No! I am NOT a buddy.

 
10 and 7 year old sons are busy splashing away in the bathtub. I decide to ambush them with a video camera and hide inside of the fort that they had built in their bedroom.

They are finished with their bath and I can hear them walking down the hallway towards their bedroom. They walk into the room and I spring my trap by slowly standing up (video camera is already recording) and saying, "Gentlemen."

Both of them turn around and see me. The oldest son, who is buck naked, bolts from the room at the speed of light.

The youngest one takes a look at me, drops his towel and begins to twist his body back and forth causing wee package to bounce in all directions.

As he is doing this, he's looking directly into the camera lens and shouting at the top of his lungs, "Shake a leg, momma! SHAKE A LEG!!!!"

I was speechless.

 
This is a 2 parter.....

A few weeks ago I was driving my 2 sons (8 & 6) home from soccer practice and we were talking about what they learned. I was going over a play and my 6yr old goes with that sheepish look like he's in trouble..."Daddy, you said a whole lotta words and then a little bit'a words. I only understood the little bit'a words. You talk too fast" :lmao: OK, I get it. I get excited about soccer.

So last night the 6yr old is telling my wife how the US men's soccer team beat Germany in a friendly.

Wife: "Friendly?"

Me: "Picture it like a preaseason game or an organized scrimmage...."

6yr old cuts me off: "Mommy, I can say this faster. The game doesn't count" <_<

 
6 year old has a paper bracelet on from a summer camp field trip. She asks me to take it off and says "Mommy thinks you might need scissors"

so I grab it and tear it off without using scissors.

My daughter looks at me in amazement and says

"That. Was. Amazeballs"

complete with dramatic pauses.

 
Daughter goes to the bathroom and when she's finished yells out "My poop smells like cheerios!"(it definitely did not)

My son is peeing and points to his penis and calls it his bum, my wife explains that that's his penis not his bum bum, he yells out to his sister....I have a peanut, you don't have one!!

My daughter, daddy are you an engineer? I say yes, her response, why don't you drive trains?

 
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