Binky The Doormat 12,942 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 3 minutes ago, Reg Lllama of Brixton said: I like to piss on that guy's ####in' leg. sounds like he'd prefer you aim a little higher. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reg Lllama of Brixton 11,956 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 2 minutes ago, Binky The Doormat said: sounds like he'd prefer you aim a little higher. This popcorn's ####ing terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mr. furley 12,403 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Reg Lllama of Brixton said: BAH GAWD! That's Mrs. Butterworth's music! was that a man, a woman or a transvestite attacking that IHOP worker? whatever it was.. it got KO'd Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reg Lllama of Brixton 11,956 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Just now, mr. furley said: was that a man, a woman or a transvestite attacking that IHOP worker? whatever it was.. it got KO'd ( •_•) That guy definitely got... ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Pancaked YYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reg Lllama of Brixton 11,956 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Cheese nips 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Getzlaf15 11,154 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 On 3/17/2018 at 3:47 PM, Getzlaf15 said: So we've now spent a MONTH deciding on the color of new hardwood flooring. (While not having a master bathroom to use) The rep has been to our place twice with samples. Four times we have been to their showroom and brought home samples. Nothing matches our cherry cabinets. It's total insanity. On the fourth and last visit to the showroom Thursday, we had half of the showroom floor strewn with samples and she brought in our kitchen cutting board because the end of the piece matches our cabinets. And she still couldn't decide. To be fair, we had decided FOUR times before and she changed her mind. So I just gave up. I found a nice, comfortable chair and plopped myself down and asked them if they had any alcohol. They gave me a beer. Then they said they needed a beer also and joined me. We all threatened to make her take shots until she decided. Ten minutes later, I signed the contract. She just changed her mind again. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kevzilla 7,974 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Reg Lllama of Brixton said: Cheese nips I'll take Things You Can't Unsee for a thousand, Alex. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reg Lllama of Brixton 11,956 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 8 minutes ago, Getzlaf15 said: She just changed her mind again. Nobody will ever notice that the floor and cabinets are a shade different...besides her. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El Floppo 29,005 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 8 minutes ago, Getzlaf15 said: She just changed her mind again. Now imagine this is what you do for a living. And scarves. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Getzlaf15 11,154 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Just now, Reg Lllama of Brixton said: Nobody will ever notice that the floor and cabinets are a shade different...besides her. I told her that after the first time she changed her mind. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
badmojo1006 6,164 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 7 hours ago, Osaurus said: Is brushing your teeth at a urinal now considered normal? Witnessed it today and most definitely a wtf moment for me. Did he use the urinal cake instead of toothpaste? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
5-ish Finkle 3,358 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 3 hours ago, El Floppo said: Now imagine this is what you do for a living. And scarves. So, I'm thinking either this or perhaps this, just with more hair pulling. In the ballpark? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Osaurus 9,193 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 4 hours ago, badmojo1006 said: Did he use the urinal cake instead of toothpaste? Possibly Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas The Skank Engine 517 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 8 hours ago, Getzlaf15 said: She just changed her mind again. Just tell her "no". /divorcedguyadvice 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El Floppo 29,005 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 5 hours ago, 5-ish Finkle said: So, I'm thinking either this or perhaps this, just with more hair pulling. In the ballpark? Close 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Osaurus 9,193 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, El Floppo said: Close Lube? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El Floppo 29,005 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, Osaurus said: Lube? My clients prefer to rape me without. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Epic Problem 2,778 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 hour ago, El Floppo said: My clients prefer to rape me without. PM sent /wetdream 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El Floppo 29,005 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 25 minutes ago, Epic Problem said: PM sent /wetdream Pm received. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kevzilla 7,974 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 hours ago, El Floppo said: My clients prefer to rape me without. I liked this post, but then I was torn. So I guess I'm just like Flop. :burninginhell: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El Floppo 29,005 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 34 minutes ago, kevzilla said: I liked this post, but then I was torn. So I guess I'm just like Flop. :burninginhell: Now you're getting it. Not a euphemism. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Pack 2,617 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 (edited) On 3/18/2018 at 11:33 AM, GroveDiesel said: No. They've been doing it for awhile. It's why I always leave a giant printout of 2G1C for their prying eyes. On 3/18/2018 at 11:33 AM, Wild Young Billy said: That’s not new, it happens a good bit. On 3/18/2018 at 0:41 PM, Binky The Doormat said: uh, about 2001. On 3/18/2018 at 9:04 PM, shuke said: Been happening for a long time. 21 hours ago, tommyboy said: happens all the time. welcome to america post 9-11 I guess we don't travel very often. Thanks fellas Edited March 20, 2018 by Mr.Pack Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reg Lllama of Brixton 11,956 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Bully cat put in its place Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aerial Assault 2,397 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Wow, congrats to you folks on 1800 pages. And you lost more than that (way more?) in the board downgrade, right? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
-fish- 13,976 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Aerial Assault said: Wow, congrats to you folks on 1800 pages. And you lost more than that (way more?) in the board downgrade, right? 5000! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reg Lllama of Brixton 11,956 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I did. Her name was Ms. York. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Osaurus 9,193 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 17 minutes ago, Aerial Assault said: Wow, congrats to you folks on 1800 pages. And you lost more than that (way more?) in the board downgrade, right? WE DID IT!!!!! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
-fish- 13,976 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 18 minutes ago, Reg Lllama of Brixton said: I did. Her name was Ms. York. We only had middle-aged men that liked to watch boys shower. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Malaise 27,539 Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 10 minutes ago, -fish- said: We only had middle-aged men that liked to watch boys shower. Yeah, that was always a tad askew. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aerial Assault 2,397 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 21 minutes ago, Osaurus said: WE DID IT!!!!! I'll be back when you guys hit 5,000 again. So, see you on Easter Sunday. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GroveDiesel 9,323 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 17 minutes ago, Aerial Assault said: I'll be back when you guys hit 5,000 again. So, see you on Easter Sunday. Joke's on you. Everyone in this thread will be in church on Easter Sunday, just like every Sunday. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aerial Assault 2,397 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 7 minutes ago, GroveDiesel said: Joke's on you. Everyone in this thread will be in church on Easter Sunday, just like every Sunday. And you're up to 1801!!!!!!!!!!111 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Malaise 27,539 Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 Was thinking about this the other day....my mom's a very religious lady, moved up here, quickly became a church elder. When she would have speaking parts or whatever, we'd dress the kids up and go and we'd go on Xmas Eve when she asked. There might have been an Easter or Mother's Day tossed in there since 2006 when she arrived in Portland. Now that she's confined to full time care, I wonder if I'll ever go to a church service again in my lifetime. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Epic Problem 2,778 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, General Malaise said: Was thinking about this the other day....my mom's a very religious lady, moved up here, quickly became a church elder. When she would have speaking parts or whatever, we'd dress the kids up and go and we'd go on Xmas Eve when she asked. There might have been an Easter or Mother's Day tossed in there since 2006 when she arrived in Portland. Now that she's confined to full time care, I wonder if I'll ever go to a church service again in my lifetime. don't you baptize an offspring every 10 months or so? 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reg Lllama of Brixton 11,956 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Chuffs Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Malaise 27,539 Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 7 minutes ago, Epic Problem said: don't you baptize an offspring every 10 months or so? 0-5 on baptisms or christenings. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Malaise 27,539 Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 Because I doubt all of you will check out the "Dead Fox in a Freezer" thread, I present to you this post from Top Dog: Quote I have an older brother who is a hillbilly. Not sure how that happened as the rest of us were pretty normal and we grew up in a pretty urban area. Anyway, he used to "trap". Had properties outside the city where he would set up traps to catch raccoons, muskrats, whatever the hell he could then skin and sell the pelts. Had a whole setup in the garage where he could stretch the pelts or whatever. There were times where he'd throw a possum, fox, whatever in the freezer to process or whatever later. I remember my mother being PISSED at him one time because he put a possum in the freezer that apparently wasn't dead. When she opened the freezer it had clawed it's way out of the bag it was in and was frozen solid hanging there, or sitting on the shelf, or whatever looking at her. He's also the only person I know who has been sprayed by a skunk (multiple times) and once put his truck in a ditch because he hit a raccoon or something driving, stopped to get it and for whatever reason threw it up in the cab with him. It was only stunned and woke up. He had to beat it with an axe handle he kept next to his seat (for killing roadkill) and managed to go off the road in the brawl with whatever it was. We think he was adopted. 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
McJose 9,395 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Where are the white women at? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RC94 2,081 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Is it true that people from Toronto are terrified of hard-boiled eggs? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cosjobs 15,364 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 10 hours ago, El Floppo said: My clients prefer to rape me without. like you weren't already wet Quote Link to post Share on other sites
badmojo1006 6,164 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 The Last few pages are kinda warped Quote Link to post Share on other sites
McJose 9,395 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 26 minutes ago, badmojo1006 said: The Last few pages are kinda warped Good read 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El Floppo 29,005 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 5 hours ago, General Malaise said: Yeah, that was always a tad askew. Tad Askew sounds like a bad hombre Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Osaurus 9,193 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 4 hours ago, General Malaise said: Was thinking about this the other day....my mom's a very religious lady, moved up here, quickly became a church elder. When she would have speaking parts or whatever, we'd dress the kids up and go and we'd go on Xmas Eve when she asked. There might have been an Easter or Mother's Day tossed in there since 2006 when she arrived in Portland. Now that she's confined to full time care, I wonder if I'll ever go to a church service again in my lifetime. Just tell her you go. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ignoramus 5,794 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 7 minutes ago, El Floppo said: Tad Askew sounds like a bad hombre I was in the Army with a guy from New Hampshire named Tad Askew. Actually true. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GroveDiesel 9,323 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Shoulda stayed outta grandpa's secret stash. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
McJose 9,395 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 2 hours ago, GroveDiesel said: Shoulda stayed outta grandpa's secret stash. Link broken Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GroveDiesel 9,323 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 7 hours ago, McJose said: Link broken Fixed 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RC94 2,081 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 We haven't heard from Chuck Norris in a while. If Chuck Norris was so awesome he could come to my apartment as I type this and slam my face into my keyboariwt7m9hiuepg09gjvorep\cqr3fetku 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
UOFI_316 790 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 19 hours ago, General Malaise said: 0-5 on baptisms or christenings. You need to work on your aim or shoot from closer to the basket, those baptismal fountains are pretty big. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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