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Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (3 Viewers)

Since you live next door to her, Colonel, I have an idea.

Have one of your buddies dress up in black clothes and ski mask, and break into her home late night when you know she's there.  Wait until you hear some screaming and commotion and then come barging through the door your friend unlocked for you.  Engage in some mock fighting with the intruder and then let him escape out the door or window.  Her emotions will be on such a roller coaster that she'll naturally be attracted to the man who just saved her.

Granted, her kids will be traumatized and your friend may get shot if she has a gun, but it'll all be worth it for you.  Banging probability:  100%.

 
Whenever you see her, walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants.  Intense eye contact is a must.

 
It's about biology bro.

She's a female woman and is deprived of male ferimons, so you gotta be the stud to replace that shiz.  You gotta scent her property, maybe the hole hood with cornel stank.

Run around real late like after 10, and pee on her stuff.  Doors, car handles, mail box, trees, any pets if you can catch them.  Drink much of beers first.  Then it will smell like you, like on discovery Channel.

Then her brain will produce chemicals and stuff and she'll be all hot for you.  

It's scientific. 

 
Best of luck, keep us updated.

Only thing I would add is that single moms don't have a full dance card, so you aren't dealing from weakness. I doubt that she is inundated with offers from serious men with their own children. 

 
If you're still nervous, practice with the other neighbor on the opposite side of you. Clean their gutters, grind your junk on their door knob, grab their boob until you're comfortable with performing easily with the hot single mommy.

 
Instead of stealing her mail, write her a letter yourself and deliver it. Don't put a return address on it and say it ended up in your mailbox by mistake. And by write, I mean cut some letters out of a magazine and glue them to the paper. Just let her know you've been "noticing" her and you'll "bump into her one night". Maybe put a lock of your hair in as a gift.

 
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I am no expert, but you gotta figure not a lot of dudes wanna become instadad to 2 kids, even if they have their pvvn kids.  so, have the mindset that she is damaged goods with low self esteem.  then ask if she wants to come over to watch Kung Fu.   you're welcome.

 
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Colonel, switch your wi-fi network name to "Will you go out with me,[her name]?"

The next time her internet goes down, she'll pull up the list of available wi-fi networks to reconnect.  Nestled amongst the list she'll find the mysterious network name, and her interest (and potentially her nipples) will be peaked.

Granted, she'll hope it's your better looking neighbor, but worth a shot anyway.

 
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