McBokonon
Footballguy
This is way too long, but what the hell?
I had never had an attack until several years ago in Vegas. I go every year with some buddies for the first four days of March Madness. The week leading it up to it I had noticed that I was kind of just tapping my head, right above my ear, habitually. I had been doing it for a while but didn't realize it until then. I asked someone at work if they had seen me do that and she confirmed she had. For all I know, my behind-my-back nickname was Tappy McHeadTapper for months and I had no clue.
So, we were at Caesar's and I noticed I was getting very nervous all of a sudden. The screens seemed further away than normal. I tried to deal with it but eventually I just left without saying anything to anyone, not that anyone would notice. We usually have several in a group and leave to pee or whatever all the time.
Only thing is I couldn't find my way out. By the time I left the book I felt like my whole body was violently shaking, only internally. Eventually, I had to sit down by one of those pillars they have. I looked around and could sort of make out the doors but I couldn't get myself there. I looked up and tried to ask someone for help, but no doubt I looked like a completely strung out maniac so everyone just bolted past me. I eventually got up and managed to get outside. I ####### HAD to get outside. I found the little outside bar at the palace and somehow managed to order a Guinness. I was having a very hard time forming sentences, still shaking, but I could at least mutter one word. I drank the beer and tried to focus on the television but I couldn't quite do it. I felt a little better but it was still rough going. I decided I needed to get back to the hotel room and try to sleep. At the time, I was blaming this whole episode on excessive drinking and not enough sleep, just like every other March Madness trip.
I made it to the part of Caesar's with the cabstand. I was very, very challenged. I had no idea what to do. I eventually walked up to the woman behind the stand and stuttered my way through "C-c-cab?" She didn't look up and said, "Stand over there." I didn't move. She looked up at me, her eyes got big and she said, "You're having a panic attack. Just look right at me and know you're ok. I have these all the time, your eyes are flying around and I know what that looks like. Now, what's your hotel name?" I was immediately calmer. I was still in the midst of a full-blown panic attack but I could manage to tell her. She went over to a cab, explained my plight and guided me in. I wanted her to guide me in another way at the moment, but I likely would have just slobbered all over the place and clucked like a chicken or something.
I got back to the hotel. I figured I should attempt to buy a beer from the lobby store, go upstairs and just be alone. I just needed to be away from lights and bells and people. So, I was around these things again and it was almost as bad as before my sweet, sweet angel saved me. I fumbled through a transaction and certainly ran to the elevator. I crouched down and hit the button. People started coming towards the elevator. They were looking at a guy practically in a fetal position, clutching a beer like grim death and pounding like a madman at the "close door" button. I COULD NOT BE DELAYED!@# The doors closed before they got there. I'm sure they cursed my name.
Made it to the room, had maybe three sips of the beer and then decided I didn't want to be awake anymore. I managed to sleep. I was fine the next day and haven't had one since, but I suddenly stopped tapping my head.
This has been a panic attack story!@#$
I had never had an attack until several years ago in Vegas. I go every year with some buddies for the first four days of March Madness. The week leading it up to it I had noticed that I was kind of just tapping my head, right above my ear, habitually. I had been doing it for a while but didn't realize it until then. I asked someone at work if they had seen me do that and she confirmed she had. For all I know, my behind-my-back nickname was Tappy McHeadTapper for months and I had no clue.
So, we were at Caesar's and I noticed I was getting very nervous all of a sudden. The screens seemed further away than normal. I tried to deal with it but eventually I just left without saying anything to anyone, not that anyone would notice. We usually have several in a group and leave to pee or whatever all the time.
Only thing is I couldn't find my way out. By the time I left the book I felt like my whole body was violently shaking, only internally. Eventually, I had to sit down by one of those pillars they have. I looked around and could sort of make out the doors but I couldn't get myself there. I looked up and tried to ask someone for help, but no doubt I looked like a completely strung out maniac so everyone just bolted past me. I eventually got up and managed to get outside. I ####### HAD to get outside. I found the little outside bar at the palace and somehow managed to order a Guinness. I was having a very hard time forming sentences, still shaking, but I could at least mutter one word. I drank the beer and tried to focus on the television but I couldn't quite do it. I felt a little better but it was still rough going. I decided I needed to get back to the hotel room and try to sleep. At the time, I was blaming this whole episode on excessive drinking and not enough sleep, just like every other March Madness trip.
I made it to the part of Caesar's with the cabstand. I was very, very challenged. I had no idea what to do. I eventually walked up to the woman behind the stand and stuttered my way through "C-c-cab?" She didn't look up and said, "Stand over there." I didn't move. She looked up at me, her eyes got big and she said, "You're having a panic attack. Just look right at me and know you're ok. I have these all the time, your eyes are flying around and I know what that looks like. Now, what's your hotel name?" I was immediately calmer. I was still in the midst of a full-blown panic attack but I could manage to tell her. She went over to a cab, explained my plight and guided me in. I wanted her to guide me in another way at the moment, but I likely would have just slobbered all over the place and clucked like a chicken or something.
I got back to the hotel. I figured I should attempt to buy a beer from the lobby store, go upstairs and just be alone. I just needed to be away from lights and bells and people. So, I was around these things again and it was almost as bad as before my sweet, sweet angel saved me. I fumbled through a transaction and certainly ran to the elevator. I crouched down and hit the button. People started coming towards the elevator. They were looking at a guy practically in a fetal position, clutching a beer like grim death and pounding like a madman at the "close door" button. I COULD NOT BE DELAYED!@# The doors closed before they got there. I'm sure they cursed my name.
Made it to the room, had maybe three sips of the beer and then decided I didn't want to be awake anymore. I managed to sleep. I was fine the next day and haven't had one since, but I suddenly stopped tapping my head.
This has been a panic attack story!@#$
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I'm so embarrassed by this. I'm a strong woman for the most part. So it's really embarrassing for this to happen to me, especially around the one man in the world for whom I want to be strong. :cheesy:
