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GM's thread about nothing (8 Viewers)

Drifter said:
So, there's a report we run for one of our customers. It's due by 10:00 Easter and reports on the previous day's activities. Normally, this report gets sent by my operation on the same day within 30 minute of said activity's completion, beating the deadline regularly by something like 16 hours.Last week, said activity was not performed on Thursday so that report to the customer was not generated (completion of the activity generates the poke to send the report - a process flaw but understandable). On Friday an email is sent from the customer to my office requesting the report. This is sent early Eastern time so no one is in the office to respond. A follow up email is sent 90 minutes later to which I personally respond immediately apologizing, explaining what happened and attaching the report.Today, I get an email chain forwarded from my boss that travelled up the chain at our customer #####ing and moaning about not getting the report, complaining about emailing 3 times to get a response (only emailed twice) and failing to mention that normally we are outstanding in respect to this compliance.Since I've got a new job and all, I am having a hard time not responding to them with sternly worded lesson on partnership and not treating high performance vendors like delinquent children and exaggerating to put them in a negative light when a rare issue pops up.Someone talk me down.
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Have you given notice yet?
 
Sea Ropes said:
Is it in bad taste to bet on a couple getting divorced? I've been right so many times that I feel I wouldn't have to work if I had put money on people's marriages failing.
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No. And I need to let you know that I am a champion divorce predictor.MamaJose: Well I just called to let you know that your brother and his wife are separating.Me: Called it.MamaJose: What?Me: Nevermind. That's too bad.
 
Drifter said:
So, there's a report we run for one of our customers. It's due by 10:00 Easter and reports on the previous day's activities. Normally, this report gets sent by my operation on the same day within 30 minute of said activity's completion, beating the deadline regularly by something like 16 hours.Last week, said activity was not performed on Thursday so that report to the customer was not generated (completion of the activity generates the poke to send the report - a process flaw but understandable). On Friday an email is sent from the customer to my office requesting the report. This is sent early Eastern time so no one is in the office to respond. A follow up email is sent 90 minutes later to which I personally respond immediately apologizing, explaining what happened and attaching the report.Today, I get an email chain forwarded from my boss that travelled up the chain at our customer #####ing and moaning about not getting the report, complaining about emailing 3 times to get a response (only emailed twice) and failing to mention that normally we are outstanding in respect to this compliance.Since I've got a new job and all, I am having a hard time not responding to them with sternly worded lesson on partnership and not treating high performance vendors like delinquent children and exaggerating to put them in a negative light when a rare issue pops up.Someone talk me down.
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All I have running through my head is that little UPS "logistics" jingle.
 
phishphan said:
Thorn said:
Fuller. said:
I obviously do not just produce semen, but more like tiny Navy Seals. I had a vasectomy 4-1/2 months ago, and since then I have had sex with my wife countless times and spanked it myself at least once (I may have those figures reversed), and as of yesterday SOME OF THOSE LITTLE TOUGH BASTARDS ARE STILL HANGING AROUND.I'm tired of collecting samples. Do you have any idea how hard it is to shoot it into that cup without making a mess?!?!
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Are you trying to tell me that after a vasectomy you're supposed to stop producing? I did not know that.
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you don't stop producing (they start being absorbed back into your body) but they shouldn't be able to get out of teh penis. The problem is that these guys are still on the exit side of the snip, meaning that I could still possibly cause the creation of a little snot-nosed crap-eater.
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who are you and why are you answering for Fuller.?
 
mr. furley said:
phishphan said:
Thorn said:
Fuller. said:
I obviously do not just produce semen, but more like tiny Navy Seals. I had a vasectomy 4-1/2 months ago, and since then I have had sex with my wife countless times and spanked it myself at least once (I may have those figures reversed), and as of yesterday SOME OF THOSE LITTLE TOUGH BASTARDS ARE STILL HANGING AROUND.

I'm tired of collecting samples. Do you have any idea how hard it is to shoot it into that cup without making a mess?!?!
Click to expand...
Are you trying to tell me that after a vasectomy you're supposed to stop producing? I did not know that.
Click to expand...
you don't stop producing (they start being absorbed back into your body) but they shouldn't be able to get out of teh penis. The problem is that these guys are still on the exit side of the snip, meaning that I could still possibly cause the creation of a little snot-nosed crap-eater.
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who are you and why are you answering for Fuller.?
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I have no idea | | |

V V V

 
Yesterday had the perfect timing.

11am, wife called her doctor about a discharge she was having (she is 38.5 weeks pregnant)

got to the hospital by 12

watched the Bears game from a hospital room as the doc talked to my wife.

4:00 went into the OR for her newly scheduled C-section.

4:25 walked out pushing my new daughter.

Wife has had some minor complications but today things are looking up.

I can't imagine having to hold a "normal" sized baby. Both my daughters were 9+lbs and over 21" long, and they are small to me. What does a 6lb baby look like?

:grad:

 
Diet Mountain Dew said:
Yesterday had the perfect timing.11am, wife called her doctor about a discharge she was having (she is 38.5 weeks pregnant)got to the hospital by 12watched the Bears game from a hospital room as the doc talked to my wife.4:00 went into the OR for her newly scheduled C-section.4:25 walked out pushing my new daughter.Wife has had some minor complications but today things are looking up.I can't imagine having to hold a "normal" sized baby. Both my daughters were 9+lbs and over 21" long, and they are small to me. What does a 6lb baby look like? :banned:
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congrats
 
Diet Mountain Dew said:
Yesterday had the perfect timing.11am, wife called her doctor about a discharge she was having (she is 38.5 weeks pregnant)got to the hospital by 12watched the Bears game from a hospital room as the doc talked to my wife.4:00 went into the OR for her newly scheduled C-section.4:25 walked out pushing my new daughter.Wife has had some minor complications but today things are looking up.I can't imagine having to hold a "normal" sized baby. Both my daughters were 9+lbs and over 21" long, and they are small to me. What does a 6lb baby look like? :bowtie:
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My two have been 5-6 and 6-5, your 9 lb. babies freak me out.
 
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Diet Mountain Dew said:
Yesterday had the perfect timing.11am, wife called her doctor about a discharge she was having (she is 38.5 weeks pregnant)got to the hospital by 12watched the Bears game from a hospital room as the doc talked to my wife.4:00 went into the OR for her newly scheduled C-section.4:25 walked out pushing my new daughter.Wife has had some minor complications but today things are looking up.I can't imagine having to hold a "normal" sized baby. Both my daughters were 9+lbs and over 21" long, and they are small to me. What does a 6lb baby look like? :lmao:
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Congrats :lmao:I've had a 4 pounder and an almost 8 pounder...had to have clothes and a blanket on the littlest one just to cuddle him.
 
videoguy505 said:
YSR said:
jplvr said:
But who lost $100k? I'm hooked now.
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This guy
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If he was smart and hedged at -3.5, he should be fine with the $50K
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From chad millman at espn
And there is that poor guy in Delaware. You may have heard his story floating around the past couple of days, which I first read about in The Big Lead. Two weeks ago, a man walked into one of Delaware's sports books and played a $5, 15-team parlay that pays $100,000. In Week 4, he won all 14 games on his ticket. But, because there were only 14 games played, he had to choose a Week 5 game. He picked the San Francisco 49ers, who were plus-3 at home versus the Eagles. This was before Michael Vick's injury. After the news, the line then moved six points to the Niners minus-3. This is the kind of value you can't even find at Walmart in this economy. And yet, he stood to make $99,995 on his investment if the Niners could cover. This poor guy suffered through Alex Smith meltdowns, boos reigning down and Mike Singletary looking like Sybil on her worst days. Yet with a minute left, he still had a shot at that $100K. Until he was undone once more by a Smith interception. The Niners lost 27-24.

I checked with the folks at the Delaware Lottery Monday morning to get their take on how it all played out. "He played a special card for the $100K prize," said Vernon Kirk, the Lottery's principal deputy. "This is a strictly ties-lose card, and, well, he lost. But we were rooting for the guy."
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videoguy505 said:
YSR said:
jplvr said:
But who lost $100k? I'm hooked now.
Click to expand...
This guy
Click to expand...
If he was smart and hedged at -3.5, he should be fine with the $50K
Click to expand...
From Chad Millman at ESPN:
And there is that poor guy in Delaware. You may have heard his story floating around the past couple of days, which I first read about in The Big Lead. Two weeks ago, a man walked into one of Delaware's sports books and played a $5, 15-team parlay that pays $100,000. In Week 4, he won all 14 games on his ticket. But, because there were only 14 games played, he had to choose a Week 5 game. He picked the San Francisco 49ers, who were plus-3 at home versus the Eagles. This was before Michael Vick's injury. After the news, the line then moved six points to the Niners minus-3. This is the kind of value you can't even find at Walmart in this economy. And yet, he stood to make $99,995 on his investment if the Niners could cover. This poor guy suffered through Alex Smith meltdowns, boos reigning down and Mike Singletary looking like Sybil on her worst days. Yet with a minute left, he still had a shot at that $100K. Until he was undone once more by a Smith interception. The Niners lost 27-24.

I checked with the folks at the Delaware Lottery Monday morning to get their take on how it all played out. "He played a special card for the $100K prize," said Vernon Kirk, the Lottery's principal deputy. "This is a strictly ties-lose card, and, well, he lost. But we were rooting for the guy."
Click to expand...
 
Ooof. HOW do you not hedge there?! I'd have been on the first plane to Vegas and would have dropped hedged my ### off.

Unreal

 
How do we know he didn't hedge? Surely he could find some local books to place enough bets to get back some of the money. I had a similar situation and was set to hedge 30% of it, but it never got to that last step where a hedge was a guarantee. With a couple of phone calls, I'm sure he could've hedged 20% of it easily without a paper trail.

Still, if he didn't hedge, losing on a push on the last game of a 15 team parlay is bettor hell.

 
I do a Today in History thing every day in class. Sometimes it's straight-up history stuff. Other times it's something about movies, sports, music etc.

Yesterday's topic was the debut of Saturday Night Live in 1975. In one class I said something like "...and it's still on after 35 years." On kid, and he wasn't messing with me, said "It is? What night is it on?"

 
Now that the weather is finally below 94, I called in today so I could work on one of my many home projects that needs to be done - painting the garage door. Just your simple steel garage door for a two-car garage.

I'm working away on the first coat. I get down near the bottom of the left edge and out of my peripheral vision, I notice something moving over towards the right edge on teh ground. Worried it might be the drop cloth blowing in the wind, I look over and it's about a 5 foot jet black snake and it's coming at me.

I jump up using all 4 inches of my superior vertical and yell "Holy Cr@p" as loud as I can. The snake rears up off the ground, looks at me like "WTF dude, don't give me a coronary, don't you know I'm just a rat snake" and scurries back around the corner behind some bushes.

I'm proud to announce that my exclamation was done in something close to my normal voice and not like some 8 year old girl running around with her hands flailing in the air. (Although that was something akin to the way I felt.)

 
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.

I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".

So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike.

:popcorn:

:goodposting:

 
Drifter said:
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike. :unsure: :confused:
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Maybe they'll make an offer you can't refuse. :shrug:
 
Drifter said:
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike. :unsure: :confused:
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Start hiding office supplies.
 
shut it down said:
Drifter said:
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike. :unsure: :confused:
Click to expand...
Maybe they'll make an offer you can't refuse. :shrug:
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I think that's probably the other option. I just find it starnge that they wouldn't have at least called me yesterday and told me that's what was happening.They were talking about moving me to Houston into corporate sometime in the future because they've liked what I've done here in the two months I've been here.
 
Drifter said:
shut it down said:
Drifter said:
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike. :unsure: :confused:
Click to expand...
Maybe they'll make an offer you can't refuse. :shrug:
Click to expand...
I think that's probably the other option. I just find it starnge that they wouldn't have at least called me yesterday and told me that's what was happening.They were talking about moving me to Houston into corporate sometime in the future because they've liked what I've done here in the two months I've been here.
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"What can we do to keep you?"
 
Drifter said:
shut it down said:
Drifter said:
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike. :unsure: :goodposting:
Click to expand...
Maybe they'll make an offer you can't refuse. :shrug:
Click to expand...
I think that's probably the other option. I just find it starnge that they wouldn't have at least called me yesterday and told me that's what was happening.They were talking about moving me to Houston into corporate sometime in the future because they've liked what I've done here in the two months I've been here.
Click to expand...
You've only been there two months and your irreplaceable?
 
Billy Costigan Jr said:
Drifter said:
shut it down said:
Drifter said:
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike. :lmao: :goodposting:
Click to expand...
Maybe they'll make an offer you can't refuse. :shrug:
Click to expand...
I think that's probably the other option. I just find it starnge that they wouldn't have at least called me yesterday and told me that's what was happening.They were talking about moving me to Houston into corporate sometime in the future because they've liked what I've done here in the two months I've been here.
Click to expand...
You've only been there two months and your irreplaceable?
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I don't see what his irreplaceable has to do with anything.
 
Billy Costigan Jr said:
Drifter said:
shut it down said:
Drifter said:
So.... sent my resignation letter to the owners of the company yesterday. Very nice letter, expressing regret, appreciation; laying out a plan for my replacement, etc.I hear nothing back all day yesterday. This morning, I re-forwarded it and said that I wanted to make sure they had seen it and that I was surprised that they didn't call me to discuss. I get a quick reply back simply saying, "We will talk shortly".So, now I'm sitting here waiting for them to come in my door any minute and tell me to take a hike. :goodposting: :thumbup:
Click to expand...
Maybe they'll make an offer you can't refuse. :shrug:
Click to expand...
I think that's probably the other option. I just find it starnge that they wouldn't have at least called me yesterday and told me that's what was happening.They were talking about moving me to Houston into corporate sometime in the future because they've liked what I've done here in the two months I've been here.
Click to expand...
You've only been there two months and your irreplaceable?
Click to expand...
Wat
 
Just got off the phone with them. Much ado about nothing. They were very gracious and said that they were considering moving me to coporate down the road but the timing wasn't right and they completely understood my decision. The more ...."rowdy".... owner said that he'd "be coming after my ###" in about a year. I'm thinking he meant about working for them again... at least I hope so.

 
I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the winners of league 11 in the ultimate survivor contest, a five week game of skill built to crown the champion of the fantasy football world. In an FFA vs. staff matchup that was described in the FFA as an opportunity for "epic shtick", and amongst FBG staff members as "easy money", top staff members Aaron "Rude Dude" Rudnicki and David "I'm too boring to have a nickname" Yudkin were declared the early favorites in the league by at least two top FBG staff members, including Aaron "Rude Dude" Rudnicki and David "I'm too boring to have a nickname" Yudkin, who noted that fantasy football is roughly 90% skill, 10% luck. The third spot, of course, was reserved for Hoart Nipsington, who used his $0 investment in the FBG rate my team feature to get this gem:

Hoart Petterson said:
Wow. Rate My Team loving team Hoart.

QB: Drew Brees, Matt MooreRB: Knowshon Moreno, LaDainian Tomlinson, Darren Sproles, Leon Washington, Sammy Morris, Brian Westbrook, Julius Jones, Ryan TorainWR: Larry Fitzgerald, Steve Smith, Dwayne Bowe, Jabar Gaffney, Mike Williams, Lance MooreTE: Vernon Davis, Anthony Fasano, Daniel FellsPK: Ryan Longwell, John Kasay, Josh ScobeeTD: New York Jets, Cleveland BrownsOverview:We'll start by complimenting you on your strength at quarterback, running back, receiver, and tight end. As you know, it's very difficult in a competitive league to assemble a team that is strong at QB, RB, TE and WR, so just about every team will have a weakness. As you probably suspect, we perceive yours to be none.In 2010, that's pretty incredible. And in this particular case, we absolutely think you're strong enough to be one of the best fantasy teams ever. You've definitely got an insane team here, but we'd feel better if we knew we didn't have to play you.Players we particularly like on this team include Jabar Gaffney, Mike Williams, Brian Westbrook, Dwayne Bowe, Ryan Longwell, well I guess all of your players. We have all these guys ranked ahead of where they are typically being drafted.Bottom line: * With great inseason management, we think you have about a 100 percent chance of making the playoffs. * With good inseason management, we think you have about a 100 percent chance of making the playoffs. * With average inseason management, we think you have a 99 (j/k 100) percent chance of making the playoffs.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
With the staff declaring themselves the preseason winners, that left just one spot in the five week contest for the other ten of us. And we're talking about the best of the best, a group of players selected for their ability to make funny captions for photos or build venn diagrams, which is far more challenging than traditional fantasy football tests of skill like writing haiku. Beating out a field of contestants featuring Nipsey, Homer J Simpson, wilked, Idiot Boxer, Mr. Pickles, GM, tremendous upside, and yours truly is no small task. So it should be no surprise that the league was won by no small man. Congratulations to Tremendous Upside for leading the pack and continuing on to the second round. Fortunately for the FFA faithful, the staff's (and Rate My Team tool's) prognostications appeared unusually fallable. Taking the place of the highly paid FBG staff were a pair of unpaid FBG team members, as FFA Ombudsman Mr. Pickles and Vice Ombudsman bostonfred took the #2 and #3 spots. This task was made easier by GM's altruism, as two of his top three picks had early bye weeks in this five week contest. GM went on to add stalwarts such as Vincent Jackson and Antonio Bryant, neither of whom is playing football these days. At one point, we had to talk him out of drafting Roethlisberger, who was not scheduled to play a game in the first five weeks of the season. Thus, it should come as no surprise that he took the fourth and final spot in the group that progresses on to a grand prize that includes a free subscription to the rankings of the guys who couldn't beat them. Rumor has it that Rudnicki and Yudkin were recently quoted as saying that fantasy football is 90% luck, and only 10% skill.
 
bostonfred said:
I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the winners of league 11 in the ultimate survivor contest, a five week game of skill built to crown the champion of the fantasy football world. In an FFA vs. staff matchup that was described in the FFA as an opportunity for "epic shtick", and amongst FBG staff members as "easy money", top staff members Aaron "Rude Dude" Rudnicki and David "I'm too boring to have a nickname" Yudkin were declared the early favorites in the league by at least two top FBG staff members, including Aaron "Rude Dude" Rudnicki and David "I'm too boring to have a nickname" Yudkin, who noted that fantasy football is roughly 90% skill, 10% luck. The third spot, of course, was reserved for Hoart Nipsington, who used his $0 investment in the FBG rate my team feature to get this gem:

Hoart Petterson said:
Wow. Rate My Team loving team Hoart.

QB: Drew Brees, Matt MooreRB: Knowshon Moreno, LaDainian Tomlinson, Darren Sproles, Leon Washington, Sammy Morris, Brian Westbrook, Julius Jones, Ryan TorainWR: Larry Fitzgerald, Steve Smith, Dwayne Bowe, Jabar Gaffney, Mike Williams, Lance MooreTE: Vernon Davis, Anthony Fasano, Daniel FellsPK: Ryan Longwell, John Kasay, Josh ScobeeTD: New York Jets, Cleveland BrownsOverview:We'll start by complimenting you on your strength at quarterback, running back, receiver, and tight end. As you know, it's very difficult in a competitive league to assemble a team that is strong at QB, RB, TE and WR, so just about every team will have a weakness. As you probably suspect, we perceive yours to be none.In 2010, that's pretty incredible. And in this particular case, we absolutely think you're strong enough to be one of the best fantasy teams ever. You've definitely got an insane team here, but we'd feel better if we knew we didn't have to play you.Players we particularly like on this team include Jabar Gaffney, Mike Williams, Brian Westbrook, Dwayne Bowe, Ryan Longwell, well I guess all of your players. We have all these guys ranked ahead of where they are typically being drafted.Bottom line: * With great inseason management, we think you have about a 100 percent chance of making the playoffs. * With good inseason management, we think you have about a 100 percent chance of making the playoffs. * With average inseason management, we think you have a 99 (j/k 100) percent chance of making the playoffs.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
With the staff declaring themselves the preseason winners, that left just one spot in the five week contest for the other ten of us. And we're talking about the best of the best, a group of players selected for their ability to make funny captions for photos or build venn diagrams, which is far more challenging than traditional fantasy football tests of skill like writing haiku. Beating out a field of contestants featuring Nipsey, Homer J Simpson, wilked, Idiot Boxer, Mr. Pickles, GM, tremendous upside, and yours truly is no small task. So it should be no surprise that the league was won by no small man. Congratulations to Tremendous Upside for leading the pack and continuing on to the second round. Fortunately for the FFA faithful, the staff's (and Rate My Team tool's) prognostications appeared unusually fallable. Taking the place of the highly paid FBG staff were a pair of unpaid FBG team members, as FFA Ombudsman Mr. Pickles and Vice Ombudsman bostonfred took the #2 and #3 spots. This task was made easier by GM's altruism, as two of his top three picks had early bye weeks in this five week contest. GM went on to add stalwarts such as Vincent Jackson and Antonio Bryant, neither of whom is playing football these days. At one point, we had to talk him out of drafting Roethlisberger, who was not scheduled to play a game in the first five weeks of the season. Thus, it should come as no surprise that he took the fourth and final spot in the group that progresses on to a grand prize that includes a free subscription to the rankings of the guys who couldn't beat them. Rumor has it that Rudnicki and Yudkin were recently quoted as saying that fantasy football is 90% luck, and only 10% skill.
Click to expand...
What's all this now?
 
Peterson choked for me last night.

Congrats to TU, MP, BF, and GM on advancing.

condolences to Hoart.

 
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A quick review of all 12 leagues confirms my suspicion that my team was the worst of the worst. That's gonna leave a mark.

 
:lookatme:

Hey, I advanced in a QB flex league with the imposing QB trio of Matt Ryan, Kyle Orton, and David Jerrard.

:goodposting:

 
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