Flabbergasted to see no trace, no evidence of the recent Eminence/Hoot cornhole in which they raked an Indian casino so hard they were made to sign a treaty saying they'd never do it again! Guys! Let's go!!!
So there we were, it was a cold and rainy night at the Ho-Chunk Casino in Baraboo, WI. We had just gotten some some wings and cheese curds at Bronco Billy's down the road. The double Captain'n cokes were tasting good.
Em has a grand on Lions -9.5 via proxy and a few more hundred on Big Russ passing overs. He knows I hate Russ. Its 50/50 he is doing this to antagonize me, but it seems to happen 100% of the time we are with each other.
Em is in a santa hat and in a good mood. He is in the mindset of an absolute weapon and getting play from the bartender. Trouble.
Grind away on video roulette for while to pass time. Im betting 12 numbers a spin and Em is taking dramatic swings on 50/50 shots. Get a little loaded and start playing that electric craps machine where the dice bounce around in the bubble and we are betting the pass line and box cars at 30-1 a pop. Em hits them for 300 on our third pop.
2 hours left before last call and we finally head to the blackjack tables. He tells me he found the love of his life dealing the night before. We sit with a old white lady instead. There are some dudes decked out in Raiders gear betting big money at the $25 tables. We sit down and wait for the end of the next shoe. I stress to Em to follow basic strategy if these guys are betting $500 a hand and us $25 and acting in front of them.
First 5 hands are like all low cards variance is on our side getting all the good bounces. Doesnt take an autist to realize count is favorable so I up to $100 a hand and letting it ride up to $400 and then dropping back down to $100. We crush.
Then I get the tap. They want to walk us to the cage, even though theres like 45 mins left till close. I don't care, its a slight inconvenience. They want me to sign a trespass document that I cant play blackjack in a ho-chunk casino ever again along with a picture and a fingerprint. Bit of a buzzkill but i smile for the camera....hope its on an album cover some day.
I get home at like 4:30 am. Same ol' Em. What a national treasure.
