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Can we discuss pet peeves here? (13 Viewers)

mr. furley said:
yesterday my wife decided to clean her closets and donate old clothes. note that i mention closets. she has multiple. i have one. that she tried to creep in on when we moved in ("you don't need the space as much as i do! i have a lot of clothes!")

she has a mobile closet in the basement, too. plus.... i don't even know how many totes full of clothes.

one half of our bedroom is piled up with her clothes that are in totes, on top of totes, next to totes. it's just a freaking mess.

as she's cleaning, she's pulling out clothes that are TWENTY plus years old. TWENTY. at one point she pulled out a sweatshirt that she wore when we first started dating 15+ years ago and said to me "why did you let me keep this. this thing is so old and it doesn't fit anymore!"

when i told her i don't tell her what to do/not do she got mad at me for not making her clean her closets years ago. then spent the rest of the day fuming at me for allowing her problem to get so bad.

net result: wardrobe is no longer 20+ years old. it's only about 18+ years old  :shrug:  
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My wife has too many clothes as well.  I do too, admitedly, but not as much as her (my main vice is t-shirts as I have far too many and don't get rid of them when I should).  Anyway, for years, literally years, she would pile clothes on her side of the bed.  Her morning routine is to pull stuff out of the closet, try it on, decide it doesn't look good so she throws it on the bed to pull something else out.  She then builds a mountain of clothes on her side of the bed that grows until you can't walk past it anymore, and then she has to spend who knows how long sorting it through it to put stuff away, or weed out dirty clothes to throw in the laundry.

After hounding her about it she finally says she doesn't have enough room for all her clothes and if she just had more room, she would have it all put away.  We had an extra room upstairs that was an office holding a computer desk we never used, and a file cabinet, and generally attracted junk we didn't want to deal with.  I cleaned it out, got rid of the desk, relocated the file cabinet, and build a walk in closet.  Hasn't changed anything, except there are now two piles of clothes (on in our room and one in the closet).

We also switch out summer and winter clothes.  Not sure everyone does this, but I know I don't need shorts and polo's taking up space in the winter, or sweaters in the summer.  So I pull down the tubs and switch all of my clothes and it takes about an hour.  I'm ready to put everything back up.  She will pester me to pull the tubs out of the attic as soon as the first day it is nice in the spring, never mind we both know it is going to get cold again and there is still a month+ of cold weather coming.  So I do finally pull the summer clothes down on a Saturday, switch my clothes, and have my half ready to put away.  The whole weekend passes, and she hasn't touched hers, and still has two piles of clothes going.  The kitchen sure is clean though!

 
My family always had a tradition of donating something old for every new thing we bought. Never had to have a yard sale or rent a storage unit. __"Upgrade not add".

 
Bull Dozier said:
My wife has too many clothes as well.  I do too, admitedly, but not as much as her (my main vice is t-shirts as I have far too many and don't get rid of them when I should).  Anyway, for years, literally years, she would pile clothes on her side of the bed.  Her morning routine is to pull stuff out of the closet, try it on, decide it doesn't look good so she throws it on the bed to pull something else out.  She then builds a mountain of clothes on her side of the bed that grows until you can't walk past it anymore, and then she has to spend who knows how long sorting it through it to put stuff away, or weed out dirty clothes to throw in the laundry.
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woah.... THEY REALLY ARE ALL THE SAME......

 
Here's another wife one.  This certainly falls into the category of different people doing things differently, and not an "I'm right she's wrong" kind of thing.  But, since we do things differently, this one bothers me.

When she does a chore, she will do it in stages, and then those stages are never completely, so bigger tasks never get done.  For example, if we are sorting the mail that has piled up during the week, she will go through it and sort it into piles.  One pile for coupons, one pile for her stuff to sort/look through.  A pile for me.  A pile for bills.  A pile for each of the kids stuff.  Then those piles sit there and nothing happens, and the next time someone gets the mail it gets dropped on top of these organized pile and the next thing you know it is one big unsorted mess again.

Me, I will go through stuff one at a time and actually take care of it.  Coupons?  Recycle bin.  Bill?  Shredded if I paid on line.  Item for taxes?  Put it in the year end tax envelope.  Now, I might not get through the whole pile, but I actually made progress and left it better than I found it.

 
belljr said:
Its really a comedy show at this point... she complains she can't make a decision...I pick something out...she doesn't like it....she picks something out 6 months - 1 year later she doesn't like it :lol:
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We bought our house about 4 years ago.   My wife says "I looooove this house". Present day she wants to redo everything.  Everything.

She doesnt even like the layout.

I said "why dont we just move rather than redo the entire house".  She says, "ugh I hate moving.  It's so much work"............meanwhile the last two times we moved I send her and the kids to her moms for 2 days while I pack everything and move everything with a couple other guys.

 
EYLive said:
My wife always wants to know why I'm asking her a question.

Me: Do you have plans for tomorrow night?
Her: Why?

She can't just F-ing answer the question. :wall:  
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Should we cut the tree down now or wait until we redo the front steps/flower bed. Well I really like the tree but I didn't know the roots are a problem.   Wish we could get rid of the roots and keep the tree..

So .... cut it down now or wait?

 
EYLive said:
My wife always wants to know why I'm asking her a question.

Me: Do you have plans for tomorrow night?
Her: Why?

She can't just F-ing answer the question. :wall:  
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she's not wrong

my wife does this to me. when i say "no, why?" she'll answer "no reason.... i just wondered if......"

why not just say "i want to do X unless we have something else going on tomorrow"?

 
Not sure this is the place to peeve over this, but ...

My amazing lady friend, soon to be fiancé... mother of my whatever - seems to not know how to use her key fob.

We try to split the driving duties equally.

So ... apparently she doesn’t get how unlocking doors work.

Us walking to the car ... she gets in. And then I’m standing there like a jerk, wondering why it’s taking me 3 pulls on the door handle for it to open.

Every. Single. Time.

Lmao then she’s like “hey hang on I’m opening it” 

The other night it was pouring rain .. we both were debating, staying at he bar longer - or running to the car ... decided on running to the car. 

As we are running through the rain... she clicks the unlock button ... ONCE.

Does she not know that clicking the damn fob twice will open my door!?!? Or ALL THE DOORS??

I love her so much ... but damn it, double click that fob!!!

 
mr. furley said:
she's not wrong

my wife does this to me. when i say "no, why?" she'll answer "no reason.... i just wondered if......"

why not just say "i want to do X unless we have something else going on tomorrow"?
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Because that doesn't apply. I don't have an agenda, I just want to know the answer to a simple question.

 
Wife: Why is the heat BLARING this morning... thermostat says it's 64

Me: The thermostat is set to keep it at 66 so it's trying to get it there

Wife: I thought you said it's set to 63

Me: This is a programmable thermostat, you know... the kind introduced 20 years ago?  It changes during different times of the day.

Wife: I'm still confused.

 
Keerock said:
Wife: Why is the heat BLARING this morning... thermostat says it's 64

Me: The thermostat is set to keep it at 66 so it's trying to get it there

Wife: I thought you said it's set to 63

Me: This is a programmable thermostat, you know... the kind introduced 20 years ago?  It changes during different times of the day.

Wife: I'm still confused.
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Many years of trying to explain to my wife that setting the thermostat to 60 (when it is 70 in the room) does not make it cool down any faster than if you just set it to the 68 that you want it to be.

 
EYLive said:
Because that doesn't apply. I don't have an agenda, I just want to know the answer to a simple question.
Click to expand...
seems weird to ask a question when you don't care the answer :shrug:

kind of just seems like setup for an argument.  not that i disagree.. just answer the freaking question, i get it but i'd stop asking.

my wife would answer "do you have plans tomorrow night?" with some long pointless monologue about a shirt she ordered months ago, which has no relevance to the situation at hand.. and just keep talking until i've lost sight of what we even started talking about in the first place.

different approach on the wife's part but same net result. JUST ANSWER THE FREAKING QUESTION.

 
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Ray Barboni said:
Not sure this is the place to peeve over this, but ...

My amazing lady friend, soon to be fiancé... mother of my whatever - seems to not know how to use her key fob.

We try to split the driving duties equally.

So ... apparently she doesn’t get how unlocking doors work.

Us walking to the car ... she gets in. And then I’m standing there like a jerk, wondering why it’s taking me 3 pulls on the door handle for it to open.

Every. Single. Time.

Lmao then she’s like “hey hang on I’m opening it” 

The other night it was pouring rain .. we both were debating, staying at he bar longer - or running to the car ... decided on running to the car. 

As we are running through the rain... she clicks the unlock button ... ONCE.

Does she not know that clicking the damn fob twice will open my door!?!? Or ALL THE DOORS??

I love her so much ... but damn it, double click that fob!!!
Click to expand...
that's simply fobulous

 
mr. furley said:
seems weird to ask a question when you don't care the answer :shrug:

kind of just seems like setup for an argument.  not that i disagree.. just answer the freaking question, i get it but i'd stop asking.

my wife would answer "do you have plans tomorrow night?" with some long pointless monologue about a shirt she ordered months ago, which has no relevance to the situation at hand.. and just keep talking until i've lost sight of what we even started talking about in the first place.

different approach on the wife's part but same net result. JUST ANSWER THE FREAKING QUESTION.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of another pet peeve, that I'm sure most guys have about the lovely ladies in their life.  Why so many words?  If you're going to tell me a story about something that happened on a TV show you watch, you do not need to start the story about what you had for lunch, just because you happened to hear about this show from the coworker you had lunch with, and they watched the show because some guy they went to high school with works as a gaffer on a set of a different show where he met the producer for this show.  But that guy was a jerk to her in high school mainly because he was friends with the guy she was dating and she thought he was a nice guy because he was friends with her boyfriend so she set him up with her girlfriend.  The first time they went out it was a double date and everything went well but then this guy and her friend went out for a second date and he was a complete jerk to her and then her friend was upset about it so much that she cancelled plans they had one weekend which normally wasn't a big deal but they were going to go to the mall that weekend to see Tiffany do a concert and that ended up being the one they filmed one of her videos and they could have been seen in the video if this guy wouldn't have been such a jerk.

 
mr. furley said:
seems weird to ask a question when you don't care the answer :shrug:

kind of just seems like setup for an argument.  not that i disagree.. just answer the freaking question, i get it but i'd stop asking.

my wife would answer "do you have plans tomorrow night?" with some long pointless monologue about a shirt she ordered months ago, which has no relevance to the situation at hand.. and just keep talking until i've lost sight of what we even started talking about in the first place.

different approach on the wife's part but same net result. JUST ANSWER THE FREAKING QUESTION.
Click to expand...
I feel like this could be a game show

I've literally had to say so what happened to X?and she goes what do you mean

that's how this whole conversation started

 
mr. furley said:
seems weird to ask a question when you don't care the answer :shrug:

kind of just seems like setup for an argument.  not that i disagree.. just answer the freaking question, i get it but i'd stop asking.
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:confused:  Why do you assume I don't care for the answer? I want to know. That's why I asked in the first place; maybe out of curiosity or making conversation. I guess I'm just not a sneaky person in that regard so I don't know why that would lead to an argument. I guess my wife is one of those people that is suspicious for no reason.

 
ChiefD said:
The show re-capping question:

Her: What's going on with this show?

Me: I have been watching the exact amount of time as you. 

Her: You don't have to be a smart-### about it.

Me: Yes, I do. 
Click to expand...
My wife is very smart, but not smart enough to watch a show and play Marvel StrikeForce on her phone. Her constant questions about something we're both watching will eventually end in a murder-suicide.

 
EYLive said:
:confused:  Why do you assume I don't care for the answer? I want to know. That's why I asked in the first place; maybe out of curiosity or making conversation. I guess I'm just not a sneaky person in that regard so I don't know why that would lead to an argument. I guess my wife is one of those people that is suspicious for no reason.
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if you know she's going to say "why?" when you ask her an open-ended question like that but you ask it anyways and it upsets you, i'm assuming it's a passive aggressive deal. 

i'm not one for small talk though so maybe this is what normal people do?

 
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mr. furley said:
if you know she's going to say "why?" when you ask her an open-ended question like that but you ask it anyways and it upsets you, i'm assuming it's a passive aggressive deal. 

i'm not one for small talk though so maybe this is what normal people do?
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yeah, you're assuming incorrectly.

 
mr. furley said:
frankly i'm fascinated by it as it's a pet peeve of mine and i'd like some more info to help me better understand. maybe learn to better deal with it :shrug:  
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This open-ended question that the questioner does not care about happens a lot to you?  How?  

(Not schtick.)

 
Mrs. Rannous said:
This open-ended question that the questioner does not care about happens a lot to you?  How?  

(Not schtick.)
Click to expand...
it's not the open ended question so much as it is the unwillingness to answer straight forward questions.

i've all but given up asking questions because the answers are irrelevant. if he keeps asking straight forward questions, and the response is a form of roundabout answer but he keeps plugging away anyways.. i'm curious how that's working, if things are changing or if the tensions of the verbal sparring is what they're after.

if i say something like "i'm going to stop and grab a beer after work with Steve unless you had other plans. you mind or am i forgetting about something that we have going on tomorrow?" it's inevitably met by a response about something that happened at work 3 days ago, which segues into a monologue about my mother in law and a news story she saw 3 months ago that has nothing to do with the question at hand.

i'll listen patiently until it's done and respond something like "ok.. so no plans then? i'll probably be home around 7 or so"

which is usually answered by either a non-response or a "you don't have to be rude about it". 

either way... nothing has been resolved and i'm left to guess at what happens tomorrow. only to find out 90% of the time i was wrong because i didn't listen to the point of her winding tale which in her opinion was a direct response to my question if i had just listened to a series of stories & events that are in some way interconnected which have occurred over the course of our relationship.

it didn't always used to be this way and i'm certain it's my fault somehow but i haven't been able to pull it out of her. her mom is the same way so maybe it's just genetic?

 
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Bull Dozier said:
Reminds me of another pet peeve, that I'm sure most guys have about the lovely ladies in their life.  Why so many words?  If you're going to tell me a story about something that happened on a TV show you watch, you do not need to start the story about what you had for lunch, just because you happened to hear about this show from the coworker you had lunch with, and they watched the show because some guy they went to high school with works as a gaffer on a set of a different show where he met the producer for this show.  But that guy was a jerk to her in high school mainly because he was friends with the guy she was dating and she thought he was a nice guy because he was friends with her boyfriend so she set him up with her girlfriend.  The first time they went out it was a double date and everything went well but then this guy and her friend went out for a second date and he was a complete jerk to her and then her friend was upset about it so much that she cancelled plans they had one weekend which normally wasn't a big deal but they were going to go to the mall that weekend to see Tiffany do a concert and that ended up being the one they filmed one of her videos and they could have been seen in the video if this guy wouldn't have been such a jerk.
Click to expand...
Tell me she throws in at least one "Long story short...."?

 
mr. furley said:
it's not the open ended question so much as it is the unwillingness to answer straight forward questions.

i've all but given up asking questions because the answers are irrelevant. if he keeps asking straight forward questions, and the response is a form of roundabout answer but he keeps plugging away anyways.. i'm curious how that's working, if things are changing or if the tensions of the verbal sparring is what they're after.

if i say something like "i'm going to stop and grab a beer after work with Steve unless you had other plans. you mind or am i forgetting about something that we have going on tomorrow?" it's inevitably met by a response about something that happened at work 3 days ago, which segues into a monologue about my mother in law and a news story she saw 3 months ago that has nothing to do with the question at hand.

i'll listen patiently until it's done and respond something like "ok.. so no plans then? i'll probably be home around 7 or so"

which is usually answered by either a non-response or a "you don't have to be rude about it". 

either way... nothing has been resolved and i'm left to guess at what happens tomorrow. only to find out 90% of the time i was wrong because i didn't listen to the point of her winding tale which in her opinion was a direct response to my question if i had just listened to a series of stories & events that are in some way interconnected which have occurred over the course of our relationship.

it didn't always used to be this way and i'm certain it's my fault somehow but i haven't been able to pull it out of her. her mom is the same way so maybe it's just genetic?
Click to expand...
Menopause?  (And for god's sake, don't say that to her.)

 
Ray Barboni said:
Not sure this is the place to peeve over this, but ...

My amazing lady friend, soon to be fiancé... mother of my whatever - seems to not know how to use her key fob.

We try to split the driving duties equally.

So ... apparently she doesn’t get how unlocking doors work.

Us walking to the car ... she gets in. And then I’m standing there like a jerk, wondering why it’s taking me 3 pulls on the door handle for it to open.

Every. Single. Time.

Lmao then she’s like “hey hang on I’m opening it” 

The other night it was pouring rain .. we both were debating, staying at he bar longer - or running to the car ... decided on running to the car. 

As we are running through the rain... she clicks the unlock button ... ONCE.

Does she not know that clicking the damn fob twice will open my door!?!? Or ALL THE DOORS??

I love her so much ... but damn it, double click that fob!!!
Click to expand...
Check your cars owners manual..most key fobs have the ability to be easily reprogrammed to open all doors with one click.  Mine was originally set for the double click, but I changed it to all doors with one click. 

 
ghostguy123 said:
Many years of trying to explain to my wife that setting the thermostat to 60 (when it is 70 in the room) does not make it cool down any faster than if you just set it to the 68 that you want it to be.
Click to expand...
I’m convinced that women just simply will never understand this concept. I’ve given up. 

Car rides with mine are ridiculous.  Too cold...crank it up to 86.  Geez, it’s hot in here now!  Turns down to 62.  I just contemplate driving straight into a brick wall. 

 
mr. furley said:
it's not the open ended question so much as it is the unwillingness to answer straight forward questions.

i've all but given up asking questions because the answers are irrelevant. if he keeps asking straight forward questions, and the response is a form of roundabout answer but he keeps plugging away anyways.. i'm curious how that's working, if things are changing or if the tensions of the verbal sparring is what they're after.

if i say something like "i'm going to stop and grab a beer after work with Steve unless you had other plans. you mind or am i forgetting about something that we have going on tomorrow?" it's inevitably met by a response about something that happened at work 3 days ago, which segues into a monologue about my mother in law and a news story she saw 3 months ago that has nothing to do with the question at hand.

i'll listen patiently until it's done and respond something like "ok.. so no plans then? i'll probably be home around 7 or so"

which is usually answered by either a non-response or a "you don't have to be rude about it". 

either way... nothing has been resolved and i'm left to guess at what happens tomorrow. only to find out 90% of the time i was wrong because i didn't listen to the point of her winding tale which in her opinion was a direct response to my question if i had just listened to a series of stories & events that are in some way interconnected which have occurred over the course of our relationship.

it didn't always used to be this way and i'm certain it's my fault somehow but i haven't been able to pull it out of her. her mom is the same way so maybe it's just genetic?
Click to expand...
Since we are apparently married to women who were separated at birth, tell me if this happens to you.

My wife has a neverending amount of words to use in a day.  Innevitably, she will try to get a head start by using as many as she can in the morning.  I am not a morning person, and the perfect day is when we don't get up at the same time and I can get out of the house without a word said to anyone.  Anyway, she will want to start a story about something rediculous that does not matter, and she very well knows I don't care about, and her favorite time is when I'm actually about to head out the door.  She start telling me something about what she heard on her talk radio station (celebrity stuff) as I'm putting on my shoes.  I litterally cannot stop her from talking unless i "rudely" interupt her to tell her I have to leave for work.  I try to use body language to convey that I have to exit the conversation.  Standing up after my shoes are on.  Wait a few moments and put on my coat.  Wait a few moments and grab my keys and briefcase.  Wait a few moments and walk towards the door.  All the while she's still rambling about what college Aunt Becky's daughter wants to go to now.  I've opened the door and instead of getting the message she will say "just wait a second, my story's almost over."  EDIT YOURSELF WOMAN!

 
Bull Dozier said:
Since we are apparently married to women who were separated at birth, tell me if this happens to you.

My wife has a neverending amount of words to use in a day.  Innevitably, she will try to get a head start by using as many as she can in the morning.  I am not a morning person, and the perfect day is when we don't get up at the same time and I can get out of the house without a word said to anyone.  Anyway, she will want to start a story about something rediculous that does not matter, and she very well knows I don't care about, and her favorite time is when I'm actually about to head out the door.  She start telling me something about what she heard on her talk radio station (celebrity stuff) as I'm putting on my shoes.  I litterally cannot stop her from talking unless i "rudely" interupt her to tell her I have to leave for work.  I try to use body language to convey that I have to exit the conversation.  Standing up after my shoes are on.  Wait a few moments and put on my coat.  Wait a few moments and grab my keys and briefcase.  Wait a few moments and walk towards the door.  All the while she's still rambling about what college Aunt Becky's daughter wants to go to now.  I've opened the door and instead of getting the message she will say "just wait a second, my story's almost over."  EDIT YOURSELF WOMAN!
Click to expand...
The inability to relay information quickly must be something that wedding planning causes. Since pretty much every wife has this problem. 

 
Bull Dozier said:
Since we are apparently married to women who were separated at birth, tell me if this happens to you.

My wife has a neverending amount of words to use in a day.  Innevitably, she will try to get a head start by using as many as she can in the morning.  I am not a morning person, and the perfect day is when we don't get up at the same time and I can get out of the house without a word said to anyone.  Anyway, she will want to start a story about something rediculous that does not matter, and she very well knows I don't care about, and her favorite time is when I'm actually about to head out the door.  She start telling me something about what she heard on her talk radio station (celebrity stuff) as I'm putting on my shoes.  I litterally cannot stop her from talking unless i "rudely" interupt her to tell her I have to leave for work.  I try to use body language to convey that I have to exit the conversation.  Standing up after my shoes are on.  Wait a few moments and put on my coat.  Wait a few moments and grab my keys and briefcase.  Wait a few moments and walk towards the door.  All the while she's still rambling about what college Aunt Becky's daughter wants to go to now.  I've opened the door and instead of getting the message she will say "just wait a second, my story's almost over."  EDIT YOURSELF WOMAN!
Click to expand...
yes, my god yes. then she gets mad if i don't "really? oh my god, that's insane! you're kidding! how dare he?!?" to every other line.

i'm listening alright but i don't have anything to contribute to the story about her mom's new boyfriend who texts her pictures of fish  :shrug:  and i feel terrible that a woman i've never met, who was friends with her mom 30 years ago, has a kid whose cousin's friend's daughter in law was in a fender bender 2 weeks ago... but, no, i really don't. 

 
mr. furley said:
yes, my god yes. then she gets mad if i don't "really? oh my god, that's insane! you're kidding! how dare he?!?" to every other line.

i'm listening alright but i don't have anything to contribute to the story about her mom's new boyfriend who texts her pictures of fish  :shrug:  and i feel terrible that a woman i've never met, who was friends with her mom 30 years ago, has a kid whose cousin's friend's daughter in law was in a fender bender 2 weeks ago... but, no, i really don't. 
Click to expand...
Just this morning I came downstairs and my wife had her talk radio on.  She obviously was listening, but I wasn't as I was making coffee and whatnot.  Out of the blue she says something to me that is a comment about what they are talking about on the radio.  I responded "I wasn't listening to what they are talking about, so I don't really know what you are talking about, but I can tell you I know that I don't care."  That didn't stop her from getting me up to speed so I could do nothing more than nod in acknowledgement to her comment as there really was no way to engage in a conversation about the GoT finale since neither of us watch it. :shrug:

 
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