People that wear their backpack while boarding a plane. Turn to load their carry on above the seat and the backpack is hitting the person sitting on the opposite side of the isle. Then turn and grab their purse to put in the over head and their backpack smacks you again in the head.
Oh, plane people are the worst
. As soon as the attendant says "now boarding group 1: our priority members, first class, and those with small children who need extra time", everyone
jams into the boarding area. Oh, they're not going to move until their group number is called, they're just going to stand in the middle of the room
so they'll be first in line later. Meanwhile, everyone who belongs in line has to move around them.
Guess what, idiots, the plane won't take off until you're on board. You're not going to miss it. You can safely wait out of the way
and sit and avoid this whole mess and nothing bad will happen.
And don't give me crap about "but my carry-on..." because you're only allowed to carry on something that fits under the seat in front of you. Don't whine that they're going to run out of room for something you should have checked anyway.
And don't try and explain how you need to bring a baby stroller or some giant set of golf bags with you as a carry-on. Morons.
When the attendant starts the boarding process, I leave the gate
. They start 30 minutes before the gate closes. That means there's plenty of time for me to go to the bathroom, buy a sandwich to take on the plane, maybe a soda, down a quick beer, check the bookstore, basically, get anything done before boarding that I can. Then
, after everything's taken care of, I stroll to the gate and board. 9 times out of 10 I'm the last person in the line, and I walk down the jetway and the line is still there
of people waiting to board. Christ.