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Needed: New Otis (1 Viewer)

Wrigley

Wrigley

Footballguy
I've noticed a new influx of young blood here at FBGs, and figured it was time to find our new Otis 

We all have fond memories of our hero Otis banging waitresses, flight attendants, and the occasional random.  God how I miss those days 

Now our fallen hero is married, fat, eats only potatos, and lets face it....past his prime. We need to find a NEW OTIS to take us into the future(and to mostly tell us of his exploites of banging hot chicks on the random)   So all you young bucks, let's here it, we are waiting 

Requirements:(feel free to add your own)

young

handsom

well off

large hands

not afraid of long lines at circuit city

lives near lots of wimmenz 

If you think you're up for it, please fill out your application and submit it here

signed:

all the old fbgs 

 
Wrigley said:
I've noticed a new influx of young blood here at FBGs, and figured it was time to find our new Otis 

We all have fond memories of our hero Otis banging waitresses, flight attendants, and the occasional random.  God how I miss those days 

Now our fallen hero is married, fat, eats only potatos, and lets face it....past his prime. We need to find a NEW OTIS to take us into the future(and to mostly tell us of his exploites of banging hot chicks on the random)   So all you young bucks, let's here it, we are waiting 

Requirements:(feel free to add your own)

young

handsom

well off

large hands dong

not afraid of long lines at circuit city

lives near lots of wimmenz 

If you think you're up for it, please fill out your application and submit it here

signed:

all the old fbgs 
Click to expand...
Arizona Ron

 
Wrigley said:
I've noticed a new influx of young blood here at FBGs, and figured it was time to find our new Otis 

We all have fond memories of our hero Otis banging waitresses, flight attendants, and the occasional random.  God how I miss those days 

Now our fallen hero is married, fat, eats only potatos, and lets face it....past his prime. We need to find a NEW OTIS to take us into the future(and to mostly tell us of his exploites of banging hot chicks on the random)   So all you young bucks, let's here it, we are waiting 

Requirements:(feel free to add your own)

young

handsom

well off

large hands

not afraid of long lines at circuit city

lives near lots of wimmenz 

If you think you're up for it, please fill out your application and submit it here

signed:

all the old fbgs 
Click to expand...
I have a feeling if one came along, his millenialisms, immaturity (relatively speaking), and newness would not allow him to be accepted.  Even if he was giving us what we wanted.

 
Walking Boot said:
No joke, I was texting some rando from a hookup app and she offered to let me go full dentist on her.

Run away and delete the app? Or go for it? I mean, it'd be a great story, once I recovered from having my kidneys stolen.
Click to expand...
I'm really curious how that would come up in conversation.  Was it a bolt from the blue, or were you suggesting this as a turn on?  This has to be something that appeals to about .00000000001% of the population, so it seems to be a strange tactic.

 
Walking Boot said:
No joke, I was texting some rando from a hookup app and she offered to let me go full dentist on her.

Run away and delete the app? Or go for it? I mean, it'd be a great story, once I recovered from having my kidneys stolen.
Click to expand...
Unpack how this happened.

 
Walking Boot said:
No joke, I was texting some rando from a hookup app and she offered to let me go full dentist on her.

Run away and delete the app? Or go for it? I mean, it'd be a great story, once I recovered from having my kidneys stolen.
Click to expand...
It's a dude.

 
We may have to settle for an Otis v2.  Basically all the criteria you listed, but old and divorced.  That would increase our applicant pool a good bit I believe. 

 
I'm a long time Otis fan and I know it's big gloves to fill, but here's my resume to become the new Otis.

- 33-year old litigation attorney in Denver

- Recently became truly free and single for the first time in over a decade 

- Received a 9.3 rating on AmIHotorNot.com (in 2003)

- 8+ inch palm to finger span, which exceeds expected hand size based on 6'0" height 

- Engaged in sexual relations with three different women over the past three weeks

- Activated accounts on Tinder and Bumble this week and have had some early success matching and chatting with women online.  Here are three girls that initiated chat with me over the past couple days:  Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C.  I've got a date lined up with the flight attendant next week.  

- Fetish for petite, skinny blondes

- Performs own yard work 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Add to the criteria: Decent writing skills.  Without the storytelling element, he'll be a letdown

 
The Grizz said:
I'm a long time Otis fan and I know it's big gloves to fill, but here's my resume to become the new Otis.

- 33-year old litigation attorney in Denver

- Recently became truly free and single for the first time in over a decade 

- Received a 9.3 rating on AmIHotorNot.com (in 2003)

- 8+ inch palm to finger span, which exceeds expected hand size based on 6'0" height 

- Engaged in sexual relations with three different women over the past three weeks

- Activated accounts on Tinder and Bumble this week and have had some early success matching and chatting with women online.  Here are three girls that initiated chat with me over the past couple days:  Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C.  I've got a date lined up with the flight attendant next week.  

- Fetish for petite, skinny blondes

- Performs own yard work 
Click to expand...
so close

 
The Grizz said:
I'm a long time Otis fan and I know it's big gloves to fill, but here's my resume to become the new Otis.

- 33-year old litigation attorney in Denver

- Recently became truly free and single for the first time in over a decade 

- Received a 9.3 rating on AmIHotorNot.com (in 2003)

- 8+ inch palm to finger span, which exceeds expected hand size based on 6'0" height 

- Engaged in sexual relations with three different women over the past three weeks

- Activated accounts on Tinder and Bumble this week and have had some early success matching and chatting with women online.  Here are three girls that initiated chat with me over the past couple days:  Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C.  I've got a date lined up with the flight attendant next week.  

- Fetish for petite, skinny blondes

- Performs own yard work 
Click to expand...
9.3 back in aught 3 you say?

 
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I say we give this Grizz fellow a shot.  Now if he starts rambling on about Saints gear and hugs, we can just boot him from being Otisv2.0

 
Last edited by a moderator:
offdee said:
One of Otis' most memorable tales was about HBFA (Hot Blonde Flight Attendant)

This could be v2...Hot Brunette Flight Attendant
Click to expand...
As I recall he did not close that deal.  Perhaps my memory is off.  I remember something about the gaslight district in San Diego, a rose, and maybe a follow up call or two, but I don't remember him even getting to the Colonel Jessup hugs stage.  Perhaps my memory fails.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
As I recall he did not close that deal.  Perhaps my memory is off.  I remember something about the gaslight district in San Diego, a rose, and maybe a follow up call or two, but I don't remember him even getting to the Colonel Jessup hugs stage.  Perhaps my memory fails.
Click to expand...
Do we have a link to HBFA, I did not see that thread.

 
Walking Boot said:
She also expressed interest in a multiple-partner situation, so, if you ever want to fly into town and make a dream come true....

I could use an extra person nearby just to make sure she doesn't steal my kidneys anyway. You pay for the airfare and the plastic sheeting and I'll make sure she doesn't take your kidneys either.
Click to expand...
What make you think she only wants a kidney?   Is her last name Bobbitt?

 
Poke_4_Life said:
:jawdrop:  The FFA needs more  :pickle: :pickle: :pickle:  and AZ is just the man for the job.  
Click to expand...
I love Arizona Ron, but he isn't the New Otis.  He's Arizona Ron, guaranteed to soak the walls. And I like that. Otis is capable but prone to every man failure.  We can relate to him. His overspending on construction projects is our overspending. His quest for strange women of service industries is our quest.  Arizona Ron is fantasy.  

 
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The Grizz said:
I'm a long time Otis fan and I know it's big gloves to fill, but here's my resume to become the new Otis.

- 33-year old litigation attorney in Denver

- Recently became truly free and single for the first time in over a decade 

- Received a 9.3 rating on AmIHotorNot.com (in 2003)

- 8+ inch palm to finger span, which exceeds expected hand size based on 6'0" height 

- Engaged in sexual relations with three different women over the past three weeks

- Activated accounts on Tinder and Bumble this week and have had some early success matching and chatting with women online.  Here are three girls that initiated chat with me over the past couple days:  Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C.  I've got a date lined up with the flight attendant next week.  

- Fetish for petite, skinny blondes

- Performs own yard work 
Click to expand...
####### I refuse to become the third ranked attorney on this damn board.  

Oh, and go for C.  

 
Arizona Ron said:
I'm still living vicariously through myself and will start documenting again.  It's time.
Click to expand...
Nothing like the threat of a "New Otis" to get AR to step his game up. 

 
The Grizz said:
I'm a long time Otis fan and I know it's big gloves to fill, but here's my resume to become the new Otis.

- 33-year old litigation attorney in Denver

- Recently became truly free and single for the first time in over a decade 

- Received a 9.3 rating on AmIHotorNot.com (in 2003)

- 8+ inch palm to finger span, which exceeds expected hand size based on 6'0" height 

- Engaged in sexual relations with three different women over the past three weeks

- Activated accounts on Tinder and Bumble this week and have had some early success matching and chatting with women online.  Here are three girls that initiated chat with me over the past couple days:  Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C.  I've got a date lined up with the flight attendant next week.  

- Fetish for petite, skinny blondes

- Performs own yard work 
Click to expand...
Thank you. Your application has been received and is being reviewed by our staff.  

 
Nick Vermeil said:
I love Arizona Ron, but he isn't the New Otis.  He's Arizona Ron, guaranteed to soak the walls. And I like that. Otis is capable but prone to every man failure.  We can relate to him. His overspending on construction projects is our overspending. His quest for strange women of service industries is our quest.  Arizona Ron is fantasy.  
Click to expand...
I didn't mean AZ Ron to replace Otis.  I just meant the FFA needs more AZ Ron.  And a new Otis.  And a nomarriage.com guy.  And camping with Steve.

 
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