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2016 Coach Otis All-Value Team <(^v^)> (1 Viewer)

3 of my league mates have started to tap out and just quit...they know what is about to happen. I shared small passages from the Hawkscreech Premium Package, the writing was on the wall for my league mates.

 
Bankerguy said:
3 of my league mates have started to tap out and just quit...they know what is about to happen. I shared small passages from the Hawkscreech Premium Package, the writing was on the wall for my league mates.
Click to expand...
They are first now starting to tap out? You could hear the hawkscreech coming 5 weeks ago.

 
Let's check on how our fine-feathered friends are looking at the quarter-pole:

Mariota - Plunged to QB26 after two terrible stat lines in a row. Among the guys ahead of him: two rookies, a guy who's thrown nine picks in the last 12 days, and (after last night) Blaine Gabbert. Blaine Gabbert! Coach called this a "10 or 11-win Titans team" and they may hit that mark in their next 40 games or so.

Henry - Last week, DeMarco Murray got 25 carries. Derrick Henry got 9 ... snaps. Currently sitting at RB57, a mere 55 spots behind his own backfield mate. Ouch.

Ingram - RB12 despite apparently having slept with Sean Payton's daughter and losing 4 TDs to John Kuhn as a result. If not for that he'd be top 5, so let's give Coach a hit here.

Ware - Obviously Coach meant to write "before week 5" instead of "from week 5 on". Whatever - if you drafted him, you started him. And if you drafted him before the Charles injury news came out, like Coach told you to, you won games with him. Coach may be all-knowing and all-seeing, but he can't control when your leagues draft. Another hit. *hawkscreech*

Gordon - :lmao:   :bag:   :bye:   Coach himself put it best:  "Some folks say he's addicted. And he is addicted."

Thomas - Sitting at WR25 exactly. Snaps and targets climbing each week and he's outscored Cooks the past two. Like the cut of Coach's jib on this one. 

DGB - Just barely failing to crack the top 100 WRs so far. Oh, and Ertz returns to action this week to steal all the red-zone targets DGB hasn't been getting.

Moncrief - 18.40 points in his only full game of the season - that's a 294-point pace. It's a violent game they play, friends, and all he's costing you for now is an IR spot. Hold tight, keep the faith, and be rewarded. *hawkscreech*

Higbee - Four games, one catch, two yards. Somewhere a baby hawk just fell out of his nest.

Catanzaro - Sitting at PK20 before last night's game despite only 1 missed FG all season. But hey, if it encourages his owners to vote to abolish kickers in their league next year, I'll count it as a win.

At first glance, seems kinda rough. But look on the bright side, subscribers: I went out and acquired all these guys on my Madden '17 team and they're running roughshod over the league. Roughshod, I tell you!

 
Otis said:
K

  • Chandler Cantazaro
Normally we don’t do kickers in this feature.  But when we’ve got a guy who’s going to be finishing every one of David Johnson’s scoring drives; when his first name is the same as the most beloved Friends character of all time, and his last name makes him sound like an Aztec-smashing warrior; that’s when it’s time to take notice.  Especially when the guy is going off the board at K10 and the reality is that there’s really no way he finishes at anything less than the 5th highest scoring kicker in your league.  Let everyone else get out ahead to try and get a sweet kicker pick early, then, when the hysteria subsides, you double back and get CC and watch him kick perfectly straight footballs into your living room every week.

He’ll be there for you.

(When the rain starts to pour)
He'll be there for you.
(Like he’s been there before)
He'll be there for you.
('Cause you're there for him too)
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
Mariotta, michael thomas and spencer ware have all been really nice late round guys.  Ingram has been solid.  If you literally drafted nothing but these 4 you could easily have a winning record right now with any kind of waiver luck.  And with henry and moncrief theres some very real potential for late season points.  

It's probably his best list yert.  

 
bostonfred said:
Mariotta, michael thomas and spencer ware have all been really nice late round guys.  Ingram has been solid.  If you literally drafted nothing but these 4 you could easily have a winning record right now with any kind of waiver luck.  And with henry and moncrief theres some very real potential for late season points.  

It's probably his best list yert.  
Click to expand...
:hifive:

 
:popcorn:

Last years Hawk picks may have reached an all time low.  I'm anxious to see how Coach oats is going to come up with something worse.

@Otis I hitting the heart of draft season and would like to know who to avoid.  Please get your interns on this asap.

 
Otis said:
TE

  • Tyler Higbee
The City of Angels indeed.

Lots of guys work their fantasy drafts based on history.  In other words, based on stuff that already has happened.  Like, months or years ago.  I don’t know about what kinds of leagues are in vogue with the sharks these days, but unless your league is scoring based on last year’s stats, why are you playing based on last year’s stats?  We’re here to talk about the future.  2016.  And in 2016 -- regardless of what people have told you about rookie TEs not being all that worthwhile for fantasy purposes -- a refrigerator-sized hunk of man named Tyler is going to be the thing that resets history and has the nerds next year all saying “oh man, you gotta draft rookie tight ends high, they’re the best!”

Tyler Hibgee really is the best.  He’s a tremendous athlete and a man with a 6’6” 250lb frame and enormous paws that are perfect for snatching footballs out of the air over the heads of much less imposing men.  He’s your chance to get Rob Gronkowski without having to use an early pick.  

He’ll change the way the sharks think about fantasy, and conservatively he’ll finish a top 10 TE, but don’t be a damn bit surprised to have dudes shoveling offers your way by week 6 when he’s in the top 5 at that point.  

Top 10 TE
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This could be my favorite.  Higbee finished as the 65th ranked TE.  He wasn't even rosterable in 32 team flex leagues.  Does the NFL even roster 65 TEs?

 
BassNBrew said:
:popcorn:

Last years Hawk picks may have reached an all time low.  I'm anxious to see how Coach oats is going to come up with something worse.

@Otis I hitting the heart of draft season and would like to know who to avoid.  Please get your interns on this asap.
Click to expand...
Interns working double time

 
Otis said:
  • Michael Thomas
I’d be lying if I told you that we here at the Hawk’s Nest don’t have the profoundest respect for a guy with a shticky Twitter handle.  We respect and admire any and all attempts to introduce shtick into the world.  And so, yeah, we really dig @Cantguardmike

In part because we love any dude out there with balls enough, even as a rookie, to tell the world he’s coming to get them and to tell them exactly what he’s going to do to them.  But we love it even more when such a guy goes out there and ACTUALLY gets them.  It’s the same reason guys like T.O. and Chad Johnson were perennial Hawk favorites.  That’s a bad, bad man who tells you he’s going to abuse you and catch a touchdown in your face and then actually goes and abuses you and catches a touchdown in your face, under the bright lights and for the whole world to witness.

Shtick aside, @CGM is the real deal.  The guy is what Marques Colston wanted to be when he grew up.  He’s what Drew Brees always wished Colston would be.  On some rainy Sunday afternoon in New Orleans, Colston will be sitting in his living room in solitude on his BarcaLounger watching a big screen TV with the Saints game.  And he’ll be 5 or 6 Miller High Lifes into the afternoon when he’ll just start squinting his eyes while he looks at the TV, blurring his vision just enough so that it could be him out there, as he daydreams about being Mike Thomas.  He’ll retire to bed that night and think about what kind of Twitter handle he would register today if he had a chance to do it all over again and be a better version of himself.  “Why didn’t I try more shtick during my career,” he’ll wonder wistfully.

Don’t be surprised to see CGM turn in Colston+ stats year in and year out, including this season.  And don’t be surprised to see him be a holder of a number of Saints records.  He’s that good.  

Let everyone else fawn over Coleman, and Treadwell, and Doctson.  Let them rush into the store like peasants on Black Friday, tearing each other apart over a sweet deal on a 32” LCD television.  You let them fight, and then stroll in casually behind them after the rush, take Mike Thomas off the shelf, and stroll to the registers.  

You pay, you walk out, and you end up with a wide receiver who leads all Saints and leads all other rookie WRs, and you look like a calm, collected genius of the skies.

He’ll come off the board at nearly the 50th receiver, but you’ll end up with WR25 or better production.  
Click to expand...

 
All Avarian Team:

(Cardinals, Eagles 🦅 , Falcons, Ravens, Seahawks) NOTE for @Otis - none of these have an orange breast

QB - Ryan 5th Wilson 6th Wentz 8th Murray 9th Jackson 12th

WR - Julio 1st, Lockett 5th Ridley 6th Alshon 6th Kirk 7th Fitz 10th Brown 16th

RB - DJ 1st Freeman 3rd Ingram 4th Penny 7th Edmonds 15th Hill 16th

TE Ertz 2nd Hooper 9th Andrews 11th

FL Howard 8th Myles 9th

K Tucker 11th Elliott 14th Myers 16th

D Ravens 10th Eagles 16th

 
BobbyLayne said:
All Avarian Team:

(Cardinals, Eagles 🦅 , Falcons, Ravens, Seahawks) NOTE for @Otis - none of these have an orange breast

QB - Ryan 5th Wilson 6th Wentz 8th Murray 9th Jackson 12th

WR - Julio 1st, Lockett 5th Ridley 6th Alshon 6th Kirk 7th Fitz 10th Brown 16th

RB - DJ 1st Freeman 3rd Ingram 4th Penny 7th Edmonds 15th Hill 16th

TE Ertz 2nd Hooper 9th Andrews 11th

FL Howard 8th Myles 9th

K Tucker 11th Elliott 14th Myers 16th

D Ravens 10th Eagles 16th
Click to expand...
This list will come in handy in my 5-QB league where I have two 1st-round picks.  :mellow:

 
Guys, sometimes the real hawk is the guy planning two seasons ahead to take it down.  Keep that in mind.

 
Otis said:
Guys, sometimes the real hawk is the guy planning two seasons ahead to take it down.  Keep that in mind.
Click to expand...
I look forward to your prospectus on the 2021 season.

How did coach Otis know the outcome of the CBAs affects on free agency?

The eye in the sky sees all.

May you be unfettered with the droll moments as you look ahead to the future.

 
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