The fact that everyone seems so biased on defending him is telling. He could freak out at everyone on the court and there would be excuses or people defending him. 
The fact is, he's been blasted by some people with a lot more experience in these situations than you or I. I don't believe in the "toughen up sissy" blanket-type of leadership, nor do I think it works on every player. 
Do you honestly think Lebron being pissy on the bench INCREASED their chances to win?  Can anyone honestly say that with a straight face?  if you think Kobe, Jordan, magic, etc would have reacted that way, you're wrong. you have an opportunity to snap Jr out of his funk, turn to him and say "man shake it off, we got this" (which I think Jr would have reacted better to), and he didn't. korver was the only dude on the bench showing life and trying to keep his team's heads in the game. players follow their leader emotionally, and lebron looked defeated. I am shocked there are this many basketball fans that feel so strongly that lebron handled that situation well.