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A note to my coworker ... (1 Viewer)

strykerpks

Footballguy
Email received today

Good Morning,I know many of you have lost money in the vending machine when item get stuck. I know it happens quite often, I know this because I have to hear the machine get slammed back and forth sometime while on an important phone call. This needs to stop. First off that machine is not COMPANY property. If you put money in the machine and your item gets stuck please come to me and I will give you the amount of money to get your item. Please do not rock the machine anymore.Thank youLisa
Email reply from one of my dock workers
First of all it's not that serious, why don't you just tell Justin to stop while you were on the phone, second I have helped almost everybody get things out that machine maybe if people would talk to another instead of yelling more things would get done around here. We know who's the senior AC's in here and who's Managers in here if you want that respect you should give it and not try to be a VERBAL BULLY. You don't need to send a e-mail to everybody you think we didn't here about it ok we know it can't happen again. Everybody want's to be petty with complaints here just talk to that person and you might get more done.
:bag:
 

Sack-Religious

Footballguy
I'm catching up on some of the stuff I've missed in the thread.

Tufnel, is the same person who said this:

Overheard at work:

Coworker (speaking about Hooter's with zero hint of irony): "I hear their quesadillas are the B-O-M-B."

She spelled it without any stress on the spelling, just very casually. No smile, nothing.
the same person who said this?
Coworker, eating something from our potluck lunch: "I wanna know who made these, 'cause they are the be all end be!"
 

Keerock

Caveman
Dear supposedly highly educated executive -

Please continue to butcher the English language so those of us who have to hear your drivel can continue to have a good laugh at your expense.

In fact... we secretly laugh inside why you are talking to us...

Did you really never learn the word "while"?

 

texasheat

Footballguy
Dear Short Bus Passengers that work in my building,

Once the button is lit, the elevator is on it's way. It does not require one button press per passenger, and pressing it repeatedly does not kick it into overdrive.

Sincerely,

Common Sense

 

Nigel Tufnel

Footballguy
I'm catching up on some of the stuff I've missed in the thread.

Tufnel, is the same person who said this:

Overheard at work:

Coworker (speaking about Hooter's with zero hint of irony): "I hear their quesadillas are the B-O-M-B."

She spelled it without any stress on the spelling, just very casually. No smile, nothing.
the same person who said this?
Coworker, eating something from our potluck lunch: "I wanna know who made these, 'cause they are the be all end be!"
Yep.
 

Tecumseh

Footballguy
I'm catching up on some of the stuff I've missed in the thread.

Tufnel, is the same person who said this:

Overheard at work:

Coworker (speaking about Hooter's with zero hint of irony): "I hear their quesadillas are the B-O-M-B."

She spelled it without any stress on the spelling, just very casually. No smile, nothing.
the same person who said this?
Coworker, eating something from our potluck lunch: "I wanna know who made these, 'cause they are the be all end be!"
Yep.
Is it possible that you misheard "be all end be" as "b-o-m-b" or vice-versa? :hey:
 

texasheat

Footballguy
I'm catching up on some of the stuff I've missed in the thread.

Tufnel, is the same person who said this:

Overheard at work:

Coworker (speaking about Hooter's with zero hint of irony): "I hear their quesadillas are the B-O-M-B."

She spelled it without any stress on the spelling, just very casually. No smile, nothing.
the same person who said this?
Coworker, eating something from our potluck lunch: "I wanna know who made these, 'cause they are the be all end be!"
Yep.
Is it possible that you misheard "be all end be" as "b-o-m-b" or vice-versa? :tinfoilhat:
nice catch
 

Ghoti

Footballguy
Dear nasty chick that is separated from me by a paper-thin cubicle wall,

SLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

Hows about I dump that soup over your freakin' head?

Love,

Ghoti

 

SuperJohn96

RPS World Champion
Dear Boss,

Sorry I ignored your e-mail. I thought you sent it to me as a joke. I didn't realize that you thought that this:

-----Original Message-----

From: FedEx Courier [mailto:info@fedex.com]

Sent: February 4, 2009 8:19 AM

Subject: FedEx Courier

FedEx Courier®

DELIVERY OPERATIONS DEPT,

Monomarks House, 27 Old Gloucester Street, London WC1N 3AX United Kingdom.

:+447011150147(united Kingdom Office)

:+2347088405850(West Africa Office)

Hello

This is to inform you that your Email ID has qualified for the FedEx Quarterly promotion.

The management have ordered our paying bank to load your winning funds of US$750,000.00 into an ATM CARD,due to confidentiality more details are not given in this email. Contact us back with your Legal Name,Address,Phone Numbers,Age & Sex for the claim of your ATM CARD. Feel free to call any of both numbers above for further inquiries on your winnings.

You are required to send your personal details only to Donald Williams at (promodept@fedex-co.com)

SECURITY INFO:You are advised to keep your winning notification personal,so that no one will claim it on your behalf.
...could POSSIBLY be real.I also regret not realizing until AFTER the following exchange when you came to my desk.

Boss: Did you see my e-mail?

SJ96: Yeah, unreal.

Boss: That's crazy, right?

SJ96: Yeah, unfortunately, there are enough stupid people out there who fall for this type of crap.

Boss: :goodposting:

SJ96: Because it's not real. It's just spam trying to con people out of their money.

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: :mellow:

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: :mellow:

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: Oh, look, my phone is ringing. "Hello, John speaking..."

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http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dear Boss,Sorry I ignored your e-mail. I thought you sent it to me as a joke. I didn't realize that you thought that this:

-----Original Message-----From: FedEx Courier [mailto:info@fedex.com]Sent: February 4, 2009 8:19 AMSubject: FedEx CourierFedEx Courier®DELIVERY OPERATIONS DEPT,Monomarks House, 27 Old Gloucester Street, London WC1N 3AX United Kingdom.:+447011150147(united Kingdom Office):+2347088405850(West Africa Office) Hello This is to inform you that your Email ID has qualified for the FedEx Quarterly promotion.The management have ordered our paying bank to load your winning funds of US$750,000.00 into an ATM CARD,due to confidentiality more details are not given in this email. Contact us back with your Legal Name,Address,Phone Numbers,Age & Sex for the claim of your ATM CARD. Feel free to call any of both numbers above for further inquiries on your winnings.You are required to send your personal details only to Donald Williams at (promodept@fedex-co.com) SECURITY INFO:You are advised to keep your winning notification personal,so that no one will claim it on your behalf.
...could POSSIBLY be real.I also regret not realizing until AFTER the following exchange when you came to my desk.Boss: Did you see my e-mail?SJ96: Yeah, unreal.Boss: That's crazy, right?SJ96: Yeah, unfortunately, there are enough stupid people out there who fall for this type of crap.Boss: :thumbup:SJ96: Because it's not real. It's just spam trying to con people out of their money.Boss: :mellow:SJ96: :mellow:Boss: :mellow:SJ96: :mellow:Boss: :mellow:SJ96: Oh, look, my phone is ringing. "Hello, John speaking...":wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash:
No way
 

texasheat

Footballguy
Dear Boss,Sorry I ignored your e-mail. I thought you sent it to me as a joke. I didn't realize that you thought that this:

-----Original Message-----From: FedEx Courier [mailto:info@fedex.com]Sent: February 4, 2009 8:19 AMSubject: FedEx CourierFedEx Courier®DELIVERY OPERATIONS DEPT,Monomarks House, 27 Old Gloucester Street, London WC1N 3AX United Kingdom.:+447011150147(united Kingdom Office):+2347088405850(West Africa Office) Hello This is to inform you that your Email ID has qualified for the FedEx Quarterly promotion.The management have ordered our paying bank to load your winning funds of US$750,000.00 into an ATM CARD,due to confidentiality more details are not given in this email. Contact us back with your Legal Name,Address,Phone Numbers,Age & Sex for the claim of your ATM CARD. Feel free to call any of both numbers above for further inquiries on your winnings.You are required to send your personal details only to Donald Williams at (promodept@fedex-co.com) SECURITY INFO:You are advised to keep your winning notification personal,so that no one will claim it on your behalf.
...could POSSIBLY be real.I also regret not realizing until AFTER the following exchange when you came to my desk.Boss: Did you see my e-mail?SJ96: Yeah, unreal.Boss: That's crazy, right?SJ96: Yeah, unfortunately, there are enough stupid people out there who fall for this type of crap.Boss: :thumbup:SJ96: Because it's not real. It's just spam trying to con people out of their money.Boss: :mellow:SJ96: :mellow:Boss: :mellow:SJ96: :mellow:Boss: :mellow:SJ96: Oh, look, my phone is ringing. "Hello, John speaking...":wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash:
surely not.. Good Lord
 

Nigel Tufnel

Footballguy
I'm catching up on some of the stuff I've missed in the thread.

Tufnel, is the same person who said this:

Overheard at work:

Coworker (speaking about Hooter's with zero hint of irony): "I hear their quesadillas are the B-O-M-B."

She spelled it without any stress on the spelling, just very casually. No smile, nothing.
the same person who said this?
Coworker, eating something from our potluck lunch: "I wanna know who made these, 'cause they are the be all end be!"
Yep.
Is it possible that you misheard "be all end be" as "b-o-m-b" or vice-versa? :yes:
Hm. Maybe so.
 

SuperJohn96

RPS World Champion
surely not.. Good Lord
I swear it's true. Pretty much verbatum. Only way my post could be more accurate is if the smileys were just blankly staring at each other like my boss and I were at each other.He as floored by my words, and me by his.This thread is sacred to me. I wouldn't dare pollute it.Worst part is he generally has it pretty well together, and is in charge of all our Ontario locations, and I report directly to him.
 

Alias

Footballguy
hey buddy -

We know you hate your job. We can all tell when you respond to our emails with, "*shrug* whatever, don't really care much at this point..."

But was it really necessary for you to fashion the doo-rag at work?

:thumbup:

 

Socrates11

Footballguy
Dear Boss,

Sorry I ignored your e-mail. I thought you sent it to me as a joke. I didn't realize that you thought that this:

-----Original Message-----

From: FedEx Courier [mailto:info@fedex.com]

Sent: February 4, 2009 8:19 AM

Subject: FedEx Courier

FedEx Courier®

DELIVERY OPERATIONS DEPT,

Monomarks House, 27 Old Gloucester Street, London WC1N 3AX United Kingdom.

:+447011150147(united Kingdom Office)

:+2347088405850(West Africa Office)

Hello

This is to inform you that your Email ID has qualified for the FedEx Quarterly promotion.

The management have ordered our paying bank to load your winning funds of US$750,000.00 into an ATM CARD,due to confidentiality more details are not given in this email. Contact us back with your Legal Name,Address,Phone Numbers,Age & Sex for the claim of your ATM CARD. Feel free to call any of both numbers above for further inquiries on your winnings.

You are required to send your personal details only to Donald Williams at (promodept@fedex-co.com)

SECURITY INFO:You are advised to keep your winning notification personal,so that no one will claim it on your behalf.
...could POSSIBLY be real.I also regret not realizing until AFTER the following exchange when you came to my desk.

Boss: Did you see my e-mail?

SJ96: Yeah, unreal.

Boss: That's crazy, right?

SJ96: Yeah, unfortunately, there are enough stupid people out there who fall for this type of crap.

Boss: :thumbup:

SJ96: Because it's not real. It's just spam trying to con people out of their money.

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: :mellow:

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: :mellow:

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: Oh, look, my phone is ringing. "Hello, John speaking..."

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif
I'm dumbfounded. I thought stories of people that believed those emails were just a legend, myths to tell your kids to teach them lessons that there are bad people out there... :unsure:

 

SuperJohn96

RPS World Champion
Dear Boss,

Sorry I ignored your e-mail. I thought you sent it to me as a joke. I didn't realize that you thought that this:

-----Original Message-----

From: FedEx Courier [mailto:info@fedex.com]

Sent: February 4, 2009 8:19 AM

Subject: FedEx Courier

FedEx Courier®

DELIVERY OPERATIONS DEPT,

Monomarks House, 27 Old Gloucester Street, London WC1N 3AX United Kingdom.

:+447011150147(united Kingdom Office)

:+2347088405850(West Africa Office)

Hello

This is to inform you that your Email ID has qualified for the FedEx Quarterly promotion.

The management have ordered our paying bank to load your winning funds of US$750,000.00 into an ATM CARD,due to confidentiality more details are not given in this email. Contact us back with your Legal Name,Address,Phone Numbers,Age & Sex for the claim of your ATM CARD. Feel free to call any of both numbers above for further inquiries on your winnings.

You are required to send your personal details only to Donald Williams at (promodept@fedex-co.com)

SECURITY INFO:You are advised to keep your winning notification personal,so that no one will claim it on your behalf.
...could POSSIBLY be real.I also regret not realizing until AFTER the following exchange when you came to my desk.

Boss: Did you see my e-mail?

SJ96: Yeah, unreal.

Boss: That's crazy, right?

SJ96: Yeah, unfortunately, there are enough stupid people out there who fall for this type of crap.

Boss: :thumbup:

SJ96: Because it's not real. It's just spam trying to con people out of their money.

Boss: :rant:

SJ96: :eek:

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: :mellow:

Boss: :mellow:

SJ96: Oh, look, my phone is ringing. "Hello, John speaking..."

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif

http://forumimages.footballguys.com/style_...lt/wallbash.gif
I'm dumbfounded. I thought stories of people that believed those emails were just a legend, myths to tell your kids to teach them lessons that there are bad people out there... :unsure:
LOLIn hindsight, I should have told him to just pass me the info so I can take care of it for him.

 

TommyGilmore

Footballguy
I'm dumbfounded. I thought stories of people that believed those emails were just a legend, myths to tell your kids to teach them lessons that there are bad people out there...
My co-worker's friend was scammed out of $400,000 by a Nigerian scammer. When my co-worker first heard about this, she said "There's no way that this person is the same person I know. She's too smart for that. There's just no way it could be her."Today, the same co-worker sent me the following email:

TG,

Citibank just sent us an official email (see below), stating that we need to change the password on the company account. Could you take care of that for me?

Thanks.

The forwarded email was an obvious phishing scam. :thumbup:

 

TxBuckeye

Footballguy
I'm dumbfounded. I thought stories of people that believed those emails were just a legend, myths to tell your kids to teach them lessons that there are bad people out there...
My co-worker's friend was scammed out of $400,000 by a Nigerian scammer. When my co-worker first heard about this, she said "There's no way that this person is the same person I know. She's too smart for that. There's just no way it could be her."Today, the same co-worker sent me the following email:

TG,

Citibank just sent us an official email (see below), stating that we need to change the password on the company account. Could you take care of that for me?

Thanks.

The forwarded email was an obvious phishing scam. :mellow:
We just got that one too! My comment was "Do people still fall for these? Are there people this stupid actually out there in this day and age?" Guess I got my answer.
 

General Malaise

Poop Lord
I'm dumbfounded. I thought stories of people that believed those emails were just a legend, myths to tell your kids to teach them lessons that there are bad people out there...
My co-worker's friend was scammed out of $400,000 by a Nigerian scammer. When my co-worker first heard about this, she said "There's no way that this person is the same person I know. She's too smart for that. There's just no way it could be her."Today, the same co-worker sent me the following email:

TG,

Citibank just sent us an official email (see below), stating that we need to change the password on the company account. Could you take care of that for me?

Thanks.

The forwarded email was an obvious phishing scam. :goodposting:
Wasn't the lady in question a nurse or something? I think she continued to give money out to the scam artist for well over a year, cashing in her husband's retirement (unsure if she had permission or not) in the process. Local news ran a story on her.God bless Oregon.

 

Shooter McGavin

Down the middle
My co-worker's friend was scammed out of $400,000 by a Nigerian scammer.
How does one who is dumb enough to fall for one of those scams accumulate $400K? You'd think they'd have pissed it away on magic beans or something before the Nigerian scammer could get to them.
Where can I procure some of these magic beans you speak of?
PM me your SSN and bank account information, and they'll be in the mail tomorrow.
 

SuperJohn96

RPS World Champion
Dear my Wife's Boss,

My wife just called me and said that you just sent out an email to your management staff (of which my wife is a part of) saying you are going to be having leadership training seminar this SUNDAY AFTERNOON.

You also wrote that you would inform everyone who you specifically want to attend after your meeting with the trainer today sometime.

"Ummmm, yeah...ok. I'm gonna need you to come in on Sunday, mmKay?"

*&%#&%($()^%)*^%)^*$)%^ #%$%&$%$*^%$*^%*^%*^$&%#&%$)^

I told her that if she is on the list, she should tell you we already spent $120 on our tickets for Medieval times for Sunday Afternoon.

What kind of ######## Boss tells you on Friday morning you might have to work on Sunday afternoon?

AND you don't already know who specifically until after your meeting today? WTF? Are you kidding me?

#######. ########. ############.

I already know she's gonna be on the list because (a) she is new to management and (b) because we have plans that will be royally screwed.

Hatefully yours,

SJ96

------

Seriously...today sometime?

what the hell...I cant believe that's even happening. What is up with people that they think you just drop everything last minute? And by people, I mean bosses.

And she doesn't even know when her bosses meeting with the trainer is.

If I know ###### bosses, and I do from past experience...he's gonna have an afternoon meeting with the trainer, then send out the email to everyone at 3:00 pm, and be out the door and in his car home at 3:01 pm on his fine Friday afternoon so noone can complain or give a reason they cant go. just you watch.

This has to be his plan, or else he messed up giving everyone advance notice and time to make up excuses not to go.

I told her she should advance email and say that she already has tickets to something out of town, but i'm not sure if she's gonna do it.

She'll probably wait until after she is named.

 

Topes

Footballguy
Message to people who are coworkers only by virtue of working in the same building as I do, despite working for two other companies one floor below:

Your floor has it's own Men's Room. Use it. Don't come up here just because you fear offending your coworkers.

Don't make me post the sign again.

 

TheAristocrat

Footballguy
First off, this is a meeting between me and four bosses to me (my direct boss, managing partner, managing director, CIO).

1st butchered analogy:

Managing Director: Yeah, I'd rather not have everyone smoking like banshees.

TheAristocrat: Excuse me, I need clarification on that analogy.

MD: Oh, that means going all at once.

TA: Gotcha.

Not five minutes later:

MD: I mean, we all have to deal with it. And it's not going to be easy. This is pretty much the 150 pound gorilla in the room.

TA: I don't understand that one either.

MD: Well could you imagine an 150 pound gorilla???

TA: I'd outweigh the thing by fifteen pounds.

 

Wild Young Billy

A Crazy Cat
First off, this is a meeting between me and four bosses to me (my direct boss, managing partner, managing director, CIO).

1st butchered analogy:

Managing Director: Yeah, I'd rather not have everyone smoking like banshees.

TheAristocrat: Excuse me, I need clarification on that analogy.

MD: Oh, that means going all at once.

TA: Gotcha.

Not five minutes later:

MD: I mean, we all have to deal with it. And it's not going to be easy. This is pretty much the 150 pound gorilla in the room.

TA: I don't understand that one either.

MD: Well could you imagine an 150 pound gorilla???

TA: I'd outweigh the thing by fifteen pounds.
:shrug:
 
Dear Way Out of Touch Lady,

Please stop sending me non-work related emails. You suck at it. I've ignored most of them in the past but today, when you sent the 'Oliver North Warned Us About OBL Back in 1987 and Al Gore Laughed at Him' story, I couldn't let it go.

I included the link to snopes.com. Use it. Now get back to work.

 

Gamblor

Footballguy
Dear my Wife's Boss,My wife just called me and said that you just sent out an email to your management staff (of which my wife is a part of) saying you are going to be having leadership training seminar this SUNDAY AFTERNOON.You also wrote that you would inform everyone who you specifically want to attend after your meeting with the trainer today sometime."Ummmm, yeah...ok. I'm gonna need you to come in on Sunday, mmKay?"*&%#&%($()^%)*^%)^*$)%^ #%$%&$%$*^%$*^%*^%*^{:content:}amp;%#&%$)^I told her that if she is on the list, she should tell you we already spent $120 on our tickets for Medieval times for Sunday Afternoon.What kind of ######## Boss tells you on Friday morning you might have to work on Sunday afternoon?AND you don't already know who specifically until after your meeting today? WTF? Are you kidding me?#######. ########. ############.I already know she's gonna be on the list because (a) she is new to management and (b) because we have plans that will be royally screwed.Hatefully yours,SJ96------Seriously...today sometime?what the hell...I cant believe that's even happening. What is up with people that they think you just drop everything last minute? And by people, I mean bosses.And she doesn't even know when her bosses meeting with the trainer is.If I know ###### bosses, and I do from past experience...he's gonna have an afternoon meeting with the trainer, then send out the email to everyone at 3:00 pm, and be out the door and in his car home at 3:01 pm on his fine Friday afternoon so noone can complain or give a reason they cant go. just you watch.This has to be his plan, or else he messed up giving everyone advance notice and time to make up excuses not to go.I told her she should advance email and say that she already has tickets to something out of town, but i'm not sure if she's gonna do it.She'll probably wait until after she is named.
Good time for the wife to feel ill and go home early...
 

SuperJohn96

RPS World Champion
Dear my Wife's Boss,My wife just called me and said that you just sent out an email to your management staff (of which my wife is a part of) saying you are going to be having leadership training seminar this SUNDAY AFTERNOON.You also wrote that you would inform everyone who you specifically want to attend after your meeting with the trainer today sometime."Ummmm, yeah...ok. I'm gonna need you to come in on Sunday, mmKay?"*&%#&%($()^%)*^%)^*$)%^ #%$%&$%$*^%$*^%*^%*^{:content:}amp;%#&%$)^I told her that if she is on the list, she should tell you we already spent $120 on our tickets for Medieval times for Sunday Afternoon.What kind of ######## Boss tells you on Friday morning you might have to work on Sunday afternoon?AND you don't already know who specifically until after your meeting today? WTF? Are you kidding me?#######. ########. ############.I already know she's gonna be on the list because (a) she is new to management and (b) because we have plans that will be royally screwed.Hatefully yours,SJ96------Seriously...today sometime?what the hell...I cant believe that's even happening. What is up with people that they think you just drop everything last minute? And by people, I mean bosses.And she doesn't even know when her bosses meeting with the trainer is.If I know ###### bosses, and I do from past experience...he's gonna have an afternoon meeting with the trainer, then send out the email to everyone at 3:00 pm, and be out the door and in his car home at 3:01 pm on his fine Friday afternoon so noone can complain or give a reason they cant go. just you watch.This has to be his plan, or else he messed up giving everyone advance notice and time to make up excuses not to go.I told her she should advance email and say that she already has tickets to something out of town, but i'm not sure if she's gonna do it.She'll probably wait until after she is named.
Good time for the wife to feel ill and go home early...
LOL...good call.I just got off with the wife a few minutes ago and she said they are in the meeting now, and the rumour is that the training was 11-4 on Sunday afternoon.And I said: Well maybe you should go home "sick" before you find out, and don't answer their phone calls once you leave.She isn't taking my advice. :sad:
 

Thorn

Footballguy
Dear Way Out of Touch Lady,Please stop sending me non-work related emails. You suck at it. I've ignored most of them in the past but today, when you sent the 'Oliver North Warned Us About OBL Back in 1987 and Al Gore Laughed at Him' story, I couldn't let it go.I included the link to snopes.com. Use it. Now get back to work.
I did that yesterday to the "You must register your cell number to keep it out of the hands of Telemarketers" lady. I don't think she was pleased.
 
Dear Way Out of Touch Lady,Please stop sending me non-work related emails. You suck at it. I've ignored most of them in the past but today, when you sent the 'Oliver North Warned Us About OBL Back in 1987 and Al Gore Laughed at Him' story, I couldn't let it go.I included the link to snopes.com. Use it. Now get back to work.
I did that yesterday to the "You must register your cell number to keep it out of the hands of Telemarketers" lady. I don't think she was pleased.
She just responded with: "aahhh, ohhhh, I'll have to tell Marilyn! I'm glad you noticed, I had no idea!" Marilyn being someone that used to teach with us. I responded with "Typical math teachers..."
 

SuperJohn96

RPS World Champion
Dear my Wife's Boss,My wife just called me and said that you just sent out an email to your management staff (of which my wife is a part of) saying you are going to be having leadership training seminar this SUNDAY AFTERNOON.You also wrote that you would inform everyone who you specifically want to attend after your meeting with the trainer today sometime."Ummmm, yeah...ok. I'm gonna need you to come in on Sunday, mmKay?"*&%#&%($()^%)*^%)^*$)%^ #%$%&$%$*^%$*^%*^%*^{:content:}amp;%#&%$)^I told her that if she is on the list, she should tell you we already spent $120 on our tickets for Medieval times for Sunday Afternoon.What kind of ######## Boss tells you on Friday morning you might have to work on Sunday afternoon?AND you don't already know who specifically until after your meeting today? WTF? Are you kidding me?#######. ########. ############.I already know she's gonna be on the list because (a) she is new to management and (b) because we have plans that will be royally screwed.Hatefully yours,SJ96------Seriously...today sometime?what the hell...I cant believe that's even happening. What is up with people that they think you just drop everything last minute? And by people, I mean bosses.And she doesn't even know when her bosses meeting with the trainer is.If I know ###### bosses, and I do from past experience...he's gonna have an afternoon meeting with the trainer, then send out the email to everyone at 3:00 pm, and be out the door and in his car home at 3:01 pm on his fine Friday afternoon so noone can complain or give a reason they cant go. just you watch.This has to be his plan, or else he messed up giving everyone advance notice and time to make up excuses not to go.I told her she should advance email and say that she already has tickets to something out of town, but i'm not sure if she's gonna do it.She'll probably wait until after she is named.
Good time for the wife to feel ill and go home early...
LOL...good call.I just got off with the wife a few minutes ago and she said they are in the meeting now, and the rumour is that the training was 11-4 on Sunday afternoon.And I said: Well maybe you should go home "sick" before you find out, and don't answer their phone calls once you leave.She isn't taking my advice. :sad:
They ended up postponing it because they didn't think they had enough time to properly prepare for it.:blowsout:
 

avoiding injuries

Footballguy
Dear Manager,You are the biggest motivation killer I have ever encountered. It's ok to give a compliment once in a while instead of the could've, should've would've bulls*** that you spew out of your mouth every day. Everyone is waiting for you to retire, and if you don't do it soon, you will be forced to. And co-worker, You back stabbing, conieving, hidden agenda piece of ####. You are the worst person I have met in my relatively young life. There is no one on this planet I dislike being around more than you. Nobody lets their guard down when you come around because you are always looking for a way to get ahead through the destruction of others. I honestly feel bad for your husband and children. It make no sense to me how a man can love you, and even worse, procreate with you. Your genes should not be allowed to continue. The facial expressions you make cause my skin to crawl. Your voice sounds like nails on a chalk board. I have not met one person that enjoys your company or looks forward to seeing you. You are the walking black plague.
I wish no ill will on people, but I am a firm believer in karma. I left this company last September for a better job opportunity. My former manager was let go in early January and this co-worker was let go a week ago.
 

Smeagol

Footballguy
This is not work related but gym related.

Dear Guy

We're all thirsty. Don't take your sweet ### time taking a drink from the water fountain, its not you're date. Don't make out with it. And next time I'm standing in line waiting, don't take a sip, give me a dirty look and proceed on to take a second 30 second sip. I will bash your head into the fountain next time.

Dear Lady

I don't care if your wearing tight shorts and sticking your ### out like a rooster. Please don't do your 25 minute warmup stretches two feet away from the free weights. I don't want to maneuver around you every two minutes.

 

Cunk

Footballguy
Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it. :lmao:

 

SuperJohn96

RPS World Champion
Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it. :lmao:
wat
 

Topes

Footballguy
Dear Payroll: I've been doing direct deposit for almost 12 years now. I like direct deposit. I can set up what money goes to what bills ahead of time and not have to write checks. So why, when I opened this week's check stub, is my paycheck attached? Then after a few "What... the... ???" moments I check my previous paystub from the last pay period 2 weeks ago. Another check. When I called you and you informed me that "Well, you ended your direct deposit on... " why were you so astonished when I replied "The hell I did! I've never signed anything!" And if you chose to end my direct deposit unilaterally, maybe because a wheel of cheese spun on its own somewhere in Vrmont, why did you not have THE COMMON ####### COURTESY TO TELL ME!!!! So yes, I am more than a little furious, as you also didn't have the common ####### courtesy to end my direct withdrawals so the bills are still coming in. This would probably explain the bounced check notices that are undoubtedly in the mail. Which will be forwarded to your office to pay. The sole reason I did not walk upstairs to "discuss" it with you personally is that I like my job, or at least the paychecks. When they go where they're supposed to.Bakesp.s. You could probably screw up a wet dream about a free lunch if you weren't so busy making policy unilaterally while staring out the window at the squirrels eating nuts off the statue's head.
I am the sole surviving computer guy at my company. I am the only person in the company who gets a paper check.I get harrassed for being a luddite for not doing direct deposit. Well, similar deal happened to me at a prior job. Bottom line is that I don't trust the rocket surgeons in HR with my money.
 

bakes

I am the Beer God!
Topes said:
Dear Payroll: I've been doing direct deposit for almost 12 years now. I like direct deposit. I can set up what money goes to what bills ahead of time and not have to write checks. So why, when I opened this week's check stub, is my paycheck attached? Then after a few "What... the... ???" moments I check my previous paystub from the last pay period 2 weeks ago. Another check. When I called you and you informed me that "Well, you ended your direct deposit on... " why were you so astonished when I replied "The hell I did! I've never signed anything!" And if you chose to end my direct deposit unilaterally, maybe because a wheel of cheese spun on its own somewhere in Vrmont, why did you not have THE COMMON ####### COURTESY TO TELL ME!!!! So yes, I am more than a little furious, as you also didn't have the common ####### courtesy to end my direct withdrawals so the bills are still coming in. This would probably explain the bounced check notices that are undoubtedly in the mail. Which will be forwarded to your office to pay. The sole reason I did not walk upstairs to "discuss" it with you personally is that I like my job, or at least the paychecks. When they go where they're supposed to.Bakesp.s. You could probably screw up a wet dream about a free lunch if you weren't so busy making policy unilaterally while staring out the window at the squirrels eating nuts off the statue's head.
I am the sole surviving computer guy at my company. I am the only person in the company who gets a paper check.I get harrassed for being a luddite for not doing direct deposit. Well, similar deal happened to me at a prior job. Bottom line is that I don't trust the rocket surgeons in HR with my money.
I cannot blame you. At all.The way our setup works (I work for a state agency), the account disbursions go directly from the comptroller's office into the credit union account, and no rocket surgeons ever touch the money. Unless they hire someone with the same name as you and then they pull their unavoidable shenanigans. :thumbup:
 

Cunk

Footballguy
Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it. :thumbup:
wat
Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

 

Nigel Tufnel

Footballguy
Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it. :thumbup:
wat
Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.
People haven't heard of this?
 

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