A note to my coworker ... (1 Viewer)

[WampusCat43]

Co-worker: "Then we have to document the process once the system goes productional."

From Urban Dictionary:

1. productional

A uselessly redundant variation of the word production.

Mainly used by corporate drones trying to sound intelligent, and failing ever so horribly.

That server has been productional for weeks.

 

[Gamblor]

Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it.

wat

Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

People haven't heard of this?

people have, superjohn hasnt

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it.

wat

Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

There are people haven't heard of this?

people have, superjohn hasnt

Edited for clarity.

 

[SuperJohn96]

Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it.

wat

Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

There are people haven't heard of this?

people have, superjohn hasnt

Edited for clarity.

:woosh:You people are no better than the morons I work with sometimes.

I know what 'thrown under the bus' means.

I was highlighting the fact that a husband ratted out his wife to his underling.

I could never imagine telling somebody who reports to me bad things about my own wife.

Of course, my wife would never behave in that fashion in the first place.

 

[jmp]

Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it.

wat

Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

People haven't heard of this?

It is so overused in my office that it no longer really carries a negative connotation. My boss will say to me "In the meeting today I threw you under the bus" and all he means is that he is assigning a new project to me. Him:

Me:

 

[Running with scissors]

First off, this is a meeting between me and four bosses to me (my direct boss, managing partner, managing director, CIO).

1st butchered analogy:

Managing Director: Yeah, I'd rather not have everyone smoking like banshees.

TheAristocrat: Excuse me, I need clarification on that analogy.

MD: Oh, that means going all at once.

TA: Gotcha.

Not five minutes later:

MD: I mean, we all have to deal with it. And it's not going to be easy. This is pretty much the 150 pound gorilla in the room.

TA: I don't understand that one either.

MD: Well could you imagine an 150 pound gorilla???

TA: I'd outweigh the thing by fifteen pounds.

 

[L5UT1ger]

Overheard at work today:

You know, I just think he messed up. That happens sometimes, you know, sometimes things just fall through the hoops.

 

[Cunk]

Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it.

wat

Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

There are people haven't heard of this?

people have, superjohn hasnt

Edited for clarity.

:woosh:You people are no better than the morons I work with sometimes.

I know what 'thrown under the bus' means.

I was highlighting the fact that a husband ratted out his wife to his underling.

I could never imagine telling somebody who reports to me bad things about my own wife.

Of course, my wife would never behave in that fashion in the first place.

Sorry, maybe it wasn't clear. My former boss' wife ratted me out to my current boss. No harm done.

 

[Jobber]

Dear Bored Directors,

Thank you for standing around comparing your ringtones right on the other side of my cube wall. I very much enjoyed, and am in awe of your Raiders of the Lost Arc, Jimi Hendrix & Stairway to Heaven ringtones.

I got one for ya...it's called "vibrate" mother******.

 

[SKribbles]

Dear Complete ####en Moron,

Quit ####en calling. You asked me to change your username. I did. I then told you to log in yesterday. You did. Now you've called me 5 times today asking what your new username is? IT IS YOUR ### #### NAME.

 

[texasheat]

Dear Complete ####en Moron,Quit ####en calling. You asked me to change your username. I did. I then told you to log in yesterday. You did. Now you've called me 5 times today asking what your new username is? IT IS YOUR ### #### NAME.

sorry I tried ### #### NAME but it's not taking it.... can you reset my password?

 

[SKribbles]

Dear Complete ####en Moron,Quit ####en calling. You asked me to change your username. I did. I then told you to log in yesterday. You did. Now you've called me 5 times today asking what your new username is? IT IS YOUR ### #### NAME.

sorry I tried ### #### NAME but it's not taking it.... can you reset my password?

He just twice while I was on another call and didn't leave a message. For being such a ####en idiot he gets to spend the weekend without email.

 

[Topes]

That's not too far from the truth. I routinely hear "This said that there was an error and that it needs to restart, should I restart?"

Don't get me started on people who lie, and say that they already restarted. (Because restarting these XP boxes takes all of ninety seconds, and is so very difficult.)I have access tot he DHCP logs.

Why must you turn my office into a den of lies!?!?

And don't get me started on all your ridiculous expectations that every time you see an error box there must be a problem with your computer that needs to be fixed. Most of the time, it's you that's the problem. Do you not remember Windows 98? When I had to reload each and every computer from scratch (well, from image) at least once a year, because it had Microsoft Arthritis? There was a problem. It is gone. Your computer has no ongoing syndrome. I'm not blowing you off. I'm ignoring you.

 

[Steel Dillo]

Dear Manaic Depressive Marketing Director,

Remember when I came here & you were working for me? Remember when the company was going to eliminate your job and I petitioned for you to get the vacant Marketing Director position?

Obviously not because you try to throw me (along with everyone else) under bus every time something goes wrong with one of your silly little events.

And BTW, no one cares that you are buddies with the corporate marketing director. In fact, you say her name so often that the whole office has created a game based on how many times you say Ruth in our weekly meeting. To get me through the meeting with my sanity intact, in my mind I replace Ruth's name with "My big hairy #### (see you next tuesday)" every time you say it.

 

[Psychopav]

Dear Complete ####en Moron,Quit ####en calling. You asked me to change your username. I did. I then told you to log in yesterday. You did. Now you've called me 5 times today asking what your new username is? IT IS YOUR ### #### NAME.

sorry I tried ### #### NAME but it's not taking it.... can you reset my password?

OMG this was hilarious!

 

[perry147]

Dear idiot coworker and office mate.

You are a pretentious clod and the most ignorant and repulsive human being I have ever been around. I have more in common with a %$^# Lebanese goat that you moreover the goat can program better than you. The discussion this morning on the implications of foreign manufacturing on our business had nothing to do with politics; however like any other subject in the world that is discussed you immediately turn it into a Obama bashing/right wing nutcase/anti-environmental diatribe spewing idiotic nonsense. I can see now how you have been getting laid off everywhere you go. I will now clue you in.

1. You have a freaking Bachelors Degree in CS and a MBA also have 10 more years experience than me but we work at the same 'type" job.

Reason: My four year old niece has more mental range than you.

Example: When you sent me this code today:

If dlFunction.Text = "Manage Casting Schedule" Then

If User = "tryrer" Or User = "tert" Or User = "ettetet" Then

GoTo CONT1

Else

Say("You are not authorized to proceed")

Exit Sub

End If

CONT1:

lblSelectDate1.Visible = True

cal1.Visible = True

End If

And did not know what CONT1: was. I thought you were joking. It turns out I was wrong again. The same thing with the sql code and not understanding a case statement. Anyone with a month of working around VB and SQL code would know these things.

2. Act like an mature adult.

Reason: Dogs are not people.

Example: I do not want to hear about your dogs and what they did that weekend. This is the reason you are 45 and not married.

PS: I like dogs also but your life needs to evolve into something outside of them.

3. Learn to separate fact from fiction. Ideas are fine but you need facts to back it up.

Too numerous to list.

 

[zander_s]

Dear idiot coworker and office mate.

You are a pretentious clod and the most ignorant and repulsive human being I have ever been around. I have more in common with a %$^# Lebanese goat that you moreover the goat can program better than you. The discussion this morning on the implications of foreign manufacturing on our business had nothing to do with politics; however like any other subject in the world that is discussed you immediately turn it into a Obama bashing/right wing nutcase/anti-environmental diatribe spewing idiotic nonsense. I can see now how you have been getting laid off everywhere you go. I will now clue you in.

1. You have a freaking Bachelors Degree in CS and a MBA also have 10 more years experience than me but we work at the same 'type" job.

Reason: My four year old niece has more mental range than you.

Example: When you sent me this code today:

If dlFunction.Text = "Manage Casting Schedule" Then

If User = "tryrer" Or User = "tert" Or User = "ettetet" Then

GoTo CONT1

Else

Say("You are not authorized to proceed")

Exit Sub

End If

CONT1:

lblSelectDate1.Visible = True

cal1.Visible = True

End If

And did not know what CONT1: was. I thought you were joking. It turns out I was wrong again. The same thing with the sql code and not understanding a case statement. Anyone with a month of working around VB and SQL code would know these things.

2. Act like an mature adult.

Reason: Dogs are not people.

Example: I do not want to hear about your dogs and what they did that weekend. This is the reason you are 45 and not married.

PS: I like dogs also but your life needs to evolve into something outside of them.

3. Learn to separate fact from fiction. Ideas are fine but you need facts to back it up.

Too numerous to list.

Oh my!

 

[perry147]

Dear idiot coworker and office mate.

You are a pretentious clod and the most ignorant and repulsive human being I have ever been around. I have more in common with a %$^# Lebanese goat that you moreover the goat can program better than you. The discussion this morning on the implications of foreign manufacturing on our business had nothing to do with politics; however like any other subject in the world that is discussed you immediately turn it into a Obama bashing/right wing nutcase/anti-environmental diatribe spewing idiotic nonsense. I can see now how you have been getting laid off everywhere you go. I will now clue you in.

1. You have a freaking Bachelors Degree in CS and a MBA also have 10 more years experience than me but we work at the same 'type" job.

Reason: My four year old niece has more mental range than you.

Example: When you sent me this code today:

If dlFunction.Text = "Manage Casting Schedule" Then

If User = "tryrer" Or User = "tert" Or User = "ettetet" Then

GoTo CONT1

Else

Say("You are not authorized to proceed")

Exit Sub

End If

CONT1:

lblSelectDate1.Visible = True

cal1.Visible = True

End If

And did not know what CONT1: was. I thought you were joking. It turns out I was wrong again. The same thing with the sql code and not understanding a case statement. Anyone with a month of working around VB and SQL code would know these things.

2. Act like an mature adult.

Reason: Dogs are not people.

Example: I do not want to hear about your dogs and what they did that weekend. This is the reason you are 45 and not married.

PS: I like dogs also but your life needs to evolve into something outside of them.

3. Learn to separate fact from fiction. Ideas are fine but you need facts to back it up.

Too numerous to list.

Oh my!

Seriously , is that not absurd? He has a MBA and is a CS major!!!!!!!!

 

[zander_s]

Dear idiot coworker and office mate.

You are a pretentious clod and the most ignorant and repulsive human being I have ever been around. I have more in common with a %$^# Lebanese goat that you moreover the goat can program better than you. The discussion this morning on the implications of foreign manufacturing on our business had nothing to do with politics; however like any other subject in the world that is discussed you immediately turn it into a Obama bashing/right wing nutcase/anti-environmental diatribe spewing idiotic nonsense. I can see now how you have been getting laid off everywhere you go. I will now clue you in.

1. You have a freaking Bachelors Degree in CS and a MBA also have 10 more years experience than me but we work at the same 'type" job.

Reason: My four year old niece has more mental range than you.

Example: When you sent me this code today:

If dlFunction.Text = "Manage Casting Schedule" Then

If User = "tryrer" Or User = "tert" Or User = "ettetet" Then

GoTo CONT1

Else

Say("You are not authorized to proceed")

Exit Sub

End If

CONT1:

lblSelectDate1.Visible = True

cal1.Visible = True

End If

And did not know what CONT1: was. I thought you were joking. It turns out I was wrong again. The same thing with the sql code and not understanding a case statement. Anyone with a month of working around VB and SQL code would know these things.

2. Act like an mature adult.

Reason: Dogs are not people.

Example: I do not want to hear about your dogs and what they did that weekend. This is the reason you are 45 and not married.

PS: I like dogs also but your life needs to evolve into something outside of them.

3. Learn to separate fact from fiction. Ideas are fine but you need facts to back it up.

Too numerous to list.

Oh my!

Seriously , is that not absurd? He has a MBA and is a CS major!!!!!!!!

He's not much of a CS Major!!Unless thats Costatntly Stupid Major!

 

[Topes]

Hey Everybody,If you want to talk to me on the telephone, please call me. My phone is not broken, and the line is not busy.

[2:17:41 PM] <1762 - Wendy> HI[2:18:06 PM] <1762 - Wendy> Can u call me please 516-555-7600 ext 7332

This is sickeningly lazy and heinously wrong. You need to reach me for something, but you feel the need to throw the ball into my court before you even tell me what the freaking ball IS!You're not the only one.STOP!

 

[Disco Stu]

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

Again? Really???

Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

 

[TommyGilmore]

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

Again? Really???

Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

Your yearly review seems to occur sooner every year.

 

[Disco Stu]

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

Again? Really???

Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

Your yearly review seems to occur sooner every year.

Yeah, I don't know what the deal is with that. Unfortunately the yearly raise seems to occur later every year. Annoying, but I can appreciate the genius.

 

[chet]

First off, this is a meeting between me and four bosses to me (my direct boss, managing partner, managing director, CIO).

1st butchered analogy:

Managing Director: Yeah, I'd rather not have everyone smoking like banshees.

TheAristocrat: Excuse me, I need clarification on that analogy.

MD: Oh, that means going all at once.

TA: Gotcha.

Not five minutes later:

MD: I mean, we all have to deal with it. And it's not going to be easy. This is pretty much the 150 pound gorilla in the room.

TA: I don't understand that one either.

MD: Well could you imagine an 150 pound gorilla???

TA: I'd outweigh the thing by fifteen pounds.

One of my favourite posts in the thread.

 

[pricklypete]

Topes,

Edit your post.

Don't want you to get wheelhoused.

 

[texasheat]

Topes,Edit your post.Don't want you to get wheelhoused.

b/c he posted a 555 number?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

Again? Really??? :(

Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

Look at me..

 

[Shooter McGavin]

Hey ####face,

Thanks for doing your conference all at your desk. None the people around you find it the least bit distracting. The way you are screaming into the microphone is a nice touch.

Wishing you well in your quest to understand amplified sound,

SM

 

[SuperJohn96]

Overheard at work:

Danny: Hey Phyllis, what does "unwavering" mean?

Phyllis: It means you are steady or consistent. You never wave.

 

[SuperJohn96]

Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it.

wat

Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

There are people haven't heard of this?

people have, superjohn hasnt

Edited for clarity.

:woosh:You people are no better than the morons I work with sometimes.

I know what 'thrown under the bus' means.

I was highlighting the fact that a husband ratted out his wife to his underling.

I could never imagine telling somebody who reports to me bad things about my own wife.

Of course, my wife would never behave in that fashion in the first place.

Sorry, maybe it wasn't clear. My former boss' wife ratted me out to my current boss. No harm done.

LOL...just saw this. I always thought she was the wife of your current boss .

 

[george]

Background:J has 2 college degrees and has worked in education field 35 years. R has 4 degrees, including a PhD.Overheard at work.

J: Look what this teacher wrote, "Inane". Is that even a word? I can't believe she wrote that in a report.R: I've never heard of it. Maybe she meant insane conversation.

 

[Mrs. BSR]

Background:J has 2 college degrees and has worked in education field 35 years. R has 4 degrees, including a PhD.Overheard at work.

J: Look what this teacher wrote, "Inane". Is that even a word? I can't believe she wrote that in a report.R: I've never heard of it. Maybe she meant insane conversation.

That is sad.

 

[HoldSteady]

Background:J has 2 college degrees and has worked in education field 35 years. R has 4 degrees, including a PhD.Overheard at work.

J: Look what this teacher wrote, "Inane". Is that even a word? I can't believe she wrote that in a report.R: I've never heard of it. Maybe she meant insane conversation.

That is sad.

Pretty much par for the course, as far as teachers go, IMO.

 

[Mr Capicollo]

Dear former bosses' wife,

I've #####ed about you many times on this board and since you are working as a freelancer now and just finishing up this last project, soon the day will end when I have to work with you again. What you don't realize is that my boss forwarded me an email in which you threw me under the bus. He forwarded it to me because he knows what b.s. it is. You lack any competence but you think you are pulling the wool over peoples eyes by acting as if you did know what you are talking about. So when you email me and put a smiley face in there just realize that I know how pathetic and idiotic you are and I'm not going to save your ### any more. You or your husband who I've been saving for more than 5 years now. You sent that email after he questioned why you were billing him when a project wasn't done yet. You struck back blaming me for every little thing that has gone wrong when, in fact, I've been the only one holding this damned project together because you can't.

BTW, nice timing of that email. About 2 weeks after we had 6 good people get laid off and everyone is worried about their jobs you do this. I know the first thing you and your husband do is look who to point the finger at when something goes wrong but now? Now when this project is in its 3rd year and you've only got about 2 weeks of it left? You couldn't have just put your backstabbing ways in your back pocket for 2 weeks? Nice character there. But it doesn't surprise me.

I can't wait until you and your husband want me to do work for you on the side an I refuse. I really can't wait for that day. I told my boss I would never mention the email you wrote to you and I'm going to keep that promise. But you just burned a bridge #####. And you don't even know it.

wat

Form Urban Dictionary:throw under the bus

One is thrown under the bus when they are made the scapegoat or blamed for something that wasn't their responsibility in the first place. A coverup for your mistake.

People haven't heard of this?

people have, superjohn hasnt

He's Canadian. "Threw him under the lorrie" maybe?

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

Background:J has 2 college degrees and has worked in education field 35 years. R has 4 degrees, including a PhD.Overheard at work.

J: Look what this teacher wrote, "Inane". Is that even a word? I can't believe she wrote that in a report.R: I've never heard of it. Maybe she meant insane conversation.

That is sad.

Pretty much par for the course, as far as teachers go, IMO.

OK

 

[Mr Capicollo]

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

Again? Really???

Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

Are you sure you weren't (mistakenly?) hired as part of the company's give-back-to-the-community program where they hire the mentally disabled or something? Are you getting bonuses in the form of juice boxes or something?

 

[belljr]

Dear idiot coworker and office mate.

You are a pretentious clod and the most ignorant and repulsive human being I have ever been around. I have more in common with a %$^# Lebanese goat that you moreover the goat can program better than you. The discussion this morning on the implications of foreign manufacturing on our business had nothing to do with politics; however like any other subject in the world that is discussed you immediately turn it into a Obama bashing/right wing nutcase/anti-environmental diatribe spewing idiotic nonsense. I can see now how you have been getting laid off everywhere you go. I will now clue you in.

1. You have a freaking Bachelors Degree in CS and a MBA also have 10 more years experience than me but we work at the same 'type" job.

Reason: My four year old niece has more mental range than you.

Example: When you sent me this code today:

If dlFunction.Text = "Manage Casting Schedule" Then

If User = "tryrer" Or User = "tert" Or User = "ettetet" Then

GoTo CONT1

Else

Say("You are not authorized to proceed")

Exit Sub

End If

CONT1:

lblSelectDate1.Visible = True

cal1.Visible = True

End If

And did not know what CONT1: was. I thought you were joking. It turns out I was wrong again. The same thing with the sql code and not understanding a case statement. Anyone with a month of working around VB and SQL code would know these things.

This reminds me of a time when I first started at my current company, some dude was there forever and I was new.Anyway I built something in one of our clients (real basic cbl program :X ) that we took part of the code and put into another program for it run. Worked great, everyone happy. A week later Manager and guy have a meeting with me, can I send the code to the guy, he wants to put it in a client that he works on ( it was requested).

Me: Sure no problem, all you have to do is take this snippet of code and put it in program X. You don't have to do anything special but compile the program.

Him: Great thanks.

About 1-2 weeks go by and my manager comes to me. Can you look at "guys" code, he said it's not working.

me: sure, no problem.

I look at the code and I have no idea WTF he did. He said I tried to do A, B, C to make it do this, that and the other thing.

me: Oh, they wanted it changed?

guy: No, I just wanted to code it in there.

me: All you had to do was copy and paste my email.

guy: It didn't work

me: Takes code, copies it program, compile, runs fine.

guy:

Me: Should be good to go.

guy: Thanks...

Manager took me out to lunch

 

[Papa Georgio]

Dear "I know the best way to do everything on Earth" boss, and "I've only been here 4 months and I think I can question everything you do" boss,

Guys I am by far the most successful employee you have (and it isn't even close, ha). How about you show a little appreciation once in a while? I also do all the crap jobs that the little butt kissers won't do. I am sorry I don't stroke you everytime you walk into a room. I chose to do my job and to treat you in the exact manner in which you treat me. Let me know how the guy that replaces me does and if he/she is even close to what I have accomplished I will come back and kiss you both right in the middle of your butt.

Oh and Ace....my fantasy football team is better than yours every year!

 

[joffer]

Dear guy talking at the top of his lungs in the cube next to me....####.

 

[shuke]

Dear guy talking at the top of his lungs in the cube next to me....####.

Just coming in here to type the same exact thing.

 

[SKribbles]

Dear fat ### who I've written to many times in here,

You do not have to come and check every time you send me an email. Hell, the majority of the time, you show up at my desk before your gawd damn email does. I know you think I might make conversation with you if you stand at my door long enough. I won't. You should know this by now. I've worked here almost 2 years and not once have I attempted to talk to you about non work related matters. Yet, you still stand stand at my door for at least 10 seconds after our work conversation ends. Me staring directly at my monitor and typing away means I am trying to ignore you. GO AWAY.

 

[Wild Young Billy]

Dear lady in the office down the hall,

When the hell did your ### get so big!!

WYB

 

[Disco Stu]

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

Again? Really???

Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

Are you sure you weren't (mistakenly?) hired as part of the company's give-back-to-the-community program where they hire the mentally disabled or something? Are you getting bonuses in the form of juice boxes or something?

This is a strong possibility.

 

[B-Deep]

Dear guy talking at the top of his lungs in the cube next to me....####.

that's what she said

 

[B-Deep]

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

Again? Really???

Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

Are you sure you weren't (mistakenly?) hired as part of the company's give-back-to-the-community program where they hire the mentally disabled or something? Are you getting bonuses in the form of juice boxes or something?

This is a strong possibility.

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndthat's what she said too

 

[the rover]

Dear Managing Partner:

Forwarding every email you get to me unread with a message saying "please handle" while you are off on a retreat with your church buddies is not managing. If you'd bothered to read the attachments to those emails, you'd see one was a letter firing us because they could never reach you and the other was accusing you of malpractice. I'm not sure how you would like me to handle those, but they aren't my cases and my name isn't on the door.

Thanks a bunch.

 

[zander_s]

Dear Managing Partner:

Forwarding every email you get to me unread with a message saying "please handle" while you are off on a retreat with your church buddies is not managing. If you'd bothered to read the attachments to those emails, you'd see one was a letter firing us because they could never reach you and the other was accusing you of malpractice. I'm not sure how you would like me to handle those, but they aren't my cases and my name isn't on the door.

Thanks a bunch.

WOW!

 

[HoldSteady]

Dear Managing Partner:Forwarding every email you get to me unread with a message saying "please handle" while you are off on a retreat with your church buddies is not managing. If you'd bothered to read the attachments to those emails, you'd see one was a letter firing us because they could never reach you and the other was accusing you of malpractice. I'm not sure how you would like me to handle those, but they aren't my cases and my name isn't on the door.Thanks a bunch.

 

[bakes]

Dear Managing Partner:Forwarding every email you get to me unread with a message saying "please handle" while you are off on a retreat with your church buddies is not managing. If you'd bothered to read the attachments to those emails, you'd see one was a letter firing us because they could never reach you and the other was accusing you of malpractice. I'm not sure how you would like me to handle those, but they aren't my cases and my name isn't on the door.Thanks a bunch.

DAMN!!!

 

[bakes]

Dear Dynamic Duo Sitting Across From Me At The Meeting Table:

I cannot stop imagining what the child would look like if you two mated. One of you looks like someone took a potato, put designer glasses on it, and placed it on a golf tee while the other looks like a mosquito wearing 20/400 glasses for that extra bug-eyed look with a cow catcher for a chin and a $100 reverse mullet haircut. Putting your two mugs into that "what the baby would look like" software would cause their server to instantaneously combust.

Whatever that mutant offspring looks like, I pray it takes after the golf potato, who at least seems cool, as opposed to Ms. Mosquitofacecowcatcher's irritatingly chirpy know-it-all attitude.

Thanks!

me.