A note to my coworker ... (1 Viewer)

[igbomb]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Where is Kevin supposed to heat his food then?

 

[Keerock]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Where is Kevin supposed to heat his food then?

#### Kevin and his mahi mahi, imo

I'll trade the Indian and Chinese leftover buffet that makes it's way into the office microwave every day for Kevin's fish.

Curry... I hate the smell of friggin' curry. :X

 

[El Floppo]

say, that reminds me...

fish curry for lunch.

 

[Amused to Death]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Where is Kevin supposed to heat his food then?

#### Kevin and his mahi mahi, imo

I'll trade the Indian and Chinese leftover buffet that makes it's way into the office microwave every day for Kevin's fish.

Curry... I hate the smell of friggin' curry. :X

I'll take the Chinese over the fish any day. The fish freakin' reeks and lingers all day.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Nothing is worse than the smell of those fake microwavable egg whites.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Poor Kevin. He just wants to eat food. :(

 

[igbomb]

My name isn't Kevin, but screw you guys. If I want to heat my fish or curry or falafel I'm gonna go right ahead and do it.

At least I'm not the doosh who empties the coffee pot and walks out for the next guy to make more.

 

[El Floppo]

Hi whistling guy- sounds great!

 

[TheIronSheik]

For the love of God, take a shower and use some deodorant! BOTH OF YOU!!!

 

[xulf]

Hi whistling guy- sounds great!

Whistling guy is also burp guy here

 

[Mr. Ected]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Used to work in a small office with a Taiwanese woman who brought lunch every day. On most days, her lunch smelled delicious. Can't get much better than homemade Oriental food, I think her mother lived with her and did the cooking. But every once and a while, she would bring a fish dish and it would stink the whole place up. May have tasted good, it just stank!!!

 

[bryhamm]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Used to work in a small office with a Taiwanese woman who brought lunch every day. On most days, her lunch smelled delicious. Can't get much better than homemade Oriental food, I think her mother lived with her and did the cooking. But every once and a while, she would bring a fish dish and it would stink the whole place up. May have tasted good, it just stank!!!

 

[GTBilly]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Used to work in a small office with a Taiwanese woman who brought lunch every day. On most days, her lunch smelled delicious. Can't get much better than homemade Oriental food, I think her mother lived with her and did the cooking. But every once and a while, she would bring a fish dish and it would stink the whole place up. May have tasted good, it just stank!!!

Pretty sure "Oriental" is a huge no no now.

 

[Mr. Ected]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Used to work in a small office with a Taiwanese woman who brought lunch every day. On most days, her lunch smelled delicious. Can't get much better than homemade Oriental food, I think her mother lived with her and did the cooking. But every once and a while, she would bring a fish dish and it would stink the whole place up. May have tasted good, it just stank!!!

 

[Peyton Marino]

Yea, fish in the microwave is a no go. Fireable offense imo.

 

[Reegus]

Yea, fish in the microwave is a no go. Fireable offense imo.

I cook my fish in the microwave whenever I want to.

Gains > what some fatty thinks

 

[Peyton Marino]

Yea, fish in the microwave is a no go. Fireable offense imo.

I cook my fish in the microwave whenever I want to.

Gains > what some fatty thinks

ok great

 

[msommer]

Yea, fish in the microwave is a no go. Fireable offense imo.

I cook my fish in the microwave whenever I want to.

Gains > what some fatty thinks

Note to my employer. Please don't allow Reegus microwave privileges

 

[El Floppo]

Dear nice, cute recent employ girl who "ker-CHEW"s instead of sneezing like a normal person,

stop.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't (see Item #2 that follows).

(2) Leading off most sentences with "Correct me if I am wrong" is deeply irritating. While I often do correct you, I can't possibly do it every time you are wrong, so please stop asking me to.

In summary, you are so deeply annoying and unbearable that I am actively looking for another job despite the growth trajectory of our company and the fact that I have a pretty sweet gig currently. Telling you that I quit will be the most satisfying thing I will have done in ages. I am still undecided about whether I will do it on the phone, or whether I will fly to NYC to do it in person. The latter has the advantage that I would be able to punctuate my resignation by throwing you down a flight of stairs.

All the best,

RL

 

[TheIronSheik]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't (see Item #2 that follows).

(2) Leading off most sentences with "Correct me if I am wrong" is deeply irritating. While I often do correct you, I can't possibly do it every time you are wrong, so please stop asking me to.

In summary, you are so deeply annoying and unbearable that I am actively looking for another job despite the growth trajectory of our company and the fact that I have a pretty sweet gig currently. Telling you that I quit will be the most satisfying thing I will have done in ages. I am still undecided about whether I will do it on the phone, or whether I will fly to NYC to do it in person. The latter has the advantage that I would be able to punctuate my resignation by throwing you down a flight of stairs.

All the best,

RL

social r3+ardation

Took me a while to figure out what this was. I thought it was some type of business term. I was trying to sound it out like "Ar three plus Ardation?"

 

[mr roboto]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't (see Item #2 that follows).

(2) Leading off most sentences with "Correct me if I am wrong" is deeply irritating. While I often do correct you, I can't possibly do it every time you are wrong, so please stop asking me to.

In summary, you are so deeply annoying and unbearable that I am actively looking for another job despite the growth trajectory of our company and the fact that I have a pretty sweet gig currently. Telling you that I quit will be the most satisfying thing I will have done in ages. I am still undecided about whether I will do it on the phone, or whether I will fly to NYC to do it in person. The latter has the advantage that I would be able to punctuate my resignation by throwing you down a flight of stairs.

All the best,

RL

Hope this isn't me

 

[Joe Summer]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't (see Item #2 that follows).

(2) Leading off most sentences with "Correct me if I am wrong" is deeply irritating. While I often do correct you, I can't possibly do it every time you are wrong, so please stop asking me to.

In summary, you are so deeply annoying and unbearable that I am actively looking for another job despite the growth trajectory of our company and the fact that I have a pretty sweet gig currently. Telling you that I quit will be the most satisfying thing I will have done in ages. I am still undecided about whether I will do it on the phone, or whether I will fly to NYC to do it in person. The latter has the advantage that I would be able to punctuate my resignation by throwing you down a flight of stairs.

All the best,

RL

Hope this isn't me

Do you have a poof southern English accent?

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't

Thanks for this. I just sent it to my other partner.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't (see Item #2 that follows).

(2) Leading off most sentences with "Correct me if I am wrong" is deeply irritating. While I often do correct you, I can't possibly do it every time you are wrong, so please stop asking me to.

In summary, you are so deeply annoying and unbearable that I am actively looking for another job despite the growth trajectory of our company and the fact that I have a pretty sweet gig currently. Telling you that I quit will be the most satisfying thing I will have done in ages. I am still undecided about whether I will do it on the phone, or whether I will fly to NYC to do it in person. The latter has the advantage that I would be able to punctuate my resignation by throwing you down a flight of stairs.

All the best,

RL

social r3+ardation

Took me a while to figure out what this was. I thought it was some type of business term. I was trying to sound it out like "Ar three plus Ardation?"

Sometimes circumventing the language filter takes some creativity.

 

[mr roboto]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't (see Item #2 that follows).

(2) Leading off most sentences with "Correct me if I am wrong" is deeply irritating. While I often do correct you, I can't possibly do it every time you are wrong, so please stop asking me to.

In summary, you are so deeply annoying and unbearable that I am actively looking for another job despite the growth trajectory of our company and the fact that I have a pretty sweet gig currently. Telling you that I quit will be the most satisfying thing I will have done in ages. I am still undecided about whether I will do it on the phone, or whether I will fly to NYC to do it in person. The latter has the advantage that I would be able to punctuate my resignation by throwing you down a flight of stairs.

All the best,

RL

Hope this isn't me

Do you have a poof southern English accent?

Nope. Phew.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't (see Item #2 that follows).

(2) Leading off most sentences with "Correct me if I am wrong" is deeply irritating. While I often do correct you, I can't possibly do it every time you are wrong, so please stop asking me to.

In summary, you are so deeply annoying and unbearable that I am actively looking for another job despite the growth trajectory of our company and the fact that I have a pretty sweet gig currently. Telling you that I quit will be the most satisfying thing I will have done in ages. I am still undecided about whether I will do it on the phone, or whether I will fly to NYC to do it in person. The latter has the advantage that I would be able to punctuate my resignation by throwing you down a flight of stairs.

All the best,

RL

Hope this isn't me

Do you have a poof southern English accent?

Nope. Phew.

Did you ever think that maybe his CEO doesn't either and this is a trick..

 

[Rick James]

I work for a billion dollar private company. This weekend the power will be off at HQ so the IT guy wanted everyone to save their work and shut down their computers. Makes sense. This is the email he sent to the entire corporate office-- about 50 people including the President, CEO, and CFO.

Subject: Power will be office on the office teuday moring at 6:00 am

We will have the power off in the Suite starting 6:00am to somewhere and be back up by 7:00 am. Please turn off all computer Monday night before you go home. Any question Please ask me

 

[LarryAllen'sJockstrap]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Used to work in a small office with a Taiwanese woman who brought lunch every day. On most days, her lunch smelled delicious. Can't get much better than homemade Oriental food, I think her mother lived with her and did the cooking. But every once and a while, she would bring a fish dish and it would stink the whole place up. May have tasted good, it just stank!!!

Pretty sure "Oriental" is a huge no no now.

I think the rule is that food can still be called "Oriental", but people cannot. I learned this the hard way not all that long ago.

 

[gmbacm]

I work for a billion dollar private company. This weekend the power will be off at HQ so the IT guy wanted everyone to save their work and shut down their computers. Makes sense. This is the email he sent to the entire corporate office-- about 50 people including the President, CEO, and CFO.

Subject: Power will be office on the office teuday moring at 6:00 am

We will have the power off in the Suite starting 6:00am to somewhere and be back up by 7:00 am. Please turn off all computer Monday night before you go home. Any question Please ask me

Is your IT guy a Nigerian prince?

 

[Billy Bats]

Hey boss,

I'm the first one in and last one out and I'm never in the shop. So when you ask me what's going on in the shop, I honestly don't know, because I'm not there. You could ask the guy you pay, who's title is shop guy, what's going on at the shop, he's the one that would know. But he's never there because you make him your little errand boy. So when I get done my 9 hour non stop shift that started at 5:15am, I'm not about to start someone else's work. Let the ####### guy you pay to do it, actually do it.

 

[-fish-]

Fellow attorney,

Just because you schedule meetings for me without looking at my calendar doesn't mean I'm going to rearrange my schedule so you don't look bad.

Have fun at that 3 hour meeting Monday night.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Hey boss,

I'm the first one in and last one out and I'm never in the shop. So when you ask me what's going on in the shop, I honestly don't know, because I'm not there. You could ask the guy you pay, who's title is shop guy, what's going on at the shop, he's the one that would know. But he's never there because you make him your little errand boy. So when I get done my 9 hour non stop shift that started at 5:15am, I'm not about to start someone else's work. Let the ####### guy you pay to do it, actually do it.

His title is Shop Guy? I hope he at least puts Sr. Shop Guy on his resume.

 

[Mr. Ected]

I think the rule is that food can still be called "Oriental", but people cannot. I learned this the hard way not all that long ago.

This was ~20 years ago, so if it was safe then, describing it now the same way is OK!

 

[Niles Standish]

Hey boss,

I'm the first one in and last one out and I'm never in the shop. So when you ask me what's going on in the shop, I honestly don't know, because I'm not there. You could ask the guy you pay, who's title is shop guy, what's going on at the shop, he's the one that would know. But he's never there because you make him your little errand boy. So when I get done my 9 hour non stop shift that started at 5:15am, I'm not about to start someone else's work. Let the ####### guy you pay to do it, actually do it.

You leave at 2:15 PM and you're the last one out?

 

[Billy Bats]

Hey boss,

I'm the first one in and last one out and I'm never in the shop. So when you ask me what's going on in the shop, I honestly don't know, because I'm not there. You could ask the guy you pay, who's title is shop guy, what's going on at the shop, he's the one that would know. But he's never there because you make him your little errand boy. So when I get done my 9 hour non stop shift that started at 5:15am, I'm not about to start someone else's work. Let the ####### guy you pay to do it, actually do it.

You leave at 2:15 PM and you're the last one out?

Not today I wasnt, but my usual shift is 6-4ish while everyone else is 7-3(if that), but if I start around 5 or earlier then I'm out asap.

 

[Billy Bats]

Hey boss,

I'm the first one in and last one out and I'm never in the shop. So when you ask me what's going on in the shop, I honestly don't know, because I'm not there. You could ask the guy you pay, who's title is shop guy, what's going on at the shop, he's the one that would know. But he's never there because you make him your little errand boy. So when I get done my 9 hour non stop shift that started at 5:15am, I'm not about to start someone else's work. Let the ####### guy you pay to do it, actually do it.

His title is Shop Guy? I hope he at least puts Sr. Shop Guy on his resume.

It actually is shop guy. I've told him that he's head shop guy, but I like Sr. shop guy better.

 

[Maurile Tremblay]

Dear Senior Partner/CEO/Boss:

Your insecurity and social r3+ardation are almost comically over the top. Have you not yet noticed how people like you less the more time they spend with you (except, of course, for that signficant minority that seem to totally hate you immediately)? Those are two of the key reasons why.

Also, a couple notes on phrases that you use incessantly:

(1) when you say "do you know what I am saying?" every other sentence it makes me want to punch you in the face. I do, in fact, know what you are saying because we both speak English. That doesn't mean what you are saying is right. Usually, it isn't

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QOya9-lwQk

 

[TheAristocrat]

Dear 'Tardo Manager,

I know that Holle isn't the normal spelling for Holly but why on Earth did you address her as Hole two more times after she corrected you on the conference call?

I'm still bright red with embarrassment for you.

 

[IC FBGCav]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Used to work in a small office with a Taiwanese woman who brought lunch every day. On most days, her lunch smelled delicious. Can't get much better than homemade Oriental food, I think her mother lived with her and did the cooking. But every once and a while, she would bring a fish dish and it would stink the whole place up. May have tasted good, it just stank!!!

Pretty sure "Oriental" is a huge no no now.

I think the rule is that food can still be called "Oriental", but people cannot. I learned this the hard way not all that long ago.

Items can be oriental but not people.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Dear 'Tardo Manager,

I know that Holle isn't the normal spelling for Holly but why on Earth did you address her as Hole two more times after she corrected you on the conference call?

I'm still bright red with embarrassment for you.

What a butt Holle.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Dear 'Tardo Manager,

I know that Holle isn't the normal spelling for Holly but why on Earth did you address her as Hole two more times after she corrected you on the conference call?

I'm still bright red with embarrassment for you.

:LMAO:

 

[arrow1]

Dear fellow cube dweller,

No one cares that Iowa State losing busted your bracket, and you can still win it if Wisconsin takes it all....

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Dear 'Tardo Manager,

I know that Holle isn't the normal spelling for Holly but why on Earth did you address her as Hole two more times after she corrected you on the conference call?

I'm still bright red with embarrassment for you.

I would call her "Hole" out of principle.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Dear fellow cube dweller,

No one cares that Iowa State losing busted your bracket, and you can still win it if Wisconsin takes it all....

Pretty much sums it up this time of year.

 

[Henry Ford]

Dear fellow cube dweller,

No one cares that Iowa State losing busted your bracket, and you can still win it if Wisconsin takes it all....

Pretty much sums it up this time of year.

No one cares y bracket?

 

[Keerock]

Dear Kevin,

Please stop heating your fish/seafood lunch in the office microwave. Its disgusting and is noticeable throughout the office.

Thanks,

Everyone else in the office

Used to work in a small office with a Taiwanese woman who brought lunch every day. On most days, her lunch smelled delicious. Can't get much better than homemade Oriental food, I think her mother lived with her and did the cooking. But every once and a while, she would bring a fish dish and it would stink the whole place up. May have tasted good, it just stank!!!

Pretty sure "Oriental" is a huge no no now.

I think the rule is that food can still be called "Oriental", but people cannot. I learned this the hard way not all that long ago.

Items can be oriental but not people.

What about ornamental?

 

[Weeber]

Dear fellow cube dweller,

No one cares that Iowa State losing busted your bracket, and you can still win it if Wisconsin takes it all....

Pretty much sums it up this time of year.

No one cares y bracket?

Yah I'm not following this? Can you try again but this time turn down your mental ######ation?

 

[BroncoFreak_2K3]

Dear 'Tardo Manager,

I know that Holle isn't the normal spelling for Holly but why on Earth did you address her as Hole two more times after she corrected you on the conference call?

I'm still bright red with embarrassment for you.

What a butt Holle.