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A note to my coworker ... (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Nigel Tufnel
- Start date
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
big ups to Johnny sportin the VY Tennessee jerseyNigel Tufnel said:2 o'clock conference call.Shooter McGavin said:If more than two people participate, I'll try to oblige...shuke said:Funny Hat Day deserves it's own thread, with pics.Shooter McGavin said:My god, they're actually going through with it. "Funny Hat Day" is tomorrow. And if my life wasn't already enough like Office Space, there's a whole series of these theme days planned, including -- you guessed it -- Hawaiian Shirt Day.Kill me now.
Dought Man
Footballguy
Dearest cheap Spanish co-worker,
It's fine to make personal calls during the work day. We all need to check in at home occasionally for a minute here or there. However, the fact that you call Brazil at 4pm every Tuesday and Friday after your boss leaves is unacceptable. Oh, I have no trouble with the actual phone call you are placing, however, the fact that your voice raises by about 50 db and you start talking like you are smacking a pinata at a street festival during Carnival is unacceptable in a dead quiet office space.
I love the spanish langauge and spanish women :thumbs up: , but not when you scream and yell and laugh for 40-53 minutes twice per week while I am trying to make calls 3 offices away.
Thanks to tone it down.. don't make me do something we both don't want me to do. You have a chance to keep this job, don't blow it.
Gracias,
Dought Man
It's fine to make personal calls during the work day. We all need to check in at home occasionally for a minute here or there. However, the fact that you call Brazil at 4pm every Tuesday and Friday after your boss leaves is unacceptable. Oh, I have no trouble with the actual phone call you are placing, however, the fact that your voice raises by about 50 db and you start talking like you are smacking a pinata at a street festival during Carnival is unacceptable in a dead quiet office space.
I love the spanish langauge and spanish women :thumbs up: , but not when you scream and yell and laugh for 40-53 minutes twice per week while I am trying to make calls 3 offices away.
Thanks to tone it down.. don't make me do something we both don't want me to do. You have a chance to keep this job, don't blow it.
Gracias,
Dought Man
Desert_Power
Footballguy
Spanish and Brazil?
Dought Man
Footballguy
Portugese is the native tongue there, but I'm pretty sure she is speaking Spanish. I did take 2 years in High School.
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
So what kind of hat are you wearing tomorrow? What color is your Hawaiian shirt?Shooter McGavin said:My god, they're actually going through with it. "Funny Hat Day" is tomorrow. And if my life wasn't already enough like Office Space, there's a whole series of these theme days planned, including -- you guessed it -- Hawaiian Shirt Day.Kill me now.
TommyGilmore
Footballguy
Am I a racist if I think the black kid looks like Stymie?Also, props to the kid who crossed his eyes while holding a football in one hand and doing the headbanger sign in the other.big ups to Johnny sportin the VY Tennessee jerseyNigel Tufnel said:2 o'clock conference call.Shooter McGavin said:If more than two people participate, I'll try to oblige...shuke said:Funny Hat Day deserves it's own thread, with pics.Shooter McGavin said:My god, they're actually going through with it. "Funny Hat Day" is tomorrow. And if my life wasn't already enough like Office Space, there's a whole series of these theme days planned, including -- you guessed it -- Hawaiian Shirt Day.Kill me now.
george
Footballguy
My office has 3 of these damn funds. I've been here a little over a year and just found out about hte third.1. Coffee fund- I don't mind chipping in my $5 every few months. I drink LOTS of coffee.We have a "Sunshine Committee" around here. Every year they come around and ask for $10 to put into a fund. They use the money to buy flowers or cards for births, deaths whatever. Last year the Sunshine Broad came around and told me that the donation went up to $15. I asked her why. She said "We hired more people this year.":excellentposting: we got hit up today for a 'donation'
I must have given her this look:for about 5 minutes.
2. Birthday/Card Office fund- Every couple months they hit me up for $10. Then when it's your birthday they buy cake/ice cream/pie for the office. We have no dining area. Everyone either takes it back to their desk or eats it on the reception area counter
3. Just found out that the BUILDING (multiple offices) has a Sympathy fund. They wanted their $10 too.
THREE F'N FUNDS!!!!CRAZY!!!! I've probably chipped in $100 in a year and a half.
Oh yeah, I also got a memo couple months ago that was sent to the whole building asking that anyone who wanted to should call personell to donate sick time to somebody that works upstairs that I have never met...Ok, nice sentiment, but we already have a SICK BANK. Donate one day per year and you get back up to 90 days or something a year. And we have disability insurance...
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
DEAR OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD FEMALE COWORKER:
HOLY ####...WILL YOU SHUT THE #### UP ALREADY?!!!!
All morning long (and it's only 9:30!)...blah, blah, blah...Biggest Loser....blah, blah, blah....American Idol....blah, blah, blah...my kid's sick...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW LOUD YOU ARE?!
STOP ####### TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!
wg
HOLY ####...WILL YOU SHUT THE #### UP ALREADY?!!!!
All morning long (and it's only 9:30!)...blah, blah, blah...Biggest Loser....blah, blah, blah....American Idol....blah, blah, blah...my kid's sick...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW LOUD YOU ARE?!
STOP ####### TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!
wg
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Also, it's awesome that you went to see Bon Jovi and had a kickass time the other night, but I'm tired of hearing about it. For reals.
The Shizzle
Footballguy
Hey Fred,
Clipping your nails in public is one of the most vial things one can do. I am about to punch you in the neck, but I'm typing. I want to put super glue all over your clipper, but I will never touch it.
Shizz
Clipping your nails in public is one of the most vial things one can do. I am about to punch you in the neck, but I'm typing. I want to put super glue all over your clipper, but I will never touch it.
Shizz
belljr
Footballguy
I used to be the "anti-social guy". No one asked me for anything. I was not invited to any lunches anymore, etc etc etc. I did get along with people just fine for work but I would hear a couple grumblings here and there. Thank God I'm not in that group anymore. I don't mind chipping in if someone is having a baby or someone close passes away but they go overboard here too. Do you have to donate to the coffee fund if you don't drink coffee?My office has 3 of these damn funds. I've been here a little over a year and just found out about hte third.1. Coffee fund- I don't mind chipping in my $5 every few months. I drink LOTS of coffee.We have a "Sunshine Committee" around here. Every year they come around and ask for $10 to put into a fund. They use the money to buy flowers or cards for births, deaths whatever. Last year the Sunshine Broad came around and told me that the donation went up to $15. I asked her why. She said "We hired more people this year.":excellentposting: we got hit up today for a 'donation'
I must have given her this look:
2. Birthday/Card Office fund- Every couple months they hit me up for $10. Then when it's your birthday they buy cake/ice cream/pie for the office. We have no dining area. Everyone either takes it back to their desk or eats it on the reception area counter
3. Just found out that the BUILDING (multiple offices) has a Sympathy fund. They wanted their $10 too.
THREE F'N FUNDS!!!!CRAZY!!!! I've probably chipped in $100 in a year and a half.
Oh yeah, I also got a memo couple months ago that was sent to the whole building asking that anyone who wanted to should call personell to donate sick time to somebody that works upstairs that I have never met...Ok, nice sentiment, but we already have a SICK BANK. Donate one day per year and you get back up to 90 days or something a year. And we have disability insurance...
Last edited by a moderator:
george
Footballguy
mmm. Never asked about the coffee fund. I guarantee if I didn't drink coffee I wouldn't contribute. However, there is a conference room off our office that other groups/offices use for large meetings. Really pisses me off when those folks start emptying our coffee pot. It's not even the $$$ for the coffee. They leave the damn coffee pot empty. Which reminds me
ear co-workers,I know you have all worked here for 20 years. I know "Tony" has always made the coffee and Pam will if he's not here. I also know I "just" started here a year and a half ago. But I drink coffee, so if I empty the pot I make some more.There are 12 of us that work here. All of you have graduate degrees. How in the hell can 9 people with all of this education not really "know" how to make coffee here. ITS A 12-cup "MR COFFEE" maker. YOUR NOT MENTALLY CHALLENGED!!! MAKE SOME ####IN COFFEE IF YOU EMPTY THE POT!!!!! I'M TIRED OF GOING TO GET A CUP AND THE ####IN POT IS EMPTY. SHOW FOME RESPECT FOR YOUR CO-WORKERS. GET OFF YOUR ### AND MAKE ME SOME ####IN COFFEESigned, "THE NEW GUY", even after a year and a half.
AhrnCityPahnder
Yinz-o-riffic
I chipped in for years and years for baby showers, weddings, and whatever else people had. Then I got married and we didn't get #### from anyone in my office.My office has 3 of these damn funds. I've been here a little over a year and just found out about hte third.1. Coffee fund- I don't mind chipping in my $5 every few months. I drink LOTS of coffee.We have a "Sunshine Committee" around here. Every year they come around and ask for $10 to put into a fund. They use the money to buy flowers or cards for births, deaths whatever. Last year the Sunshine Broad came around and told me that the donation went up to $15. I asked her why. She said "We hired more people this year.":excellentposting: we got hit up today for a 'donation'
I must have given her this look:for about 5 minutes.
2. Birthday/Card Office fund- Every couple months they hit me up for $10. Then when it's your birthday they buy cake/ice cream/pie for the office. We have no dining area. Everyone either takes it back to their desk or eats it on the reception area counter
3. Just found out that the BUILDING (multiple offices) has a Sympathy fund. They wanted their $10 too.
THREE F'N FUNDS!!!!CRAZY!!!! I've probably chipped in $100 in a year and a half.
Oh yeah, I also got a memo couple months ago that was sent to the whole building asking that anyone who wanted to should call personell to donate sick time to somebody that works upstairs that I have never met...Ok, nice sentiment, but we already have a SICK BANK. Donate one day per year and you get back up to 90 days or something a year. And we have disability insurance...
Those ####bags haven't seen a dime from me since.
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
that sucksI chipped in for years and years for baby showers, weddings, and whatever else people had. Then I got married and we didn't get #### from anyone in my office.My office has 3 of these damn funds. I've been here a little over a year and just found out about hte third.1. Coffee fund- I don't mind chipping in my $5 every few months. I drink LOTS of coffee.We have a "Sunshine Committee" around here. Every year they come around and ask for $10 to put into a fund. They use the money to buy flowers or cards for births, deaths whatever. Last year the Sunshine Broad came around and told me that the donation went up to $15. I asked her why. She said "We hired more people this year.":excellentposting: we got hit up today for a 'donation'
I must have given her this look:
2. Birthday/Card Office fund- Every couple months they hit me up for $10. Then when it's your birthday they buy cake/ice cream/pie for the office. We have no dining area. Everyone either takes it back to their desk or eats it on the reception area counter
3. Just found out that the BUILDING (multiple offices) has a Sympathy fund. They wanted their $10 too.
THREE F'N FUNDS!!!!CRAZY!!!! I've probably chipped in $100 in a year and a half.
Oh yeah, I also got a memo couple months ago that was sent to the whole building asking that anyone who wanted to should call personell to donate sick time to somebody that works upstairs that I have never met...Ok, nice sentiment, but we already have a SICK BANK. Donate one day per year and you get back up to 90 days or something a year. And we have disability insurance...
Cameron Frye
Footballguy
Dear Conference Call Loud Talker,
Everyone can hear you without you taking it up a notch. My ears, they are bleeding.
Good luck with your morbid obesity,
Cam
Everyone can hear you without you taking it up a notch. My ears, they are bleeding.
Good luck with your morbid obesity,
Cam
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Dear A/P Clerk Who Drives a Lexus,
How does that work exactly?
Just curious,
Fo Shizzle
How does that work exactly?
Just curious,
Fo Shizzle
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
Sounds like you need a cup of coffee.
McJose
Footballguy
This stuff is out of control. It's a job, people. You are there to work not eat cake.Oh and the reason I gave the Sunshine Committee woman that look is because she didn't understand the math of the whole thing. Just because we hire new people does not mean we have to donate more money. If we go from 50 employees to 55 it's safe to assume those 5 new people will be donating as well.My office has 3 of these damn funds. I've been here a little over a year and just found out about hte third.1. Coffee fund- I don't mind chipping in my $5 every few months. I drink LOTS of coffee.We have a "Sunshine Committee" around here. Every year they come around and ask for $10 to put into a fund. They use the money to buy flowers or cards for births, deaths whatever. Last year the Sunshine Broad came around and told me that the donation went up to $15. I asked her why. She said "We hired more people this year.":excellentposting: we got hit up today for a 'donation'
I must have given her this look:for about 5 minutes.
2. Birthday/Card Office fund- Every couple months they hit me up for $10. Then when it's your birthday they buy cake/ice cream/pie for the office. We have no dining area. Everyone either takes it back to their desk or eats it on the reception area counter
3. Just found out that the BUILDING (multiple offices) has a Sympathy fund. They wanted their $10 too.
THREE F'N FUNDS!!!!CRAZY!!!! I've probably chipped in $100 in a year and a half.
mr. furley
Footballguy
STOP COMING TO MY DESK WHILE I'M TRYING TO EAT LUNCH!!!!!!!!!
I don't eat lunch in the "break room" because i don't want to listen to middle-aged women ##### about their miserable lives. I eat at my desk because i enjoy the quiet.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO "CHECK IN" EVERY DAY WHILE I'M TRYING TO ENJOY MY LUNCH.
####
I don't eat lunch in the "break room" because i don't want to listen to middle-aged women ##### about their miserable lives. I eat at my desk because i enjoy the quiet.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO "CHECK IN" EVERY DAY WHILE I'M TRYING TO ENJOY MY LUNCH.
####
McJose
Footballguy
Matt,How's your lunch?Kenny from Accounting
mr. furley
Footballguy
:####punch:
"Ooooohhh....is that on a pita? Looks yummy!"
McJose
Footballguy
Ham and cheese today, Shooter? Livin' the dream, buddy...Livin' the dream.
McJose
Footballguy
What did Rudnicki screw up this time?
Cleaning the booths at the local adult video store?
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Its actuallyMy job is not to sort out the messes you created. Just sayin
belljr
Footballguy
Maybe it's because I'm dumb and bald but huh?
UlyssesNorris
Faulknerian Idiot Man-Child.
Dear guy standing next to me--
I've urinated before, plenty of times. I acknowledge that it can often be quite a relief. But don't you think the grunts and sighs loud enough to interrupt the conversations of those on the floor below are overselling it a bit?
I've urinated before, plenty of times. I acknowledge that it can often be quite a relief. But don't you think the grunts and sighs loud enough to interrupt the conversations of those on the floor below are overselling it a bit?
belljr
Footballguy
oh so she tried to clean with it..... I get it now.Meanie...
mr. furley
Footballguy
Working in an office with a 1-man bathroom (1 stall, 1 urinal - ONE MAN BATHROOM 
) i understand this well.There's a goofy wierdo here that uses the bathroom no matter if there's someone else in there or not.. that's bad enough.. but instead of quietly going about his business, washing his hands and getting outta there he's moaning, groaning, ####ing on the urinal cake so as to maximize the splashing sound instead of aiming for the back wall and making no sound.he then proceeds to comb his hair BEFORE washing his hands.
Metallurgist
Footballguy
Dear Maintenance Dept Snow Removal Guy,
Thank you for removing my passenger side mirror with your plow truck. I'm sure the GM and owner will love the repair bill on their desk next week for $1200. I'm also really looking forward to the 3 hour round trip drive to Denver and back so the auto body shop can repair your ineptness. I'll be sure to submit my gas expenses as well - perhaps lunch too.
All the best,
M
Thank you for removing my passenger side mirror with your plow truck. I'm sure the GM and owner will love the repair bill on their desk next week for $1200. I'm also really looking forward to the 3 hour round trip drive to Denver and back so the auto body shop can repair your ineptness. I'll be sure to submit my gas expenses as well - perhaps lunch too.
All the best,
M
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
ElvisMonster
Footballguy
Dear Guy That I'm Guessing Has Asperger's,
I don't mind that you keep conversations going as I'm walking away or trying to leave for the day. I don't mind that most of the time you smell like body odor and old socks. I don't even mind that you try to pick up chicks in chat rooms when you don't think anybody is paying attention. But there is something I do mind. PLEASE quit standing right in front of me and eyeballing whatever I happened to get for lunch.
You look at my food like you haven't eaten in a month. Where did I get it? It says "Subway" on the bag. I'll give you three guesses. What do I have on it? WHY DO YOU CARE?! CAN I PLEASE EAT MY SANDWICH! I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU ANY! Is it good? IT'S FINE! THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T THROW IT AWAY AFTER I TOOK A BITE! Please, please, please quit watching me eat my sandwich. Please? We're cool. Just talk to me after I'm done eating. You skeeve me out a little.
Just digesting,
EM
I don't mind that you keep conversations going as I'm walking away or trying to leave for the day. I don't mind that most of the time you smell like body odor and old socks. I don't even mind that you try to pick up chicks in chat rooms when you don't think anybody is paying attention. But there is something I do mind. PLEASE quit standing right in front of me and eyeballing whatever I happened to get for lunch.
You look at my food like you haven't eaten in a month. Where did I get it? It says "Subway" on the bag. I'll give you three guesses. What do I have on it? WHY DO YOU CARE?! CAN I PLEASE EAT MY SANDWICH! I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU ANY! Is it good? IT'S FINE! THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T THROW IT AWAY AFTER I TOOK A BITE! Please, please, please quit watching me eat my sandwich. Please? We're cool. Just talk to me after I'm done eating. You skeeve me out a little.
Just digesting,
EM
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Guy,
Under what circumstances do you really need to wear a fanny pack, stuffed to the gills like Costanza's wallet, at an office job?
SR
Under what circumstances do you really need to wear a fanny pack, stuffed to the gills like Costanza's wallet, at an office job?
SR
Regular Crust Pizza
Footballguy
chet
Footballguy
Dear YSR--
PLease stop with the running joke--it's been 9 months already, and I really don't want to hear about the ugly carpet anymore. You may think you're cute and flirty, but I don't. I actually asked your cube neighbor to join in on the "joke" with the hope that you'd get the hint but my plan obviously failed.
The only reason I ever talked to you in the first place is that I thought you'd go postal if I didn't. Your chances of hanging out with me outside the office let alone scoring with me are in the same area as Howard Stern (in drag) winning Miss Universe.
Your cute co-worker
PLease stop with the running joke--it's been 9 months already, and I really don't want to hear about the ugly carpet anymore. You may think you're cute and flirty, but I don't. I actually asked your cube neighbor to join in on the "joke" with the hope that you'd get the hint but my plan obviously failed.
The only reason I ever talked to you in the first place is that I thought you'd go postal if I didn't. Your chances of hanging out with me outside the office let alone scoring with me are in the same area as Howard Stern (in drag) winning Miss Universe.
Your cute co-worker
smotherhook
Footballguy
LMFAOSeriously. Does this guy have a cubicle with a wheel in the middle of it and cedar chips on the floor?Unpossible.You: 200 beats per minute. Me:
You can fit everything you need, and it's right there on your fanny. Where's the mystery?
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
A WD appearance. This thread is now complete.You can fit everything you need, and it's right there on your fanny. Where's the mystery?
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
You can fit everything you need, and it's right there on your fanny. Where's the mystery?
I almost started the original posting with "Unless you're WetDream..."Here's the thing - this guy also wears a cellphone on his belt, has an overstuffed wallet fattening his back pocket, and wears the fannypack portion around his front. Does this make it a pubicpack? Please advise as you are the resident subject-matter expert.
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
Seriously, stop it. He'd kick you into the bottomless pit if you were coming after him looking for lovin'.
With rock hard abs,SM
ElvisMonster
Footballguy
THIS! IS! HARASSMENT!!!1Seriously, stop it. He'd kick you into the bottomless pit if you were coming after him looking for lovin'.With rock hard abs,SM
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
Dear thorn in my side,
I DON'T CARE WHAT CHANGES YOU MADE TO YOUR INSURANCE AND FLEXIBLE SPENDING ACCOUNT. I WAS HOPING YOU'D GET THE POINT BY THIS EXPRESSION ON MY FACE:
COUPLED WITH THE AWKWARD SILENCE WHEN YOU STOPPED TALKING AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN "UH HUH" YEAH, THAT'S ME NOT GIVING A CRAP!!!! NOW GET OUT OF HERE.
HAVE A GREAT DAY
I DON'T CARE WHAT CHANGES YOU MADE TO YOUR INSURANCE AND FLEXIBLE SPENDING ACCOUNT. I WAS HOPING YOU'D GET THE POINT BY THIS EXPRESSION ON MY FACE:
COUPLED WITH THE AWKWARD SILENCE WHEN YOU STOPPED TALKING AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN "UH HUH" YEAH, THAT'S ME NOT GIVING A CRAP!!!! NOW GET OUT OF HERE.HAVE A GREAT DAY
Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
Hi Mr Custodial Engineer. I know you're just trying to do your job, and I don't mean to get in the way, but please don't mop between my feet while I'm taking a leak.
-Q
-Q
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
bakes
I am the Beer God!
Dear Payroll:
I've been doing direct deposit for almost 12 years now. I like direct deposit. I can set up what money goes to what bills ahead of time and not have to write checks.
So why, when I opened this week's check stub, is my paycheck attached? Then after a few "What... the... ???" moments I check my previous paystub from the last pay period 2 weeks ago. Another check. When I called you and you informed me that "Well, you ended your direct deposit on... " why were you so astonished when I replied "The hell I did! I've never signed anything!" And if you chose to end my direct deposit unilaterally, maybe because a wheel of cheese spun on its own somewhere in Vrmont, why did you not have THE COMMON ####### COURTESY TO TELL ME!!!!
So yes, I am more than a little furious, as you also didn't have the common ####### courtesy to end my direct withdrawals so the bills are still coming in. This would probably explain the bounced check notices that are undoubtedly in the mail. Which will be forwarded to your office to pay.
The sole reason I did not walk upstairs to "discuss" it with you personally is that I like my job, or at least the paychecks. When they go where they're supposed to.
Bakes
p.s. You could probably screw up a wet dream about a free lunch if you weren't so busy making policy unilaterally while staring out the window at the squirrels eating nuts off the statue's head.
I've been doing direct deposit for almost 12 years now. I like direct deposit. I can set up what money goes to what bills ahead of time and not have to write checks.
So why, when I opened this week's check stub, is my paycheck attached? Then after a few "What... the... ???" moments I check my previous paystub from the last pay period 2 weeks ago. Another check. When I called you and you informed me that "Well, you ended your direct deposit on... " why were you so astonished when I replied "The hell I did! I've never signed anything!" And if you chose to end my direct deposit unilaterally, maybe because a wheel of cheese spun on its own somewhere in Vrmont, why did you not have THE COMMON ####### COURTESY TO TELL ME!!!!
So yes, I am more than a little furious, as you also didn't have the common ####### courtesy to end my direct withdrawals so the bills are still coming in. This would probably explain the bounced check notices that are undoubtedly in the mail. Which will be forwarded to your office to pay.
The sole reason I did not walk upstairs to "discuss" it with you personally is that I like my job, or at least the paychecks. When they go where they're supposed to.
Bakes
p.s. You could probably screw up a wet dream about a free lunch if you weren't so busy making policy unilaterally while staring out the window at the squirrels eating nuts off the statue's head.
