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A story I'd rather not tell... (1 Viewer)

Shiek do you have an employee handbook or any other written support for that cellphone situation? I’d want that in my back pocket if that wasn’t policy prior to this meeting

 
I am sorry that happened to you. 

It does help to explain your continued  defense of the Astros though.  :P

 
Smack Tripper said:
Shiek do you have an employee handbook or any other written support for that cellphone situation? I’d want that in my back pocket if that wasn’t policy prior to this meeting
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Was never given a handbook. Not sure the company even has one. But no one ever told me about the cellphone policy. 

 
So if I were to get in touch with an employment lawyer, am I just looking for the first one to pop up in the search? The first one that says free consultation?

 
Man, what a crappy situation. That would piss me off something fierce. You seem like a good human being and are a funny poster, which imo, are the only two redeemable qualities people can have. So, you got that going for you, which is nice.

Also, go see a lawyer for a consult. Even if you don't decide to pursue a law suit, at least you can get validation on whether you have a case and how strong it might be. That will help you lay this one to rest, mentally, I imagine. Also, it will help you focus in on what/how to document every interaction you have with both of them, going forward. And, if you're smart, you will write down detail of every interaction you have with them, as well as trying to have as much in writing/email/voicemail, as possible. Neither one of them seems to have a grasp on appropriate professional behavior- they think because they have the title of "boss" that gives them the freedom to do whatever they want. Protect yo neck!

 
The company was a small company that grew very fast. So people were put into upper level management jobs based solely on seniority. Half the people in high positions have no prior experience and are not very good at their jobs. 

 
TheIronSheik said:
So if I were to get in touch with an employment lawyer, am I just looking for the first one to pop up in the search? The first one that says free consultation?
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I would just let it go.  Sounds like they had no clue.   What are the damages here?   Are there any?   Would it be easy to find another job?

 
Getzlaf15 said:
I would just let it go.  Sounds like they had no clue.   What are the damages here?   Are there any?   Would it be easy to find another job?
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I don’t know. It’s been pretty crushing to me. Is that a lot? May not sound like a lot, but I’ve been in tears almost everyday since it’s happened. 

 
TheIronSheik said:
I don’t know. It’s been pretty crushing to me. Is that a lot? May not sound like a lot, but I’ve been in tears almost everyday since it’s happened. 
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And you've had to start going to therapy to deal with it. And it's starting to affect your personal relationships, including with your wife.

 
bostonfred said:
My son is on the spectrum. He's a smart kid but there's days that it's really hard. I can't tell you how happy I'd be if he grew up anything like you. I know that wasn't your goal but your post gives me hope.  
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My son was 13 when he was diagnosed high functioning asperger's in 2002.  

When we told him, he said he felt relieved to find out.  

For college, we put him in College Learning Experience at Austin CC.  He got a degree in computer gaming.  The economy tanked and he never got a job in that field.  He was hired 8 years ago as a junior programmer and manages a database for the Navy on the readiness of all military aircraft.  

He bought a brand new home 25 months ago.  Makes solid cash now.  

CLE was the best money I ever spent in my life.  Gave him all the learning and living skills he needed to get through life. 

 
If this conversation with your boss and the HR lady was only verbal with no written documentation, I recommend you work with HR and maybe even the VP of HR to get it on record and part of your personnel file. I know a little bit about employment practices liability insurance (though I'm no lawyer), and documentation is key to building your case if it's ever needed (hostile work environment etc). Documentation also covers HR's butt if they ever need to justify terminating someone, but in general it's good thing for those in the right. If you get the sense that everyone in the company knows about your condition, maybe that makes you a protected class, which is even better for you.

:2cents:

 
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TheIronSheik said:
I don’t know. It’s been pretty crushing to me. Is that a lot? May not sound like a lot, but I’ve been in tears almost everyday since it’s happened. 
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Just reread the entire thread.   Do whatever you feel you need to do.   My suggestion is to go to the HR lady you liked, and explain how this is still affecting you and ask her why the other HR person asked you such odd questions.  

 
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TheIronSheik said:
I just hate carrying around two cell phones in my pocket everywhere I go.
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:goodposting:

My company phone is an email machine.  That's it.  I don't have the foggiest idea what the number is to it.

Oh, and the HR "insubordination" comment is one of the more ridiculous comments I've heard.  She has no idea what that word means.  That they'd actually go and pull the phone call records shows the lack of trust they have.  You were much, much nicer about it than I would have been.

 
I’m mad the more I think about it.... she wants to try to hang you procedure with this phone deal, but no handbook, and I suppose no code of conduct on file?   Any chance you can parlay this into working remotely?  Outta site outta mind 

 
Smack Tripper said:
I’m mad the more I think about it.... she wants to try to hang you procedure with this phone deal, but no handbook, and I suppose no code of conduct on file?   Any chance you can parlay this into working remotely?  Outta site outta mind 
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If it were me, I'd be all "You want me to be more social?  I'll be more social..." and then proceed to put everyone's stapler in jello and wrap their desks in wrapping paper.  

 
You gotta find a new job.  No way i could continue working there after they pulled that crap.  I wouldn't mess around with law suits and all that, just fond a new gig and put in your 2 weeks notice.

glllllllll

 
Again, if I could find a new job, I’d be gone. I’ve mentioned on this board for the last year that I’d been looking for a job. I can’t seem to find one. I apply to probably 2 or 3 jobs a week and I haven’t been called for even a phone interview in over 6 months. :shrug:

 
I remember back in 1988 my boss called me in and asked me if I liked my job.  I have Asperger's too, fwiw,  and I just blurted out an honest answer....  "No, and I want to be somewhere else within a year."  That was at the very start of the recession that hit (iirc) around the 1989 - 1990 timeframe.  and so I was indeed somewhere else after that year had passed.  I was unemployed and unemployment was high and I went quite a while before I got another job.   

Anyhow, hang in there,  and good luck, gb.  Sounds like you should be looking for another gig, in any event.  

 
johnnycakes said:
I remember back in 1988 my boss called me in and asked me if I liked my job.  I have Asperger's too, fwiw,  and I just blurted out an honest answer....  "No, and I want to be somewhere else within a year."  That was at the very start of the recession that hit (iirc) around the 1989 - 1990 timeframe.  and so I was indeed somewhere else after that year had passed.  I was unemployed and unemployment was high and I went quite a while before I got another job.   

Anyhow, hang in there,  and good luck, gb.  Sounds like you should be looking for another gig, in any event.  
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I knew there was a reason we connected. 

 
TheIronSheik said:
Again, if I could find a new job, I’d be gone. I’ve mentioned on this board for the last year that I’d been looking for a job. I can’t seem to find one. I apply to probably 2 or 3 jobs a week and I haven’t been called for even a phone interview in over 6 months. :shrug:
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Rather than a lawyer, you might want to go with some kind of employment consultant who can help you with the current fashion in resumes and job hunting.

Alas, I have the feeling that the joke I want to make would get deleted, even though I think you'd laugh your behind off.  (Also, I'm typing this very slowly, just for you.  Do I need to use all caps?  Comic Sans?)

That HR woman is messed up.

 
EYLive said:
If this conversation with your boss and the HR lady was only verbal with no written documentation, I recommend you work with HR and maybe even the VP of HR to get it on record and part of your personnel file. I know a little bit about employment practices liability insurance (though I'm no lawyer), and documentation is key to building your case if it's ever needed (hostile work environment etc). Documentation also covers HR's butt if they ever need to justify terminating someone, but in general it's good thing for those in the right. If you get the sense that everyone in the company knows about your condition, maybe that makes you a protected class, which is even better for you.

:2cents:
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This seems like a good idea.

Not sure what your boss and the HR lady were trying to do but they failed hugely. Unless you work in a secure facility I can't imagine why there would be a requirement to use the company phone v your own.

 
Random thoughts for you Sheik:

First of all, how are you?

I appreciate the courage it took for you to start this thread.  It shows your great character, and it really helps our FFA community to have these types of discussions.  I noticed that the past few months that you have been more active in the FFA (maybe you have been active before, but I just recently noticed), and starting more threads.  I looked at it as you nudging a slowing forum, and thought "cool, Sheik is trying to pump up the FFA.  So from this FBG, your posts are really appreciated.

I can see and agree with all of the "find a new job" and "sue them" sentiments that are being thrown out there.  Here are some thoughts that you may want to consider that can work for you.  I understand your boss is not very good at his job--a given.  Beyond that, it is possible that your boss did not like you personally due to a lack of connecting with you.  Perhaps the two of you bump heads a lot, and it has caused friction.  He made a move to remove you, or to scare you to fall in line.  Now that he knows about your situation, and his "why" he doesn't get along with you, he may change his tune and become your biggest supporters.  This does not excuse his poor management, but possibly he had an aha moment, instead of an oh-no moment.  ---- Probably not, but just throwing that out there.

 Finally, since there has been a lot of pats on the back for you, and you want some shtick:

Iron Sheik?  More like Aluminum Foil Sheik, amirite?  

 
D-Day said:
Random thoughts for you Sheik:

First of all, how are you?

I appreciate the courage it took for you to start this thread.  It shows your great character, and it really helps our FFA community to have these types of discussions.  I noticed that the past few months that you have been more active in the FFA (maybe you have been active before, but I just recently noticed), and starting more threads.  I looked at it as you nudging a slowing forum, and thought "cool, Sheik is trying to pump up the FFA.  So from this FBG, your posts are really appreciated.

I can see and agree with all of the "find a new job" and "sue them" sentiments that are being thrown out there.  Here are some thoughts that you may want to consider that can work for you.  I understand your boss is not very good at his job--a given.  Beyond that, it is possible that your boss did not like you personally due to a lack of connecting with you.  Perhaps the two of you bump heads a lot, and it has caused friction.  He made a move to remove you, or to scare you to fall in line.  Now that he knows about your situation, and his "why" he doesn't get along with you, he may change his tune and become your biggest supporters.  This does not excuse his poor management, but possibly he had an aha moment, instead of an oh-no moment.  ---- Probably not, but just throwing that out there.

 Finally, since there has been a lot of pats on the back for you, and you want some shtick:

Iron Sheik?  More like Aluminum Foil Sheik, amirite?  
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:lol:

I love this forum because it’s much easier for me to talk through writing than through face to face contact. The internet has been an amazing help in my life. 

You bring up a good point about my boss. He actually is a religious guy who works with special needs kids in his free time. When it all went down, I could tell he was bothered. And I would venture to guess he felt bad because of how he was treating me. Since that day, he’s been super nice to me. I’m sure partly because of how it happened and partly because He prides himself on working with people who needed help. I’m sure that rocked his foundation, slightly. That would be my guess. And while I’m not the best at reading people, I’m pretty good at figuring people out. 

I could be totally wrong. Who knows. But he has definitely stopped trying to set traps, or work against me. Work has been much less stressful the past week. So that’s one good thing. 

All that said, I still want out. There are just a lot of things that bring back bad memories of that day. And I don’t think those wounds can heal. 

 
TheIronSheik said:
Again, if I could find a new job, I’d be gone. I’ve mentioned on this board for the last year that I’d been looking for a job. I can’t seem to find one. I apply to probably 2 or 3 jobs a week and I haven’t been called for even a phone interview in over 6 months. :shrug:
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Sorry you are going through this.  

I think it's time to utilize a head hunter/consultant to help rework the resume and coach you with the interview process.  You were unhappy before this confrontation, and this certainly makes it worse.  Your choice  whether you want to pursue legal recourse, but an initial consult would not be a bad idea either.

My best,

DK

PS:  while you are socially awkward  :pokey: ,  next time you are in the bay area let's grab a drink. 

 
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1. Document everything (conversations, the paperwork they put in front of you, dates, times, your emotional states, lack of sleep, etc) 

2. Keep it in your back pocket justincase things take a poor turn (not saying they will, just be proactive) and you need to litigate 

3. Keep plugging away at the job search...you never know when the next, best, opportunity will come from 

 
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TheIronSheik said:
Again, if I could find a new job, I’d be gone. I’ve mentioned on this board for the last year that I’d been looking for a job. I can’t seem to find one. I apply to probably 2 or 3 jobs a week and I haven’t been called for even a phone interview in over 6 months. :shrug:
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right.  sorry, good luck with that.  Keep positive, and keep at it!

 
I notice that nobody has acted surprised yet in this thread...

 But seriously, I can’t say that I ever thought that you may be on the spectrum from anything you’ve posted. You’re a delight and it sucks that you were put in that position. Not that it really matters because you are who you are and being one thing or not is nobody else’s dang business, but I think it speaks to how well you’ve adapted that not being neuro-“typical” wasn’t something that was obvious to them.

I have to imagine a piece of the hurt does have to be though that as much as you’ve adapted and worked to “fit in”, they still saw pieces of who you are that are “different” and treated them as negatives. But screw that, because frankly I don’t think some of those things are negatives anyway. Not everyone has to go around pretending to be everyone’s friend Dolores. I have like 120 people in our office and I know like 10 of them. I’m there to work and do my job, not take part in a social club. I’m not on the spectrum and don’t think I’m particularly a jerk or anything, I just think work is work and will sometimes chat with the few people around me, but don’t see the point of socializing with everyone in the building. Do your job Janice and leave me alone.

 
I know I’ve gone back and forth with you on a few topics—but I can truly tell you that I admire how you handled things—and I admire your strength for sharing something that is obviously difficult and personal to you with us.  I think that what your employers did was absolutely uncalled for and could fall under the grounds of hostile workplace.   I’m not really familiar with employment law—but I do think that it might be wise to consult an employment lawyer and document what happened just in case your employer has something else up their sleeve.  Besides that—don’t be ashamed about any syndrome, condition, or quirk that you might have.  We are all humans and we all have things that make us who we are.   The fact that you opened up to your employer and opened up to us shows that you are comfortable with yourself and comfortable in your own skin.   That fact alone is something you should be very proud of. 

 
As a father of a daughter with autism, I'd be irate if I found out her employer's HR department treated her the way you were treated. You handled this admirably and much better than I would have, GB.

 
I don’t know what I’d do in your situation. I have problems with reading social situations too. (Never been diagnosed, just ADHD, and a learning disability)  I hope things smooth out for you. You seem like a genuine fellow @TheIronSheik

 
GroveDiesel said:
I notice that nobody has acted surprised yet in this thread...

 But seriously, I can’t say that I ever thought that you may be on the spectrum from anything you’ve posted. You’re a delight and it sucks that you were put in that position. Not that it really matters because you are who you are and being one thing or not is nobody else’s dang business, but I think it speaks to how well you’ve adapted that not being neuro-“typical” wasn’t something that was obvious to them.

I have to imagine a piece of the hurt does have to be though that as much as you’ve adapted and worked to “fit in”, they still saw pieces of who you are that are “different” and treated them as negatives. But screw that, because frankly I don’t think some of those things are negatives anyway. Not everyone has to go around pretending to be everyone’s friend Dolores. I have like 120 people in our office and I know like 10 of them. I’m there to work and do my job, not take part in a social club. I’m not on the spectrum and don’t think I’m particularly a jerk or anything, I just think work is work and will sometimes chat with the few people around me, but don’t see the point of socializing with everyone in the building. Do your job Janice and leave me alone.
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It takes a lot of energy to wear a normal mask in and around social situations.

 
Daywalker said:

Not fishing. What did she do that was wrong?
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1. (unless he had received a direct order not to use his personal cell phone) it was totally inappropriate for her to accuse him of "insubordination".

2. it's not really HR's job to interrogate employees about whether or not they "like" working for the company.

3. it's inappropriate to accuse him of something based on the fact that he doesn't socialize with her. She's taking things to a weirdly personal level there.
 
TheIronSheik said:
Again, if I could find a new job, I’d be gone. I’ve mentioned on this board for the last year that I’d been looking for a job. I can’t seem to find one. I apply to probably 2 or 3 jobs a week and I haven’t been called for even a phone interview in over 6 months. :shrug:
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Possibly because your boss is badmouthing you to prospective employers?

 
Ron Swanson said:
But it is time for you to find a new job.  Great the way you backed them off, but the fact that they acted that way in the first place tells me they are not a good employer.
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Find a new job now that the tables have turned and he can do no wrong?  I'd be positioning for my own bathroom if I were him.  

 
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