inca911
Footballguy
Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
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And people in my office wonder why they're fat (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Evilgrin 72
- Start date
17seconds
root of all aliai
You ever seen this move from a fat person at work? I've seen it a 2 different jobs....Catering arrives about 15 minutes before the meeting. Nobody is there yet, or maybe just a couple people setting up. Fat dude grabs a sandwich or whatever and shoves it down his gullet post-haste. He might do a 4in sandwich in 2 bites.Then during the meeting he lines up with everybody and acts like it's his first visit to the trough.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
You call the police on co-workers often? You think it's a good idea to call the police on the head of HR? You sir, are an idiot.Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Oh yeah, the real reason I'm here.
Today, Twin Cities brought in a huge tray of mini-cheesecakes with cherry topping on them. As I walked by the desk with the tray on it (and the couple of women standing there wolfing them down), I noticed that she (I assume) put a TIP JAR on the desk next to the cheesecakes.
Now, I've worked in offices where people took coffee collections and such, but no one is asking her fat ### to bring these things in. Now she wants to collect for it?
I just farted in her tip jar, sealed it up quickly, and put it in her office. I pray to God, Allah, whomever, that that fart sears her nasal passages when she gets home and empties that thing.
Today, Twin Cities brought in a huge tray of mini-cheesecakes with cherry topping on them. As I walked by the desk with the tray on it (and the couple of women standing there wolfing them down), I noticed that she (I assume) put a TIP JAR on the desk next to the cheesecakes.
Now, I've worked in offices where people took coffee collections and such, but no one is asking her fat ### to bring these things in. Now she wants to collect for it?
I just farted in her tip jar, sealed it up quickly, and put it in her office. I pray to God, Allah, whomever, that that fart sears her nasal passages when she gets home and empties that thing.
Al Czervik
Not wearing pants
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
It was tough to execute without anyone seeing me, but I've been unleashing some God-awful rotten-egg farts all afternoon. I grabbed the tip jar and stepped around the corner into an empty cube, positioned the jar carefully, let fly, then capped it with the speed and grace of a puma. I think there's a solid chance she smells that thing when she opens that jar at home, or preferably in her car on the way home.
inca911
Footballguy
Calling the cops was your idea, not mine. I suggest that you simply talk to the HR lady and share that her parking in the handicap spot is upsetting to you, and may send a bad message to the rest of the organization. My criticism is that you are complaining and choosing to take no reasonable action to change the thing that bothers you. Just like those you are complaining about. You, sir, are the idiot for thinking that calling the cops is your only possible solution to this simple problem. Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson) might be a good read for you, if you have difficulty with this sort of thing.You call the police on co-workers often? You think it's a good idea to call the police on the head of HR? You sir, are an idiot.Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
EYLive
Footballguy
McGarnicle
Footballguy
I would. You don't have to give your name. My grandfather had a leg blown off in WWII, this kind of crap irritates me to no end. I would have called the cops immediately.You call the police on co-workers often? You think it's a good idea to call the police on the head of HR? You sir, are an idiot.Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Thought about it but frankly the risk of it getting out that I was the rat outweighs the benefit of calling. Inca, I'm not sure exactly where I said that was the only option, but given that I think I have a slightly better grasp of the situation and the people involved, I'm going to trust my own judgment on this, but thanks for the input. Let me guess, you're fat, right?
derek245583
Footballguy
I work at a food company and specifically at a corporate office attached to the plant. They routinely have food cuttings to see if product A matches product B and all that. Some of these sweat hogs call our R and D department and get the testing schedule a week ahead of time and they plan that for their lunch. Which is fine, I guess....until they ask for seconds. Its embarrassing.
inca911
Footballguy
Your call. Just holding up the mirror so you can see yourself.6'1", 170, athletic. You might want to think a bit about always trusting that judgment of yours. Seems like it's a bit off at times. I'm done here.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Judgment <> guessing what someone's motive for jumping on you in a message board thread might be.
If you can't see the difference between complaining about being overweight while shoveling garbage into one's mouth and not wanting to start World War 3 by calling the police on someone you have to work with every day, then I don't really know what to say. The situations are hardly congruous. But fear not, I have already devised a solution to ensure it doesn't happen again. I'm an idea man.
If you can't see the difference between complaining about being overweight while shoveling garbage into one's mouth and not wanting to start World War 3 by calling the police on someone you have to work with every day, then I don't really know what to say. The situations are hardly congruous. But fear not, I have already devised a solution to ensure it doesn't happen again. I'm an idea man.
pittstownkiller
Footballguy
You seem to enjoy thinking outside of the box. Why don't you crap right where she will get in, or out, of her car in the handicap spot.
T Bell
Footballguy
I would. You don't have to give your name. My grandfather had a leg blown off in WWII, this kind of crap irritates me to no end. I would have called the cops immediately.You call the police on co-workers often? You think it's a good idea to call the police on the head of HR? You sir, are an idiot.Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
Did the cat who blew off your grandfather's leg also park in a handicapped spot?(Also, did the Nazi handicapped symbol incorporate a swastika into it?)
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McGarnicle
Footballguy
I was with him a few times when handicapped spots were taken by cars parked there illegally and he had to walk really far on his crutches.I would. You don't have to give your name. My grandfather had a leg blown off in WWII, this kind of crap irritates me to no end. I would have called the cops immediately.You call the police on co-workers often? You think it's a good idea to call the police on the head of HR? You sir, are an idiot.Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
When they came for the handicapped spots, I said nothing...
T Bell
Footballguy
Then they came for wheelchairs, and I said, "I be rollin', they be hatin'!"
Chaka
Footballguy
Not that I really care about the slap fight between you and inca but I don't see how you would possibly get caught unless there are only two people in your company (you and her) or you cannot be trusted to keep your mouth shut in your own self interest.Call policeReport crimeDon't tell anyoneIt doesn't seem that difficult to me.
what if shes the police? betcha didnt think of that.
pittstownkiller
Footballguy
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Her husband is. I didn't really think I needed to get into every detail on this, but it's a possibility she could learn or deduce it was me and I'm not taking that risk. Like I said, I already found an alternative solution, so let's get back to the point of this thread, her disgusting eating habits.
mr. furley
Footballguy
we've got a "pig out" day scheduled this week. organized by a behemoth that was pushing 5 bills when i first started with the company. she had surgery to shrink the size of her stomach.. that lasted about a year before she decided that the small stomach was inhibiting her ability to eat, too much.
she went back to the doctor to have the cinch removed so she could return to her normally scheduled programming.
she is one of those women with a beanbag stuffed in her pants (great line, btw). every day she arrives with a plastic shopping bag full of various foods. bananas, apples, crackers, etc. every day. every day the food sits on her desk all day.. and goes in the trash at the days end. in the meantime she powers down fast food for lunch. every. day.
but not just, say, a single burger, small fry and a small soda. no. no way. if it's not a gallon of Chinese.. it's a double bacon cheeseburger, fries AND curds, soup of the day and a 44oz soda.
(side note: we were called in to a company wide conference call on wednesday.. minutes before the call i could hear her (she sits next to me) preparing a bowl of cereal. which she inhaled, sloppily. then, to the meeting, she brought in what had to be the biggest ####ing mixing bowl i have ever seen in my life.. filled with pudding(i think?) and proceeded to noisily wolf that down in the presence of 8 other people crammed in to a tiny conf room. within minutes of polishing that off she fell asleep. dead away.)
anyways, she had the brilliant idea to organize a St Pats lunch on thursday. she sent out an email with an excel sign-up sheet for people to add items they might bring. but INSISTED that all items be green. not Irish-centric, not desserts with green frosting, etc. "ALL ITEMS MUST BE GREEN OR DO NOT BRING THEM" read the email.
someone signed up with "chips". fatso immediately walked to this poor girls desk and asked if the chips would be green. when told "no", fuses were blown. i've never heard someone get dressed down for not following an arbitrary rule as ridiculous as "ALL FOOD GREEN".
i opened the spreadsheet before leaving work to see if anyone signed up for corned beef and cabbage. nope. but tubby signed up for green hamburgers. GREEN. HAMBURGERS.
uggh
talked to my supervisor the next day to see if maybe the boss' were bringing in the corned beef and cabbage and was told "no. it's not green. and it stinks."
this is going to be ####ing awesome
she went back to the doctor to have the cinch removed so she could return to her normally scheduled programming.
she is one of those women with a beanbag stuffed in her pants (great line, btw). every day she arrives with a plastic shopping bag full of various foods. bananas, apples, crackers, etc. every day. every day the food sits on her desk all day.. and goes in the trash at the days end. in the meantime she powers down fast food for lunch. every. day.
but not just, say, a single burger, small fry and a small soda. no. no way. if it's not a gallon of Chinese.. it's a double bacon cheeseburger, fries AND curds, soup of the day and a 44oz soda.
(side note: we were called in to a company wide conference call on wednesday.. minutes before the call i could hear her (she sits next to me) preparing a bowl of cereal. which she inhaled, sloppily. then, to the meeting, she brought in what had to be the biggest ####ing mixing bowl i have ever seen in my life.. filled with pudding(i think?) and proceeded to noisily wolf that down in the presence of 8 other people crammed in to a tiny conf room. within minutes of polishing that off she fell asleep. dead away.)
anyways, she had the brilliant idea to organize a St Pats lunch on thursday. she sent out an email with an excel sign-up sheet for people to add items they might bring. but INSISTED that all items be green. not Irish-centric, not desserts with green frosting, etc. "ALL ITEMS MUST BE GREEN OR DO NOT BRING THEM" read the email.
someone signed up with "chips". fatso immediately walked to this poor girls desk and asked if the chips would be green. when told "no", fuses were blown. i've never heard someone get dressed down for not following an arbitrary rule as ridiculous as "ALL FOOD GREEN".
i opened the spreadsheet before leaving work to see if anyone signed up for corned beef and cabbage. nope. but tubby signed up for green hamburgers. GREEN. HAMBURGERS.
uggh
talked to my supervisor the next day to see if maybe the boss' were bringing in the corned beef and cabbage and was told "no. it's not green. and it stinks."
this is going to be ####ing awesome
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T Bell
Footballguy
Bring her some lettuce.
Yep. And hey...instead of learning/exhibiting ANY willpower or self-control, there's a pill or surgery for that, right?!
Seriously, there should be a fat-### tax in our country on everything...since there's a "fried foods and cookie dough tax" of literally billions of dollars/year on all the rest of us who don't gorge ourselves on fat and sugar 24/7/365. Makes me SO angry...but I suppose the one "reward" the rest of us who aren't six years old when it comes to food/beverages is that fat ###es have to see themselves naked. Unless the diabetes has gotten so bad that they've lost their eyesight, anyway.
Kool-Aid Larry
Footballguy
T Bell
Footballguy
Do you ever seen any overweight ghosts?Yep. And hey...instead of learning/exhibiting ANY willpower or self-control, there's a pill or surgery for that, right?!
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Sign up for a loaf of bread. When she confronts you and asks if it's green, tell her it's not technically green, but the mold covering it is.
mr. furley
Footballguy
doing this
Nah. I see millions of soon-to-be overweight ghosts though. If they can't take the shovel and hose out of their mouth every day.Do you ever seen any overweight ghosts?Yep. And hey...instead of learning/exhibiting ANY willpower or self-control, there's a pill or surgery for that, right?!
T Bell
Footballguy
You just like the thought of Kerry smelling and rating farts, don't you?
shadyridr
Footballguy
Umm yeah
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
You can jar a fart. I did it for a white elephant gift once and couldn't stand the suspense, so I cracked it. Blasted myself in the face with it on Christmas Eve and then had to jar a new one.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
It was roughly 12 hours. I begged my mother to open the new one after she ended up with it, but she wouldn't. She wouldn't give it back to let me open it either.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
I've never done it, but in my imagination, calling the police on our HR director would be one of the most satisfying things I could do in my life. It would be the workplace equivalent of going back in time and assassinating Hitler.You call the police on co-workers often? You think it's a good idea to call the police on the head of HR? You sir, are an idiot.Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
John Bender
Footballguy
Great posting.I've never done it, but in my imagination, calling the police on our HR director would be one of the most satisfying things I could do in my life. It would be the workplace equivalent of going back in time and assassinating Hitler.You call the police on co-workers often? You think it's a good idea to call the police on the head of HR? You sir, are an idiot.Man it pisses me off when someone complains about something that shouldn't be happening, and then they go ahead and let it happen anyway as a result of a complete lack of any type of action.
Mister Martie
Footballguy
What. The. ####.'mr. furley said:
![[icon]](/data/avatars/m/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
[icon]
Insoxicated
Wait... So you see millions of ghosts that are gaining weight at an alarming pace?'datonn said:Nah. I see millions of soon-to-be overweight ghosts though. If they can't take the shovel and hose out of their mouth every day.'T Bell said:Do you ever seen any overweight ghosts?'datonn said:Yep. And hey...instead of learning/exhibiting ANY willpower or self-control, there's a pill or surgery for that, right?!
T Bell
Footballguy
To be fair, only in the upper midwest, and especially during midwinter.Wait... So you see millions of ghosts that are gaining weight at an alarming pace?'datonn said:Nah. I see millions of soon-to-be overweight ghosts though. If they can't take the shovel and hose out of their mouth every day.'T Bell said:Do you ever seen any overweight ghosts?'datonn said:Yep. And hey...instead of learning/exhibiting ANY willpower or self-control, there's a pill or surgery for that, right?!
mr roboto
Footballguy
Have you been to Alabama?http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/self-reported-obesity-study-us-map__oPt.jpgTo be fair, only in the upper midwest, and especially during midwinter.Wait... So you see millions of ghosts that are gaining weight at an alarming pace?'datonn said:Nah. I see millions of soon-to-be overweight ghosts though. If they can't take the shovel and hose out of their mouth every day.'T Bell said:Do you ever seen any overweight ghosts?'datonn said:Yep. And hey...instead of learning/exhibiting ANY willpower or self-control, there's a pill or surgery for that, right?!
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T Bell
Footballguy
perezhilton.com? Did your rainbow flag interfere with your fingers as you typed that into the address bar?
mr roboto
Footballguy
On a mobile. Did a google search. It's from the CDC.http://cdn3.chartsbin.com/chartimages/l_562_f2c66f587f8e5a39b1c7a83a5eede99bhttp://life.dailyburn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/map.jpghttp://www.uscollegesearch.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/The-fattest-states-in-america.gif
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T Bell
Footballguy
Self-reported. Someone's lying. We've got a lot of fat ##### (los gordos) out here in CA and somehow our state only shows up white on that map.
