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Body shamming people who don't work out while you try and look like the guy/gal on the fitness magazines (1 Viewer)

DJackson10

Footballguy
So I’m a totally body shamable guy who is now working out pretty heavily at a gym with an active social media presence and am somewhat inundated with fitness influencers. So I think I have a petty unique perspective on this.

Motivational bromides are just something you’re going to get in the fitness community. I think it’s understandable. You don’t get to look like a fitness influencer without being REALLY into working out. They find it energizing and motivating and they want to share it. Sometimes it’s hokey. As someone in much worse shape, it isn’t always motivating and energizing for me, but it still is more often than not, and I think there is probably less body shaming than in the past.

I know the people in my gym are very encouraging to me, even when I’m having to finish a push-up movement on my knees or something. Maybe it’s the nature of the group workout we do, but everyone is too busy getting their own asses kicked to judge anyone else. And there is a certain sense of community built by going through some particularly evil workout together. So people tend to share on social media. That, and we’re all thirsty bitches.

See you are in a group setting of like minded individuals. I'm sure you guys don't take yourselves too seriously either. I can't work out at a gym. One it's just too expensive for me and with not driving the gyms are a bit too far. Also I tried joining the local LAFitness but then realized most of the people going there including those who worked there were just too hardcore and overall judgmental. If I had time I have a friend who is a personal trainer but his and my schedules never work with one another. I'd join him for sure.

My overall issue is when you talk to some of the bromides about something you'd didn't like they get overly defensive. I've also noticed over the years these are the guys going to the bar trying to hit on every girl possible
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
I think it's more these people are more insecure and trying to deflect it on others
Nailed it. I don't think it's so much shaming others as it is part of the whole "look at me" mentality of Facebook, et al. Which I guess is part of the insecurity.
That’s it imo. Few people even think about others when they’re posting about their activities, except to want “likes”.

My Aunt and Uncle my Mom's oldest brother are guilty of this. Lets just say my Uncle is very well off. Lives in Upper PA North of Philly in a county called Bucks. A lot of the more well off people who travel to the city for work live there. About 45 min train ride from the local depending where in the city but usually Center City. My Aunt is always posting pics of vacations and going out to eat constantly. Meanwhile my one aunt and Uncle are struggle and see that on Facebook. I know at times it effects them too.

I have 2 friends in that category too who post like that. A few of us have said something to both in the past but they get overly defensive and start trying to put you down. The one barely worked for what he has. Parents paid for his entire college so no student loan debt and got a job with a company from his dad's friend and moved up quick do to the nepotism.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
No offense but this sounds rather paranoid. It’s easy to be offended when you go looking to be offended.

Thats kind of ******** as there's just a simple thing called being aware of your surroundings and acting like a decent human being. This isn't about canceling someone or as a certain group like to call it being woke. It's just common decency type stuff and there's a lot of ignorance in this world by a lot of people especially from the older generations who want to live in the past and not be held accountable for things that have changed in todays world. What may have been over 25 yrs ago may not be today. People adapt, become better people and educated on topics. The only people who seem upset by that are those being held accountable now
 

Dr. Octopus

Footballguy
I've also noticed over the years these are the guys going to the bar trying to hit on every girl possible

Is there something wrong with hitting on girls in your mind? Isn’t that what most guys in bars are doing - I mean unless they’re overly aggressive or lay hands on the woman, I’m failing to see the issue here.
 

Dr. Octopus

Footballguy
My Aunt is always posting pics of vacations and going out to eat constantly.

Most of social media is people showing off their “best lives”. I mean no one is going to post picture of them on the couch eating chips and watching the masked singer.

I really don’t say this to start ****, but why do you think you’re the arbiter of what’s acceptable for someone to post on Facebook?

I mean it’s easy to block anyone that annoys you on Facebook or other platforms - and in all honesty as others have said this may just be a perception issue on your part. These people aren’t necessarily looking to shame others and could just be happy to be on vacation or that they dropped 30 pounds - it’s ok to be ok with yourself.
 

belljr

Footballguy
Not enough time between work and kids
The people who "don't have time" to exercise are the same people who "can't afford" to save for retirement (or pay off their student loans) but go out to eat all the time, have brand new iPhones, etc., etc.

Do it or don't do it, that's up to you. But saying that you "don't have time" is a cop out.

Ah thats the mentality I was speaking of. Things are more expensive now. Most of the people I see saying these things aren't getting fancy iPhones etc but hey thanks for stereotyping whole generation as being lazy. I guess we should lace up those bootstraps and go find better jobs etc right......
Yeah the price of a mile walk and pushups sure have gone through the roof.

I say this a complete lazy slob...
 

Cjw_55106

Footballguy
I think it's more these people are more insecure and trying to deflect it on others
Nailed it. I don't think it's so much shaming others as it is part of the whole "look at me" mentality of Facebook, et al. Which I guess is part of the insecurity.
That’s it imo. Few people even think about others when they’re posting about their activities, except to want “likes”.

My Aunt and Uncle my Mom's oldest brother are guilty of this. Lets just say my Uncle is very well off. Lives in Upper PA North of Philly in a county called Bucks. A lot of the more well off people who travel to the city for work live there. About 45 min train ride from the local depending where in the city but usuall Center City. My Aunt is always posting pics of vacations and going out to eat constantly. Meanwhile my one aunt and Uncle are struggle and see on Facebook. I know at times it effects them too
I think the problem here is, they aren’t “guilty” of anything. The problem is, your second aunt and uncle are jealous. There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting pictures of your vacation or going out to eat. If other people doing that affects you, that’s a you problem not a they problem.
I fully realize I’m not going to change your mind, but not one person in this thread has agreed with you. That should say everything you need to know
 

Gally

Footballguy
Thats kind of ******** as there's just a simple thing called being aware of your surroundings and acting like a decent human being. This isn't about canceling someone or as a certain group like to call it being woke. It's just common decency type stuff and there's a lot of ignorance in this world by a lot of people especially from the older generations who want to live in the past and not be held accountable for things that have changed in todays world. What may have been over 25 yrs ago may not be today. People adapt, become better people and educated on topics. The only people who seem upset by that are those being held accountable now
There is also this thing about not reading extra into what is being said or posted. Just because someone posts a picture of them looking good after working hard doesn't mean they are shaming someone that isn't doing that. If you look at that picture and get shamed by it then that is on you.

Too many people miss the intent of the post and try to put their spin on the intent making it into something it's not. I don't see this as an accountability issue (based on your OP description). I haven't seen an example of anything that is "shaming" based on how it was presented here.
 

MTskibum

Footballguy
So I’m a totally body shamable guy who is now working out pretty heavily at a gym with an active social media presence and am somewhat inundated with fitness influencers. So I think I have a petty unique perspective on this.

Motivational bromides are just something you’re going to get in the fitness community. I think it’s understandable. You don’t get to look like a fitness influencer without being REALLY into working out. They find it energizing and motivating and they want to share it. Sometimes it’s hokey. As someone in much worse shape, it isn’t always motivating and energizing for me, but it still is more often than not, and I think there is probably less body shaming than in the past.

I know the people in my gym are very encouraging to me, even when I’m having to finish a push-up movement on my knees or something. Maybe it’s the nature of the group workout we do, but everyone is too busy getting their own asses kicked to judge anyone else. And there is a certain sense of community built by going through some particularly evil workout together. So people tend to share on social media. That, and we’re all thirsty bitches.

See you are in a group setting of like minded individuals. I'm sure you guys don't take yourselves too seriously either. I can't work out at a gym. One it's just too expensive for me and with not driving the gyms are a bit too far. Also I tried joining the local LAFitness but then realized most of the people going there including those who worked there were just too hardcore and overall judgmental. If I had time I have a friend who is a personal trainer but his and my schedules never work with one another. I'd join him for sure.

My overall issue is when you talk to some of the bromides about something you'd didn't like they get overly defensive. I've also noticed over the years these are the guys going to the bar trying to hit on every girl possible


I believe I have read in the past about how you have trouble in social situations. Just as an FYI, this looks to be related to that. As CJW pointed out 2 posts above mine everyone in this thread is disagreeing with you.

You are probably reading this social situation incorrectly, which is alright. Hopefully you take this as a learning experience.
 

Sabertooth

Footballguy
More annoying is the group workout after photos as if they concurred Everest. Killer workout today! You got this! Get it done! Boom!

It’s like, come and work with me on a job site for a day and see if you can handle that.
 

Zow

Footballguy
I think it's more these people are more insecure and trying to deflect it on others
Nailed it. I don't think it's so much shaming others as it is part of the whole "look at me" mentality of Facebook, et al. Which I guess is part of the insecurity.
That’s it imo. Few people even think about others when they’re posting about their activities, except to want “likes”.

My Aunt and Uncle my Mom's oldest brother are guilty of this. Lets just say my Uncle is very well off. Lives in Upper PA North of Philly in a county called Bucks. A lot of the more well off people who travel to the city for work live there. About 45 min train ride from the local depending where in the city but usually Center City. My Aunt is always posting pics of vacations and going out to eat constantly. Meanwhile my one aunt and Uncle are struggle and see that on Facebook. I know at times it effects them too.

I have 2 friends in that category too who post like that. A few of us have said something to both in the past but they get overly defensive and start trying to put you down. The one barely worked for what he has. Parents paid for his entire college so no student loan debt and got a job with a company from his dad's friend and moved up quick do to the nepotism.
Played some of my best baseball there. Also, Curly's in Levittown has killer cheesesteaks.
 

Sabertooth

Footballguy
More annoying is the group workout after photos as if they concurred Everest. Killer workout today! You got this! Get it done! Boom!

It’s like, come and work with me on a job site for a day and see if you can handle that.
Why are you job shaming my office position?

You try get these TPS reports ASAP and see if YOU can handle that.
Lol. I did that. I quit and don’t miss office work one bit.
 

Ghost Rider

Footballguy
What’s worse — body shaming, or obese people promoting “body positivity”, where now we’re supposed to “celebrate” all body types?

I've also noticed over the years these are the guys going to the bar trying to hit on every girl possible

Is there something wrong with hitting on girls in your mind? Isn’t that what most guys in bars are doing - I mean unless they’re overly aggressive or lay hands on the woman, I’m failing to see the issue here.
Agreed. And let's face it, looking good, being healthy and being in a good shape makes you feel more confident, and the more confidence you have, the easier it is to hit on the pretty girls at the bar.
I think it's more these people are more insecure and trying to deflect it on others
Nailed it. I don't think it's so much shaming others as it is part of the whole "look at me" mentality of Facebook, et al. Which I guess is part of the insecurity.
That’s it imo. Few people even think about others when they’re posting about their activities, except to want “likes”.

My Aunt and Uncle my Mom's oldest brother are guilty of this. Lets just say my Uncle is very well off. Lives in Upper PA North of Philly in a county called Bucks. A lot of the more well off people who travel to the city for work live there. About 45 min train ride from the local depending where in the city but usuall Center City. My Aunt is always posting pics of vacations and going out to eat constantly. Meanwhile my one aunt and Uncle are struggle and see on Facebook. I know at times it effects them too
I think the problem here is, they aren’t “guilty” of anything. The problem is, your second aunt and uncle are jealous. There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting pictures of your vacation or going out to eat. If other people doing that affects you, that’s a you problem not a they problem.
I fully realize I’m not going to change your mind, but not one person in this thread has agreed with you. That should say everything you need to know
Agreed.
 

-OZ-

Footballguy
I think it's more these people are more insecure and trying to deflect it on others
Nailed it. I don't think it's so much shaming others as it is part of the whole "look at me" mentality of Facebook, et al. Which I guess is part of the insecurity.
That’s it imo. Few people even think about others when they’re posting about their activities, except to want “likes”.

My Aunt and Uncle my Mom's oldest brother are guilty of this. Lets just say my Uncle is very well off. Lives in Upper PA North of Philly in a county called Bucks. A lot of the more well off people who travel to the city for work live there. About 45 min train ride from the local depending where in the city but usually Center City. My Aunt is always posting pics of vacations and going out to eat constantly. Meanwhile my one aunt and Uncle are struggle and see that on Facebook. I know at times it effects them too.

I have 2 friends in that category too who post like that. A few of us have said something to both in the past but they get overly defensive and start trying to put you down. The one barely worked for what he has. Parents paid for his entire college so no student loan debt and got a job with a company from his dad's friend and moved up quick do to the nepotism.
Played some of my best baseball there. Also, Curly's in Levittown has killer cheesesteaks.
How dare you shame us for not playing baseball!
 

Sabertooth

Footballguy
More annoying is the group workout after photos as if they concurred Everest. Killer workout today! You got this! Get it done! Boom!

It’s like, come and work with me on a job site for a day and see if you can handle that.
Lol. I enjoyed my infantry days a lot more than the office but the office ain’t half bad sometimes.
I found myself just mindlessly surfing the internet. Just no motivation at all. It wasn't for me.
 

BassNBrew

IBL Representative
Not enough time between work and kids
The people who "don't have time" to exercise are the same people who "can't afford" to save for retirement (or pay off their student loans) but go out to eat all the time, have brand new iPhones, etc., etc.

Do it or don't do it, that's up to you. But saying that you "don't have time" is a cop out.

Ah thats the mentality I was speaking of. Things are more expensive now. Most of the people I see saying these things aren't getting fancy iPhones etc but hey thanks for stereotyping whole generation as being lazy. I guess we should lace up those bootstraps and go find better jobs etc right......

Probably aren't going to be able to reach those bootstraps being so fat.

Tough issue. I don't want to see peoples feelings hurt to the point of depression, etc. On the other hand as someone who has the measureables of an NFL lineman right now, it's not healthy. Your kids and family most likely want your around. Is it shaming when your doctor tells you to lose weight or die young?
 

STEADYMOBBIN 22

Footballguy
So I’m a totally body shamable guy who is now working out pretty heavily at a gym with an active social media presence and am somewhat inundated with fitness influencers. So I think I have a petty unique perspective on this.

Motivational bromides are just something you’re going to get in the fitness community. I think it’s understandable. You don’t get to look like a fitness influencer without being REALLY into working out. They find it energizing and motivating and they want to share it. Sometimes it’s hokey. As someone in much worse shape, it isn’t always motivating and energizing for me, but it still is more often than not, and I think there is probably less body shaming than in the past.

I know the people in my gym are very encouraging to me, even when I’m having to finish a push-up movement on my knees or something. Maybe it’s the nature of the group workout we do, but everyone is too busy getting their own asses kicked to judge anyone else. And there is a certain sense of community built by going through some particularly evil workout together. So people tend to share on social media. That, and we’re all thirsty bitches.

See you are in a group setting of like minded individuals. I'm sure you guys don't take yourselves too seriously either. I can't work out at a gym. One it's just too expensive for me and with not driving the gyms are a bit too far. Also I tried joining the local LAFitness but then realized most of the people going there including those who worked there were just too hardcore and overall judgmental. If I had time I have a friend who is a personal trainer but his and my schedules never work with one another. I'd join him for sure.

My overall issue is when you talk to some of the bromides about something you'd didn't like they get overly defensive. I've also noticed over the years these are the guys going to the bar trying to hit on every girl possible


C/mon man. DJAX, Im one of your biggest supporters so dont take this the wrong way - Youre wrong here. Youre the one being judgmental in this case and several other posts in this very thread.

Im guilty of this sometimes too. Look, I used to think everyone was a moron and that my opinion is the only way people should see things. Unfortunately for me, none of that is true. Other people have their own thoughts, opinions, likes, dislikes and moral compass'. Took me longer than it should have to not so much learn that, but truly grasp it. Just because you see something so clearly that you cant even fathom how anyone could disagree trust me, they do.

In that similar vein, its super important to instead of looking at others - to look at yourself. I know, super corny, but it's true. Why does it bother you that these other dudes are talking to all the girls? Don't you wish you we're confident and had the charisma to be able to walk up to a total stranger and not only not botch it, but have the other person under your spell? Do you think it makes you upset because you're not that person? It's ok. that doesnt mean youre a shmuck. It just means you dont have those skills because you haven't exercised them yet.

Just as important as it is to focus on your positive traits, its just as important to embrace your weaknesses. Find your flaws. Br critical of yourself. Be humble. Challenge yourself.

Also, you have time to exercise. It is 100% free.
 
I think it comes down to this. There is absolutely no doubt that some fit people look down on me because I'm fat. And when they first see me at the gym, I'm sure their first thought is that I'm a tourist. That I'll quit coming. That I won't work hard. That I'll be back to sitting on my couch demolishing cases of Ho Hos within a month. We tend to have some sort of thread about that here every time the New Years' Resolution crowd starts back up at the gyms. And it's understandable. Maybe it would be better if we never had uncharitable thoughts, but it's not as if I don't have uncharitable thoughts if a see a gym bro wearing an Affliction type t-shirt (or whatever the equivalent of that would be in 2022, don't hate me because I don't keep up). If you're not actively being a douche to me, I'll try not to be a douche to you. And we're good. I've been around enough and acquired enough self-loathing that you can't possibly have thoughts about me that are any more uncharitable than I have about myself.

But even considering that and the fact that I'm about as unsentimental a person as I can imagine, it nevertheless does feel good when someone who is fit takes the time to come talk to me and encourage the work I'm trying to do. Not in a grandmotherly pinch me cheeks and say, "look at the fatass trying to exercise!" kind of way, but just talking about what movements were killer and generally commiserating over the workout and talking about how doing it consistently makes it a bit easier. Or as one guy told me, "you don't really stop feeling like you're getting your *** kicked, you just kind of develop Stockholm Syndrome to getting your *** kicked."

On a more general point, we all have issues and topics where we're tone-deaf. Maybe we like to post pictures of things we do without considering the privilege involved in leading that lifestyle or whether it makes it look like we're begging for reassurance. Maybe we post our receipts when we order at an expensive steak house. Or maybe we constantly refer to stuff we heard about in a certain field of information as coming from our "sources." Maybe we try to play the expert in any conversation where legal issues are involved and come across as arrogant asses :-)raises hand:). We can certainly recognize those things. Maybe even gently make fun of them, but I think we should also accept that they generally don't come from a place of malevolence and try to extend a little grace and understanding when we encounter them.
 
Or maybe we constantly refer to stuff we heard about in a certain field of information as coming from our "sources."
I see what you did there.
I hope I did it gently. I think a lot of us probably had our eyes opened a bit when Djackson disclosed that he's on the spectrum. It made me feel bad {c'on language filter, be on the ball} for having uncharitable thoughts when I'd see it in wrestling threads that I don't even post in.
 

Dr. Octopus

Footballguy
Or maybe we constantly refer to stuff we heard about in a certain field of information as coming from our "sources."
I see what you did there.
I hope I did it gently. I think a lot of us probably had our eyes opened a bit when Djackson disclosed that he's on the spectrum. It made me feel bad {c'on language filter, be on the ball} for having uncharitable thoughts when I'd see it in wrestling threads that I don't even post in.
it happens across the board and across all sports - not just the wrestling thread (which I have never even ventured into). I did not read your comment as malicious - just a slight poke to open his eyes to your broader point.
 

Zow

Footballguy

flapgreen

Footballguy
I think it comes down to this. There is absolutely no doubt that some fit people look down on me because I'm fat. And when they first see me at the gym, I'm sure their first thought is that I'm a tourist. That I'll quit coming. That I won't work hard. That I'll be back to sitting on my couch demolishing cases of Ho Hos within a month. We tend to have some sort of thread about that here every time the New Years' Resolution crowd starts back up at the gyms. And it's understandable. Maybe it would be better if we never had uncharitable thoughts, but it's not as if I don't have uncharitable thoughts if a see a gym bro wearing an Affliction type t-shirt (or whatever the equivalent of that would be in 2022, don't hate me because I don't keep up). If you're not actively being a douche to me, I'll try not to be a douche to you. And we're good. I've been around enough and acquired enough self-loathing that you can't possibly have thoughts about me that are any more uncharitable than I have about myself.

But even considering that and the fact that I'm about as unsentimental a person as I can imagine, it nevertheless does feel good when someone who is fit takes the time to come talk to me and encourage the work I'm trying to do. Not in a grandmotherly pinch me cheeks and say, "look at the fatass trying to exercise!" kind of way, but just talking about what movements were killer and generally commiserating over the workout and talking about how doing it consistently makes it a bit easier. Or as one guy told me, "you don't really stop feeling like you're getting your *** kicked, you just kind of develop Stockholm Syndrome to getting your *** kicked."

On a more general point, we all have issues and topics where we're tone-deaf. Maybe we like to post pictures of things we do without considering the privilege involved in leading that lifestyle or whether it makes it look like we're begging for reassurance. Maybe we post our receipts when we order at an expensive steak house. Or maybe we constantly refer to stuff we heard about in a certain field of information as coming from our "sources." Maybe we try to play the expert in any conversation where legal issues are involved and come across as arrogant asses :-)raises hand:). We can certainly recognize those things. Maybe even gently make fun of them, but I think we should also accept that they generally don't come from a place of malevolence and try to extend a little grace and understanding when we encounter them.
I'm very fit, and I like fat people just the same as skinny people. Unless a person is just heinous looking and unkempt, it doesn't even register with me if they're "fit.". Most of my closest and best friends that I grew up with aren't fit. It doesn't matter to me. But I'm middle aged and don't post pics of myself online either. That would be weird.
 

MAC_32

Footballguy
I think it comes down to this. There is absolutely no doubt that some fit people look down on me because I'm fat. And when they first see me at the gym, I'm sure their first thought is that I'm a tourist. That I'll quit coming. That I won't work hard. That I'll be back to sitting on my couch demolishing cases of Ho Hos within a month. We tend to have some sort of thread about that here every time the New Years' Resolution crowd starts back up at the gyms. And it's understandable. Maybe it would be better if we never had uncharitable thoughts, but it's not as if I don't have uncharitable thoughts if a see a gym bro wearing an Affliction type t-shirt (or whatever the equivalent of that would be in 2022, don't hate me because I don't keep up). If you're not actively being a douche to me, I'll try not to be a douche to you. And we're good. I've been around enough and acquired enough self-loathing that you can't possibly have thoughts about me that are any more uncharitable than I have about myself.

But even considering that and the fact that I'm about as unsentimental a person as I can imagine, it nevertheless does feel good when someone who is fit takes the time to come talk to me and encourage the work I'm trying to do. Not in a grandmotherly pinch me cheeks and say, "look at the fatass trying to exercise!" kind of way, but just talking about what movements were killer and generally commiserating over the workout and talking about how doing it consistently makes it a bit easier. Or as one guy told me, "you don't really stop feeling like you're getting your *** kicked, you just kind of develop Stockholm Syndrome to getting your *** kicked."

On a more general point, we all have issues and topics where we're tone-deaf. Maybe we like to post pictures of things we do without considering the privilege involved in leading that lifestyle or whether it makes it look like we're begging for reassurance. Maybe we post our receipts when we order at an expensive steak house. Or maybe we constantly refer to stuff we heard about in a certain field of information as coming from our "sources." Maybe we try to play the expert in any conversation where legal issues are involved and come across as arrogant asses :-)raises hand:). We can certainly recognize those things. Maybe even gently make fun of them, but I think we should also accept that they generally don't come from a place of malevolence and try to extend a little grace and understanding when we encounter them.
I don't talk to others when I am at the gym and expect the same returned. Any time you run into someone that seeks out eye contact and gives you a head nod assume they're saying the same thing as you mentioned above. We're just there to do work and not chit chat...we're rooting for others though.
 

Ghost Rider

Footballguy
I want to add as well that the idea that is too expensive to eat healthy is nonsense. Yes, some healthy foods can be not cheap, but fast food and crap like that isn't exactly cheap these days either. If you do enough digging and shopping around, you can find plenty of good prices on healthier foods. Thinking otherwise is just another excuse some make to not be healthy, and I say that as someone who eats a lot of crap, but is fortunate to stay around 190-195 lbs (at 5'11").
 

Dr. Octopus

Footballguy
I want to add as well that the idea that is too expensive to eat healthy is nonsense. Yes, some healthy foods can be not cheap, but fast food and crap like that isn't exactly cheap these days either. If you do enough digging and shopping around, you can find plenty of good prices on healthier foods. Thinking otherwise is just another excuse some make to not be healthy, and I say that as someone who eats a lot of crap, but is fortunate to stay around 190-195 lbs (at 5'11").
I eat fairly healthy - it’s really not that much more expensive (if at all). Fruits and vegetables are not expensive generally (heck I can buy 4-5 bananas for under $1) and a lot of the processed junk is not cheap either.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
I've also noticed over the years these are the guys going to the bar trying to hit on every girl possible

Is there something wrong with hitting on girls in your mind? Isn’t that what most guys in bars are doing - I mean unless they’re overly aggressive or lay hands on the woman, I’m failing to see the issue here.

It's the over aggressiveness and the way they act. You can tell all they are trying to do is get a good lay and nothing more. And they are usually hitting on girls that it's pretty obvious they got a guy there. I've had several of my female companions who had their dates with us get hit on. One guy was hitting on my Girlfriend the one time. We all played it cool then I remembered this guy played the same dog and pony show up at the corner bar near my house about a month back. He got handsy with a few other girls. A few of us said something and we took it outside. Lets just say he got what he deserved and when the cops came the owner who knows most of us and everyone there said it was self defense and he got handsy with a few of the girls. Local cops were like whatever took him away. Don't think he tried pressing charges on anyone because I think he knew right there he wasn't going to win.

Never saw the guy in the area again
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
I really don’t say this to start ****, but why do you think you’re the arbiter of what’s acceptable for someone to post on Facebook?

I mean it’s easy to block anyone that annoys you on Facebook or other platforms - and in all honesty as others have said this may just be a perception issue on your part. These people aren’t necessarily looking to shame others and could just be happy to be on vacation or that they dropped 30 pounds - it’s ok to be ok with yourself.

I don't think you get what I was saying here. I'm fine with them being ok with that. I just hate the toxic masculinity type posts. @gruecd comment above is the type of crap I see being posted. You don't know what people are going through. Maybe their parents bought them the phone you don't know. People go through stuff all the time.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
Not enough time between work and kids
The people who "don't have time" to exercise are the same people who "can't afford" to save for retirement (or pay off their student loans) but go out to eat all the time, have brand new iPhones, etc., etc.

Do it or don't do it, that's up to you. But saying that you "don't have time" is a cop out.

Ah thats the mentality I was speaking of. Things are more expensive now. Most of the people I see saying these things aren't getting fancy iPhones etc but hey thanks for stereotyping whole generation as being lazy. I guess we should lace up those bootstraps and go find better jobs etc right......
Yeah the price of a mile walk and pushups sure have gone through the roof.

I say this a complete lazy slob...

I agree it's not however some people just don't have the time for it. They either work 75hrs a week just to get by, maybe have young kids or a single parent. My mom's coworker is dealing with stuff at work told them she was leaving for a better position. She needs to work from home do to 2 younger kids with health issues which the hospital does allow. She's overworked, has to take her kids to practices, never has time to cook dinner etc. She's so overworked after doing that she just wants to go to bed. She use to workout constantly before all of this. It was so bad even her husband noticed it and told her she needed to quit or find a new job. He works a lot but travels for work so he's not always home to help out. This is the people I'm talking about.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
I fully realize I’m not going to change your mind, but not one person in this thread has agreed with you. That should say everything you need to know

I think that just shows the age gap difference here. I'm almost a decade or more younger then most here. Different mind set. All this thread has shown me is a lot of people maybe are just ignorant to todays surroundings and world. Different generations different views here. My generation is more accommodating to these issues, sharing feelings, accepting etc. My guess here is a few people in this thread are defensive about this because they are guilty of doing it themselves and trying come up with a reason why this is acceptable.

And trust me I'm not calling anyone personally out here since I don't know everyones life here outside of this.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
Not enough time between work and kids
The people who "don't have time" to exercise are the same people who "can't afford" to save for retirement (or pay off their student loans) but go out to eat all the time, have brand new iPhones, etc., etc.

Do it or don't do it, that's up to you. But saying that you "don't have time" is a cop out.

Ah thats the mentality I was speaking of. Things are more expensive now. Most of the people I see saying these things aren't getting fancy iPhones etc but hey thanks for stereotyping whole generation as being lazy. I guess we should lace up those bootstraps and go find better jobs etc right......

Probably aren't going to be able to reach those bootstraps being so fat.

Tough issue. I don't want to see peoples feelings hurt to the point of depression, etc. On the other hand as someone who has the measureables of an NFL lineman right now, it's not healthy. Your kids and family most likely want your around. Is it shaming when your doctor tells you to lose weight or die young?

Completely different thats your dr. There's a way to tell people to help them. I've noticed some either don't know how to talk and think they are helping but aren't at all. Then you just got the person who's bragging and just looking down on you telling this because they are an ignorant selfish person

However people are falling In depressions of because of things said online. Its a form of internet bullying. Say I start calling someone online fat ugly and lazy and you should work out. Be a man etc etc. Say they are in a depression and end up committing suicide. If someone sees my comments online to them I'm responsible and could be charged with online bullying that led to someone killing themselves. There was a case a year or so on this about some supposed friends of a guy picking on him. Hegot depressed and committed suicide. Judge ruled it was online bullying. The Girlfriend was the biggest culprit because she made comments about how he should kill himself. They are all in jail now.

Japan has a law against online bullying. It's up to 1 yrs in prison and I think a big fine as well. And they take it pretty dam seriously too.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
Thats kind of ******** as there's just a simple thing called being aware of your surroundings and acting like a decent human being. This isn't about canceling someone or as a certain group like to call it being woke. It's just common decency type stuff and there's a lot of ignorance in this world by a lot of people especially from the older generations who want to live in the past and not be held accountable for things that have changed in todays world. What may have been over 25 yrs ago may not be today. People adapt, become better people and educated on topics. The only people who seem upset by that are those being held accountable now
There is also this thing about not reading extra into what is being said or posted. Just because someone posts a picture of them looking good after working hard doesn't mean they are shaming someone that isn't doing that. If you look at that picture and get shamed by it then that is on you.

Too many people miss the intent of the post and try to put their spin on the intent making it into something it's not. I don't see this as an accountability issue (based on your OP description). I haven't seen an example of anything that is "shaming" based on how it was presented here.

I think this article does good job of explaining a few of the things. I'm not talking just posting a body pic which is what I think some are confused of. I'm talking posting a body pic and then bragging about great you feel and how your a real man. Then they ad the fluff of there's only Men and women not he/they, etc cis, etc etc. I don't care if you are offended by this or not suck it up. Quoting people like James Keanu 'SP" etc The post run into homophobia and misogyny

This article goes into some examples of toxic masculinity.

 

DJackson10

Footballguy
So I’m a totally body shamable guy who is now working out pretty heavily at a gym with an active social media presence and am somewhat inundated with fitness influencers. So I think I have a petty unique perspective on this.

Motivational bromides are just something you’re going to get in the fitness community. I think it’s understandable. You don’t get to look like a fitness influencer without being REALLY into working out. They find it energizing and motivating and they want to share it. Sometimes it’s hokey. As someone in much worse shape, it isn’t always motivating and energizing for me, but it still is more often than not, and I think there is probably less body shaming than in the past.

I know the people in my gym are very encouraging to me, even when I’m having to finish a push-up movement on my knees or something. Maybe it’s the nature of the group workout we do, but everyone is too busy getting their own asses kicked to judge anyone else. And there is a certain sense of community built by going through some particularly evil workout together. So people tend to share on social media. That, and we’re all thirsty bitches.

See you are in a group setting of like minded individuals. I'm sure you guys don't take yourselves too seriously either. I can't work out at a gym. One it's just too expensive for me and with not driving the gyms are a bit too far. Also I tried joining the local LAFitness but then realized most of the people going there including those who worked there were just too hardcore and overall judgmental. If I had time I have a friend who is a personal trainer but his and my schedules never work with one another. I'd join him for sure.

My overall issue is when you talk to some of the bromides about something you'd didn't like they get overly defensive. I've also noticed over the years these are the guys going to the bar trying to hit on every girl possible


I believe I have read in the past about how you have trouble in social situations. Just as an FYI, this looks to be related to that. As CJW pointed out 2 posts above mine everyone in this thread is disagreeing with you.

You are probably reading this social situation incorrectly, which is alright. Hopefully you take this as a learning experience.

I don't think I'm reading it wrong at all. I'm figuring out I'm a completely generation from most in this thread and I'm probably not going to change a lot of opinions here honestly.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
More annoying is the group workout after photos as if they concurred Everest. Killer workout today! You got this! Get it done! Boom!

It’s like, come and work with me on a job site for a day and see if you can handle that.

Those can be annoying more so then anything and I could see why. My cousin posts some of these but his aren't meant in a bad way. The gym he goes to which is a CrossFit type thing has a large group who enjoy working together. Tight group who respect one another and help each other with their goals which is something I like. I've gone to a few of these workouts with him just to see what it's like. They were pretty fun and the group was pretty accepting of me. They even invited me back and I've received some advice on stuff I can do myself
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
I think it's more these people are more insecure and trying to deflect it on others
Nailed it. I don't think it's so much shaming others as it is part of the whole "look at me" mentality of Facebook, et al. Which I guess is part of the insecurity.
That’s it imo. Few people even think about others when they’re posting about their activities, except to want “likes”.

My Aunt and Uncle my Mom's oldest brother are guilty of this. Lets just say my Uncle is very well off. Lives in Upper PA North of Philly in a county called Bucks. A lot of the more well off people who travel to the city for work live there. About 45 min train ride from the local depending where in the city but usually Center City. My Aunt is always posting pics of vacations and going out to eat constantly. Meanwhile my one aunt and Uncle are struggle and see that on Facebook. I know at times it effects them too.

I have 2 friends in that category too who post like that. A few of us have said something to both in the past but they get overly defensive and start trying to put you down. The one barely worked for what he has. Parents paid for his entire college so no student loan debt and got a job with a company from his dad's friend and moved up quick do to the nepotism.
Played some of my best baseball there. Also, Curly's in Levittown has killer cheesesteaks.

They live in a town called Newton PA. Some unfortunately got the town confused with the school shooting in Newtown Conn after that happened. The two main HS are Council Rock North and South. My Cousin played for the original Council Rock but the district got so big they had to make 2 different HS.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
Agreed. And let's face it, looking good, being healthy and being in a good shape makes you feel more confident, and the more confidence you have, the easier it is to hit on the pretty girls at the bar.

Honestly if thats all thats all the girl cares about I'm not interested. I want them interested in most of me not just because I look good or have the most money. Thats just a girl who has zero confidence in herself.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
In that similar vein, its super important to instead of looking at others - to look at yourself. I know, super corny, but it's true. Why does it bother you that these other dudes are talking to all the girls? Don't you wish you we're confident and had the charisma to be able to walk up to a total stranger and not only not botch it, but have the other person under your spell? Do you think it makes you upset because you're not that person? It's ok. that doesnt mean youre a shmuck. It just means you dont have those skills because you haven't exercised them yet.

Just as important as it is to focus on your positive traits, its just as important to embrace your weaknesses. Find your flaws. Br critical of yourself. Be humble. Challenge yourself.

Also, you have time to exercise. It is 100% free.

I got zero problem with guys talking to girls. I got a problem with douchbags talking them when they clearly got a date or with a guy. I'm talking about the guy who comes into the bar and instantly you know they are going to be a problem that night. Huge ego etc.

I actually know a few of these people posting things. Trust me this is what made me post about this. A few mean what they are saying, aren't being helpful etc. The parts that bother me are the homophobia in their posts the most. I got a male cousin who's gay and another 2nd cousin at a young age a male who thinks he's a girl, wears girls clothes, plays with girl dolls etc. The other part that bothers me is I know they are doing it on purpose to get a reaction plus a few have had accounts suspended etc for posting some of the stuff they did on that.

I'm not talking about myself not having time. I'm more so saying theres people who don't because they are overworked, too depressed etc. That's probably the other part that bothers me too. You don't know what someone is going through. I talked about my mom's friend who she worked with above. Use to workout constantly with her current job overworked, has kids with health issues can't work out. She's a very good looking Puerto Rican girl maybe a little younger than me. I've met her in person and seeing picks of her now you can tell she hasn't worked out in a long time. For me you can't just say people have time to exercise and I know you didn't mean it in a bad way. You just don't know someone's situation.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
On a more general point, we all have issues and topics where we're tone-deaf. Maybe we like to post pictures of things we do without considering the privilege involved in leading that lifestyle or whether it makes it look like we're begging for reassurance. Maybe we post our receipts when we order at an expensive steak house. Or maybe we constantly refer to stuff we heard about in a certain field of information as coming from our "sources." Maybe we try to play the expert in any conversation where legal issues are involved and come across as arrogant asses :-)raises hand:). We can certainly recognize those things. Maybe even gently make fun of them, but I think we should also accept that they generally don't come from a place of malevolence and try to extend a little grace and understanding when we encounter them.

This is more of my general point. Maybe its not arrogance or selfishness but a lot of people are tone deaf or can't read the room. I already talked about my aunt posting stuff online and a family members family being in a worse shape. Whenever we're all together she talks about the fancy events they've attended etc. They got a time share in ST Martin's and always posting about it online. Facebook has at the very least a way where you can hide certain posts from people and she clearly doesn't it. Like if I don't want my mom seeing a post I don't want her to know about like a birthday party for her 6Oth I an go to my post and theres a tab asking who can see for example, Public, Friends only, Family only, etc and then has a option to maybe type in certain people on your friends list names. The best part is after you set that up it becomes an option later. She doesn't even do that.

So in a way she's still posting. I don't think she does it to be mean though. She's just very tone deaf and was entitled growing up. She's changed my uncle too in a way. My Uncle has my Grandfathers Eagles season tickets. I use to go for free. I have friends or coworkers with families with Season tickets who share or let someone in the family take them for free if they can't go. My uncle has us all pay and thats because my Aunt wants it that way. She doesn't want to lose one cent. I know if it was my cousins decision he'd either discount the ticket for me or give it for free.

And don't get me started on the sources thing. I'm not guilty of that. I more so if I hear something interesting I'll share it but some people get so jealous or upset over that too.

The lawyers one is a pretty good one too.

As for the stuff I forgot to quote yeah I'm talking about the douchbag at the gym which btw having a Tap Out shirt now is that equivalent with all the UFC fans. And honestly these UFC types are probably the biggest guilty party of them all based on my experience here on this very topic. I don't mind someone coming over offering advice either I want it. I just don't want it from someone trying to act like the know it all or the douchey guy. I think you perfectly summed up where I was trying to go with this overall though.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
To the OP @DJackson10 I recommend googling "Joey Swoll" and watching his videos. He puts gym snobs in their places by making actually quite salient points.

Here's a sample:

I love this for so many reasons. I hate Tik TOC but I've seen videos like this before of people being accused of stuff. I and another coworker got accused by a female customer of this. Luckily other customers witnessed this and said we both only looked because she bumped into me before she bent over. Was she good looking? I can admit she had a nice butt and she was wearing yoga pants but I wasn't trying to stare at her like some creep either. She also wasn't that great good looking other then that either. She didn't even apologize for bumping into me. And the security camera clearly showed when I looked I made motions with my body with the "are you serious" and looking annoyed.
 

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