Ok we've had another couple rounds of test drives and have landed at one of two cars:
1. Lexus RX350 Premium (they make pricing this very annoying but it seems somewhere between $53-61k based on what features it has or doesn't have and my own ability to negotiate)
2. Toyota RAV4 Limited (they immediately had one similar but with some extra features and the "wrong" color for $43k...to which I said "I get you don't have one without this add-on, but I'm not paying for it whether you give it to me or not" and they immediately knocked $1k off lol)
We eliminated the following cars through various testing of size (not big enough for me with car seats behind both seats), size (too big and unwieldy for my wife to like it), drive feel (e.g., braking responsiveness, acceleration), and features (kick sensor trunk, digital rearview mirror, remote start from app for climate control, does the infotainment seem unwieldy or streamlined).
- Honda CRV (next best, but a little narrow)
- Mazda CX-50 (not enough legroom)
- Mazda CX-70 and 90 (too big when driving)
- 2022 and earlier Lexus RX350 (kind of clunky, not as spacious)
- Toyota Highlander (too big, heavy for braking - but this is likely the purchase in ~7 years when she gives in and wants a bigger car)
- Subaru Forester (not enough legroom)
- Subaru Outback (really clunky infotainment straight outta 2006)
- Acura RDX (poor acceleration, didn't love driving, clunky infotainment)
- Hyundai Tucson (too cheap)
- Hyundai Palisade (too cheap and felt too big)
- Nissan Rogue (actually met some stuff nicely, but interior space was meh as was accel/braking)
- Nissan Pathfinder (close to Highlander, actually liked a lot, but felt a little too big)
- Range Rover Sport (not reliable enough)
- Everything from Ford and Chevy (lower resale value, reliability)
So it's been a pretty thorough examination of options. Now it comes down to 2 things:
A. How much ($$) more she likes the Lexus (answer seems to be ~$10k for better drive, room/feel, comfort, and some additional features/features that work better)
B. What price we can get for each
I think I can get the RAV4 down to around $39k (or maybe more, but confident I can get down to that), but the Lexus I'm not sure I could get down even to the $53k it "should" cost for what we want - they only have like $58k versions with extra crap we don't need and it feels like I have less leverage with them because basically all their inventory is already sold a month or two out.
So I've got to try and get better negotiating with the Lexus (starting by hitting different dealers, as apparently the way they allot, other dealers take more basic ones without these added things we don't care about). Then think about timing - a 2024 should immediately get cheaper when people start preferring 2025s, we don't need the car til like Jan at the earliest, I can wait for an EOM sales incentive window...I can probably get the Lexus down a bit, but all those things apply to the Toyota too, so I imagine we're gonna end up at around a $15k gap.
Then...add in the difference in insurance costs, premium gas vs regular...and I'm pretty sure we'll end up with the RAV4. I married a woman similarly practical to me so I think she's gonna have a tough time paying extra for something she likes more, but not THAT much more.
That said...$15k and an extra $1-2k/year in carrying costs is well within budget. That's one month's salary after tax (of mine. It's like 1.5 months of hers). So in the interest of the marriage, I've been very clear that it's entirely up to her and we could purchase either and it's her choice and I'll be supportive and try to get the best deal possible in either case.
Appreciate any thoughts or tips and tricks specific to car negotiations. And also if you ever wanna know what someone who's researched and driven all those cars, is 6'2", and will have two infant and rear facing car seats in the second row, let me know LOL.