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Christmas gifts for adults (2 Viewers)

How many adults do you gift?

  • 0

    Votes: 8 16.7%

  • 1

    Votes: 5 10.4%

  • 2-4

    Votes: 18 37.5%

  • 5-10

    Votes: 12 25.0%

  • 11+

    Votes: 5 10.4%
  • Total voters
    48
Terminalxylem

Terminalxylem

Footballguy
My wife, who is extremely thoughtful and generous, was asking about Christmas gifts for coworkers today. She had just returned from work, and noticed a couple of presents left for me (we have a shared locker), from people whom I had not purchased a gift, nor planned to.

As background, I work in a group of 80+ people, of whom I consistently interact with about a dozen. My wife buys presents for most of their kids, and at least ten coworkers as well.

I don’t usually buy any work gifts, but receive a handful of small items every year - candy/cookies, wine, small gadgets and gift cards. My wife includes most of those people in her gift-giving, but not all of them.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t really want or need any more stuff, or comfort food. And I despise shopping. I usually only get gifts for my wife +/- father-in-law, and occasionally a friend or two (usually climbing partners, upon whom I entrust my life). Meanwhile, my wife buys all the work gifts + many more for other friends and family.

Am I being a jerk here? Excluding kids‘ gifts, how many presents do you give?
 
2 Parents, 2 In-laws and 1 Grandparent for us. I think it's a bit ridiculous but not fighting that battle.
 
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How does one tell someone not to buy them gifts with any artfulness? Asking for a friend. No, I'm asking for me. My brother and his ex-wife (yes) buy me gifts because I've given my nephew and niece gifts all these years and I think they want to even it out. I think it's ridiculous and tell them not to, but they do anyway. I'm not sure I'm not forceful enough or am I just too grateful when I get said gifts? I never want to seem rude so I thank them a lot. But I have no idea how to get them to stop without being curt about it in some fashion or another. I feel guilty. It's so sweet of them, but really.

I think I'm losing hair on the back of my head, too, but that's neither here nor there. I just did a reverse selfie. Looks like some balding going on.
 
I get a case or two of decent champagne every year and give bottles to my co workers and neighbors and friends until it’s gone. Nothing super fancy, but everyone deserves a decent bottle of champagne once in a while. This year I got this one - https://waterfordwine.com/products/m-haslinger-fils-champagne

Also got 4-5 bottles of bourbon and scotch at Costco last week to have on hand for gifts as needed over the next few weeks.
 
My mom, her mom, and the people that report directly to me. Although I generally use the company card for the people who report to me under the guise of it being a work necessity (nice travel conference speaker, nice travel mouse, Airpods, etc...).

Edited to add - My nephew just turned 18 so I guess he's technically an adult. Got him some luggage as he's a senior in high school and will be off to college after this year.
 
Plan this year is to get a small something for my employee - gift card or something.

Wife usually buys or makes stuff for the 4 grandparents.

I buy for my wife.

Me - 2
Wife - 4 and if we count our two adult children then 6 but I still consider them kids.

Voted 5-10
 
CletiusMaximus said:
When my brother in law comes over on Saturday we’ll exchange our standard $100 Home Depot gift cards then get into the bourbon. A tradition almost 20 years old now although it was probably $25 or $50 to start.
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That's a Christmas tradition that brings a tear to my eye. Wonderful.
 
Wait, your wife buys gifts for her co-workers kids? I don't even know if most of my co-workers have kids. My concern is who gets butt hurt for being left out?
 
rockaction said:
How does one tell someone not to buy them gifts with any artfulness? Asking for a friend. No, I'm asking for me. My brother and his ex-wife (yes) buy me gifts because I've given my nephew and niece gifts all these years and I think they want to even it out. I think it's ridiculous and tell them not to, but they do anyway. I'm not sure I'm not forceful enough or am I just too grateful when I get said gifts? I never want to seem rude so I thank them a lot. But I have no idea how to get them to stop without being curt about it in some fashion or another. I feel guilty. It's so sweet of them, but really.

I think I'm losing hair on the back of my head, too, but that's neither here nor there. I just did a reverse selfie. Looks like some balding going on.
Click to expand...

Sometimes I’m in a giving mood and don’t expect or want anything in return.
 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Sometimes I’m in a giving mood and don’t expect or want anything in return.
Click to expand...

I think that's precisely how they feel about it. I don't want to protest to the point of being rude, but I also want to convey that they shouldn't have. So it comes off as appreciative and they keep doing it. Maybe this year will be the year and I can act grateful for their mere presence (which I always do anyway because it's true).

Anyway, that's probably true STAEDY, and I should just accept it.
 
Wife and 2 adult sons + their fiancé/girlfriend. Wife exchanges with her sister. That's really about it.
 
Way too many. And, like you, I wish I didn't have to do it. But, it's just one of those things that I plug my nose and put up with.
 
Me, my brother and sister (all in our late 30’s early 40’s) go in on one gift for our parents. We dont buy each other anything. Never have.
 
rockaction said:
How does one tell someone not to buy them gifts with any artfulness? Asking for a friend. No, I'm asking for me. My brother and his ex-wife (yes) buy me gifts because I've given my nephew and niece gifts all these years and I think they want to even it out. I think it's ridiculous and tell them not to, but they do anyway. I'm not sure I'm not forceful enough or am I just too grateful when I get said gifts? I never want to seem rude so I thank them a lot. But I have no idea how to get them to stop without being curt about it in some fashion or another. I feel guilty. It's so sweet of them, but really.

I think I'm losing hair on the back of my head, too, but that's neither here nor there. I just did a reverse selfie. Looks like some balding going on.
Click to expand...
Struggling with these same issues, I can assure you: declining Christmas gifts is about as artful as covering a bald spot. Maybe a yarmulke will do the trick?
 
AAABatteries said:
Wait, your wife buys gifts for her co-workers kids? I don't even know if most of my co-workers have kids. My concern is who gets butt hurt for being left out?
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Yep, She keeps track of their names/ages/etc. Worse yet, her gifts are thoughtful. She ain’t just buying a bunch of Starbucks gift cards and rubber stamping them (I may end up doing this, however).

She also buys meals a couple times a week for trainees. Other instructors in the group felt pressure to follow suit, and some even complained when she provided decent take-out, instead of pizza.

No idea if anyone feels they’ve been left out.
 
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Personally it's usually zero (wife and I agree that projects throughout the year on the house or similar are the gift for each other and abstain). Wife usually gets gift cards for parents/in-laws but that is about it.

I don't need anything or expect gifts from anybody and I don't really feel the need to get for anybody else. I would rather spend time and share stories/make new ones with friends and family over worrying about gifts.
 
2- Mom and the family $20 exchange that isn't for a specific person. My sister coordinates some sort of game where the gifts can get stolen for the $20 exchange.
 
Both parents, so two. I think it's ridiculous but they are old-school and expect us to exchange gifts at Christmas. I gave up shopping for them years ago as my mom kept asking "did you get a receipt for that because <some issue>". I'm guessing it's been 15 or so years now of just sticking $100 each into two Christmas cards and being done with it. Wife and I don't exchange Christmas gifts, either, and usually not for birthdays. We're at the "if I want something I'll buy it for myself" age.
 
Probably give gifts to 25-50+ adults. Family members, housekeeper, landscaper, my really good clients, the people who work at service industry jobs that I often patron, chocolate and cash for my mailman+ garbage men, my former coworkers..etc. I very much enjoy the act of giving gifts. I personally don’t view being generous and charitable a juvenile thing. I dont really understand the notion that we should “grow out” of gift giving as we progress in age. If anything we probably should learn that we gain more from giving as we grow older and wiser.
 
rockaction said:
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Sometimes I’m in a giving mood and don’t expect or want anything in return.
Click to expand...

I think that's precisely how they feel about it. I don't want to protest to the point of being rude, but I also want to convey that they shouldn't have. So it comes off as appreciative and they keep doing it. Maybe this year will be the year and I can act grateful for their mere presence (which I always do anyway because it's true).

Anyway, that's probably true STAEDY, and I should just accept it.
Click to expand...
It is harder to be gracious accepting a gift, than giving one. I feel you, rock, but it's a social skill that makes people feel good.
 
My kids are adults + fiancées. Parents/in-laws. Wife.

8

And let’s be clear. I buy for my wife, she buys for the rest.
 
Actual gifts? Nada. Santa takes care of that, but it's cause it makes her feel good, which is exactly what we all should be striving for this time of year. Maybe I'll convince her drinks and laughs are more important as she gets older, but she's smart...she'll figure it out eventually.
 
jvdesigns2002 said:
Probably give gifts to 25-50+ adults. Family members, housekeeper, landscaper, my really good clients, the people who work at service industry jobs that I often patron, chocolate and cash for my mailman+ garbage men, my former coworkers..etc. I very much enjoy the act of giving gifts. I personally don’t view being generous and charitable a juvenile thing. I dont really understand the notion that we should “grow out” of gift giving as we progress in age. If anything we probably should learn that we gain more from giving as we grow older and wiser.
Click to expand...
It’s not inherently juvenile to give gifts, but once you hit middle age, you’ve probably acquired plenty of stuff.

I’m a minimalist, so I’ve felt that way even longer.

You know, I think the best compromise is giving stuff to kids, but my work group is around 100 members now, and I can barely keep track of children in my own extended family.
 
2. My step mom gets a nice bottle of wine since I know she likes and appreciates it. My mom insists on getting a gift and tells me to get a home depot gift card so I comply. Thankfully that's it. Onto the kids, I give $50 to one nephew, $50 to other nephew and $400 to each of my two teenage daughters and I'm done. Easy peasy.
 
Terminalxylem said:
I’m a minimalist, so I’ve felt that way even longer.
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Me too, but I like giving gifts.

My mom is a pack rat, and I will be damned if I'm going to add to the pile of stuff in the extra room I will have to sort out after she's gone.

They like coffee, but drink the bad stuff, so I got them a coffee subscription that sends a new bag every month. She gets an email, and has to pick out the next bag of fancy coffee that they get.

Stepfather actually asked me if I was doing it again this year, clearly he's over the Starbucks/TJ Maxx coffee my mom will buy if she's not supervised.
 
2

Son
Usually no rent for January, and couple gifts

His mom
Usually gifts totalling about $100. Maybe I'll do the no rent for her too.
 
Mom, wife, son, niece and three nephews (all adults). I also buy small gifts for my direct reports and their teams, and a couple admins from other departments who do a lot for me.
 
Not much. We have family visiting this year (all adults over 18…about 12 or so). We are playing games and made a few categories for gifts (such as one gift is a wearable, one gift is a kitchen or bathroom gadget, etc) with each gift being no more than $30 each. This keeps the gift giving from getting out of hand.
 
I hate the commercialization of Christmas. I get my wife something small, but we try to keep it low key. Feels like a lot of people we know keep trying to outdo the last year, especially for their kids......bah humbug
 
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